by Adria Wade
I just didn’t know. I didn’t ever know what to do. I was completely at a loss. It wasn’t until I walked out of the elevator on the main floor did I look up to be aware of my surroundings as I heard everyone carrying on somewhere. I wasn’t completely sure where they were at the moment. I froze. I didn’t want to see them. I was a total mess and I didn’t want to ruin their good vibes with my problem. I refused to burden them, even though they would understand. Something was holding me back. I could still feel my hesitance to open up about Tessa, especially on this day where I was overwhelmed with misery. It was swallowing me up whole and I just wanted to forget. I had to go. I had to get out of there before they saw me.
I took baby steps, heading toward the foyer and realized then that the chattering was coming from behind me in the kitchen and not the dining area. I ran and made my way to the door before anyone could see me. So I left Bram Manor in a sullen mood, anticipating the long hike home, hoping to maybe clear my head a bit. It was doubtful, but it was worth a shot.
****
Bottles of Corona lined the edge of the pool as I laid in my black and white, skulled bathing suit and floated around in my blue, floating pool lounger with a Corona in hand. The world was beginning to spin, but that didn’t stop me from bobbing my head to Trivium’s “Strife” that was blaring through the outside surround sound speakers as it drowned out the screaming in my head. My goal: to have bottles lining every inch of the pool, and I had a long way to go.
I needed company. My mind instantly wandered to Silas. He was good company and definitely amusing. He was what I needed right about now.
“Silas.”
I looked around, anticipating his arrival when he suddenly appeared. I laughed, absolutely amazed and blown away that my saying his name had actually made him show up. He really could hear my call.
He smiled. “You rang.”
“I wanted to see you.”
He looked down at the bottles near the pool. “A party for one?”
“Well, two now that you’re here.”
“A pool, beer, and one beautiful woman.” His eyes heated with want, and it called to me, deep in my stomach. “I’m liking it.”
“Come on in the pool. Wait, you’re not going to melt, are you?”
He smirked. “Really? Do I look like the wicked witch from The Wizard Of Oz?”
“You like the The Wizard Of Oz? You don’t seem like the type to be interested.”
“Okay, I may have visited a girl when she was watching the movie.”
I felt a sting of jealousy. “Oh, really.”
“Yes, really. Make sure you watch me now.” He gave that sexy smile and winked as he started to take off his clothes. And I did just that, my eyes running over his slim, toned body as I admired the view. He dived in the pool, his body soaring through the water as he made his way to me. I took a drink of my Corona as he popped up.
“I’m melting! Melting!” he said, in his best wicked witch voice.
It was so unexpected that I burst into laughter and my hand shot to my mouth as I choked on my beer.
“Oh, what a world, what a world,” I said, although his impersonation was much better than mine was.
His presence was already making me feel better. He grabbed onto my floaty to keep me in place so that I wouldn’t drift away from him.
“Do you always drink so early?”
I tensed. Where was this going? I wasn’t sure I wanted to find out.
“It’s only the sixth one. I’m having a bad morning, okay?”
“Well, good thing I’m here to make it better.”
I gasped as he flipped my floaty over and I went crashing into the cold water.
“Silas!”
I jumped on his back and pushed on his head, trying my hardest to dunk him while he laughed, but he wouldn’t budge. He gripped my arm and flipped me over his shoulder, and a shriek came out before I hit the water. I wiped the water from my face and wrapped my arms around him.
“You’re so mean.”
“Well, you looked a little hot. I was only trying to cool you off.”
He then kissed me, his mouth moving against mine, so sweet and slow, lingering before releasing my lips.
“Paige?”
I froze, my heart soaring into my plummeting stomach. I knew that voice…it was the voice from someone of my past. Silas looked past me, his face once cute and playful had now turned into a frown. I spun around and came face to face with Sean. Sean was here, at my home. I didn’t think I would see him again…ever. I didn’t want to. I was too ashamed of what I did. Part of the reason why I moved to Colorado was to run away from him. I couldn’t stand to see the pain that I caused in him, and now I was trapped with nowhere to run. I had no other choice but to face him.
“Hi, stranger.” He smiled, his eyes warm.
I tore my gaze from his, my chin quivering as my building sorrow was too much to hold in. Seeing him brought back too many memories; memories that tore me up, yet filled me with nostalgia. It was strange. I wanted to run away from him, yet run to him at the same time. I missed him so damn much, and I didn’t realize how much until now.
I swam my way over to the edge of the pool, sniffling as tears ran down my face.
“Hey, don’t cry,” he said.
I took his extended hands and he pulled me out of the pool. It was painful to see him. I forced a smile as I wrapped my arms around him and his arms, so thick and muscular, enclosed around me, swallowing up my waist.
“I missed you,” I choked out.
I could barely speak. It was like a hurricane on the inside; my emotions storming right through me where the pain was like the wind. It was so aggressive as it slammed into my gut, taking my breath away. I couldn’t let go of him, so I held him with all my might, hoping and wishing that he wouldn’t let go.
“Me, too. I should have come sooner.”
“Who’s he?” Silas asked.
Sean broke the hug, and I averted my gaze to Silas.
“Sean…my friend...I think.”
Silas rolled his eyes. “Oh, another friend, great.”
I shook my head as I tried to gather my thoughts, but everything was happening so fast and all at once. “No,” I choked out.
Before I could explain, he grabbed his clothes and stormed off.
“Boyfriend?”
“No—well, it’s kind of complicated.”
“I got your address from your mom. I didn’t expect to lose two best friends that night. I was so pissed at you for leaving without saying goodbye. You just left like I never meant anything to you.”
I took in a breath, forcing back my tears so that I could at least try to speak. “I avoided you because I was ashamed. I didn’t think you wanted to see me, anyway. I was the reason Tessa…” I trailed off. My building sorrow made it impossible to go on as my tears came once more, bursting out of my eyes as they ran like a stream down my face.
He hugged me once more, even tighter. It was exactly what I needed from the one and only person that I ran away from after the accident.
“I thought you were going to hate me…you should have,” I cried.
He pulled away, his brows knitting together, as if he was taken aback; shocked that I would ever dare think that he could hold hatred in his heart for me. “I don’t hate you, and I never will. I loved her, but you’re important to me as well. I couldn’t just shut you out because of a mistake that we both were a part of.”
It was a relief to hear. I dashed my tears away and grabbed his arm, noticing a tattoo peeking out from behind his sleeve. I ran my fingers over the beautiful portrait of Tessa.
“I got it a couple of months after you left.”
“I love it.”
“Yeah. Fake IDs can do wonders sometimes. It was a seventeenth birthday present to me. My mom hated it at first, but there wasn’t anything she could do. The deed was already done.” He shrugged.
I turned and went into the cooler, grabbing two Corona’s and handed him on
e.
“So, what’s up with the bottles?” He gestured to the bottles lined up by the edge of the pool.
“My goal was to make all of the bottles wrap around the pool and then pass out for the day.”
He chuckled and shook his head. “Nice. Well, it doesn’t sound like a bad plan considering the day. I could actually help you with this goal of yours.”
“You should. Maybe I won’t kill myself from all of the excessive drinking if I have you here to help.”
He looked down. “I usually spend my day at the cemetery. I take her favorite flowers, and sit there and talk about anything and everything. I couldn’t this year. I just didn’t want to do it alone anymore, so I thought about you like I always do and made the decision to come here instead.”
“I drink on days like this, especially on this day. The days where I can’t stand the thought of me even waking up in the morning.”
His sad, worried eyes found mine. “You’re an angry person, aren’t you?”
I took a drink of my Corona, hesitating before swallowing to savor the taste. “We all have our problems, right?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I guess so. It definitely changes people.”
“Are you still the life of the party?” I asked.
“I don’t party as much as I used to. Only here and there. My mom…uh…” He paused, sucking in a breath, worry and sorrow evident on his face. “She was diagnosed with lupus a couple of years ago, and I took a year off from college to help look after her. The muscle and joint pain can be too much for her sometimes. She does have her days where it makes it hard for her to function, and, unfortunately, her kidneys are starting to give her a fit. It gets a little hectic at home sometimes. I actually didn’t realize until now that maybe part of the reason why I’m here was to get away from it for a while.”
I wrapped my arms around his own and rested my head on him, hoping to comfort him. To watch his mother suffer had to be so incredibly hard, and to know that there wasn’t any cure for it, made it that much worse.
“I’m sorry. You came to the right place. We can run away together, and if you ever need to get away when it becomes too much, I’ll always be right here for you.”
“Thanks, Paige. It’s tough at times like this where I really miss Tessa. She was always the light out of the group. No matter what the situation was, she would always find a way to put a damn smile on your face, and I loved that about her.”
I smiled as tears stung my eyes. “She was the light to our darkness.”
I heard him sniffle, but I didn’t dare look up in his moment of sorrow. Instead, I let go of his arm and held him by the waist. I held him tight as I rested my head on him, and I could feel his chest shake with tears that he tried his hardest to conceal.
“Sean?”
“Yeah?” he choked out, then cleared his throat.
“We should let loose. You need it and I need it. We should forget all about the pain and struggles and have some fun. Let’s have a party. My dad has a cabin not that far from here. We can celebrate Tessa’s birthday and, of course, our reunion. What do you say?”
He was hesitant, unsure if it was a great idea, but if he was still the same Sean from three years ago, who was up for anything, then I had him hook, line, and sinker.
“Are you going to be up for it? You’re already tipsy.”
I snorted. “I’m no lightweight, pumpkin.”
“Okay then, I’m down, but I have no problem cutting you off if I feel the need to.”
I shrugged. “Okay then. I’ll send the text.”
“What, do you have a go-to party buddy or something?”
“She’s just an acquaintance. I met her through a friend at the last party I had. She’s apparently the go-to person to get the word out about parties.”
I watched him put away the last of his beer. “Party, here we come.”
Numbness, here we come.
Chapter Fifteen
Partygoers scattered around the expansive, luxurious cabin, acting wild and carefree as they carried on with their friends. EDM music filled the cabin as I danced in the living area with a group of people. Happiness exploded within as I let loose with not a care in the world and my stomach and chest, once heavy with grief, were finally numb. I was in my own little drunk world, and no one could destroy my joy.
I could feel someone watching me. Their stare was so effective that I stopped dancing and looked around.
He was lurking in the corner of the room, his eyes, seductive and dark, watching me as they called out to me with just one look. Silas was there. He was, without a doubt, the most irresistible creature I’d ever known. There was always that powerful, raw sex in the air when he was around, and all of the women drooled over his magnetic presence. His lust poured off him as it came creeping up over my skin, taking hold of me, and the sudden urge to have him grew. I went to him, stumbling over my own drunkenness.
“What are you doing here?” I grinned as I pressed my finger against the tip of his nose.
He grabbed my hand and smiled. “You’re drunk.”
“I guess this means you’re not angry with me anymore.”
I looked away for a brief second, not wanting to get so lost in his eyes that I couldn’t think clearly enough to even talk.
“I don’t like competition. I already have enough, don’t you think?”
“Sean is my childhood friend and that’s it.”
“Okay then.”
“I don’t remember telling you about my party. Are you stalking me? I think you’re stalking me.”
“Yeah, I’m the biggest stalker in the world.” He smirked.
“I believe it. You tend to show up out of thin air.”
He shrugged. “I heard there was a party, so here I am. I didn’t know this was your party, though.”
“Oh, right, I believe you.” I grinned.
His hands gripped my waist, pulling me against him, and my grin faded as his eyes, filled with lust, sucked me in once more.
“I was watching you dance…it’s sexy.”
My cheeks flushed as I smiled. “You’re always watching me.”
“You’re entertaining.”
He looked down at my mouth before leaning forward, and I parted my lips, while my stomach was flip-flopping, anticipating the touch of his lips. He kissed me slow and sensual, taking his time, and as he moved against my mouth, there was a coldness that chilled my lips and it spread throughout my body. When he pulled away, I grabbed my head as I fell into a dizzy spell. I sucked in a breath, all of a sudden feeling tired.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah, too much alcohol.”
“Do you want to sit down?”
The dizziness had passed, and even though I felt tired, I wasn’t so exhausted to where I couldn’t function. “I’m fine.”
“Let’s go in the hot tub,” he said, his eyes lighting up with excitement as they ran over my body.
“Okay.”
I grabbed his hand and led the way to the backyard patio, passing Sean in the kitchen, who was busy doing the beer bong while bystanders cheered him on.
The moment I stepped outside, I gasped and jumped back, bumping into Silas as two girls ran by naked and jumped into the built-in pool. I remembered then that Silas told me that he fed off sex.
I turned to face him and smirked. “Are you going to be able to control yourself with all of these hot, naked women around?”
His fingers gently glided down my throat, and I took in a breath, succumbing to the chill his touch had caused.
“Don’t worry; you’re the only one who has my attention.”
“Good. That’s exactly how I want it.”
I turned and began taking off my shirt, then my too short, jean skirt, revealing my bathing suit as I bit down on my lip to stop my smile from breaking free. I knew he was watching, and I enjoyed knowing that his eyes were on me. I looked back to sneak a peek his way, only to be met with the most sensual, yet wild gaze I’d ever
seen. I climbed the step to the hot tub and got inside, joining another couple, who were at the far end with their lips locked. I watched as Silas undressed, my eyes running over his chest as his shirt came off then his pants. He joined me in the hot tub, his hand finding my inner thigh as he took his time running his hand over me, caressing my skin.
“You have seduction down well,” he said.
“So do you, but of course, that’s what your kind is all about.”
“You do just as good as I do. Maybe we were meant to be.”
I resisted the urge to laugh. I wasn’t ever a fan of the whole falling in love and letting people in thing, so I definitely didn’t believe in fate.
“Yeah…maybe.” I shrugged.
He glanced at the couple kissing, his brows furrowing as he let out a breath of frustration. I could tell from the annoyed look he gave that something was wrong.
“What’s wrong?”
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
I scowled. “You’re so mysterious all the time.”
He huffed. “Fine. I can feel what they’re feeling. It’s distracting.”
“Really?” I was actually amazed.
“Yeah, really. I can hear their racing hearts and feel their pleasure. I’m sensitive with what others are feeling when it involves sex. I’m able to control it most of the time, but when it’s practically right next to me, the emotions that run through me are much stronger.”
He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath through his nose before opening his eyes once more. My breath hitched when I saw that the color of his eyes had turned red for a brief moment before the green took over. I was afraid that he would lose control and reveal what was meant to stay hidden underneath the surface. I had to do something.
I splashed water at them. They gasped as the water soaked their faces.
“What the hell?!” the guy yelled, glaring at us.
The girl huffed and wiped her face. Her upturned nose crinkled as she scowled at us. “Geez, rude much.”
“Go find a room,” I said.
“Seriously, you splashed us for that?”
With his mouth set in a hard line, Silas stood with a cold glare to his face. “Why don’t you do what she said and there won’t be any problems,” he said through clenched teeth.
