by Donna Fasano
Before she reached the dressing rooms, her phone rang again. It was her agent.
“Hey, Marvin.”
He started right in, obviously revved by the offer. Jenna was now, too. But when Marvin, who lived in LA, started talking about her finding a house out there, she thought about Aiden and her heart sank. “Is it mandatory that I move to the West Coast?”
“Yeah. Sorry about that, but they shoot the whole show here and it’s a rigorous prime time schedule. You should be living near LA anyway if you’re serious about your acting career.”
She chewed on her fingernail. Once again her head was spinning. Would she lose Aiden? Did their relationship mean as much to him as it did to her?
The other problem was that her dance company leave of absence would end just as her work on the series would begin. She’d have to get an extension.
Jenna ducked into her sister’s private office. Thankfully, it was empty right now. A large desk took up one side of the room. The other side had a sitting area with white leather chairs, potted plants, and a round coffee table covered in dance magazines and catalogues.
Jenna scrolled through the numbers on her phone and called Ted Hertig, assistant to Lydia Charkow, the ballet company’s artistic director. Ted usually acted as go-between with the dancers and Lydia.
“Hi, Jenna. Caught you on Sunrise Lane. You were hot. And pulled off the role with the panache of a pro.”
She wasn’t going to tell him her character was about to die in the coming week’s episode. Aside from the fact that she didn’t want gossip spreading about her in the ballet company, she’d been sworn to secrecy in her contract. “Thanks, Ted. But I feel so guilty when I think of how many talented and dedicated unemployed actors there are walking the streets wishing for a deal like mine.”
“Wrong attitude. Give yourself some credit. Last time we spoke you said the ratings went up after your stint on the show.”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t really me that did it.”
“Same old Jenna. You’ve always worked your tushy off as a dancer. Never satisfied. Constantly striving for perfection.”
She laughed, thinking of the way she’d practiced her lines for Sunrise Lane over and over around the clock, even sitting up in her bed in the middle of the night. “Guess I don’t know any other way to do things.”
“Well, you obviously jumped into your new career with the same determination and pluck.”
New career? A cold chill went through Jenna. Was the company going to fire her? That was what happened to Bridget when she went on leave for her fractured tibia. They cancelled her contract and told her not to come back. “I’ve been taking daily class; keeping up my technique,” she offered, holding her breath.
“Good. We’ve got a heavy rehearsal schedule planned for this spring and you better be ready for it.” Just as she sighed in relief, Ted asked, “So was there a particular reason for your call?”
Oh. She’d almost forgotten. “Um, actually, yes, there is, Ted. I’ve been offered a role in another series, but it would mean adding eight more months to my leave.”
His silent pause had an ominous feel. “That won’t be possible.”
“How about six months?”
“No, Jenna. Be back April tenth as scheduled or you’re out.”
“Out? As in… fired?”
“Call it what you want. But those are the terms.”
“Okay. I understand completely, Ted.”
Jenna put away her phone and sank into a soft leather chair. The dread she’d felt during the phone call when she mistakenly thought Ted was going to say she’d been fired had returned in full force—only this time the threat was of her own making.
Ted’s ultimatum put a knot in her stomach. When she’d chosen to explore another career, trying to figure out why she was so unhappy, the leave of absence allowed her to keep an umbilical chord to the ballet company. An underlying assurance that she could return to the familiar foundation she’d built and called her professional and artistic home.
But this was a whole new ballgame. If she gave up her job at American Ballet Theater, she knew she’d never get it back. And she wouldn’t blame them. Why should they cater to a dancer who wasn’t fully committed when they had literally thousands of talented ballerinas begging for a chance to dance with the company?
Sure, there were other good companies around that Jenna could probably get a job with if the acting career didn’t work out for her. As long as she didn’t wait until she was too old. But ABT had been her dream since she was a kid. Like little boys who dream of playing for the Yankees. And after all those years of hard work and praying and wishing and striving, she knew what an extraordinary gift it was to have actually gotten that dream.
The door opened and Casey walked in. Seven years her senior, she’d been like a second mother to Jenna. Today Casey wore a silky tunic top over her slim jeans. Her chestnut curls were pinned in an up-do.
“What’s the matter, baby sis? You look totally freaked.” Casey went to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup. “Is it about that guy you’ve been dating?”
“No. Although that’s part of it. I can’t expect him to fly out to California every time he wants to see me.”
“California? What are you talking about?”
“I’ve been offered a role on Reaching Out.”
Casey’s mouth tightened, her attempt to control her annoyance apparent. “And you’re going to take it?”
Jenna’s lips tightened in turn. “I might. I’ll never get a chance like this again. I’m afraid if I don’t do it I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”
“That’s not a good enough reason.”
“Then what is?”
Casey sat in the chair next to Jenna. “Your love for something. Like the love you have for dance.”
“Do I? I’m not really sure.”
“How can you say that? All the hours and hard work you’ve devoted to training?”
Jenna sat forward. “I also remember spending hours memorizing every plant in the botanical manual for Parker. And driving myself to get straight A’s on every report card so I wouldn’t disappoint Mom. And working to invent silly circus acts to make you guys laugh. Not to mention my compulsion to keep my clothes and room immaculate.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I wonder if I pushed myself to become a dancer for you.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it? I worshipped you. And I knew how much you sacrificed for me. Turning yourself into a mother and a mentor at such an early age. Even giving up your own dream so I could have a chance.”
“A chance at something you wanted.”
“Who decided that, Casey? I was only a kid.”
“You loved it!”
“I loved you.”
“And I you.” Casey shook her head. “I’m sorry, but people just don’t drive themselves as hard as you have for things they don’t really want.”
“They do when they’re terrified their world will fall apart around them if they don’t keep everybody happy.” Jenna broke into tears.
Casey came to her, squeezed herself into the chair, and held Jenna as she cried. “I’m so sorry, baby sis. I never meant to make you do anything you didn’t want.”
Jenna looked up at her. “Nobody meant any of it. Daddy didn’t mean to die on us. And Mom didn’t mean to hurt me when she disappeared into her black moods or lost herself on a bender. And you and Parker didn’t know I saw how worried, strained and tired you were. Teenagers trying to be adults, keeping us from going under. I saw the family that I loved fall to pieces.”
Casey’s comforting hand stroked Jenna’s back. “The problem is you’re still haunted by what happened in the past. What you need to realize is—that was then and this is now. Parker and I are doing very well. And if you’re not the bright shining star of the Richardson family, Mom will be fine. She’s not the same person she was when Daddy was dying. She takes her meds. She doesn
’t have to worry about money anymore since Parker and I have enough to help her. And she likes running her bed and breakfast. Sure, I saw how childish she got when you broke up with Sean and lost Sunrise Lane. But it didn’t last. Trust me, Mom is okay.”
Jenna thought about it a moment and said, “It’s so scary to let go and believe that. I had trouble sleeping for the past few weeks worrying that she would slide back into a trough. But when I think about it, you’re right. She didn’t.”
“And she’s not going to. The question is—when will you get over it and believe that?” Casey reached out for the box of tissues on the coffee table and handed a few to Jenna.
She blew her nose and nodded. “I’m working on it. In the meantime, please don’t mention this offer I got to Mom or anybody.”
Casey mimed a zipper across her lips. “I won’t tell a soul. This is your life and you don’t have to please anyone but yourself with the choices you make. And that includes me. I’ll love you just as much as always, whether you dance or not.”
Chapter 21
That Friday snow flurries swirled in the white-gray sky as Aiden drove his Chevy Volt along the country roads with Jenna at his side.
A couple nights ago he had called Coty saying, “Looks like you won’t be parting with your autographed Mike Tyson boxing glove. You won the bet.”
Aiden and Jenna had gotten as close as two people could be. They shared everything, including a bed, spent as much time together as possible, and yesterday she’d said she couldn’t imagine getting through a day without seeing him.
No, she hadn’t come out and told him she loved him. And that was probably a good thing. Because over the past week when Aiden wanted so badly to say that very thing to her, his guilt over abandoning Wendy made the words stick in his throat.
And he couldn’t do it.
That was one reason he wanted Jenna to meet Coty. Aiden thought bringing her into a part of his life from the past might joggle things around. Besides, a visit from Jenna was the prize Buster had said he wanted if he won their bet.
Aiden and Jenna arrived at the retirement community around two in the afternoon.
Buster “Coty” Cotes answered the door looking freshly washed and shaved. Aiden made the introductions and watched them, sensing a warm approval on both sides.
The voluminous sounds of rising and falling crescendos cascaded from the compact speaker system on the other side of the room.
“Eugene Onegin by Tchaikovsky,” Jenna said. “I adore this opera.”
Coty grinned, apparently thrilled to have his newly acquired taste for fine music noted. “One of my faves, too. But I keep it at a discreet level. Don’t want to bother my neighbors.”
“It’s a ballet as well as an opera, you know.” Jenna took a seat on a red upholstered sofa, and Coty relaxed across from her in one of the wingback chairs Aiden had bought him when he moved into these two rooms that were now his home.
“I didn’t know that,” Coty said. “But Aiden did inform me about your being a ballet dancer as well as an actress. You must be quite a talented lady.”
“She is,” Aiden said, while Jenna shrugged, blushing and chewing her lips. He loved how shy she was when she received praise. Totally opposite her dynamic persona on stage and screen. He poured out coffee for the three of them, set the mugs on the dark walnut coffee table, and took a seat next to Jenna rather than his usual place in the other wingback.
“I been watching you in Sunrise Lane,” Coty said. “Funny to see you acting all nasty and cruel when Aiden’s been telling me how sweet you are.”
Jenna giggled. “Well, be sure to watch it next Wednesday, because that’s when they kill me off.”
“They gettin’ rid of you?”
“Yeah, I won’t be in the show anymore. I was sent off into the sunset with a drug overdose.”
“Damn. Whatchya gonna do now?”
Aiden glanced at Jenna and saw her twisting her fingers together in that same nervous gesture he’d noticed the first night they met. “She’s got a big decision to make.”
She nodded. “I have until this coming Thursday to decide if I want accept an offer to do another TV show, but it means moving to LA. If I take it I’ll lose any chance of ever going back to the ballet company. But if I don’t take it my agent said he won’t work with me anymore, in which case this acting career I’ve just begun will be over.”
Coty exchanged a glance with Aiden. The man knew him like a book and had to be guessing how painful this was for him. The fact that Jenna was considering a move to the West Coast had been a real blow to Aiden. But when he’d asked her if she figured they’d ever see each other again if she went, Jenna had said, “You seem to be quite mobile in your work. Why don’t you come with me? I’ll make enough money to rent a house for the two of us.”
Which of course sent him over the moon. He wished he could tell this to Coty now, so his caring friend wouldn’t worry.
When Jenna excused herself to the bathroom, Aiden had his chance. He moved to the chair next to Coty, leaned in close, and told him what she’d said.
Good to hear that,” Coty said. “Anyone who has eyes could see the love between you two.”
He’d been hoping for a response like that from this man whose wisdom had never failed him. “Which proves she does want me just for who I am. A simple schoolteacher.”
“Except that’s not who you are.”
“Sure it is.”
Coty shook his head. “No, you were a schoolteacher six years ago, but now you’re a rich and famous author.”
“But I’m proud of being a schoolteacher. There’s nothing wrong with—”
“You forget who you’re talking to, son? I’m the one who convinced you what a noble profession it is. But you’re no more a schoolteacher now than you are a boy doing time in juvie. You left both those things behind and became an accomplished author. Remember that boy you once were who kept hanging on to being bad to protect himself? Now you’re hanging on to being a schoolteacher for another kind of protection. But I got news for you—owning the new version of yourself doesn’t mean you’re abandoning Wendy. She’s already gone and she doesn’t need you. But I can see that dear little girl I just met sure does.”
Aiden dropped his face into his hands, Coty’s words hitting home. Hearing the bathroom door open, he quickly sat up and whispered, “Do you think Wendy will forgive me for loving someone new?”
Coty fixed a fatherly gaze on Aiden. “I guarantee she is looking down at you from the heavenly stars and finally smiling because you’re not alone anymore.”
~*~
They drove home through falling snow as the day turned to gray dusk. When they reached the B&B, Jenna watched the headlights from Aiden’s car break against the embankment of freshly plowed snow lining the driveway.
“Leave it to ever-reliable Parker and his snowplow,” she said as the car rolled onto the blacktop surface in the parking area. She unfastened her seat belt and turned to Aiden in the driver’s seat. “Don’t you love the snow?” she asked, her lips slowly closing in on his.
“Yeah. You can do fun stuff with it,” he replied, his lips meeting hers for a tender kiss.
She smiled. “You mean like sledding and skiing and building a snowman?”
“Where I grew up we did other things.” As they got out of the car, he said, “Think there’s any of that soup left from lunch?”
“That’s just what we need, isn’t it? I’ll go check and heat it up.” Jenna started loping up the walk toward the front door when she felt a light splat on her back. She turned and saw Aiden crouched on one knee scooping snow into his hands, an evil grin on his face.
“Is this one of those ‘other things’ you were referring to?”
He laughed and hurled another snowball at her.
Jenna sidestepped it and countered with a looper that caught Aiden flush on the chest. A fuzzy white burst of soft fine powder signaled a clean hit. “Ha!”
Aiden retaliated by
lofting what turned out to be a powder puffer that fell apart in midair. Jenna’s next shot held together, but Aiden deftly dodged it and watched it sail by.
They ran through the yard, chasing and ducking and hurling snowballs faster and faster, until their frolicking led to cupped hands desperately shoveling flurries of loose snow at each other at close range. They giggled like third-graders as Aiden dropped low and wrapped his arms around Jenna’s legs, flopping her down safely onto a soft bank of snow in the yard. Laughing uncontrollably, she pulled Aiden down with her, entwining her arms and legs with his. Soon they were punctuating their laughter with kisses in a wintry world of white.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Jenna whispered, as they lay there in each other’s arms staring out at the now gently falling snowflakes sparkling against the dark in the outdoor lights of the bed and breakfast.
“You’re beautiful,” Aiden said. He stroked her cheek with his gloved hand and then pushed up on his elbow, gazing at her with that pensive look he sometimes got. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. Jenna Richardson, I’m in love with you.”
She looked up into his brilliant emerald eyes, his handsome face the one she thought of first thing in the morning and before she slept each night, and knew without question she felt the same. Jenna was truly and deeply in love with this man. “Oh, Aiden. I love you, too.”
Sober now, they got to their feet and strolled toward the door, stopping at intervals to kiss and hug and say “I love you” over and over. Jenna had never experienced such a feeling of lightness—and a settled contentment. Her love for Aiden wasn’t about achieving anything or proving anything or making anyone happy but herself.
And, boy, did it make her happy.
“Let’s celebrate,” Aiden said. “I’ve got an idea for something special we can do.”
“Ooh. Sounds romantic.”
“Next Friday night. We’ll go in to New York City. You can wear that dress Lexi made for you.”
She paused with a gloved finger to her mouth. “How ironic. Next Friday is when I was supposed to wear the dress for that big K.Z. Knight movie premiere with Sean.” She leaned in, planting a kiss on his mouth. “Sorry I brought up that subject. I’d much rather spend the night with you. It’s just funny how things work out sometimes.”
