by Anna Jacobs
Nell nodded, not trusting her own voice. She did care about this poor child, but didn’t dare get too deeply attached to her, because one day she’d have to leave, whether the child’s uncle was her friend or not. She had to remember that.
The following morning Nell finished her main housework, then wrote a letter to her sister, Renie, telling her what had happened lately. When the postman rode his bicycle up to the farm, she had the letter and money for postage ready for him to take back to the post office. Hugh said postmen in the country often posted letters for you.
She watched the postman cycle away with a lump in her throat. Renie would be upset too when she got that letter and found out how cruel Cliff’s mother was being towards them.
‘Why don’t you come for a walk?’
She jumped in shock because she hadn’t heard Hugh come into the kitchen.
‘Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you. Did you get your letter off to your sister?’
‘Yes.’
‘That’s what’s upsetting you?’
She nodded.
‘Time to get you out into the sunshine. I’m a big believer in sunshine and fresh air when one’s feeling down.’
‘You mean, leave the housework and just … go out?’
‘Yes. I’ll show you one of my favourite spots.’
‘You’re coming too?’
He smiled. ‘Don’t you want me to?’
She felt flustered. ‘Of course I do. It’s always better going for a walk with a friend.’
‘And yet you walked for months on your own. How did you cope with the loneliness?’
‘I needed to be on my own for a while, to get used to … not being part of a family anymore, not having Sarah. I don’t think I’d have recovered if I’d had to stay in Milnrow and see the ruins of my house, or watch them finish knocking down Willow Court. And visiting her grave upset me. I left a stone angel to watch over her.’
‘I can understand that. I visited my fiancée’s grave at first. But it did no good.’
‘How did she die?’
‘Pneumonia. She was twenty-three, an only child too. So sad.’
‘Do you still think of her?’
‘Sort of. But she’s been dead for a few years, and it grows easier, more distant. Life goes on, Nell, and you can’t change that. You have to go on too.’
‘Yes. I’ve found that out.’
‘Right, then. Get your coat and walking boots, and we’ll be off.’
He took her along the upper edge of a grassy field and crossed another one full of cows. She hung back, feeling nervous of the animals, which seemed much bigger when you were close to them.
He took hold of her hand, laughing. ‘They won’t hurt you. They’re gentle creatures. Look at their eyes, how pretty they are.’
She’d never thought of cows as pretty and still didn’t really share his enthusiasm for them. Anyway, she couldn’t concentrate on anything with him holding her hand. It made her heart beat faster, made her feel breathless. How did it make him feel? Why had he done it? Friends didn’t hold hands. That was for sweethearts.
She tried to pull her hand away without seeming to make a fuss, but he kept a tight hold of it. When he gave her one of his lovely smiles, she couldn’t think straight.
They got to a gate and he climbed to the top, helping her over, then jumping her down as if she weighed nothing. They stood there for a moment or two, facing one another, bodies close together, saying nothing.
He reached out and touched her cheek gently. ‘You have beautiful skin, Nell. So fresh and rosy.’ Then he held out his hand in an invitation to her to hold it again.
She ought not to have taken it again, but she couldn’t resist. It was a relief when he didn’t comment, just started walking again.
It made her wonder … He couldn’t be attracted to her … could he? No, things like that didn’t happen to ordinary women like her. He was just … a big friendly man, unconventional because of associating with writers. He felt sorry for her, that was all it could be.
But oh, she wished it was more. And that surprised her. If she’d met a man like him first, she’d never have looked twice at Cliff.
‘Here we are!’
She blinked, then stared round. She’d been so lost in her thoughts she hadn’t noticed where they were going or that they’d stopped moving.
They were standing under one of the elm trees, the one highest up the hill. The countryside was spread out below them like a chequered quilt: fields and hedges of all shapes and sizes, trees and roads, a man riding a horse, a few sheep in one field, a few cows in another. There was a row of pretty stone cottages in the distance, which must have had gardens in front of them because there was a frill of colour along the front. It was too far away to guess what flowers were still blooming. Something red, she thought.
‘Coming up here puts things into perspective, shows how small we humans are, how big the world is, even this tiny part of it,’ he said quietly.
‘It’s beautiful.’
‘I normally sit down and feast my eyes on it, but it’s too muddy at the moment to sit on the ground. If I were staying at the farm I’d build a bench here, so that anyone could sit and enjoy the view.’
‘But from what you’ve told me, you want to move back to London.’
‘Oh, yes. Definitely. That doesn’t stop me enjoying the countryside, though. Besides, there are parks and gardens in London too, and it’s easy enough to get out of the city at weekends. But I love the people there and my work too. I miss things like going to the theatre or to museums very much.’
‘I’ve never been to the theatre or a museum.’
‘Haven’t you? I’d love to take you for the first time. Would you come to the theatre with me, Nell, if we were in London? Or go dancing? Do you like dancing?’
She could feel herself blushing. ‘You shouldn’t say things like that to me.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because … you’re my employer. And I’m not a loose woman.’
He grunted as if annoyed by this remark. ‘My dear girl, no one would ever think you immoral. And I’d never treat you that way. But I’m a man as well as an employer and I have feelings. Just as you’re a woman as well as a housekeeper. I’d like to get to know you better and I hope you’d like to get to know me too.’
She could only gape at him.
‘I mean it.’
‘Oh!’
‘If the idea of that is unpleasant to you …’
She didn’t lie well at the best of times, and couldn’t offer him anything but the truth now. ‘It’s not unpleasant, not at all. It’s just … a surprise.’
‘There you are, then. We’ll just start by getting to know one another and see where it leads.’
He didn’t speak much for the rest of their walk, but he smiled quite often.
And so did she.
Nell had expected to receive a letter from Renie by return of post, but when nothing arrived on the Monday or the Tuesday, she began to worry.
‘Your sister will write,’ Hugh said when he saw her looking anxiously at the post which had just been delivered. ‘She may have been busy.’
‘It’s not like her to wait. Renie usually rushes headlong into things. She’d at least have sent a postcard with a scribbled note.’
‘If she doesn’t write back this week, we’ll go up to London next week and visit the hotel where she works.’
We? She looked at him warily.
‘I need to go up to town on business. We can do both, and in one day, if you don’t mind setting off early. I’ll ask Pearl to let May stay at her house after school till we get back.’
The thought of going up to London – and just for a day – took Nell’s breath away. It might seem nothing special to him, but visiting the capital was something she’d never expected to do, let alone nipping up there for a quick visit.
The following day did bring her a letter. It wasn’t Renie’s handwriting but it had the name of the hotel
embossed on the back of the envelope.
‘Something’s happened to her!’ Nell held the envelope out for him to look at, her hand shaking.
‘Sit down before you open it. I’ll stay with you, shall I?’
She nodded, tried to steady her hand and slit the envelope with the nearest knife. There was one sheet of paper inside with the hotel’s address printed at the top.
Dear Mrs Greenhill
I hope you’ll forgive the liberty I took in opening the letter addressed to your sister, but since I’ve been receiving the postcards you sent her for a while now, I felt you ought to know that she’s no longer working here.
Irene left the hotel earlier this year without giving notice, taking only some of her possessions with her. We have a box in store with the things she left, and we’d be grateful if you’d let us know where to send it.
Yours sincerely
Eunice Tolson
Housekeeper, The Rathleigh Hotel, London
The room seemed to whirl round and Nell felt as if she was about to faint. But Hugh was there, kneeling by her chair, putting his arms round her.
‘Steady on. Just breathe deeply for a minute or two.’
She clutched him gratefully and did as he ordered.
He moved his upper body backwards a little to study her, but didn’t take his arms away. ‘That’s my girl. You’re looking a bit better now. Can you tell me what’s wrong?’
Her voice came out sounding croaky. ‘The letter. Read it.’
He bent to pick it up, sitting down next to her at the table and reading quickly.
She heard the sudden intake of air as he took in what it said.
‘Where can she be?’ Nell asked. ‘I can’t believe Renie would just go away without leaving a message for me. And why would she leave some of her things behind? She didn’t have enough clothes to do that.’
‘Who else might know?’
Nell’s brain didn’t seem to be working well, but eventually she managed, ‘She might have written to Mrs Garrett, perhaps? No, they’d have told me if she had.’
‘What about your father?’
She shuddered. ‘I doubt it. Only as the very last resort. Anyway, he’d be more likely to throw her letter on the fire.’
‘We’ll go up to London on Friday. Write a quick reply telling the housekeeper at the hotel we’ll be there mid morning and I’ll take it into the village to post. I’ll cut across the fields. I could do with a brisk walk.’
She wondered if she dared ask to go with him. She didn’t want to sit here worrying. But first she had to write the letter.
When she handed it to him, he studied her and said in his usual quiet way, ‘Never mind the housework. I’m not leaving you on your own to fret. Get your walking boots on and come with me.’
‘Thank you.’
He took her hand again when they were walking. He kept hold of it when they got to the village and she tried to pull hers away. When she looked at him pleadingly, he said, ‘You need the comfort and I like holding your hand. I don’t care who sees us.’
‘Oh.’
They called in at Pearl’s once Nell had posted the letter. Hugh arranged for her to keep an eye on May on Friday after school.
Pearl, who was sitting with her feet up on the sofa, looked at Nell with undisguised curiosity. ‘I’m happy to do that, sir. I’m so sorry to have let you down.’
He laughed. ‘I’m sure you didn’t break your leg on purpose, and luckily Mrs Greenhill was there to take over.’
Frank went to Bart Fuller’s house and was pleased to see that he knew one of the neighbours slightly.
He explained that he was looking for Bart’s stepdaughter, the one who’d married his cousin, and offered five shillings for any information about where Nell was living now.
‘Why do you want to know that?’
‘Family business. Nothing to do with anyone else. Do you want the job or shall I find someone else?’
‘I’ll do it. Or rather, my wife will. She gets on well with everyone round here. If anything happens, she’s sure to find out.’
That afternoon, when they told May what was happening, she stared at them in shock, then cried, ‘No! No, you can’t go so far away! Don’t leave me, Uncle Hugh.’
‘It’s important,’ Hugh told her. ‘I have to help Mrs Greenhill find her sister. And I’m not leaving you, just going away for the day. You’ll be quite safe at Pearl’s after school, and we’ll probably be back before dark.’
She began to cry and wouldn’t stop.
In the end, Nell decided that this couldn’t go on and gave her a quick shake. Sometimes kindness wasn’t the best way to treat an upset child. ‘Stop that at once! You’re being silly.’
May hiccupped to a halt and stared at her resentfully. ‘It’s not fair to leave me alone.’
‘Life isn’t fair, as we’ve both found out.’ She realised her voice was a bit sharp and tried to speak more calmly. ‘May, dear, I have to try to find out what’s happened to my sister, and I’ve never been to London, so your uncle is helping me. I have two sisters and now I don’t know where either of them is. How do you think I feel?’ Her voice wobbled on the last words.
May looked at the floor, then up at her. ‘Why can’t I come with you, then?’
Hugh stepped in to answer that. ‘Because you have to go to school. Our visit to London is only for one day. If it was for longer, we’d take you, I promise.’
‘It’s still not fair.’
Nell found herself the target of May’s scowls from then on. She tried not to let that bother her, but it did.
Chapter Fourteen
Paddington Station seemed so enormous to Nell that she stopped walking to stare round in amazement. It was much bigger than the station in Manchester had been, and the high curved roof was like a giant’s greenhouse, supported on enormous wrought iron columns. The place was full of people, not only travellers, but workmen and railway porters and other people in uniform.
‘They’re enlarging the station,’ Hugh whispered. ‘It’s taking years.’
‘Why are all those people going down the stairs?’
‘On the level below there’s a station on the underground railway system. It’s very easy to get around in London that way.’ He gazed round the station fondly. ‘I’d forgotten how much I love it here in the capital – the bustle, the sense of life.’
‘Yet you gave that up for May.’
His smile was rueful. ‘Only temporarily. And I hadn’t expected it to take this long.’
‘Maybe you’ll have to put your foot down about moving. Children don’t know enough about the world to make the big decisions in life.’
He looked at her as if she’d said something startling. ‘But she’s grieving.’
‘So am I. But I changed my life so that things wouldn’t remind me of … what I’d lost. It’s been a year now, hasn’t it? It’s up to you to change her life so that she can start to be happy again, somewhere away from all the memories.’
‘You’re very wise.’
‘I don’t feel wise.’
‘As well as pretty.’
She could feel herself blushing. No one had ever made her blush as often as he did. And she loved his soft chuckles of amusement at that.
As they set off walking again, Nell was glad to take his arm and let him guide her through the crowds, something he seemed to do quite easily, while on her own, she’d have kept bumping into people, she was sure. In spite of her present anxiety, she had to smile at the thought of what a country mouse she must seem to Hugh. Until this year, her life had been very narrow and limited.
‘Shall we go straight to the hotel where your sister worked and get that over with?’ he asked. ‘Or would you like to stop somewhere for a cup of tea first?’
Her amusement vanished as if a tap had been turned off. ‘Let’s go straight there. I’d rather get it over with.’
The hotel was one of a terrace of buildings near Kensington High Street. These were
n’t small houses like those in the terraces she knew, but large ones, built for rich people, she was sure. They were all four storeys high and all exactly the same.
‘It’s Georgian architecture at its best,’ Hugh explained, seeing her stare. ‘No fuss or frills, just simple, elegant lines.’
The hotel took up one end of the row and looked quietly elegant, as if it knew and was proud of its place in the world.
The door was opened for the group ahead of them by a uniformed commissionaire, who inclined his head. The two ladies were extremely fashionable, one wearing a hobble skirt, draped to emphasise its narrowness around the ankles. They were laughing with their male escorts, full of confidence, from their huge hats decorated with plumes and flowers, to their shiny pointed shoes.
Nell felt as if she shouldn’t even be here, and she would never have dared enter the hotel on her own. Hugh was perfectly at home, just like the other group of people. He stopped to chat to the commissionaire for a moment or two, then drew her inside.
At the reception desk she let him explain why they’d come, then sat beside him on a hard overstuffed sofa to wait for Mrs Tolson.
A young woman crossed the huge foyer, stopped at the reception desk, then came towards them. ‘Mrs Greenhill? The housekeeper sent me to fetch you. Please come this way.’
Hugh stood up. ‘I’ll accompany my friend, if you don’t mind. She’s rather distressed by all this.’
Her sympathetic glance said she was aware of the reason for their visit.
They went up in a lift, the first time Nell had ever been in one. Normally she’d have enjoyed the new experience, but today she was so desperate to find a clue as to what had happened to her sister that she stood unmoving as the young woman closed an expanding iron door, shutting them into a sort of cage. The lift trundled upwards, clanging and rattling. What if it suddenly broke down and they plummeted down to the basement? She shivered at the thought.
On the third floor they followed a very long corridor with a thick soft carpet to the far end, where there was a door marked Private. The area beyond wasn’t nearly as luxurious. A page boy with a jacket full of shining brass buttons and a little cap on his head hurried along in front of them, and a young woman with a pencil stuck in her hair and a thick pile of papers in her hand hurried out of one door and into another.
