‘So now you know. I am the child of a forced union and my mother doesn’t love me.’ Her voice sounded bitter and hopeless, even to her own ears.
‘Just because your mother finds it hard to love you doesn’t mean you are unlovable.’
His murmured words struck a chord within her and she turned in his arms to face him. ‘But no-one will want me here now they think me a traitor and even if they could accept me, I can’t live here any more. My sister will walk past me with her nose in the air and my mother will ignore me as she has all her life. I am cursed.’
He touched his fingers to her lips to shush her. The moonlight shone on his face and instead of the hard look she’d seen so often, there was warmth and tenderness there. ‘Someone loves you for you — and that person is me.’
Her heart slammed into her chest as he lifted her chin with his fingers. ‘Will you marry me little wren?’
Oh, Richard. For such a long time she had loved him and desired him and to hear his question filled her heart with wonder. But her chest deflated as another thought struck and she pulled back, uncertain, a deep ache in her breast. ‘You are not just asking because I find myself with nowhere to live?’
Richard chuckled and kissed her on the forehead, his breath feathering warm air over her skin. ‘No, my darling. I’ve loved you ever since you tried to punch me in the throat during training. You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to tell you but I couldn’t say anything until you had your pardon. There were too many risks and uncertainties.’
At last she could say the words that had lodged deep within her, words she had longed to say these past weeks. ‘I love you too with every breath in my body.’
He lowered his head and kissed her, his mouth hungry for that special intimacy. His beard rasped her skin and everywhere the hairs touched, a tingling fire started. She feasted and nuzzled into him as she’d longed to do, arching under his lips as he kissed the length of her throat. It was wonderful, elating and —
‘Richard?’ She leaned back and searched his face.
‘Yes my love?’
‘Did you say I have my pardon?’
He grinned. ‘I wondered when you’d ask. I received a letter from Peregrine yesterday. The rhyme was a code and the information on the statue told of army regiment positions and dates for a possible invasion of England. Needless to say, Peregrine is delighted. He’s looking forward to officially decommissioning you and Mallard is determined to cook you the stew he promised.’
An exultant wave of sheer happiness suffused her body and she whooped into the sky.
Richard laughed with her but then she arched her brow at him. ‘You only thought to tell me of this now?’
‘You’ve had such a lot on your mind with your recovery that I didn’t want to overexcite you.’
How well he cared for her. ‘I have been preoccupied. I’ve been worried about Eugene and I don’t know how I’ll cope when you go on more missions.’
‘You won’t have to worry. That mission was my last.’
She stilled in his arms, not daring to believe him. ‘I don’t understand.’
He sighed and rubbed her arms, warming her. ‘I’d already arranged with Peregrine to finish up after this mission because I need to go home to run my estate.’
‘You have an estate?’
He coughed and said apologetically, ‘I’m actually Sir Richard Clendon, 2nd Baron Haythorn. I inherited Haythorn Hall in Finglesham three months ago from my uncle who had no progeny.’
Good Lord. Her dark haired spy was part of the aristocracy. No wonder he had such command of the French language and diplomatic skills. And he had a grand house. Haythorn Hall no less, and here she had imagined an unkempt cottage. ‘But isn’t being an agent your way of accounting for your brother?’
Richard drew apart slightly and stared out to sea. ‘At first I admit I felt that way. I spread rumors in the villages around Deal to hide the truth of my involvement in the Nest and worked hard to deter the revenue officers from the area. It was interesting work and I made a difference, especially when I went to France. But I feel I’ve atoned for my brother and the joy of spying has faded. Always there are the discomforts of travel and constant danger.’ He turned back to her, his face serious. ‘When I met you I realized I would be happy to give it all away and spend my days at the estate with you.’
‘Will you really?’ she said softly. ‘Won’t you miss the men and the adventure?’
‘Won’t you?’
She shook her head. ‘I’ve had enough adventure to last a lifetime.’
‘Good. Because I want us to marry and have children. I want to watch our family grow as we grow old together.’
Her heart leapt at the picture he painted, yet there was something she had to tell him. Something that even now could make him turn away from her.
She pulled out of his embrace and wrapped her arms around her. ‘There are two things you should know,’ she said slowly. ‘The doctor who treated my wound said he’s not sure I’ll be able to have children.’
She bit her lip and couldn’t hold back the sting of tears.
‘And the second thing?’ he asked quietly.
‘I don’t think I can leave Eugene.’
‘You won’t have to leave him. You can be his mother as surely as if he’d been born to you. And should he be the only child we have, then we will rejoice and be thankful that he came into our lives.’
His acceptance of her condition burst open a light within her. Could she be a mother to Eugene? Yes, she thought fiercely, she could. If he would have her, then she would see that he never suffered as she had done, that he would know he was loved every minute of the day.
‘You would have us both?’ she asked, not quite certain he meant it.
‘Yes, my darling. You were right to bring him out of the hay shed only I didn’t see it at the time, and like you I’ve grown to love him. He’s such a part of us that to send him away would be like cutting off my arm. My good one.’
She hugged him hard with a slight, hiccupy chuckle. ‘You are the most wonderful man I know.’
‘Does that mean you’ll marry me?’
She laughed into the face of the man who held her heart. His eyes watched her, strangely unsure and yet comforting as they’d always been.
‘Yes, yes and yes. Richard, I love you more than I can say.’
A wide smile stretched across his face and then he bent his head and kissed her. His mouth ranged over her lips, his taste, his essence sending her blood soaring. Neither the moon nor the stars could cool their passion. Like a beast too long chained they devoured one another, their breaths mingling in the night air, their hands touching and loving without fear.
Then he spoke from the heart of all the things they would do and what he planned. Of the sights they would see, the spices they’d try. Only the hazel tree witnessed their promise to each other and here on the headland, in full view of the stars, she finally found her dream.
The sound of running footsteps came through the gorse. Eugene pushed through the bushes and spied them. ‘I thought you’d gone,’ he cried, almost with a sob.
He raced to them and Richard pulled him into their little circle. ‘We would never leave you and to prove it I want to ask you something important.’
Eugene looked up, his eyes wary in the starlight.
‘Adeline has just agreed to be my wife. Now I want to know, will you live with us?’
She inhaled quietly, her nerves on edge. He was the son she’d come to love and maybe the only child she’d ever have. More than anything she wanted Eugene to say yes but if he didn’t she would bravely accept his decision.
Eugene broke out of their arms and tilted his head on the side, his eyes intent on Richard. ‘Will I have to go on more missions?’
‘No. We may travel but most of the time we’ll be living in my house in Kent.’
Eugene’s face grew thoughtful. ‘Does your house have books?’
‘A whole library of
them.’
‘Will I be able to draw?’
‘I’ll positively encourage it,’ Richard said with a laugh.
‘Then I will.’ Eugene gave them both a fierce hug. ‘I already think of you as my new parents anyway and I don’t want to be a spy’s assistant. It’s too hard.’
‘There speaks experience.’ She laughed and kissed his head, thrilled beyond measure.
A brown owl hooted in the distance, its cry echoing over the hill. Eugene craned his neck towards the pine trees on the coastal track. ‘I heard the owl!’
‘Yes,’ she said, ‘and I’m pretty sure he heard you too.’
Richard chuckled and looked at her with aching tenderness. Her heart swelled at the promise and love she saw there. Her father had been right for her to follow her heart. To look at the stars and see hope. For they would always guide her. She only had to have faith.
For the last time on the headland, she kissed her fingers to the stars above and whispered, ‘Happy may tomorrow be, your nightly splendor soon to see.’
Then she took the hands of the man and the boy she loved and walked away into her new life, her heart soaring on the wind like the gulls.
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Acknowledgments
I want to thank the Word Vixens for their constant feedback and comments on this story. Madeline Ash, Sandy Spencer and Louise Reynolds, you have encouraged me every step of the way.
Louise, a huge thank you for all your expert knowledge about all things regency and for the editorial read. You taught me so many things and I’ll take them with me on my writing journey going forward.
To my beta-readers, Alison Hill, Clare Nash, Lea Nagel, Pamela Hill and Clare Wijsma, I want to say a big thank you for your enthusiasm and dedication. You were overwhelmingly positive and supportive about this story which spurred me on.
To my mum who instilled in me a love of historical romance (she still has her original full set of Georgette Heyer novels) and to my sister who answered lots of my questions in emails — a big thank you.
To the readers who have picked up this book, I’m truly grateful. There’s nothing better than fans who make all the hard work worth it.
To Jonathan, Hayley and Emerald, for whom reading is a life-long love and interest. May this one go on your shelf as well.
And to my husband Chris, my love and heartfelt gratitude. You have been there for me from the beginning and have championed my work endlessly. I’m more thrilled than I can say to have you in my corner as it’s so much fun to share this journey with you.
If you enjoyed An Unwilling Spy you’ll love
Book 2 in …
A Nest of Spies Series
AN UNEXPECTED COMPANION
Due October 2020
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About the Author
Janis Linford is an award winning author of Historical Romance stories who has always loved the magic of falling deeply into the beauty and action of another era.
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An Unwilling Spy
Copyright © 2020 by Janis Linford
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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