by Leo Romero
I turned to see him some way back. “Come on, Shay, or we’ll lose her!”
“I’m...coming...” he panted as he ran.
Vanya was up ahead, racing along, her gangly legs offering her a huge stride. It wasn’t easy to keep up. She still gripped her head like it was about to explode. Those bells must’ve been driving her nuts. She made a sharp right, then a left, and then straight on. I kept on her tail, my chest burning. I prayed that she knew where she was going. If she didn’t, we’d end up going around in circles.
Come on, crazy elf, don’t let me down.
She whipped down another tunnel and I almost lost track of her. I looked behind me. Seamus was struggling to keep up. He was panting and huffing. I couldn’t lose him either. I needed to keep both in my sights. I found myself running along sideways, my head spinning left and right to keep an eye on both of them. All the while, my chest burned.
Vanya disappeared into the darkness of a tunnel on the right. I was about to dive in after her, when I realized Seamus wasn’t behind me any longer. Oh boy...
I bounced on my heels. I looked ahead into the darkness of the tunnel Vanya darted into, then back at the tunnel we’d just left that Seamus should’ve emerged from. Do I carry on after her, or go back and get Seamus? Oh man, I had to make a snap decision. I decided to run back after the lep, a surge of rage blinding me. I stormed back into the darkness to find Seamus staggering along, gripping his chest.
“I think I’m going to die!” he said, reaching out with his free hand to balance himself on the wall.
“You’re gonna die, all right!” I raged. “Cause I’m gonna kill you!”
His eyes flashed with fear.
I grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him up into my arms. “We lost the elf now!” I sneered down at him.
“I’m...I’m sorry, Gabriel,” he said up at me in a pathetic voice. “I tried me best.”
I grunted and began bounding back the way I came, holding the lep in my arms like he was my bride.
“I’m getting old,” he whined from my arms, flopping back like he was on the brink of death. “Me limbs aren’t what they used to be.”
“You won’t have any limbs left once I’m done with you!” I scowled, stomping through the tunnel.
“Don’t be like that, Gabriel. I’m trying me best.” He snuggled back in my arms. “Now, this...this’ll do nicely.”
I growled to myself, a snarl emerging on my face as I glared down at him. Lazy little so and so. Another thing Fishstink got right; maybe he wasn’t so dumb after all.
I remembered Vanya vanished into the right hand tunnel, so I took that one. I burst out of the darkness, gazing down the tunnel with eager eyes. It was empty. Great!
I dashed to the end of it. “I swear if we get lost I’m gonna break your spine,” I told Seamus.
He recoiled. “Ye don’t mean that.”
“Just try me.” I bounded along till we got to the end of the tunnel and the darkness awaiting us. I took a deep breath and jumped into it, praying we’d end up in a tunnel where our insane elf friend would be waiting. I emerged from the darkness, my heart pounding, my eager eyes taking in everything. I stopped dead in my tracks.
The tunnel we were in led to a set of stone stairs lit by magic torches. It was the way out!
Seamus’ chest collapsed in relief. “Oh, thank Perina,” he gasped with a grin.
The grin left his face once I dropped him to the ground. He yelped as his ass hit stone. “There was no need for that, Gabriel, you—”
I threw a finger up to my lips, hushing him. I gazed at the steps with wide eyes, wondering where Vanya had gone. I was sure she came this way, so she must have cleared the steps that led up to the ground floor of the palace. With the way she was running and wailing, she’d draw attention. But everything was quiet. I didn’t like it. But up the steps was the only way out.
“Let’s go,” I whispered. “And make it quiet.” I led Seamus up the steps, taking them one at a time, listening intently for any signs of guards or any other hostiles. As we neared the open doorway at the summit, I hugged the stone clad wall. There had to be guards around. I rolled my eyes up to that opening; mellow light filtered through from beyond.
I indicated for Seamus to hang back while I made it to the summit, my ears and eyes alert. I made it far enough to peek over the edge. I got a glimpse of a guard heading toward me, bow by her side. I ducked back down. After a few seconds, I ventured to take another peek. The guard now had her back to me, her quiver of arrows hanging over her shoulder. She was heading away. I scanned the area. It was a wide hallway, littered with fae guards, either patrolling or standing guard. Man, how were we gonna get by them all? Made me wish I was Batman and not Gabriel Stone. Actually, screw that, I am Stone!
My eyes darted left and right, taking it all in. Then, I spotted her. Vanya, the crazy dark elf. She was on her ass, pushed up against the trunk of one of those trees off to the side. She was grabbing the sides of her head and rocking back and forth, her teeth clenched. So far, the guards hadn’t spotted her, but she looked like she was about to blow at any moment.
My frantic eyes met the guards, patrolling the hallway. Then back to the crazy elf. Come on, baby. Keep calm. At least for a couple of minutes till I formulate a plan. Just a little—
Vanya leaped to her feet. “The bells!” she screeched. Every guard in the hallway spun toward the tree she was stood behind, their weapons raised.
Great.
They began approaching the tree, cautious, but ready to fight. Vanya waved her fists across the air, screaming about bells. She popped out from behind the tree, her eyes wild. She spotted the guards heading her way and took up an attack stance. The guards upped their pace, surrounding her.
My eyes lit up. The crazy fool’s distraction had bought us a few seconds. If we could sneak by behind them all, we might make it out alive. I whipped my head back. “Let’s go!” I ordered Seamus.
He bounded up the steps, just as I crept out into the hallway. Now, I was fully exposed, but every guard’s attention was turned to our elf friend. I tiptoed past them all like a thief, Seamus scuttling up behind me, spinning in fitful semi-circles. The guards rounded on Vanya, while she continued to wail and hop from one foot to the other. Me and Seamus sneaked past, the doorway at the other end of the hallway our goal. It drew closer and closer, my heart picking up pace.
In my naivety I thought we’d actually make it. We made it about a quarter of the way when Vanya pointed right at us and shouted, “The bells!”
A couple of the guards followed her finger, their stares falling right on us.
I froze, caught red-handed. “Hey,” I said to the guards with a smile, trying to act causal.
“Stop!” one of the guards ordered. Before I could say ‘froobiun cake’, they were on their way, their attention turned from Vanya to us. Oh man, it looked like back to the privy gaol for us. I spun left and right, looking for an escape, but there was nothing. I grabbed my head; I didn’t wanna go back there, no way. The guards closed in, their weapons pointed right at us. We were bang outta luck. Stupid, damn, crazy elf. Why d’ya have to have such a big mouth?
“Use yer cards, Gabriel!” Seamus cried out. “The cards!”
I looked down at my leather pants. Yeah, my Deck of Death! We were out of the privy gaol, maybe a connection to the Void would be unblocked up here. I plucked them out and grabbed the first one I could find. The king of diamonds. I threw it down to the floor. “Milos,” I shouted, summoning the beast bound to the card, my hot eyes fixed upon it. A puff of blue and red smoke erupted from the card, causing the guards to stop in their tracks. A section of the floor opened up in a neat square, a nasty, inky blackness beyond. From the Void shot a pair of fur-coated hands. They gripped the sides of the opening and the monster began hauling itself out. A bull’s head complete with bull ring in its snout emerged, its mighty horns gleaming under the ambient lights. It pulled itself from the Void with a bellowing grunt, air expell
ing from its nostrils. Its hooved feet popped out and hit the marble floor, its sublimely muscular legs following up. It pushed itself out of the opening and stood tall, well over seven feet of man-bull Minotaur. It puffed up its massive chest, its huge arms outstretched, veins popping out, muscles rippling. Its face reached the celling and it roared. The fae guards backed up, terror racing across their faces. They’d no doubt even heard of a Minotaur, never mind actually faced one. And boy, was this one angry.
It faced the guards, its solid-red eyes glowing, puffs of gray smoke billowing from its nostrils. A fae guard grabbed an arrow from her quiver, and fired it off. It hit Milos in the forearm. Milos erupted in a howl of rage and pain that shook the leaves on the trees around us.
Uh-oh, bad move. All it did was piss off an already pissed off creature. Milos ripped the arrow from his arm with a spurt of blood, kicked his foot back a couple of times and charged like a battering ram, his head bowed low, his tail pointing up. The guard had time to widen her eyes before she caught the top of Milos’ horned head in her chest. She flew through the air like a bullet, smashing into a tree trunk and sliding to the floor in a crumpled heap.
That triggered the other guards. They charged in, right as Milos stood upright to release another furious roar. Before he knew it, the guards were slashing at his mighty legs with magic-laced swords. Milos let out another howl of agony before sweeping his massive arms across the air. His forearms collided with the guards, scattering them like pins.
“Whoa,” I gasped, watching the mighty Minotaur in awe.
“Glad he’s on our side,” Seamus said, cowering behind me.
“Don’t speak so soon,” I said as Milos spun to face us. His eyes burned with hot rage, smoke flowing from his nostrils like a chimney stack. He bent over us and released a feral growl, his rancid breath a hot wind, blowing my hair back. He raised his fists in the sky, ready to bring them down. I winced, rooted. Seamus screeched like a schoolgirl. The fists were about to descend when a fae guard threw a fireball at Milos. It hit him square in the chest. He staggered back under the impact, his attack averted. I let out a relieved breath. Holy moly, that was close.
Milos shook off the blow and turned his attention to the guard who attacked him, a blackened, smoldering mark now on his chest. The guards rounded on him again and began fighting him with magic and weapons from all angles. Milos spun left and right, throwing punches and slamming his palms down on the guards, who were putting up a brave fight. Bodies flew around the hallway like birds as Milos went to work, swinging fists about like mighty pendulums.
The guards kept coming back for more, seemingly unscathed. I guessed they had some healing magic activated, or they’d be dead. It didn’t stop them from being staggered and stunned, and that’s what would allow us escape.
I grabbed the king of diamonds from the floor and raced through the throng of bodies, dodging swinging swords, Minotaur fists, and magic bolts, Seamus close behind me. I ducked by a fireball that whooshed past my head, just before Milos’ huge sledgehammer-like fist came arcing though the air.
“Look out!” Seamus yelped.
I saw it at the last second, swinging my whole body back. The boulder-like fist missed me by inches, slamming into a guard instead, sending him airborne. I continued on my journey, bundling past bodies, my heart smashing against my ribs. A guard tried to grab hold of my arm. I swung a punch, catching him on the jaw. He grunted and fell. I leaped over his body just in time, chaos ongoing all around me: panicked guards and Milos’ roaring. Vanya was in the mix too. She was running around in circles, screeching at the top of her lungs. She got too close to Milos, who brought his fists down right on her head. She caught the blow full on. She staggered around straight after, no doubt seeing stars. She shook them off. “The bells!” she shouted.
Man, this was crazy town.
We leaped over a prone guard’s body and finally made it to the end of the hallway. I looked back at the carnage. Milos was growling and throwing his fists around, guards lay sprawled on the floor, Vanya was still running around shouting about bells. I watched another fae guard get knocked out the game and knew the job was done. I raised the king of diamonds and aimed it at Milos. I muttered Death’s binding spell under my breath. Milos released another growl of rage before the portal to the Void opened up again. He was sucked in against his will, even though he tried his best to resist, the veins in his neck popping out as he grabbed the sides of the portal. He’d had his fun, now it was back to the Void for him. The Void sucked him in like a vacuum cleaner, a final roar echoing through the hallway before he vanished into the oppressive darkness beyond. The portal closed tight and everything went silent. I pocketed the card and turned to the exit. I raced through it, looking around. We were in Bracken’s throne room once more.
I pulled up, Seamus bumping into the back of my legs.
Bracken was standing there alongside more of his guards. And Aurora just behind them all.
“Gabe!” Aurora shouted.
“What is the meaning of this?” Bracken growled, hands on hips.
I spotted Bam Bam, Excalibur and Hando all on the floor by his throne. I’d have to come back for them. “I’ll be back,” I told them all: Bracken, the guards, but especially Aurora. I spun away to make a dash down the hallway toward the castle entrance.
“You shall not leave!” Bracken boomed. By the time his words registered in my mind, a purple wall of magic descended in front me. I hit it, getting a jolt of magicity, which is like an electric shock, but only with magic. You have to experience it to actually get it. I juddered for half a second, staggering back. I shook off the hum and spun my head around. Bracken was initiating a spell, whirling his hands around on the air ahead of him, his face contorted in a snarl. The air between his hands began to glow red and hot. Next to him, Aurora’s hands were covering her mouth. Bracken meant business and I might not walk away from the spell he was whipping up. We needed to bail. Now!
I fished out my Deck of Death once more and rifled through them, praying that the one I was looking for was near the top. I flipped through a few before the joker stared up at me, grinning inanely while juggling giant eyeballs. I plucked him out and cut the bottom edge across the air, praying Bracken hadn’t nerfed all the dimensional exits. To my relief, the air ahead of me tore open. Behind me, the whoosh of fire and crackle of electricity played over my eardrums like the Funeral March.
I threw myself toward that tear, grabbing hold of Seamus’ shoulder on the way. I clenched my teeth as our bodies flew through the air, just as a massive rumble sounded out behind us.
Chapter 12
We punched through the tear, right as a colossal bomb of energy collided with the portal surface. We fell out the other side, landing on a dank, stone floor. We both rolled away in separate directions, the portal erupting in blue flame that burst outward in a blinding halo. I shielded my eyes against it, ethereal wind rushing against my face. The joker was still clutched in my other hand. I immediately swiped it across the air, zipping the tear shut again, just as the forms of Bracken and his guards dominated it.
The portal closed and the world was dumped into calm silence. I collapsed back, staring at the stone ceiling and the cool neon glow emanating from it.
Seamus lay on his stomach, his cheek pressed into stone. “Bejeezus, that was a close one,” he said out the side of his mouth.
I arced my head left and right, my eyes falling on the mighty oak doors leading to the Chicago Underworld. We were back in the transitional sewer tunnel between it and the Overworld, the last place on Earth I’d been before switching planes. Good old joker card. Couldn’t getcha from Chicago to London, but was a first class ticket between dimensions.
I dragged myself to my feet, thanking the stars for my good fortune, hoping it would hold. I staggered out of the tunnel toward the rungs embedded in the wall that led up to the streets of Chicago.
“It’s good to be home,” I said to myself as I began ascending the ladder, my whole bod
y a pyramid of pain, every bone singing a sweet song of agony, my muscles twisted in knots like Old Gnarly’s trunk. I took those rungs one at a time like I was eighty-nine years old. I had no idea how long I’d been down there in the Underworld. It could’ve been days, weeks, it could’ve been minutes.
I reached the top and the manhole cover where I focused whatever light magic I could muster on it. The cover dissolved, exposing the outside world. I dragged myself up onto the road above with a groan, relief bombing in my heart. Boy, was I glad to see the dirty streets of Chicago once more. I almost wanted to hug that tarmac like a long-lost brother. I lay there for a while, sprawled on the road. My gaze fell on my Harley waiting over by the curb, exactly where I’d left it. I nodded in appreciation.
“Ach, been a while since I came up to the Overworld,” Seamus said as he pulled himself out of the manhole. “Still smells like crap.”
I chuckled to myself as I got on my knees and looked around. It was nighttime. The street was empty. I smiled. “So, how does freedom feel?” I asked Seamus.
“I’m still married, so I’m not free.”
“Come on, Shay. Breathe in that fresh air.”
“City air isn’t fresh air, Gabriel.”
“Compared to that cell it is, buddy.” I let out a breath. “Look, sometimes marriage needs a little kick-start now and then, especially after a hundred and fifty years.”
“A kick-start ye say?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“More like kicked to that curb over there, boyo!”
“No, Shay. I mean re-igniting that spark.”
“The only igniting I’m gonna do lighting the rocket I’ll shove up her ass when I send her away!”
I closed my eyes. “That’s not what I mean. Look, you must’ve seen something in your wife once upon a time that you liked.”
“Aye. A pretty face and a slim waist. Now she’s all old and fat!”
I shook my head. “I give up.”
“Look, boyo. All I want right now is me gold. After that, I’ll partake in a spot of drinking and gambling. Without the wife if ye please.”
