by Leo Romero
I sighed and patted his hide-like bark. “How y’doing, Gnarly?” I asked.
A face entwined within the trunk came to life. Two diamond-shaped holes within the myriad of lines on the bark blinked open, revealing light-brown eyeballs beyond like two giant acorns. A jagged line beneath them cracked open and turned down into a grimace. “Oh not you, again!” Old Gnarly groaned.
Aurora gasped, her hands flying up to her mouth.
“Good to see you too, Gnarl!” I said.
Old Gnarly grumbled to himself.
Aurora pointed at Gnarly. “Oh my God, that tree is talking.”
“Of course I am, silly child,” Gnarly said in an uppity tone. “It is only courtesy to respond when one is addressed, is it not?”
“So, you can hear Old Gnarly too, huh?” I said, more and more intrigued by this ‘siren’.
“Loud and clear,” she said.
“That’s good for you, my child,” Gnarly said. “You may learn a thing or two. My predilection for wisdom is legendary among the woodland folk.”
“Who are the woodland folk?” Aurora asked me.
I held my hands out to the sides. “Everything and everyone around. Nature. Be it plants, animals, insects. The earth itself. There’s life in everything, the Big Kahuna saw to that. Old Gnarly is the spirit of the woods. He’s seen and heard a helluva lot.”
“More than you could imagine, half angel. Although I’d greatly appreciate it if you’d refrain from referring to me by your asinine moniker. My name is Rupert Caruthers Braithwaite third viscount of Everdale. None but ill-educated philistines such as yourself refer to me as Old Gnarly. Pah!”
“Me and every other poor bastard who can hear this guy’s infernal whining,” I whispered to Aurora, who chuckled.
“What was that? Speak up now!”
I cleared my throat. “Nothing Gnar—I mean, Rupert.”
“Then stop wasting my time! What is it you want?”
“I heard there was a little melee here in the park the other night,” I said.
“And you heard correct. Those infernal bears were fighting those nasty vampires.”
I rubbed my chin. “You sure they were bears and vampires?”
“I know what a bear is and looks like, especially when it needs to scratch its back and begins rubbing itself up and down my trunk. Ugh! Disgusting creatures.”
“So what went down?”
“The usual fare when it comes to low-intelligence creatures. They fought for a bit, then they stopped. That reminds me. Now that you’re here you can do something for me? The scoundrels hit me with something and it’s been itching me ever since. Be a sport and remove it for me.”
“Sure thing. Where is it?”
“Round the back.”
I slowly made my way around to the back of Old Gnarly, keeping my eyes on his mighty trunk. I made it to his rear and yeah, something was dug into his trunk near the base. “Got yourself shot in the ass with something, buddy,” I told him.
Gnarly grumbled. With a chuckle, I bent down and yanked out the object.
Old Gnarly let out a small groan of relief. “Ah, that feels better, that thing was itching me rotten.”
I gazed down at the thing in my hand. It was a dart, like the sort of thing people used to tranquilize animals. I put it up to my nose and sniffed. The sweet aroma of blessed water swirled in my nostrils. “Holy water,” I said. “Never seen these before. Tranqs filled with holy water.”
“Why holy water?” Aurora asked, staring at the dart.
“Did I forget to mention the triads are vampires?” I told her.
“Must’ve slipped your mind.”
I nodded. “Well, they are. Cat’s out the bag. Imagine being a vamp and being shot multiple times with these. You’d burn to death from the inside out.” I looked around, rolling the dart in my hand while my mind worked. “The Russians must have created these and are now using them against the triads, and the two are locked in some kind of turf war over something.” I turned my attention back to Gnarly. “See anything else, Gnarl?”
“Apart from the crazies trying to annihilate each other on my patch?”
“Yeah.”
“No!”
I sighed. “Well, did anyone die?”
“Oh yes, they died all right. Mainly the vampires who appeared to melt before my eyes into the ground, their remains making rather unpleasant fertilizer it must be said.”
“What about the bears?”
“Well, they appeared to be getting the upper hand on the vampire vermin, and that was when the man with flames in his hands arrived.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Man?”
“Yes. He strode in, throwing fireballs around like it was going out of fashion. Highly disturbing if you’re a tree.”
That was our guy. “Was he aiming specifically for the bears?” I asked.
“Yes, actually he was. The bears were annihilating the vampires, before the maniac with the fire began blasting the bears left right and center.”
I met Aurora’s stare.
“What did he look like?” Aurora asked Gnarly.
“Oh say around Gabriel’s height and build. Wore a suit singed at the edges. Long, curly hair. Dark features. His eyes were like hot coals and the world surrounding him seemed to shimmer. Terrifying creature. But it was that fire dancing in his hands that was most petrifying. Before I knew what was happening, he was slinging and shooting fire around, missing me by inches. A horrifying ordeal. I thought I was done for.”
I rubbed my chin. Looked like our fire demon had near full mastery over pyromancy magic. Creating, aiming and firing fireballs and streams of fire with accuracy was something that took even a demon time to master. He was already powerful. And it was becoming more and more apparent to me that he was summoned for a very specific reason and that reason was becoming more evident the more I spoke with Gnarly. “How many bears died?” I asked him.
“Hmm, hard to say. Maybe three or four before they decided to turn tail and run.”
“And just to be clear, this fire guy didn’t once go after any vampires?”
“Now you mention it, no, he appeared to be working with the vampires.”
I took a deep breath and nodded, a smile appearing on my face. “Thank you, Gnarly, you’ve been most helpful.”
“Well, if it means you’ll do something to ensure that dastardly fire man doesn’t come back around here again, then I’m most glad to assist you.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll get him.” I looked over at Aurora who was busy twisting on her tiptoes as she gazed up at the top of Old Gnarly. Yeah he was a mighty old tree. A bit cantankerous, but hey, nobody’s perfect. I was about to conclude business and tell her to follow me to my bike when a squirrel scampered across the grass ahead of us and climbed up Old Gnarly. He reached the first branch, then appeared to begin nuzzling Gnarly’s trunk.
“What’s that?” Gnarly said to the squirrel. “Really? Oh yes, do show him.”
I watched the squirrel pull away from Gnarly’s trunk and hang there staring at us.
“My furry companion wishes to show you something,” Gnarly told me.
I glanced at the squirrel. It wagged its bushy tail on the air. “Oh yeah? What?”
“It’s better if you just follow him; I have no mind for such gruesome things.”
I glanced at Aurora. She shrugged. “All right,” I said. The squirrel immediately bounded back down Gnarly to the ground and scampered off. Me and Aurora both stood and watched him. When he realized we weren’t following, he turned to face us. He stood upright and appeared to put his hands out to the sides.
“Well, go on then, follow him!” Old Gnarly urged.
I shrugged. “Well, yeah, follow the squirrel! Why not?” I sighed. “Come on,” I said to Aroura, then walked across the grass toward the squirrel. Once he saw we were both following, he turned and scampered on. He led us to a deeper part of the park where the bushes and foliage were thicker. “Watch your step,” I said
to Aurora as I brushed past some prickly bushes. For a minute I thought I’d lost our rodent friend when I saw his head pop out from behind a tree. I followed him toward it, taking cautious steps, twigs snapping beneath my feet. “Where are you taking us, buddy?” I asked him, but he turned and used his tail like a hand to usher us toward him. “Okay, okay, keep your hair on, we’re on our way!”
We made it to the tree where we found ourselves surrounded by foliage. And then the smell hit me. A ripe, rotten stench mixed with something like barbeque. My nose twitched and I wiped it. I took cautious steps around the trunk of the tree and as I did, what old Rocky and Bullwinkle wanted to show me slowly came into view.
It was a corpse. A burned and rotting corpse. I stopped ahead of it, Rocky already sitting there on his haunches watching on, his nose twitching. Aurora made it next to me. When she rolled her eyes down to what lay by her feet, she yelped and grabbed hold of my shoulder.
I gave her a grim nod.
The Russian died while shifting from bear to human form. Half his body and face were singed black, what was left caught in the mid-stages of shifting. Yellow fangs protruded from burned off lips, one ear pointed to the sky like a pyramid. Matted fur covered his bulky bear back, but his arms had returned to human form, or at least one of them, the other nothing but a shriveled black stick. There was also only one leg remaining. The thigh was red raw, the calf a twisted, scorched mess. His remaining eye was already a feast for some worms, the other had burst under the intense heat, a white goo dribbled down his blackened cheek. His nose had melted under the pressure, the two wide nostrils of his skull exposed. Maggots squirmed in the chest cavity where I’m pretty sure he’d been slammed with a fireball.
Yeah, bear shifters were susceptible to fire big time. They were terrified of it. So a fire demon meant bad news for bears.
The acrid stench of charred flesh and rotten meat hit my nostrils and I almost gagged.
“Oh my God, that’s disgusting!” Aurora exclaimed, covering her mouth and nose.
I put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in. “That’s the world I live in, kid,” I said as I continued to gaze at the burned mess at my feet. Our squirrel friend cocked his head up toward me. I met his stare. His shiny black, pearl-like eyes observed me. I shrugged down at him. What are you gonna do, buddy?
He twitched his nose before he looked over his shoulder and high-tailed it outta there, leaving us alone with Mr. Corpse. “Come on, we better get outta here,” I said. “Leave the cops to find this.” And then call in Mulder and Scully when they couldn’t work out what the hell it was.
Aurora nodded. “Yeah,” she agreed. We both turned away from the mess. She shook off a shiver, then met my stare. “Where to now, Stone?”
“Chinatown,” I said. “Gonna pay an old friend a visit.”
Chapter 5
The day was dragging on by the time we made it to Chinatown. We needed to hang around till sunset, so I took Aurora to a restaurant I knew called Lucky Lotus that did great dim sum. While we stood at the counter and ate, I watched the streets, brainstorming as twilight arrived. The triads ran the Chicago heroin trade and had done so for forever. They very rarely entered anyone else’s turf, so what the beef was with the Russians I couldn’t fathom. The Russians on the other hand were more aggressive by nature. They mainly ran the various strip joints and gentleman’s clubs on the North Side to their rich clientele, with a bit of cybercrime mixed in. Beautiful Eastern European ladies being their specialty. If they suddenly decided that a drug like say, heroin, was more profitable than flesh, then they’d have no problem stepping all over the triad’s turf. Must be that hot bear blood running through their veins.
“So, are we here to kill anyone?” Aurora asked before taking a delicate bite of her dim sum, excitement flashing in her eyes.
I chuckled. “No.”
“But, you’re a demon hunter, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“So...aren’t vampires demons?”
“Not exactly. They’re lesser demons. Them and the shifters and ghouls and other such creatures.”
“What’s a ghoul?”
“A very, very old creature that masquerades as something much younger.”
“Mutton dressed as lamb.”
I grinned. “Something like that. The Yakuza are ghouls. Hopefully we won’t be running into them any time soon.”
“So, you’re not required to kill any lesser demons?”
“The Big Kahuna gives them passage, but barely. Lesser demons haven’t been summoned from Hell. Sure, the first of them most likely came from there, who knows? But they’ve evolved over time into what they are now, and spread their ranks in a more natural way. Vampires can turn people through their bite, ghouls with their icy touch, shifters by mating. No dark arts involved. They’re not a threat to Heaven as they cannot ascend there. Sure, if they overstep their mark, then we’d be sent in to clear house, but other than that, we leave them to their own devices. Besides, at the moment, they’re doing a good enough job of killing each other.”
“What do you think’s going on?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure. But something’s got the two factions all riled up. We need to find out what.” I gazed up at the swiftly darkening sky. The vampires would be rising from their crypts soon. It was nearly feeding time. I shivered.
I watched Aurora take another bite of dim sum.
“Mind if I ask you a question?” I asked her.
“Shoot.”
“How did Bogface trap you?”
She gave me a sheepish grin. “Promise you won’t laugh?”
“Scout’s honor.”
She rolled her eyes to the side and spoke in a quiet voice. “Cookie dough.”
My face scrunched up so hard I actually felt it. “Cookie dough! You actually fell for that?”
She shrugged. “Sirens have a penchant for cookie dough.”
“Penchant?”
“Yeah, you know, a weakness.” She stared longingly at the ceiling. She licked her lips. “Hmm, cookie dough. Sirens love sweet things.”
“Probably why they hate me so much,” I lamented. “So, lemme guess. Ol’ Bogface left a tub inside a magic circle and once you stepped into it...” I put out my palm and threw my fingers in to create a fist. “Next stop, the Netherworld.”
Aurora focused in on me. “Yeah, how did you guess?”
“Oldest trick in the book.” I gave her a knowing nod.
“Okay, Mr. Smartass, now I wanna ask you a question.”
“Shoot.”
“Why did you get kicked out of Heaven?”
“The Big Kahuna hates a gambler,” I replied with a sour face. “And I love gambling. Ran a card school bang in the center of Cloud 9. Started off small, but grew in popularity. Soon, I had a flock of angels congregating at my church of poker. I was warned to stop, but I couldn’t.” I sighed. “In the end, judgement was passed and I had my wings clipped. I woke up back in the apartment I used to own before me and Mia died.”
“Mia?”
“My wife. We’d been married barely a year. Lucy had just been born. Everything was swell. Married life rocked. I was excited to be a father, a husband. Poker night every Tuesday. And Thursday. And Saturday as well. Then, one night, it happened outta nowhere. Head on collision with a drunk driver. Asshole walked away unscathed, but me and Mia weren’t so lucky. The car I was driving was a cheap, crummy piece of crap. Literally obliterated on impact. Killed me and Mia in an instant. Fortunately, the fact that we were deep in love meant that we bypassed purgatory and the big judge, Death. That and the fact we were good at heart meant we went up and not down.”
“What’s Heaven like?”
“Amazing. Ethereal peace. No taxes. No politicians. No disease. Just an eternity spent in paradise with the ones you love. Which for me is Mia, and that’s why bagging that L45 means so much cause I’ll get to see her again.” I looked away, up at the sky.
Aurora took another bite of her dim su
m. “So, what happened to Lucy?” she asked.
I met her stare. “Luckily she was with the babysitter when we had the crash.”
“She knows about…”
“Not exactly. See when I got back to Earth, she was already ten. The Big Kahuna thought it would be a nice joke to have her there at my apartment waiting for me. Some kind of extra punishment. Think they scrambled her memory or something cause as far as she knows I’ve looked after her since birth and her mom died when she was a baby. She doesn’t know about all the angel stuff and demon hunting stuff. As far as she’s concerned, I’m just a bum who scrapes by.”
“You don’t enjoy being a father?”
“I probably would’ve if Mia was here. It ain’t easy being a single father. Especially when you spend your day hunting demons and dealing with paranormal weirdoes. Man, I can’t get my wings back soon enough.”
“But if you get your wings back, you’ll be leaving your daughter alone.”
“She’s a big girl now; she can look after herself.”
“Yeah, but it’s still not nice to be left by your parent.”
I took a deep breath, a sudden sadness swelling in my heart. I flipped a hand on the air. “She’ll be all right.” I gazed at the restaurants surrounding us with sullen eyes. Their garish lights burned bright, a stark contrast to the now navy-colored sky. I took a deep breath, washing away thoughts of Lucy being alone if I ever got back to Heaven. It wasn’t the time. “All right, kiddo,” I said to Aurora. “Finish up. We gotta go.”
Aurora shoved the last of the dim sum into her mouth and struggled to chew on it.
