by Misty Malone
They met a few of his ranch hands that were also out walking. She was very gracious and genuinely glad to meet them, Bryce could tell. As the evening went on he found himself hoping she would get her memory back quickly, and that she was single and available. His growing feelings for her would be totally inappropriate if it turned out she was married.
***
The next few days found them all falling into a routine. Jane spent much of her time visiting with Lena while she helped her. They had become friends very quickly. Occasionally, Jane spent time reading or walking, but every evening she and Bryce spent together. She often asked if they could go through the ranch hospital again. She liked to follow the progress the animals were making.
She'd been there almost a week when Lena became concerned. She hadn't come downstairs until after breakfast, and wasn't hungry when she did come down. She wandered from room to room restlessly and went back upstairs. She came back down for lunch, but was quiet, and went back upstairs afterward.
Lena debated what to do. She'd asked if anything were wrong, and Jane had assured her she was fine. But Lena knew something wasn't right. She was standing at the sink, staring straight ahead, trying to figure out what could be bothering her, when Bryce came in the kitchen door. He saw Lena looking straight ahead, staring at nothing. “Are you worried about her, too?” he asked.
Bryce's words startled Lena and she jumped before turning to face him. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Are you thinking about our guest, too?”
“Yes, I am,” Lena admitted. “Something's bothering her, but I don't know what.” She shook her head. “Now, I'm sorry I was daydreaming. What did you come for? Is there something I can get for you?”
“I came in to talk to you. I thought something was wrong, and I came in to see if you know what it is.” He paced the kitchen a little while, thinking. “Maybe I should go up and talk to her.”
“Well, since we neither one have a better idea, I think it's worth a try. You two seem to have been talking and getting along well in the evenings, maybe she'll open up to you.”
“It's worth a try,” he said as he headed for the steps.
He knocked on her door a few minutes later and was a little surprised when she yelled, “Come on in.”
He opened the door and saw her sitting in a rocking chair, looking out the window. “Everything okay, sunshine?” he asked.
When she heard his voice she turned and looked. He looked gorgeous standing in the doorway, which bothered her. She had no business thinking such things, and that was very frustrating. She sighed.
Unfortunately, he mistook her sighing as not wanting to see him. “I'm sorry, is this a bad time? Should I try later?”
“No, no, Bryce. Come on in. I'm sorry.”
“So your sigh was not because it was me at the door?”
“Gosh, no. I'm sorry, Bryce.”
“Do you want to tell me what the sigh was for?”
“Why?”
“I have the impression something's bothering you, and I came in to talk to you, see if I can help.”
“Really, you came in to see if I'm okay? But I thought cowboys were always busy.”
“We are, but I'm concerned about you. Is there something you'd like to talk about?” He studied her a moment and reached up and felt her forehead. “Or are you not feeling well?”
“No, I feel fine,” she assured him.
“Then what is it? Can you tell me, please?”
She sighed again, and looked at him with a helpless look on her face.
He nodded, as if he understood something. “Frustrated?”
“Yes,” she quickly answered.
“Let's go downstairs to the living room. We can sit on the couch and talk a few minutes.” When he looked at her with a pleading expression and added, “Please?” she couldn't turn him down.
“Maybe that will help,” she said as she stood and walked toward him and the door.
Five minutes later she was on the couch and he was sitting in a chair across from her. “Now, tell me what's causing the frustration.”
“Remember the day I came home and I thought something looked familiar when I looked at the one pasture and woods?”
“Yes.”
“That's happened a few more times since then.”
“That's good, isn't it?”
“I guess, but I'm frustrated. I feel like I'm starting to remember something, but then I can't quite reach it. It's like something's on the tip of your tongue, but you can't quite get there. It's so frustrating.”
“I can understand that. Tell me when you've felt that way. I know about the day we came home. What else?”
“Well, this is going to sound crazy, I know, but I've been wondering about so many things.”
“That doesn't sound crazy at all.”
“Well, one of the things that I've wondered about is how old I am.” Bryce's eyebrows rose. “How old do you think I am?” she asked him.
“Well, that's a good question. I guess my estimate would be maybe 24 to 28.”
“Good.”
“Does your age matter to you?”
“Yes, but I'm not sure why. When I was thinking about how old I might be, it occurred to me I could be younger than I think and still be in college. That thought terrified me.”
“Why?”
“I don't know,” she said as she threw her arms up in defeat. “That's just it. It's like I started to remember something, but before the memory could quite take hold, it left again. The only thing I remember is that I didn't want to still be in college.”
“Hmm.” Bryce was obviously thinking about what she'd said. “Is there anything else you can remember thinking or feeling at that time?”
“No, not really. I just felt almost terrified when the thought occurred to me that I could possibly be in college. I had a very strong, bad feeling about that. I definitely did not want to still be in college.”
“But you don't remember anything about actually being in college?”
“No.”
“So we don't actually know if you went to college then, right?”
“Right. I don't remember anything like --”
She stopped mid sentence, with another far away look on her face. Bryce thought she was remembering something, and he gave her time. He watched as she stared into space, expressionless. Then she smiled. “What is it?” he asked, picking up one of her hands.
“I graduated. I don't know from where, but I remember holding my diploma, and feeling like it was a great accomplishment. No, wait. It wasn't really so much like it was an accomplishment, it was more like a relief, like I felt I'd overcome a lot to graduate.” She looked up at him with a guarded look. “That's it. I have nothing else.”
“But that's great! You've remembered something. I think you're going to keep having these breakthroughs. Right now, though, why don't you tell me about the other times you felt like you were starting to remember something.”
“Do you think my talking about it had something to do with my remembering it?”
“I do. Dr. Morrow said that often helps. That's why I wanted you to talk about it.”
“I didn't know that.”
“From now on, anytime you have one of these feelings, tell me. We'll talk about it. I'm sure talking won't always help, but it might once in awhile.”
“Okay. Anything that might help, I'll try it. It's so frustrating, not knowing if I can – I mean, I can't make any plans at all. You don't know how frustrating that is.”
“Plans, such as?”
“Anything. I don't even know if I can be your friend,” she whispered.
After a rather long silent spell Bryce finally spoke. “Honey, I think I may know what you're talking about, but I need to be sure. If I knew you were not married or engaged I would love to ask you out. I feel we could be much closer, but I keep reminding myself I can't allow that to happen. Not yet. Not until we know we're both free to pursue a relationship.” He sighed. “There, I
said it. It's out there in the open. Is that what you were meaning?”
“Exactly,” she said, looking at him. “I can't allow myself to have feelings for you.”
“It is frustrating,” he agreed. “And I hope we have the answers we need soon.” She nodded. “In the meantime, talk to me anytime you have a memory starting to come back. Maybe if we keep talking about them you'll remember more.”
“I hope so,” she said. “I don't know how much longer I can take this.”
He patted her hand, wanting to take her in his arms instead. “I know, honey. I know.”
They stood, ready to go about their business, when someone knocked on the door. Bryce left to answer it and came back moments later with Deputy Armstrong. He motioned for the deputy to have a seat in the chair, and he went to the couch and sat down with Jane. “Go ahead, Deputy. What's up?”
“We had a response from your picture on the news. A man called claiming you were his cousin. We asked a few questions, which should have been simple questions, but they didn't seem to be so simple to him. We asked who your parents were and what the relationship was that made you his cousin. We asked where you live and what you do. He seemed surprised by the questions, but didn't seem to know the answers. He fumbled around and said he'd have to check with his mom as to the actual connection. We told him when he had the answers to call back, but he never did.”
Bryce grew concerned. “Who do you think this was, and what did he want?”
“He gave us a name, which we're pretty sure was a fake name. We haven't been able to find anyone with that name. It put us on alert, though. I'm not sure what game he's playing, but we wanted to tell you what's happened. We haven't told anyone where you're staying, Jane.”
“Nor have we,” Bryce assured him. “All the hands know the situation and have been told not to mention to anyone that there's a lady staying here.” Without realizing it he put his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. “Is she in any danger, Deputy? Should we be concerned?”
“I'm not sure,” he admitted. “Until we find out who this man is, I'd stay here. I wouldn't be going into town or out in public.”
“Did this man who called ask where she is?”
“He did,” the deputy confirmed. “He said he'd go get her and take her back home with him until she regained her memory. I told him when he gets us the proof of relationship we'll have her brought to the police station, where they could meet back up. He tried to convince me to let him go to her and he felt sure she'd remember him. He asked where she was, but I didn't tell him. I just said when we have proof that someone knows her we'll bring her to the station.”
“Did he accept that?”
“He had to, but he didn't seem too happy about it.”
“Okay, thank you, Deputy. Keep us updated, if you hear from him or anyone else, please.”
“Will do.”
After the deputy left, Jane seemed uneasy. “It sounds like he's looking for me,” she said. “I wonder why. What did I do?”
“I don't know, but for the next few days, until we hear anything else, I'd like you to stay right close to the house. This was where we found you, after all, so if someone's looking for you they may drive by looking for any sign of you. I'd just as soon you're in the house and they didn't see you, but if you do go out, if you're close to the home, they won't try to kidnap you or anything.”
Chapter 5
The next day was difficult for Jane. She felt like someone was watching her, waiting for a chance to kidnap her. Her anxiety level was extremely high. She was way beyond simple frustration. She had so many questions she needed answers to, and she was tired of waiting. She wanted to know who she was and if she was married or free to have feelings for Bryce. She wanted to know what she'd studied in college and what kind of job she had. There were many other things, as well, simple things like how old she was, and where she was from. Did she have any family?
Lena knew she was very anxious and tried to calm her, with no luck. She didn't want to talk, and she just wanted to be alone so she could think.
She went into the den and closed the door. It was ironic, she finally had a chance to do some serious thinking about that strange comment he'd made about giving her a spanking if she didn't listen to him and she didn't even care as much about that now. She tried to force herself to think about it, hoping it would get her mind off what the deputy said last night. The only conclusion she could come up with, however, was that he must have been kidding. Spanking just wasn't done these days. Especially not to a grown woman. Bryce had been nothing but a gentleman, thinking of everything she may want or need, often even before she did. That didn't seem like the type of person who would do something so ridiculous as spanking.
Having thought about that, she was back to thinking about the news from the deputy. If someone called and claimed to be her cousin, although he didn't have the knowledge he should have, was he looking for her? And why? Bryce was concerned for her safety, wanting her to stay in. Why would someone be looking for her? What could she have done?
Determined to get her mind off the possible danger she could be in, she turned on the television set. A group of Amish people appeared on the screen, all of them dressed in black. It startled her, but she wasn't sure why. She looked away, not sure why seeing them was affecting her. When she looked back at them she had the same uneasy feeling, but again, she wasn't sure why.
Bryce came in for lunch, and when he didn't see Jane he asked Lena about her. “Bryce, I'm concerned. She hasn't wanted to help me at all this morning, which is fine, I don't expect her to help, but we've been working together and talking a lot lately. She wasn't interested in talking at all today. She came downstairs later than normal, didn't say or do much, including eat any breakfast, and went in the den. She's been in there since.”
“Let me go talk to her,” Bryce said. “She's frustrated, and I understand that, but I think Deputy Armstrong's visit last night upset her. I think she's scared. She still has to eat, though, and she knows when lunch is. I'll go see what I can do.”
He knocked on the door, and when he didn't get an answer he assumed she'd fallen asleep on the couch, which would explain why she wasn't in the kitchen or dining room, ready for lunch. He opened the door and walked in, expecting to see her sleeping on the couch. Instead, she was standing, staring at the television. There was a group of Amish on the screen, and a quick glance back at her told him something was wrong. She looked terrified.
He went to her and pulled her into his arms. She jumped, until she realized it was Bryce. “Sh, I'm sorry, sunshine, I didn't mean to scare you. What's wrong? You look upset.”
“I'm not sure,” she admitted, “but something about seeing those Amish was very upsetting.”
“Another memory trying to pop through?” Bryce asked softly, keeping his arms around her.
She didn't object to his arms holding her, and even snuggled in a little further. “I think so,” she admitted, “but I have no idea what it is. Nothing's coming to me, just this uneasy feeling when I look at them.”
“Well, let's talk about it a little bit. Maybe talking will trigger something.”
“Okay, we can try. Wait a minute. What are you doing in here, Bryce? Shouldn't you be outside cowboying somewhere?”
He laughed and kissed the top of her head. “Us cowboys take care of what's important to us. That's what we do. So I guess I am cowboying right now, sunshine.”
“But why did you come inside? Surely not just to check on me.”
“I came in for lunch, but I asked Lena how you've been doing, and after talking with her, I was concerned.”
She looked at him, then the clock on the wall. “Oh, my gosh, it is lunchtime. I'm sorry, Bryce. I should have been out there.”
“It's okay, don't worry about it. Let's talk about why the Amish upset you so much. Do you have any idea at all?”
“None.”
“Do you think it was the Amish themselves, or the background, or the buggy
they were standing beside?”
“They were standing beside a buggy?”
“Yes, but if you didn't notice the buggy I doubt that's what's bothering you. What do you remember about the background, what all was in the background, behind or around the Amish?”
She thought for several moments before shrugging. “I can't tell you what was in the background at all. All I remember seeing is the Amish all wearing black clothes.”
“Hmm. Maybe it wasn't the Amish that upset you as much as their black clothes.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Why would you mention their black clothes?”
“I didn't actually notice that I did, but since you pointed it out, you may be right. Maybe it was their black clothes that I'm remembering.” She thought for a bit. “But I still don't know why,” she said in a defeated tone.
“Don't worry about it, honey. It'll come to you. I still think it's good that you're having these little flashes of familiarity.”
“Yeah, I do, too, but I want to remember something. Anything.”
“Maybe after lunch we can go for a short ride. Maybe if you go past that spot that looked familiar earlier you'll remember something.”
“Maybe,” she said, looking a little more hopeful.
He escorted her to the dining room, where they joined Lena and Landon for lunch. They'd barely finished eating when Deputy Armstrong came to talk to them. “Deputy, my foreman, Landon, and my housekeeper, Lena, know everything that's going on, so go ahead and tell us all whatever news you have for us.”
“We had someone else call today, claiming to know you.”
Jane was instantly excited. “Oh, good. So, do you know who I am now?”
“Unfortunately, no. In fact, it's a little troubling, because this man was prepared with answers to every question we asked the other man. It almost seemed as though he'd memorized his answers, because he answered them exactly the same way every time we asked. But when we asked him other questions, he was stumped. For instance, he claims his father is your mother's brother so you're cousins and you grew up together. He had an answer for where you grew up, what school you both went to, what we'd asked the other man, too. But when we asked what your father did for a living, he paused.”
