by F P Adriani
If he really was telling the truth, that left the two locations I now via-the-notebooks had seen the coordinates for: the one in The Astral Mountains and the one Hu had indicated lay beneath The Razor Grasslands. Both Clive’s and Hu’s locations seemed impossible ones to verify too closely. So that left The Astral Mountains one. That was where I’d have to go. Julianne had been exactly right that first day.
*
We were done eyeing each other suspiciously and acting threateningly to each other. Now we both sort of sagged against my car for support, Clive looking as exhausted as I felt.
“I can’t believe we spoke to each other like that,” he said, staring at me. “I don’t even know you.”
“This is stressful. We’re under too much stress and we don’t know what to do. So many changes in my life lately—my head’s spinning.”
“So what do you think I should do now?”
A thought snaked its way into my brain. “Actually—you know what? I know someone who needs a job. Get him one. At The Citadel.”
He frowned at me a little. “I’m not the Santa Claus of The Citadel. There are rules—”
“So work around them. I know you have some experience there.”
He sighed, hard.
I had another thought: this time about how unsafe it all was. He had a family; we had met now, which might have put him at risk. But then he’d been involved in all this beforehand anyway—surprising that he hadn’t been on anyone’s radar. I had a feeling he hadn’t been there simply because his dealings with TNI had happened several years ago.
Working alone, I probably couldn’t do anything very effective for him. I could barely protect myself and Julianne. Pathetic. I was supposed to be a “security expert,” but I couldn’t even secure my own surroundings. Plus, I wouldn’t be around much longer to take on anymore jobs….
I pulled away from my car, turning to face him. “I recommend you be more careful now. I’ll give you a name. Someone to watch over you and your family.”
His back lifted away from my car door. “You don’t think….”
“I don’t know what to think,” I said.
*
Once we were both back in our cars, he took off. And just as I was about to do the same, my portable rang.
When I clicked it on, Hu’s voice in my ear said, “We need to meet. In half an hour.”
“Hold on—what? This is unplanned, dangerous….”
“It’s important. Don’t worry about the danger.”
“But the damn police—”
“Don’t worry about it,” she said, her voice strangely shaking. Then I actually heard her laugh.
My mouth dropped open. I couldn’t speak. Then I felt mad. But before I could verbally express that, she started giving me directions.
Why I wrote them down was beyond me. But, in for a penny, in for a billion.
*
I called Tan, only I couldn’t get in direct touch with him, which meant I’d have to meet Hu by myself.
In my mind I rehearsed all the angry things I would say to her: that she was a nut, that she’d helped me get even more deeply involved in something I wished I could run the fuck away from, that she was a terrorist and a murderer, that I hated that she’d been involved with my boyfriend, and what on Diamond had I been thinking in agreeing to his coming with me—maybe he secretly wanted to see her again. Maybe that was why he’d suddenly been so keen to go. I mean—what the hell? Before he’d seen her again that night, he’d resisted going with me. But he’d agreed awfully fast last night….
All this shit was running through my head as I rushed to the remote Hu-rendezvous destination. I finally stopped and left my car. As my booted feet pounded through a patch of woods toward where a field lay on the opposite side, my indignant thoughts bubbled behind my lips.
But my indignancy never flourished beyond them: as soon as I stepped out into the field, I saw not only Hu and two of her people standing there, but Burroughs too.
For a moment I simply stood with my shocked feet stuck to the ground; then I almost spun around and ran back the way I’d come. But Hu spotted me. Her arm jerked a hard “come over” wave at me. Then Burroughs saw me too, and I had no choice but to move forward.
They were all standing near a gray transport. As usual, Chuck stood by Hu’s side, and there was another smaller guy I didn’t recognize. They all silently watched me now, including Burroughs.
When I finally stopped near them, Burroughs slowly shook his head and said to me, “So this is why I’m here. I knew you were lying about something. You keep great company, Senda.”
“Apparently, you do too,” I said in my most sarcastic voice. I felt freer to do this now. Clearly, Burroughs hadn’t been as upstanding a cop as I’d thought. He shouldn’t be here anymore than I should. That he was very worried for himself was obvious in the hard but anxious forward stance of his shoulders.
“I’m glad you both agree on my worth,” Hu said, nodding at the two of us. “And now that you see the situation, Frank, I’m sure you’ll do as I ask. And lay off it all.”
“But, Princess, this is a homicide now!” Burroughs said then.
I couldn’t help it: I laughed. Really loudly. Here Hu was, one of the most wanted people on Diamond, and here Burroughs was, a cop. And he’d called her Princess as if she were some special sweet person. This was hilarious to me. And I couldn’t stop laughing.
But Hu only frowned heavily at me now as Chuck dashed a murderous glance at Burroughs. It seemed Chuck didn’t like that “Princess.” I wondered about it myself. Unless I was mistaken, it seemed Hu really got around….
She said to Burroughs now, “I’m aware of your problems, Frank, but there are other problems you aren’t aware of—”
“You know what could happen to me if I got caught here with you? Prison. I must be nuts. I’m slipping. I’m getting fat. Why am I here? How are you involved in all this? I should have known you were.”
“Frank,” Hu said, motioning with her arm for him to walk away with her, “I’ll tell you what’s going on soon—I promise. I just don’t know everything yet. When I do, you’ll be the first I tell. I might really need you then. Could you trust me just this one more time….” As they walked away, her voice got lower and lower till I finally couldn’t make out what they were saying. But I could tell by Burroughs’ softening shoulders that whatever she was telling him was working some Hu-magic.
Unfortunately, I had to stand there with her two goons, who showed no signs of softening. Chuck never took his angry eyes off Hu or Burroughs, and the shorter guy beside Chuck had moved closer to me. He kept flashing me a hard let’s-fight jaw, as if daring me to run away or pull out my gun or something. I had no intention of doing either, though I really did want to run the hell away….
Hu and Burroughs were finally coming back. And now I heard Burroughs say, “You’ve got a week to work on whatever’s going on.” Hu began to protest but his next words shut her up. “Then this’ll be out of my hands, and I won’t be able to squash anything. It gets turned over to another district with a higher rank.”
“But that isn’t much time,” Hu said.
“I don’t think we’ll need that much,” I cut in then, and Hu’s cold brown eyes narrowed at me.
“Tomorrow,” I said. “Tomorrow we start.”
Now, Hu nodded.
*
For the rest of that day and night I had to move faster than the speed of light. Numerous things needed to be done before I left tomorrow on…I didn’t know what to call it. A quest? A trek? A lark? A crazy-ass fucking insane journey to the mostly unknown?
But there really was no time left to analyze the situation. Now that Hu had distracted Burroughs off my scent, the police probably wouldn’t be hanging anywhere near me. So I would be vulnerable to that other crowd once again.
Not long after I left Hu, I called Tan and told him that tonight I wanted to have dinner with him, Nell and Derek at Tan’s place; then I called Roberto t
o leave instructions with him about the business and about Jamie; then I went to see Julianne, who was as pale as ever but at least had the strength to sit up today while speaking to me. Unfortunately, I only had time to suggest to her that I’d found what I needed, and then I was running off again.
Things needed buying, I needed to read more from the notebooks, I needed to memorize from the notebooks, I needed to do maintenance on my weapons, I needed to pack stuff for both me and Tan. I also needed to eat.
Tan took care of that; he brought home some precooked meals from the supermarket, and he made a huge salad. Nell and Derek showed up soon after, and we all sat at the table and began eating the simple dinner.
Tan apologized for the precooked food, making Nell laugh. “Tan, we didn’t expect a gourmet meal! Thank you for inviting us. Though I thought we were here for something else.” Her curious dark brow crossed at me now.
I hesitated to speak. This would be hard. Everyone was staring at me, including Tan. When I’d phoned him earlier, I’d not had time to brief him on my day’s events; I’d only told him that we’d be leaving tomorrow….
I finally began talking. I explained that I’d be gone for days. I explained why. I explained about the notebooks. And the more I explained, the worse I felt. I watched my friends faces go from food-sated to deflated. I watched their mouths sink into their faces. I watched Nell begin to cry and Derek begin to make fists against the table—and Tan close his eyes and softly shake his head from side-to-side as if his simply doing that would make it all go away.
“No, Pia! No!” Nell finally insisted through her tears when I’d stopped speaking. “That just can’t happen. The planet held together—what? The life inside me—should I tell my family—should we all leave Diamond? Oh Pia…tell me what to do….”
Before I could speak, Derek pulled her to him till her crying face was pressed into his neck. Then he said in an anxious voice, “That’s it then—we should all go tomorrow and help. This affects us all.”
“No,” I said fast. “You two take care of each other right here. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I didn’t even want to tell you this. I only did to show you how serious it is, to please be aware. And I wanted you to hear this from me. I’m not just running off with crazy people. I want you to know that, just in case.”
Just in case something went wrong. And it could go wrong in so many goddamn ways.
Nell lifted her head from Derek’s shoulder. “But what can you possibly do? And how will we know if it’s safe here—at any time everything could be destroyed….”
“That was always the case, Nell-baby. That’s life,” Derek said, kissing her on the top of her head.
Nell sniffled. “No, it’s not like that everywhere. This is Diamond. I just don’t know what to do…will you contact us, Pia? Tan? How will we know where you are?”
“You probably won’t,” I said. “We won’t be able to tell you that. Don’t forget who we’ll be with….”
Tan hadn’t spoken the whole time the rest of us had, and now Nell flashed him a look. He glanced back at her; then he laid his right elbow on the table and pressed his forehead against his shaking palm.
“Please, both of you,” Nell said then, “please take care of yourselves, and please take care of Diamond.”
*
Nell’s bad mental state just wouldn’t improve; I told Derek he should take her home. She started crying again then, asking me if she’d ever see me again.
“I certainly hope so,” I told her, smiling in a humor-filled way, trying to make her feel better, even while I felt terrible myself.
After the two of them had gone, Tan and I got to work around the house, readying our selves and our lives for the trek. As we moved, he asked me questions and I talked technical about how we were traveling (by transport), where we were traveling to (The Astral Mountains), and what we were supposed to do (a giant question mark).
“Even if we find this place, what the hell can we do about it?” Tan asked me, which was precisely the problem I had with the whole situation.
I said slowly now, “I’m hoping she’ll have some answers for that.” I watched his face. “But let’s see what’s actually there first. The notebooks don’t go into too many details. They mostly talked about a physical force. But inside the space, Amy said it would speak for itself.”
“So then she’s definitely been there?”
“As far as I can tell.”
“Well, that’s too bad. If we get killed, I was kind of hoping we’d at least be called the Firsts there in history.”
I hated that he was speaking this way. My mouth shook at him. “That’s a bizarre thing to say.”
“I’ve run out of anything sensible. The world’s totally gone off its rocker for me now,” he said, and then he strode away.
*
For the rest of that night, I tried not to think about the days ahead, I tried not to think about the dangers. But it didn’t work. They rushed through my mind, even when Tan and I were finally lying in bed.
We both stared up at the dark ceiling. And I said to him then, “I don’t think I’ll ever sleep well again.”
“That makes two of us.”
A long pause. I could hear his soft breaths. Then I heard his quiet voice, “I like that ‘two of us’. We work well together when things are going well.”
My head shifted his way. “And when they aren’t going well?” Which was, like, most days lately. And which would almost certainly be the case in the coming days.
“Then we work well together-squared,” he said now, surprising me.
I shook my head, laughing softly, and his hand closed around my hip; he pulled me closer till we were both on our sides and our bodies were pressed against each other.
“I love you. Just keep remembering that,” he said. Then his hand slid under my pajama top as he began proving his words to me.
*
The Main Moment was approaching fast.
We were supposed to be picked up in the same place I’d met Hu at yesterday. Roberto was supposed to drive me and Tan there—well, it was supposed to be only Roberto, but he ultimately showed up with Jamie in tow.
Jamie extended his hand to Tan then, but Tan wouldn’t take it, which annoyed me. But I didn’t hassle Tan. We were both so anxious. We hadn’t gotten enough sleep, especially after our much-needed strenuous sex session.
We began the final preparations needed for leaving the house; then we loaded our stuff into Roberto’s car.
At one point Tan went back into the house to do something and Jamie said to me, “Damn. Your boyfriend only just met me and already he hates me.”
“It’ll pass,” I told him. “Tan can be pretty goddamn grumpy.”
Now Jamie laughed a little. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“It’s the hotel room on Hera,” I said.
Jamie’s dark eyes just stared at me.
“You could fix that,” I added, pointedly eyeing him back.
When Tan came outside again, Jamie said to him, “You know, Tan, Pia told me a lot about you. How you started in the security academy here and worked your way up into a great security career.” I had told Jamie no such thing; Roberto must have. I glanced at him but he was bent into the car rearranging our bags.
My eyes moved to Tan again. His face hadn’t softened but at least he didn’t look any grumpier as Jamie continued talking.
One thing about Jamie: apparently because of his languages gift, he was also good at small talk. He made some about our Heran adventures. Then he said in a relieved voice, “I’m glad we both got out of that nightmare in one piece.” Tan slowly nodded in agreement then. “I just don’t know about my mom.” Jamie was frowning now, and this time it didn’t at all seem like an act. “Yesterday I contacted the home and they said she’s okay. But I still don’t know about leaving her….”
“By the time this week’s over, you might be glad she’s there,” Tan said cryptically then.
Jamie just
flashed him a confused frown; I hadn’t informed Jamie of the risks here. And I certainly wasn’t going to do that now.
“It’s time to get going,” I said.
*
A few minutes later when we were seated in the back of Roberto’s car, I told Jamie, “I should be able to line up a job for you.” Provided I survive these next days, I added in my mind. I had a feeling that would become my new punctuation to every sentence.
In the front seat, Tan’s head shifted our way for an instant.
Jamie sat forward a bit, grinning at me. “Wow—thanks so much, Pia!”
“Well, nothing definite yet, but we’ll see. Roberto says you’re really handy. Right, Roberto?”
Roberto’s nodding head shifted my way as he said, “Mm-hm, yep.”
But Jamie didn’t seem to notice my little exchange with Roberto; Jamie’s eyes were fixed out his side window, at something only he knew. “You’ve got to be handy when you’re mostly on your own.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” I replied.
*
I made Roberto stop before we got too near the pick-up spot; Tan and I would go the rest of the way on foot.
Tan took our two big bags and our one suitcase out of the car, and I took my usual special case, which I had strapped to my back inside a larger backpack. We said our goodbyes. And then we headed for the woods.
It was pretty warm out that day, and with the heavy bags, the walk seemed longer than yesterday’s, the distance longer.
“We should have asked her for door-to-door service,” Tan said dryly, breathing a little heavily.
