by Haley Jenner
"No idea what you're talking about."
Eyebrows raised, he stifles his dubious laughter. "If you say so."
The leadup to a wedding ceremony is probably the easiest to stomach, free food and booze aside of course. Guests arriving, easy excitement lifting the mood. Their eager interest in the decorations, in the groom. Some are brave enough to approach the man ready to sign his life away to love, others preferring to mingle amongst themselves, letting him be. The women, wanting to be seated to maximize their view of the ceremony, men not caring less, counting down the moments until the bride arrives because they're closer to that booze and food that the bride and groom sell their soul to pay for.
Jake taps my arm, gesturing toward the front of the chapel and I follow. Will and Adam are seated in the front pew, deep in conversation with Archer and Toby. Smiling widely in greeting, they stand to hug both myself and Jake.
"Nice to see you again, Luca." Will's hug is tighter than Adam's, earning him an exaggerated eye roll from Toby.
"Didn't hug me like that. I don't like that you’re trading me for a younger, more virile model," he sniffs.
Will winks at me. "Tobias, a pristine specimen like this lets me touch him, you bet your last fucking dollar I'm going to take advantage. Stop whining and go stand with my son. You too." He places a hand against Archer's chest, sitting down.
Jake sits beside Will, and I stand awkwardly, considering I should move toward the back to take a seat.
"Sit." I look to Adam, my protest on the tip of my tongue, but his face brokers no argument and I nod, quickly dropping down next to Jake. Forcing myself not to find Frankie in the chapel, I twist, eyes lazy on the door, as more guests filter inside. I watch Willow and Lily rush up the aisle and I stand automatically. She's panicked, her skin flushed, face twisted with troubled anxiety. Coming into our pew, she pops Lily onto Jake's lap, a posed smile making her eyes bigger than usual. "Wave to Daddy when you see him, stay with Uncle Jake."
Touching her elbow, she moves with me closer to Adam and Will. "You okay?"
Nodding, she glances at Lily, her focus now on Jake's bow tie, then back to Adam and Will. "Molly showed up at the house."
She's on the verge of tears, and wrapping an arm around her shoulders, she falls into my body. She's shaking.
"Fuck," Will spits, eyes subconsciously searching for Toby.
"What am I missing?"
Inhaling heavily, Willow stabilizes her breathing, cracking her neck in a futile attempt to calm herself. "Toby's mom. She's bad news. I won't let her ruin Bennett's day," she adds on a shaky exhale.
Hand reaching out to squeeze her arm, Adam steps closer. "She won't. How'd you get rid of her?"
Stepping from my embrace, she readjusts the tie of her flowy dress, now that I look, starkly similar to Lily's. Cute. "How do you think? Gave her money. Told her to fuck off."
"China." Toby's voice breaks the tension of our circle. Lips to her neck, he breathes his wife in, groaning softly. "You're beautiful."
He twists her in his arms, the easy feeling he was only seconds ago emitting dissolving immediately. "What's wrong?"
Shaking her head, Willow dismisses him. "Nothing important. Just toddler tantrums as we were leaving, I thought I was gonna miss the ceremony."
His eyes scan her face for a beat, his gaze narrowing. "You're lying. Tell me you’re okay and I’ll leave it for now if you promise to tell me the truth later."
Nodding, she drops her body against his, hugging him tightly. "I’m okay, I swear.” She rests her chin on his chest. “Tomorrow. I promise."
I watch all this unfold with piqued interest. The openness in their relationship is so genuine, the concern and support from their family resolute. It makes me question my decision to swear off any type of intimate relationship in my future.
On their own accord my eyes seek out Frankie and I internally curse myself for letting my mind wander there. It was decided. We decided that nothing would eventuate between us. We agreed. It’s for the best.
Soft murmurs begin to filter through the chapel and Toby, kissing his wife’s lips once more, cups her cheek, their eyes communicating silently.
“I love you.” She closes her eyes, a soft smile playing at her lips and I turn away, uncomfortable at watching their private moment. Dropping back next to Jake, I grin at Lily, who eagerly switches from Jake’s lap to mine.
“Hey, pretty lady.”
She gives me a big, toothy smile, her head dropping to my shoulder as she snuggles in, watching her daddy, thumb lodged firmly in her mouth.
Jake taps my elbow, and I glance toward him over Lily’s head.
“What was that about?”
Leaning over, I cup Lily’s ear to shield her from my words. “Somethin’ about Molly showing up,” I whisper and a deep line forms automatically in his forehead.
“Shit,” he spits.
“Everyone had similar reactions. Toby doesn’t know,” I share. “He knows something’s up, but not what. Willow will fill him in tomorrow.”
Nodding, the worried lines around his mouth deepen, his hand coming up to pat Lily’s head.
Quiet descends on the chapel, the minister taking his position, Bennett being flanked by his two best friends. Soft keys of a piano drift through the open space, and my gaze seeks out Frankie.
Her eyes are closed, a small smile playing on her lips, her shoulders dance in time with the movement of her hands.
Her soft hum breaks in time with the piano, her eyes opening slowly, drunk on the music. Her lips split into a wide grin, the dimples in her cheeks showcasing her obvious joy in the moment. Reluctantly, I pull my gaze away from the singing beauty, twisting to follow the gaze of everyone else seated inside the chapel.
Aubrey, dressed much the same as Frankie, saunters down the aisle first. She winks over at Bennett, her eyes flicking to her husband and back again as Annabelle steps into view.
Stomach swollen with Archer’s baby growing inside her, Annabelle looks cute as shit. She’s dressed the same as Aubrey and Frankie and I consider for a millisecond the magic of women’s fashion. A dress, so perfectly suited to three entirely different looking girls. All equally stunning. The tight material complimenting their starkly different body types.
I look at Frankie and I see a woman so unrivaled in her perfection, yet, I’d bet my life on the fact that Archer and Jake are thinking the exact same thing about their women.
A hitch in Frankie’s voice breaks me from my thoughts, and once again, on their own accord, my eyes seek her out. Her fully fledged grin has morphed into one a little more watery, her eyes filled with unshed tears as she works to keep her composure enough to continue singing.
I look to Bennett then, the sap’s face even more emotional than his sister-in-law. It’s hard to not find enjoyment in the singular moment, watching the groom, so taken by his bride, that he’s barely holding himself together. It’s a moment so many people miss, their focus set solely on the bride.
It’s then that I turn to Darci. She’s breathtaking. I guess every bride is on their day, but Darci, she’s something else.
Her body is encased completely in red lace. Not white. Not ivory. Blood red. The skirt fits to her waist, dropping loosely in soft waves around her feet. The bodice shows off a modest amount of her ample cleavage, the intricate lace covering her shoulders all the way down to her delicate wrists.
Her bouquet is filled with greenery, the odd white rose adding a dash of muted color to the vibrancy of her outfit.
She’s stunning.
She wears no veil. Nothing covering her face, not even her glasses. Her short dark hair sits in a loose wave around her face, a small bit of greenery, matching her bouquet, pinned into the side.
Glancing back at Bennett, I watch him pass his sleeping daughter to Archer, his face so broken down with happiness he can barely contain himself.
So he doesn’t.
Marching down the aisle, he stops dead in front of Darci, hands cupping her che
eks, a desperate tenderness to the gesture. A moment in time that should be private, a silent communication between lovers. Instead, their moment is being shared with all of us, letting us share in the love that consumes them. Bennett's lips descend on Darci's, her hand pressed firmly against his chest, where his heart beats for her.
Quiet chuckles ripple through the guests, mine included. It's a nice sound. One that reflects off the aged walls of the chapel.
Their kiss slows to a stop, their lips reluctantly parting on coquettish smiles. His head ducks forward again, lips this time touching her ear, his whispered words inaudible to everyone but her. Her cheeks deepen in their natural blush, thick eyelashes sweeping across her skin.
Exhaling heavily, Bennett straightens, readjusting his jacket. His strides are fast, wide as he takes his place back on the altar, waiting for Darci to continue toward him.
The ceremony itself is short, to the point. Their vows were sweet, without being overdone. Their promises to one another both intimate and meaningful.
Their kiss was verging on carnal, nothing sweet about the moment that sealed them as husband and wife. It was echoed with wolf whistles that startled Eméli, which meant it was also echoed with an ear-splitting scream from their daughter.
I liked it. A lot.
Real life moments with zero pretense.
Chapter Nine
Frankie
Skirting through clusters of people, gaze set on the bar, champagne within reach, I refuse everyone eye contact. Fuck. I just want another drink. Correction, I need another drink. All this socializing is exhausting. Peopling is hard. Especially with virtual strangers. I just want to settle in with my people. Drink, laugh, and enjoy the remainder of the wedding reception without having to recount the last five years of my life. Listen to the inflection of accusation in their words as they recap how heartbroken my parents were by my running away.
The bartender offers me a flirty grin, which I attempt to return tightly. It's not that he's not cute. Quite the opposite really. Once upon a time, his delicious smile would've had me scaling the bar to get closer. Not today. More, not anymore. My interest in men seems to have dissipated. Disappeared like a puff of smoke into the cold and dark night. I'd like to pretend it’s a subconscious decision I've made to concentrate on myself.
Ha!
Even I'm not so misguided to believe that. My denial is dense, but it ain't that thick. I know exactly why this barman isn't spiking my interest, and it has everything to do with the blonde roommate taking up residence in most of my thoughts.
My throat opens to swallow one full flute of champagne, startling the bartender as I gesture for another, offering it the same treatment.
"Rough night?" He slides my third glass over, the wide eyes he flashes my way painting his regret at the flirty grin he'd offered me only moments ago.
"Just catching up." I wink, turning and walking toward the crowd I've been aiming to reach for the last three hours.
"FRANK-EEEE, fourth love of my life, come, join us," Toby hollers as I approach, drawing the attention of the group.
Hands to hips, I frown. "Fourth?"
He nods apologetically. "I'm sorry, but it's true. Willow. Lily. Archer. You."
Hands dropping from my hips, my mouth opens in mock outrage. "Archer is ahead of me?"
"Yeah." He looks to his friend lovingly. "He gives better hugs."
I laugh.
'What about me?" Bennett pouts.
"You are very pretty," he slurs, Bennett batting his eyelashes.
"Or me?" Jake interjects.
"Oh man, Frank, I'm sorry, but you might be my sixth. Certain hardware in Jake's junk has recently come to light, which means he can offer my body things you just can't."
Feigning heartbreak, I finally glance at Luca, my gaze flicking across his for a few seconds longer than it did anyone else.
"Where are the other girls?"
"Darci had to feed bub," Willow offers. "Annabelle and Aubrey went to help her with her dress."
"I offered." Bennett grins wickedly and I laugh.
"Oh! I'm sure you did, Casanova. What are we talking about anyway?"
"Unicorns," Jake offers, drunkenly.
I raise an eyebrow. "Sparkly horn, mythical creature type unicorns?"
"Do you believe, Frankie? Poor Luca hear thinks they’re a figment of our overactive imaginations. But he's wrong. I've seen many," Toby smirks down at his wife.
"Were you high?"
"Always when unicorns are involved, Frank." This comment comes from Archer, a brusque slur dancing along his words.
"Darci's a huge fan of unicorns," Bennett adds, and I look between everyone, a confused smile tipping my lips upward.
"Okay, what am I missing? We're talking in code right now... right?"
Luca shifts uncomfortably on the spot. Poor guy almost looks... embarrassed? It's a first for him, and I find myself enjoying watching the awkwardness radiating from him.
He meets my eyes, his cheeks pink at the highest park of his cheekbone, possibly the cold night air, but I'm gonna take it as embarrassment.
His eyes flick around the group. "You guys suck." He sighs, tongue skating along the line of his teeth as he considers me. "I made a stupid comment about start to finish blowjobs. Or as I like to call them, unicorns, because they don't exist."
"No one's ever swallowed your cum?" The vulgarity in my words tumbles out before I can catch them.
Luca's nostrils flare. His Adam's apple bobs with difficulty. The large expanse of his chest expands and retracts prominently with the thick breath he works to swallow.
"Knew it. Frankie believes in unicorns too." The pride in Toby's voice is comical and I laugh. Loudly.
"What?" he asks. "It's hard to be best friends with someone who doesn't share the same interests. Like my deep love of oral."
My gaze tracks over Luca discreetly. The way he regards me with keen interest, overwrought lust, and uncertainty.
“Can we talk about something else?” He groans, directing his eyes anywhere but at me.
The group snickers as he speaks, and I almost feel bad at the self-consciousness rolling off him in waves.
“I still think you should’a forced the issue with the crazy girl from the bar,” Jake adds. “Chased her down for her number. She would’a definitely made you believe.”
“Who?” Toby asks, and I watch Luca’s unease move from amusement to cautious panic.
“Dude.” He pushes at Jake, shaking his head.
“Some chick Luca fucked in a bar we were supposed to meet him at. He bailed on me for pussy. But I forgive him, said it was the best sex of his life,” he sighs. “I can’t begrudge him that.”
My eyes fix on Luca, who purposefully avoids my probing gaze. Instead focusing on Jake. Jake notices the dread clearly oozing from him, his brow furrowing.
“What?” he rasps. “No one here cares.”
Willow takes pity on him. Trying to be supportive by throwing me under the bus in the exact way Jake did Luca. “Frankie had a similar experience, isn’t that right, babe? That delicious man that fucked you in a seedy bar. She wouldn’t even give the guy her name.”
Unable to refuse my stare. Luca’s bright blue eyes meet mine. So many emotions, feelings, thoughts, move through his eyes like a slideshow. But it’s lust, the overpowering memory of what we shared in that reckless moment that clouds his eyes potently.
Too much passes between us. Too much want. Exaggerated longing. The need that we worked so hard at suppressing, rearing its diabolical head, tempting us to give in to the one thing we agreed we could never have.
Each other.
It’s at least a minute, a full loaded sixty seconds before we realize no one has spoken.
Clearing our throats, our hands fiddle nervously with our drinks. Luca forces a laugh, the sound verging on robotic, making the moment a thousand times more awkward.
“I’m gonna,” we speak at the same time, pointing in opposite directions. We no
d, twisting on our feet, to walk away from the unease of the situation without another word.
Our friends watch on in expectation, no one muttering a single word as Luca and I scurry to find space from one another.
I spend the next hour avoiding almost everyone. I chat to Darci nursing Eméli, I consider leaving. More than once. Escaping for solitude, I find a quiet space away from everyone else, needing room to breathe.
So many thoughts, So many unknowns.
The best sex of his life.
My libido springs to life at that, begging for me to seek him out, to offer him an encore.
I could kill Willow for blabbing. I’m not sure how I feel about him knowing I’ve thought about that night. On repeat.
Fuck a duck. Why do I do this to myself? Why didn’t I just keep my big mouth shut?
Mouth.
Jesus. Now I’m thinking about his dick. How has no one ever wanted to lose themselves in worshipping his cock. Fuck. Me. I’ve seen glimpses of it. Felt it inside me. I’d give anything to taste him. To watch him come undone while fucking my mouth.
He’d feel like hardened silk. The warmth of his skin setting me alight.
“Thinking pretty hard there, Crazy Girl.”
Hard.
He’s so handsome. Leaning against the dark brick, all hard angles and forbidden temptation. We’re alone. He, like me, needing space from the consuming thoughts we banned ourselves from considering.
A smoke balances between his fingers, drink hanging loosely in the same hand. The epitome of ease and relaxation.
“Didn’t know you smoked.”
The wide breadth of his shoulders lifts in a non-committal shrug. “Pick one up when I feel so inclined.”
His body stands only feet away from mine, Close enough that I can smell him. His cologne muted only by the soft scent of cigarette smoke.
I watch the movement of his lips as they kiss the tip of his beer bottle, the way they wrap around the butt of his cigarette.
I can’t pull my eyes away. My focus set firmly on the dark red line of his lips. Lips that I’ve felt against mine. That have whispered dirty demands into my eager mouth.
