by Leo Romero
“You’ll love it,” I said, moving down the rungs. I focused light magic in my palm and used it as a source of light as we went, the thin shaft we were in glowing as if it was daylight. As we moved further underground, my light magic began to dim. Light magic didn’t work so well underground, one of the drawbacks to being a light bearer.
Soon, everything went almost dark and the shaft seemed to go down forever, the sound of our feet clanging against the ancient metal rungs echoing all around us. Eventually, my feet touched solid ground. I took a step back. A dark tunnel leading off into the distance stared back at me. The light in my palm was now just a flicker, but enough to let us see where we were heading. I also noticed my trick of the light had faded off, meaning I was Gabriel Stone once more and Aurora was no longer on her paper round.
She made it down and stared from my head to my feet. “You’re back to normal,” she noted.
“So are you.”
“What gives?”
“Light magic doesn’t work so hot underground.”
“Oh.” She gazed about her in wonder. “Where are we? The sewers?”
“Not exactly. It’s the world running parallel to the sewer system. The Underworld and our Overworld sit alongside one another. This area is where the two overlap.”
“A magic world?”
“Kinda. This place is real, but there’s magic involved too. The Underworld exists, but at the same time doesn’t exist. It also sprawls out as you venture into it, a bit like the Tardis from Dr. Who, bigger on the inside than the outside. It’s surreal.”
She kept looking around her in wonder. She ran a hand over the ancient stone walls encasing us. They were speckled with pixie dust, which glowed neon blue and green, lighting the way ahead. “Wow, this is beautiful,” she gasped, gazing up and down and around at the walls.
“Yeah, isn’t it just,” I said, any beauty about the Chicago Underworld long lost on me. I looked back her way and noticed something else was glowing effervescent in the gloom. I narrowed my eyes and realized it was that talisman she had around her wrist. The weird all-seeing eye. It was glowing in the dark like magic fungi.
She noticed it too and lifted up her arm. “Hey, look at that. Why’s it doing that?”
“Hmm, I don’t know,” I told her. But, I didn’t like it. I always thought there was something off about that amulet, and now it was acting all funky once we got near to the Underworld. Not a good sign. Even though I was on friendly terms with the Underworld, they had beef with the Big Kahuna going back forever after he banished them to the darkness for insubordination. The Underworld was home for all the humanoid creatures, the non-shifters: the imps, the fairies, the goblins, the elves, creatures that weren’t demonic or angelic but just were. They didn’t fit into human society, and shied away from human activity, only interacting with them in a prankish kinda way, playing tricks on them for their own amusement. The Underworld kept their own counsel, not siding with Heaven or Hell. They could be bargained with, but should never be crossed. I personally liked to keep my business with them minimal, get in, get out, see ya later. The last thing I needed was a prankster leprechaun or an irate goblin on my case. They wouldn’t give me a minute’s rest. So seeing that talisman thing glow like that wasn’t a good sign. I hoped it was nothing to get worked up about.
Aurora faced me, her arms out to the sides. “So, what now?”
“Now, we go that way,” I said, pointing down the tunnel we were in. She peered down the tunnel, laying her eyes on the giant set of oak doors at the end.
“Oh,” she said in surprise. “I never noticed that.”
“That’s cause they weren’t there a minute ago.”
“More magic?”
“More magic,” I echoed with a nod. “Follow me.” I led her toward those doors, the pixie dust speckled stones all around us continuing to glow in multiple colors. My feet scratching over stone reverberated all around that tunnel, the stones glowing beneath my feet in various hues every time I stepped on one. There was magic here all right, it was all around. The atmosphere hummed and danced with it. It swirled on the air like dust, invisible, but pervasive, tingling on the skin like heat from the sun. Somewhere in the dark reaches of this place, magical creatures sang long-lost lullabies, a delicate tickle on the mind. The taste of honey and milk was on the air, clotted cream and burnt toffee, the heady aroma of soft vanilla and elderflower intertwined with the all the other sensations, jelling them together, allowing them to dance and sing a melodious tune across the senses. As I drew nearer to that door, the intoxication of the magic surrounding and binding this place began to overcome me. For a brief, weird moment, I was dancing a jig on pink clouds of cotton candy, while fauns played the piccolo around me, raising one hoofed foot after the other to the bubbly rhythm of the soft tones playing out of their instruments. I was in bizarro world.
I had no doubt Aurora was getting the buzz too. The magic would no doubt envelop her, send her on a dizzying carousel of otherworldly perception. The sights, the sounds, the tastes all fizzing along the neural pathways of her brain. It was a good job she was a mythical creature herself or she may well have gone crazy under the strain of such alien sensations, like what happened to the humans that were misguided enough to try and enter the Underworld or even worse, found themselves here by mistake.
I reached the double doors, where magic seeped through the tiny cracks of the finest, oldest oak, the various knots entwined within like eyes watching all that approach. There were no handles or knockers, just two solid doors, shut tight.
Aurora came and stood next to me. “So, how do we get in?” she asked, her eyes glazed and distant.
“You have to speak the ancient Fae words to open up the doorway,” I answered, my voice echoing in my mind.
“Do you know them?”
“Of course.” I cleared my throat, then in a baritone voice, I spoke them, injecting the correct lilt of the tongue. “Iridiun, plabum, salanius!”
There was a slight tremor beneath our feet, which evolved into a rumble. A loud creak of the ancient oak groaning like an old man split the atmosphere, and the doors began to edge open, releasing swirls of turquoise smoke from beyond. A serene light spilled out like running water. Aurora’s mouth popped open, that blueish light reflecting in her irises. Thin tendrils of smoke reached our feet, curling around our ankles like hands to pull us in. I faced Aurora and gave her a slight bow. “Welcome to the Underworld.”
The doors opened fully, bathing us in that turquoise glow, exposing the world beyond. The doors opened up right on the market place, the very place I wanted to be. Fiddle-like music and the gas of strange bagpipes filled the air. Voices shouting over one another in languages beyond human comprehension punctured the music. It was a mix of bird-like twitter and hog-like grunting. Stalls had been set up in neat concentric circles ahead of us, various humanoids selling their wares behind them. Food, ingredients for potions, magic spells, clothing, armory. All manner of humanoid denizen of the Underworld strolled around, perusing the wares on offer. Mothers dragged their children, oldies walked arm-in-arm.
The aroma of cooked food filled the air. A bizarre mix of charred donut and lemon-soaked fish. It was salty-sweet on my tongue.
A small pack of pixies scuttled across our path, chirping and tittering like small birds. In a flash they were gone, a stream of viridian-tinted pixie dust dissolving on the air behind them. Aurora lifted a hand toward the color, gazing at it in wonder. It dissolved on her touch. “Amazing,” she gasped, her eyes brimming with awe.
I smiled. The look on her face was priceless.
A goblin with smooth green skin and pure-yellow eyes scurried up toward us, a stick in his hand. He lifted it up, the multitude of giant bugs he’d managed to catch hanging off it like fish. He garbled something at us and pointed at the bugs with a stubby, taloned finger.
I shook my head. “Not interested.”
The goblin persisted, his garbles growing hotter. “Glug, garb, glug!” h
e said, which meant ‘buy, scum, buy!’ Yeah, these goblins really knew how to charm, didn’t they?
I pointed at him. “No! Go away!”
“Garb! Glug!” he blurted, his elongated jaw jutting out further, his bottom row of rotten and twisted teeth coming up over his upper lip.
I was about to pull out Excalibur to scare him off when the Gauntlet of Agony sprang into life, lifting itself off my thigh. I watched in bemusement as it balled into a fist and trembled on the air. It then opened up and began swatting the air, shooing the goblin. It seemed to do the trick cause the goblin got freaked. He upped and ran, looking over his shoulder every second till he disappeared into the crowds.
I looked down at the gauntlet. “Nice work, Hando,” I said to it. It seemed to understand and like its new name, as it gave me the thumb up before falling back by my thigh and delicately stroking my leg.
“Oh boy,” I said to myself, glancing at Aurora, who was busy being captivated by what she was witnessing ahead of her.
“This place is amazing,” she stated. “I can’t believe this is all going on right beneath Chicago.”
I nodded. “Yep. Been here forever too. I’ll give you the tour.” We stepped into the market place, the ground beneath us a kind of dry velvet marsh like the plushest carpet anyone had ever trodden on. I led her to the center of the market area where a throng of humanoid creatures were gathered around a tall troglodyte street performer. He was juggling a bunch of magic balls, all of them leaving multicolored traces on the air. At the same time he was hopping from one foot to the other in time with the music. Every now and then, he’d allow a ball to land in his mouth, which he’d spit back out into the air in a burst of iridescent butterflies, much to the amazement of the watching crowd. He spat out another magic ball which this time erupted into a shower of fireflies that buzzed furiously on the air, their bodies flashing different colors before they popped into tiny sparkles, showering the crowd like confetti.
Aurora gasped in delight and clapped her hands.
“He’s pretty good, huh?” I asked.
“I’ve never seen anything like that.”
“Ah, it’s all parlor tricks.” I looked around. “Come on.” I headed for the stalls. Most of them were run by elves. Dark elves, wood elves, light elves. Elves were mainly merchants in the Underworld, the most savvy. The most like humans in the sense that they understood that things had a price. We went past a stall run by a dark elf with bluish skin and gray eyes, her lips a thin slit across her face. Sitting on her stall were various glass bottles filled with different potions. There were green ones; blue ones; red ones; green, red and blue ones. Some had added extras like small rodents, pointed ears or tiny tails.
“Care for a potion or two, m’love?” the elf said to me, running her hand across her wares.
My eyes fixed on a urine-yellow bottle with a fresh eyeball sitting at the bottom staring right at me. “I’ll take a rain check,” I said to her.
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Hmph!” she said and looked away. Elves didn’t like it when you didn’t buy. But hey, I wasn’t in need of piss-pickled eyeballs right now. We moved to the next stall where there were frogs in buckets, eels in tanks and bats strung up, hanging from the rafters. Sitting in boxes and baskets were various dried ingredients. Herbs, flower petals, leaves, fungi. There were shriveled fingers and toes of different creatures, dried tongues, preserved entrails. This was the type of stall a witch might come to buy her ingredients. I watched Aurora as she gazed upon virtually every type of bizarre ingredient with an open mouth. For a minute, I thought she was gonna start bargaining so she could start a home brew.
I looked around. And then I spotted the stall I was after. The armory. I made a beeline for it, pulling Aurora along. We got there, just as the stall owner, a wood elf, was placing magic-laced throwing daggers down on his stall.
“Good morrow, Eldrin!” I said to him.
Eldrin lifted up his emerald-colored eyes to meet me. “StoneAngel!” he said with a grin. “What a pleasant surprise. How may I be of service today?”
“I need frost salt. Lots of it. And you got any aqua slugs?”
He stood upright and dusted his hands. “What are you hunting this time?”
“Fire demon.”
“Oh my. So, have you brought her with you?” he asked in an excited tone, rubbing his hands.
“I sure have,” I said with a grin, whipping out Bam Bam.
Eldrin gasped, his eyes widening. “Ah, by Perina! There she is indeed!”
He threw out his hands and impatiently curled in his fingers. I handed over Bam Bam before he exploded.
Eldrin snatched her from me and gazed down at her like she was a newborn baby. “Such a fine weapon, fit for an angel.”
“Hey, I’m the angel, sugar!” Bam Bam said.
“Indeed you are, my little marshflower,” Eldrin said back down to her.
Aurora gave me a quizzical stare.
“Elves can hear the dead too,” I informed her. “So can fae, imps, leps, gobs, in fact every humanoid creature in the Underworld has that particular gift.”
“Now, what caliber are you again?” Eldrin asked, cranking open Bam Bam and staring down her barrel, one elongated elfish eye squinted. “Hmm. Twelve gauge slugs should do the trick.” He reached down below the counter and pulled out a small box. He depressed a button on its top and the lid popped open. He retrieved a shotgun shell; it glowed neon blue. He stuffed it into Bam Bam.
“Oooh, sugar!” Bam Bam purred.
“That hit the spot, huh, Bam?” I asked with a wry grin.
“You betcha!”
Eldrin locked the barrel and handed her back to me. I checked her over, looking down her muzzle. A blue glow emanated from inside. I turned and aimed at the ground. I pulled the trigger. A hot squirt of electric blue ejaculated from Bam Bam’s muzzle with a squelch. The water hit the ground where it sparkled and sizzled and foamed like a geyser. A pleasant scent of roses and juniper berries filled the air. A few passersby stopped and stared, the dazzling light reflected in the pool of water captivating them. It soon evaporated, leaving a few swirls of steam to rise and dissipate in the air. The passersby shook off their temporary fugues and continued on their journeys.
I stared down at Bam Bam. “Now I’ve got the world’s greatest water pistol.”
“That water is lined with the joyful tears squeezed from the eyes of the pink pixies of Nethervale,” Eldrin informed me.
I shrugged. “If you say.”
“My water will hurt your fire demon, StoneAngel. Better than your blessed water can.”
“I dunno, Eldrin. Holy water is pretty potent stuff.”
“So is this!”
He almost looked offended. I held up my palm. “Okay, buddy. I’ll take some.”
“A fine choice. Now as for frost salt...” He began rummaging around through a basket on his stall full of different hued crystal rocks. He grabbed a blue one and handed it over.
“Thanks.” I took it and crushed the rock in my hand. It easily turned to powder. I rubbed it along Excalibur’s blade, which caused a harsh cracking sound as I went. The powder went to work, imbuing the blade with a thin sheet of solid blue ice. I held the blade up and turned it on the air. The powder had coated it well, both edges of the blade lined with that glowing neon ice. Thin tendrils of steam rose into the air from it like it had come straight out of a freezer.
“Brr, the cold is entwined in my very bones, but ne’ertheless I shall prevail!” Art said with a steely determination.
I was pretty confident this would do the trick. I imagined plunging an ice-licked Excalibur deep into his heart and sending him right back to Satan a broken demon. As I envisaged, my grip on the hilt tightened to the point where my hand trembled. Yeah, ice and water magic would work great against his fire magic.
“Yeah, this’ll do nicely,” I told Eldrin.
“Finest frost salt in all the Underworld,” Eldrin said to me with a sure nod.
>
“That’s why I come to you, Eldrin,” I said. “Your stuff has got me out of a jam or two in the past.”
“Now will there be anything else you require?”
“That’ll be about it for now,” I said, my gaze fixed on Excalibur.
Eldrin rubbed his hands. “Now for payment, I’ll accept—”
With my free hand, I reached into the inner pocket of my leather jacket and whipped out that bottle of Ambrosia I got from the Angel Guild.
Eldrin’s eyes lit up like stars. “By Perina!” He snatched the bottle from me before I could blink. Without saying a word, he frantically ripped off the cap and drank deep, his gullet bulging under the strain. In no time, half the bottle was gone. He came up for air with a massive belch. “Ah, such sweet, sweet nectar of the Gods,” he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and licking the residues afterward. A dreamy grin broke out across his green-blue face, his eyes turning glassy. “Many thanks to thee, oh divine one,” he said with a hiccup.
Yeah, elves just lurved Ambrosia. They’d literally kill for it. He quickly put the cap back on the bottle and whipped it beneath his tunic, his eyes darting left and right in case any of the other elves spotted it. That would probably cause a riot.
“I’ll save the rest for later,” he declared, a sheepish look on his face.
“We good?” I asked him.
“Oh yes, StoneAngel. We are very, very good. Please stop by again some time, especially if you have more of this fine nectar.” He patted the bulge beneath his tunic.
I rolled my eyes and glanced at Aurora. She was reaching over Eldrin’s stall for a charcoal-salt-tipped shuriken, causing her sleeve to roll up, exposing that talisman she wore on her wrist. I noticed it was glowing even harder. Man, what is up with that thing?
Eldrin’s eyes flicked toward it. The moment they did, he gasped so hard he made a croaking noise and his eyes almost popped out of his skull. “The royal insignia!” he bellowed, pointing at her wrist like it was a zombie.
I frowned. The what? Oh, you gotta be kidding!
Aurora lifted up her wrist and glared at the talisman. It was now glowing so hard it was almost blinding. I put a hand over my eyes to protect them from the glare.
