by Lissa Bilyk
He kissed my forehead. “I will never hurt you, Tori. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do, or that makes you uncomfortable.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to lie to you, but it’s easier than explaining…”
“Have you ever slept with anyone?” he whispered against my cheek.
“No. I couldn’t. I just… I’d freak out every time a boy tried to kiss me. Which wasn’t often,” I added. “I’m so sorry.”
“Why? You didn’t lie to me.”
“I’ve ruined this moment now.”
He brought his face down to mine, kissed me deeply, pressed his hard cock against me so I knew how much he still wanted me. With a trembling growl, he whispered, “Only if you want it ruined.”
When the next kiss ended, I said, “No. I want you. I need you. Please just understand... I need to go slow, and I might freak out.”
“Don’t be scared. I’ll never hurt you. I love you.” He wrapped his arms around me, lifted me off my feet - only for a moment, only so he could guide us backwards to slide on to the bed. I lay back and his fingers slid underneath the material of my panties, drawing them down over my thighs, calves, toes.
And then that was it. I was naked. He was naked, hovering above me. He lowered his head and kissed me silly. His hands explored my curves, delighted in my bosom, my hips, my backside. I raised my knees, cupped around him, squeezed with my thighs. He groaned and I felt one of his hands explore lower, caress my thighs and the opening of my deepest secret, my deepest shame. His fingers delved where none had been welcome before, circled around my entrance before slowly easing in.
I stiffened, after all this suddenly shy. My first instinct was to close my knees, trapping his hand there. I wasn’t a sex goddess. I knew less about the enjoyment of the act than most girls my age, having deliberately avoided it. Cameron felt my hesitation and paused his kissing, his fingers still inside me.
“Are you okay with this?” he said huskily. I felt the pressure of his erection against my thigh, and I could tell how desperately he wanted me. It must be killing him to take it this slow.
“Yeah. Just be gentle,” I whispered, before drawing his head down to kiss him again. His fingers still in my core, his thumb travelled upwards, exploring my other hidden depths. When he brushed against my clitoris I gasped. I felt him smile against my face, felt a sensual blush tinge my cheeks. He moved his lips back to my neck as his fingers caressed me again, lazily, sending thrills of pleasure straight through my core. His hard cock pulsed against my hip and he nipped at my neck, my collarbone, my breasts, taking my hard nipple into his mouth and razing it with his tongue. I cried out from the unexpected pleasure it gave and he squeezed my other breast with his free hand, still stroking me. After several moments of sucking and teasing and circling my nipple with his tongue, he moved to the other and repeated. His fingers never stopped delving me, ever so gently, teasing at the sensitive spot near the entrance. His mouth left my breasts and his kissed down over my stomach past my belly button, easing his body between my legs. His fingers left me and I fell back, recovering.
“What are you doing?” I managed to gasp, twisting the sheets in my hands. His hands eased my knees further apart and his thumbs gently parted my folds. I raised my head to see his face.
“I’m worshipping you,” he said breathlessly, holding eye contact, before I felt something warm and smooth and wet delve along me from entrance to clitoris.
“No,” I said, and instantly regretted it.
He paused. “Do you really mean that?”
I took a deep breath, aching. “No. I don’t know why I said that.”
“It’s okay. Sometimes we say ‘no’ when we mean ‘go’ because it’s all so overwhelming. Just to be sure, say ‘yellow’ when you want me to slow down for you, okay? ‘Yellow’, like the amber in a traffic light.”
I nodded and fell back as he licked me again, slow, sensual, his clever tongue just avoiding the tiny bundle of nerves. I shuddered and moaned, my hips moving with him against my will. His tongue circled and lapped at my pleasure, his lips nipping the sensitive skin, his hands roaming over my thighs, tugging me closer. He stroked me for what seemed like forever, when he tackled my clit ferociously, kissing and sucking and licking with strong, fierce strokes.
Momentum built in my belly. To my horror, my legs started shaking, and my throat was making these little gasping noises. Totally freaked, I tried to pull away. Cam growled and locked his arms around my hips.
“Cam, stop!” I said desperately. “Yellow, yellow!”
He pulled back from that tiny nub of sensation and gazed at me with his piercing blue eyes, a gaze that tore into my soul. His lips trailed kisses on my inner thigh.
“Tori, have you ever orgasmed before?”
I felt my face grow hot. “I don’t know.” Stupid inexperienced virgin!
He pressed his face against my thigh, left a kiss I swear was branded into my skin. “That’s a no then. Don’t be ashamed. Just trust me.”
He returned his tongue to my clit and latched on tight, flickering over, swirling his tongue in circles. I lay back down again and closed my eyes, trying to listen to my body.
“Cam!” I half-sighed as he stroked my quivering thighs. I ran my hands over his short-cropped hair. I felt that strange pressure building again and before I knew it something deep inside me erupted and shot warmth and tingles all over my body. The orgasm swelled and rippled through my body like shockwaves. My back buckled, my legs shook, my head threw itself back of its own accord as I let out a series of animalistic shrieks of pleasure. The weight of Cameron’s arms pressing into me kept me from losing my balance as my world turned upside down, desperate to shake me off. Once I came back down to earth I felt his weight leave me as he crawled up the bed to kiss me, his cock dragging over my belly and leaving a damp trail. I tasted myself on his lips.
“Good?” he said, a cheeky grin on his perfect face. He was pleased with himself.
“Incredible,” I said breathlessly. I really, really hoped he wanted to do that again.
“Wanna touch my cock?”
I didn’t want to seem too eager, so I bit my lip. I was still frightened of what it might feel like, whether it would be different at all or if he’d rip me apart, whether I’d actually like sex after all.
Well, I’d never find out if I didn’t do something about it.
I nodded, a tiny miniscule motion of the head.
He sat back on his heels, took my hand and drew it down his body, over his formidable pecs and tight abs, down that beautiful V-shaped muscle by his hips, trailing the dark hair that started below his belly button and blossomed into a dark crown surrounded his enormous cock. He wrapped my fingers around his shaft and I gasped in surprise. It felt like silk, or velvet, stretched over steel, so hard and yet so soft at the same time.
Instinctively I moved my hand over his length, marvelling that this beautiful, powerful man had put his most precious gift right into my hands, that he trusted me enough to handle him. His head fell back with a groan.
“Not too hard, Tori,” he said between gritted teeth. “It’s been a while since I’ve… well, I don’t wanna come too soon.”
More adventurous, I pumped his manhood, fascinated by the soft skin of his balls and the smooth head, glistening and pink. I watched in interest as the muscles of his stomach tightened in response to my touch, his breathing turn ragged and sharp, hissing on intake. His fingers ran through my hair, and he leaned over to kiss me. The angle was too awkward and I had to let go. He pressed me down into the soft bed and then shifted to reach into his nightstand and remove a small foil packet.
Oh my god, this was it. We were going to do it.
Okay breathe, I told myself. It won’t be like last time. Cameron cares about you. He’d never hurt you.
I pushed myself to my elbows to watch him slide the condom onto his thick cock. He looked up at me, grinning, anticipating, his genuine smile my undoing. I smile
d back to reassure him, then gathered my courage and got to my knees, gently pressing back on his broad shoulders. He let me guide him down on the bed, lying flat against it, his wrapped cock saluting the sky. I straddled him and hesitated, unsure.
He took my hand, squeezed briefly. “Are you ready?”
I nodded, suddenly breathless, my heart thundering. He reached down with one hand to guide his cock into me. I felt the head push at my entrance, then felt his muscles tighten as he slowly drew into me, inch by inch, languorously. There was no pain, but I gasped at the incredible sensation of fullness, tightened my thighs around his hips as he drew me into his arms and kissed me, stroked my hair. Then, when he could hold it no longer, he gave a thrust that made me whimper in pleasure, and withdrew, torturously slow, to plunge deeper into me. His moans echoed into my mouth, and I wound my hands around his neck. My heart hammered in my chest and my breathing escalated. He tore his mouth away from mine and sank his face into my shoulder, thrusting harder, faster. I clung to him and he plundered my depths, trying to get closer, as if I could crawl into the skin that housed him. My hips rode against his in a rhythm I never knew I knew. The bed beneath us shook. He moaned something, over and over as he fucked me harder.
Oh, it was my name.
I cried out again as he shifted to run his fingers over my clit again, harder this time, taking no prisoners.
“Come for me,” he demanded, biting at my neck, pumping me for another orgasm.
“Oh, fuck,” I agreed, digging my fingers into his thighs, trying to get him deeper. The orgasm hit with little warning, pulling me under, drowning me. I lost my balance and fell forward, slamming across his chest, but he clung to me, pounding me harder, extracting every last molecule of pleasure from my body as I screamed his name.
Whilst I recovered he rolled us over so he was on top. His fingers dugs hard into my shoulders. I swore in pleasure and wondered why I had been so afraid of this. This was wonderful, this was beautiful. A gorgeous man above me, intent on my pleasure, gaining his own from being inside me. He reached down between our pulsating bodies and stroked me hard for another orgasm. It smashed into me like a train, ran over all my cognitive thoughts and left nothing behind. I swear I forgot my own name. Cameron circled his arms around me and pumped into me deeper, harder, faster, giving himself over to his own pleasure, grunting and moaning below me as my orgasm milked his cock.
And then finally, Cameron let out a gasping, “Fuck! Tori, oh god, fuck yes!” and shuddered, pulling me even tighter against him, bruising my shoulders as he grasped at me, emptying his seed, gasping and moaning my name.
A moment passed. I lay beneath Cameron, his cock deep inside me, my hair a mess, my face hot with pleasure and exertion. His big body covered mine, trapped me, but I didn’t freak out. I trusted him.
He dropped a respectful, sweet kiss on my lips before slowly pulling out of me and rolling off. I felt strangely empty, hollow, without him inside me, He removed the condom and threw it away, then demanded I turn my back to him so he could cuddle me. I lay down, my legs numb, my entire body trembling and zipping with thrills.
He snuggled me close, his heat enveloping me. “What are you thinking?”
I took a moment to find the right words. “I... I was just so afraid. I never thought it was real, because I’m not your usual type. I never thought you meant it, not until yesterday.”
“Do you know what I do with the girls I normally go after? The thin ones with low self-esteem and nose jobs?” He stroked my hair back from my face. “I use them. I don’t even spend the night. None of them have been to my apartment. No one but you has slept in this bed. I do what I need to do and get out of there. And the funny thing?” He laughed bitterly. “You’re right, there are a hundred girls out there that would drop everything for just a chance to be with me. I’m not stupid, and I’m not in denial. I work hard for this body and I use it to my advantage. I use girls that are my usual type.”
He took my hand and kissed my fingers. “You’re not my usual type, Tori, because I don’t want what I’ve always done.”
“So you’d do it again with me?”
“In a heartbeat. I just want – no, I need you to be happy. I need to be the one to make you happy.”
At the same time I wondered, is that it? That – intimacy – was what I was so afraid of? That was easy. I could do that again.
“What?” Cameron asked as he nuzzled into my hair. I hadn’t realised I’d spoken out loud.
“I said, I could do that again.”
He snuggled into me, tightening his arms around me. “Let’s hope so, gorgeous girl. I’ll never get enough of you, and I’m never letting you go.”
Chapter Twelve
He promised me as we rolled out of bed to find discarded clothing that we would do it again, as soon as possible. He reminded me again over a plate of scrambled eggs (white for him, added bacon and toast for me), and I was so hungry I ate all of it, shame over my appetite be damned. He ate twice as much as me, anyway, and then went to work out in his private gym after sweeping me into his arms and kissing me, his taste salty and warm. I showered and explored his apartment before finding his records of his own TV and film performances. I picked out one of the children’s TV shows, popped the disc in the player, ands settled on the couch in my favourite spot.
I’d viewed three episodes of an outrageously bad fantasy series, watching him like a hawk in every scene even when he was just in the background, when he reappeared, damp and shining, and took a second shower. He joined me for the fourth episode, cringing at his over the top performance and pointing out where he nearly lost his balance for real, and when he nearly broke character and laughed while someone was threatening him.
“I wasn’t so great back then,” he said, as I curled up against him, “but I feel like I’ve grown as an actor.”
“You were kind of chubby, too,” I pointed out. It was true: when he’d matured, his cheekbones had shot out and his jaw had developed ruggedly, giving him the striking looks I’d fallen in love with what seemed like a lifetime ago.
“Just baby fat,” he said, taking my hand and kissing my palm.
“Your eyes are different, too,” I said. “Much more piercing now. And your chin…” I stroked my finger along the cleft in his broad jaw, leaned in to place a tender kiss on it. “I approve, Cam. The puberty fairy must have liked you.”
“Once I got over the teenage acne,” he said. “I didn’t work for six months because I didn’t want to put make up on while I tried to get it fixed.”
I looked closer at him. “But it went away without any scarring.”
“I’m blessed. I have good skin – scars don’t last.”
“Your acting has improved since then, too.” I said it in a light, teasing tone, and was rewarded with his killer smile, slow and genuine and brilliantly white.
“I like to think so.”
Then I needed to go home to feed Bronte and change my clothes. Cam grabbed a change of clothes and then drove us, and I figured that he’d already seen me at my most vulnerable, and made me orgasm multiple times, there wasn’t much to keep secret from anymore, so I invited him inside and made him a hot chocolate. I also made a mental note to start buying coffee.
Bronte didn’t like strangers, so when she trotted around the corner to greet me and found a strange man in her house she froze, one paw off the ground, her plume of a tail lashing. I picked her up, my fluffy brown furbaby, and she pushed me away like cats do when they’re uncomfortable. I gave her a can of food, fresh water, and topped up her biscuit tower, then rummaged in my closet for something warm and appropriate to wear for opening night. I could do the woollen dress and knee high boots thing again – I had a red dress I loved but never wore much. If I paired it with a heavy jacket I could pull off the wool and leather look. It would do for the snow outside and for the cold auditorium.
I pulled the clothes out of my closet and turned, startled by Cam’s presence in my tiny bedroom, his opening
night clothes slung over his shoulder.
He chuckled, dropped a kiss on my forehead. “It’s a bit cosy, isn’t it?”
Considering my whole apartment fit into his living room, I thought it was a fair assessment.
We started to dress together, intersected with kisses and loving caresses, but soon we were distracted by naked bodies and heat and arousal. Our mouths shoved against each other and Cam wrapped me up in his arms. We didn’t even make it to my tiny second-hand bed. He crushed me against the wall and yanked my leg up around his hip, the better to get access.
“Wait!” I cried in my one moment of lucidity. “I don’t have any protection.”
He groaned and his head dropped to my shoulder. “Fucking god damn it, Tori, I’m so fucking hard for you.”
“I know.” I could feel him pressed all up against me. I trembled in desire and wanting and felt his thundering heartbeat galloping in time with my own.
“Tori, princess.” He caught my lips in his. “I want you so badly, but since we’re rational adults, I’ll make you a deal.”
I nodded, the only part of my body that I could move freely.
“Tonight, after the show. My place. My bed.” A mischievous glint sparkled in his eye. “Or the living room. Or the bathroom. Anywhere. Your call. Just come home with me tonight. I’ll make this up to you. You won’t be able to walk for a week.”
I nodded, gasping as his free hand strayed over my right boob and squeezed.
He groaned. “This is torture. What kind of a girl doesn’t have condoms?”
“The kind who never thought she’d be sleeping with someone she started talking to three days ago,” I pointed out. His lips lingered on my neck.
“I love you Tori,” he whispered in my ear. “Has it only been three days? I can’t believe it, three days and you’ve turned my world upside down. I can’t get enough of you. I fucking love you.”
It’s been a lot longer than that for me, I thought. I opened my mouth to reciprocate, but my voice failed me. Had I just said it earlier to appease him? What if it wasn’t true? I wasn’t completely certain I’d untangled the schoolgirl crush and the intense attraction for him as a mature man separately from my love.
