by F P Adriani
A comfortable silence floating between us now, we continued watching the birds doing their splashing-and-swimming-and-eating bird-things. The air was warm, the Sun strong, and the colorful ducks seemed even happier than the two of us. They also seemed to be unaware us, which I thought was a good thing.
Tan finally lowered his camera. “One thing I don’t understand: some of the areas we passed were fenced. But here we can just walk across out of the Domesticated area.”
“Well,” I said, “they can’t put fences everywhere, and they can be dangerous for animals. There are sensors along all the edges and everything’s watched by satellite.”
“So, it’s almost like people are in prison then.”
“Hardly. There are tours and scientists and other workers get permission to go into the Wild Acres. You’ve just got to be authorized so there’s a record. If you step too far over without authorization, you get fined; if you keep doing it, you’ll eventually be jailed. Occasionally some sick people still go into there to do nasty shit, but they don’t get away with it for long.”
His head bobbed around, to behind us too. “But how come no animals come in this direction?”
“They do, quite often. Sometimes they’re trapped and brought back to the Wild. But I think…I think many of them have learned to stay away. Bugs and birds are tougher—they can just fly anywhere, and they fly in here a lot.” I glanced at him. “If you want to go on a tour tomorrow, we might have time. I think you’d like it.” I began feeling a bit depressed now as my mind started touching on a lot of things that had always troubled me about the Earth. “It’s still beautiful out there; I mean the wild half still contains a lot of beauty. Some people say half the planet for one species is too much. How much goddamn space do we need? We shouldn’t need so much. But then it’s the fault of the people who just don’t know how to control their numbers. We still keep periodically overpopulating; it’s disgusting really. Other species control their numbers. Why the hell don’t we?”
“Why the hell don’t we do a lot of things,” Tan said then in a dry voice.
*
When we got back to the hotel again, we realized we were both starving, so we went straight to the dining room, sat down at a small table there and ordered several falafel sandwiches and a big salad.
When the server walked away, Tan said to me, “I’ve never understood you and him.”
I didn’t respond, but I knew who—and what—he meant. I felt my face warm, and there was some worry behind the warming….
Tan continued, “And now that I’ve met him, I really don’t understand it.”
My lips finally moved: “Do we have to do this now?”
“Yeah, we do, actually.”
I lowered my voice, pointedly looking at his face. “I had to deal with you and Arlene for days-long—remember? And you were involved with her a lot longer than I was with James. I basically had nothing with him.”
Now Tan growled, “I don’t like the way he looked at you. I know that look.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said fast, but it wasn’t a snap because a touch of concern had taken away some of the bite behind my words. “Adults have sexual pasts with others. It’s the way it is. And we’ve been over this before.”
The server suddenly came back with the fruit drinks we’d ordered, and I winced when mine seemed too sweet to my lips for my suddenly sour mood.
Once we were alone again, Tan said, “I didn’t think you went for older men.”
“I usually don’t. But James is our age.”
Tan turned very surprised eyes toward me.
And then I said, “He’s one of those adults that’s always looked middle-aged. When he’s old he’ll probably still look middle-aged. And then he’ll finally look younger than he really is.”
Tan began laughing. But I felt a bit bad talking about James like I had; I’d really just done it for Tan’s benefit. James was not unattractive. In fact, he was quite attractive in a this-is-a-very-serious-devoted-person way. And that was how I’d let myself get involved with him in one of my too-often weak moments where men were concerned….
Tan spoke again: “We’re like night and day, but who’s the night? I guess I am, with my dark hair. He’s so fair and tall.”
Now I sensed that he was getting to the crux of what was really bothering him. And it wasn’t the first time I’d heard this kind of thing from him and interpreted it as, “He’s so white. Why are you with me?”
So I said, “You’re the day of course, but even if you were the night, nights are often great. Don’t do this.” My eyes were still watching his face, which was frowning down at his drink. “Don’t underrate yourself or make us into a freak show.”
Now his eyes shot to mine. “Well, you don’t think people look at us like that sometimes? I know they do. What about Nell and Derek as a couple—same thing.”
“Do you really care that much what other people think? I follow my own heart.”
“Really? I thought you always follow another part,” he said, and his brown eyes fixed me with a double-entendre stare.
Now it was my turn to start laughing.
But then Tan only sighed. “I’m sorry, Pia—I didn’t mean to insult you somehow. Shit, I’ve got a white ancestor in my past—my great-great-grandfather. And you’ve probably got an asian ancestor. We all have people in common if we go back far enough. But, sometimes, like today in the office there, I wonder why I’m in your life at all.”
“You’re in it because I love you,” I said fast, and I was breathing harder now.
The server showed up again with the rest of our food, and I was so grateful she’d shown up just then that I felt like kissing her damn hands.
*
Tan and I wound up eating with mostly a silence between us; then we went back up to the room.
Before we’d left it, I’d sprayed the trusty polymer security coating for my office safes onto the hotel-room door’s outside edge. I examined that area now, but, thankfully, found the special membrane still intact; no one had come and gone in our absence.
I let us inside, and when Tan had closed and locked the door, I took off my jacket and my shirt. Tan looked at me with a pleasantly surprised face.
Then I slid off my bra and yanked off my right breast.
And now Tan’s face went from surprised to I-almost-had-a-heart-attack shock. He looked as white as the bedsheet beside him. “What the fuck was that?!? You’ve had fake tits all this time….”
I rolled my eyes. “Hardly. And that would have to be fake nipples when I still barely have any tits. You didn’t notice I looked bigger today?” From inside the rubbery prosthetic breast now, I pulled out a small-and-square metallic recorder and a wire-like tiny microphone.
“No, I didn’t notice,” Tan said then. “Your top was so loose.”
“Good. That no one would notice was the plan.” I dropped the recorder onto the bed.
“I wish you would have told ME the plan. Don’t ever do that again unless you want to see me puke again. It looked like something out of an old horror movie.”
“My god, you are a drama queen today,” I said, removing my other breast. “Oy…seriously, they were really bothering me down in the restaurant! But I was too hungry to come here and take them off first. And, ugh, half the time at The Headquarters—they were itching me badly then. I must have had a reaction to this new glue I tried. But I couldn’t itch them because I was afraid they’d get all crooked or maybe pop off right in the building. Now that would have been a sight.”
“A sight James probably would have loved,” Tan said in a dry voice.
“Don’t start that again. Let’s move on…I’m moving on, into the shower. This annoying glue.” I was picking at the remaining yellowy bits on my breast skin as I walked toward the bathroom.
Tan followed me. “I know we had the locators off, so is your boob what triggered the gate alarm earlier?”
“Yep. You’re picking up thi
ngs fast.”
He frowned, but at himself more. “I did have the month-long training-stint at that temporary camp they set up on Diamond.”
I slid off my pants and underwear. “And once you learn how to ride a bicycle….”
“Well, I don’t know about that. That’s why you’re supposed to help me out…. Can you?” The eyes he flashed me were sharply ironic.
“I’m thinking,” I said now, standing inside the shower as the cool water burst from the faucet above me, “that I don’t want you with me on Earth-Moon.”
His normally gravelly voice contained no gravel now; it was all deep raw anger. “Forget it. No deal.”
“But it’s too dangerous—”
“That’s precisely why I’m coming with you. I came this far—I’m not stopping now. You need me, so just admit it already!”
My soapy fingers scrubbed at my breasts. “But I could get someone else for back-up, like James said.”
“Yeah, I’m sure he’d love to be the someone else.”
“That’s not who I meant.”
“I know…” he said. “There’s one thing I don’t understand: if he’s our age—how did he get such an important job so fast?”
“Because. That job is his whole life. Last I heard, he was still living with his parents.”
Tan’s face looked as if he didn’t know whether to laugh or scoff; he went for a dual-effect there. “Are you kidding me?”
“Nope.”
“Well, if his personal life is dull, no wonder sparks were flying between you in the office before.”
My hand punched the water’s off-button. “Not those kind of sparks! I was working, Tan. Stop fixating on him. My behavior’s got nothing to do with James. I was trying to stay focused.”
“Come on, Pia. You had a goddamn thing with the guy! Don’t act like you never did. And you seemed to know exactly what to say to each other.”
“Maybe because I know him longer than you and I know each other—that’s all.”
“Sometimes that’s all you need.”
“For what?”
“For love.”
I rolled my angry eyes as I grabbed a towel from outside the shower. “Oh for chrissake. You’re way off-base here. Even when I was involved with him, I wasn’t in love. It was a temporary thing. I’ve told you: it started out of the blue; then it ended a month later when we both realized it wasn’t going anywhere.”
“I have a feeling you realized that, but he never did. And he still hasn’t.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“I hope I am, but I really don’t think so. Maybe that’s the real reason why he agreed to your coming back here.”
I didn’t respond…but I did wonder if there was some truth to his statement.
Tan continued talking: “And, not for nothing, but he knows more about what’s going on than I do! I wish you would have shared more with me about what happened with the V-person. In the office you acted like V wasn’t the only one involved—who else was then?” He must have picked up something from the UPG meeting earlier that he was speaking without using specific names now, and this was good. What wasn’t good: he looked mad still.
I smack-dabbed the towel along my torso. “When did I have the time to tell you everything? I haven’t stopped long enough to think much, forget about talk. And the less you know, the better.”
“No, no-no-no.” He rapidly shook his head, his dark hair shimmering wildly. “I want to know whatever you know.”
“You can’t! That’s why James gave us separate files.”
“Don’t make me steal a look at yours.”
“That’s why I’m keeping it locked in my case!” I snapped.
But now he laughed. “All right. We’ll do things your way…for now,” he said ominously, and then he left the room.
*
Naked and still a bit damp, I walked into the bedroom and rummaged around in one of my suitcases for my robe. I felt exhausted, by the spaceflight, by the UPG visit, and by Tan too, yes. My life lately had just been the definition of exhausting.
Tan was casually sitting on the rust-colored couch across from the room’s picture window; he watched me move around now, watched me slip on my powder-blue robe, and then he watched me put the mini-recorder back into my special case. “I wondered before,” he said, “about when you implied you were armed with something in the office. I wondered if it was a bomb.”
My head spun to his and I flashed him hard eyes. “You think I’d do that when YOU’RE with me?”
“Yeah, I think you’d at least consider the option. And, really, I didn’t know what to expect from there either. Being blown up isn’t necessarily the worst fate possible.”
“Well, I meant my boob, obviously.”
“He didn’t know that though.”
I really didn’t want to talk about James anymore. “Are you tired?”
I thought Tan’s sudden yawn would be his only answer, but then he said, “Yeah. Pretty much.”
“Too tired to work?”
“As in…?”
“As in, beginning a bit of training. If you’re coming with me, you need to be prepared. There are the files to absorb too, like on the ring.”
Holding up a palm at me now, he shook his head fast. “I’m not up to looking at them. Wait till the morning for that.”
I nodded, slowly, and didn’t press the issue.
We did, however, begin examining the courier job’s files.
I turned on the radio on top of a nearby side table; donning our special glasses, we sat on the couch together. Then I opened my file and removed a sealed, very-flat metallic box, and a brown envelope, which contained a nice amount of Traveler’s Checks.
I began reading the file’s actual text information on the courier job, and as I did so, Tan also read it, over my shoulder, while I alternately frowned and made annoyed noises.
“What is it?” he finally asked.
I pointed down at the page in my hand, at a section about the Miscellaneous—Dylan was his codename. “This. It says someone had tipped him to the ring’s possibly starting up again last year, and he notified the UPG. But James made it like he only just found out about the ring starting again.”
“Maybe another division knew about the restart tip-off first and didn’t tell anyone else—just like James said happened in the past.”
I was frowning now. “That could be, yeah.”
“So what will you teach me?” Tan asked.
On a sharp sigh, I tossed both my glasses and the file onto the coffee table in front of me. There really wasn’t much inside the paperwork; the job did seem simple, as James had indicated: I had to meet this guy in a specific bar and hand him the bound-in-metal material containing whatever James needed to give him but I wasn’t privy to. The bar’s name was familiar to me, but then quite a few bar names were familiar to me because I’d been to the Moon more than a few times. And some of those times had specifically been for pleasure….
Tan had removed his glasses and his dark eyes were staring at me, waiting for me to respond to him about the training.
So now I said, “I’m sorry I zoned out there…. Um—okay! We’ll start with something.”
And I intended to start training him, but just then the room-phone rang; it was the front desk with a message from James, saying that I should get back to him right away.
*
I went down to the hotel’s Communications room alone while Tan showered (with a gun in the bathroom, as I’d told him to take).
James was inside a UPG Communications room, and now he said to me over the audio-video line, “I was able to find out about that transaction for you. I’m not surprised: it was routed through Earth over to Diamond, but the money originally came from…an Earth-Moon bank.”
Blood was pounding behind my eyes, and, for a long moment, James’s pale face blurred before me. “Well, that’s no surprise to me too. So is there a name attached?”
“Unfortunately, no.
That bank allows cash-in and cash-out transactions, for people who don’t want to maintain permanent accounts because they’re traveling, etc. And this was a one-time cash-in—no sender-account on file, only the name of the receiver. This person knows what he’s doing.”
I sighed and groaned and had nothing to add because I just felt so goddamn fucked.
James’s face seemed lost in thought. And I wondered if he was thinking, She’s so goddamn fucked.
But then he said, “Look, I’m making another communication to D tonight, and I need to know your favorite drink.”
“What?” I was still thinking about the other thing, that someone who’d probably been on the Moon wanted to kill me. Who the fuck was it….
“Your codeword to him?” came James’s voice now.
“Oh, purple tree juice.”
“Still your favorite, huh?”
“Yes. Not much has changed.”
“Well, I don’t know about that,” James said, and he was slowly shaking his head. His eyes moved to somewhere below the video-screen. “Keep in touch when you’re there—let me know when the exchange has gone through.” Now his blue eyes rose up again. “And, watch your back.”
I snort-grunted.
And he added, in a softer voice now, “Don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything there.”
“Um, James, if you had more reach on the Moon, you wouldn’t need me to go and do this. What the hell can you do from here?”
“You’d be surprised,” he said.
*
Back in the hotel room, I found Tan dressed in his pajamas.
For cover, I put on the radio again and turned it up even more than the last time. Then I said, “You need to get dressed again. We’ve got to get shopping ASAP. Earth-Moon really is the key to what’s going on toward me. I was hoping somehow I could avoid doing this. But now I see that’s impossible, so we need some supplies for there.”
A frown changed his brow into a heavy wavy line. “Why are you so confident suddenly? What’d he say?”
