by T. C. Edge
I stand, needing to move, and pace over towards the nearest window. A soft breeze caresses my cheeks, the city appearing below. It's a startling view, as it is from my own apartment, though the angle is different, the view of the Hill of Olympus, the Sacred Stairs, slightly altered.
I stare out, eyes on the clouds, trying to distract myself. It isn't hard. I'm immediately drawn back to thoughts of the Prime, perfect, radiant, godlike...
"Amber."
The voice is soft and has me turning, neck snapping quickly around to look at the door. There, I see Lady Felina, smile on her face, blue dress so glorious. She steps to the side, and a golden light appears. Golden hair. Golden eyes. The light grey robes of the Worthy on her frame.
My sister stands, skin glowing, looking more healthy than she ever has before. She smiles buoyantly as she sees me, though doesn't speak or move. Her eyes turn up to Lady Felina, whose own drop down to meet them.
"It's OK, Lilly," she says. "This is your time. Go to her." She looks up at me. "I'll leave you two alone."
Neither of us move until Felina leaves the room, the door shutting quietly, leaving only the whistling breeze behind. It takes a second, and then, from nowhere, we both thaw as one, rushing forward, arms wrapping, folding around each other. I grip tight at her skinny frame, no weight lost on her over the past days and weeks. If anything, in fact, she feels fuller, her skin brighter, her hair cleaner.
She looks beautiful.
We hug for an extended time, as if neither of us know just what to say. Before it becomes too awkward, I finally release her and step back. She moves quickly into a respectful pose, the sort she's been practicing all her life. The sort she'd adopt when Collector Ceres, or any other Children of the Prime might come to town. The sort that, as part of her training, she will need to perfect.
But not around me.
"You don't have to stand to attention, Lil," I say, reaching out and taking her arm. I pull on it, rearranging her posture, relaxing her. "I'm just your big sis."
She glances back towards the door, firmly shut, as if Lady Felina might be watching. Judging her performance, her every move.
"It's just us, Lillypad," I say. "Just me and you, don't worry. Relax."
She nods, but I can see she's uncomfortable. I try leading her towards the sofa and getting her to sit down, hoping that might work. I even offer her some food - though not wine - gathering together a small plate and handing it over to her. She looks aghast.
"I can't eat that," she says, as if I've just handed her a plate of regurgitated fish guts. "That isn't intended for me."
"It's food, Lilly. It's meant to be eaten."
"But not by me. I'm a Worthy, Amber." She frowns, as if she's done something wrong. "Sorry, Lady Amber..."
"No," I say firmly. "Hell no! You stop that right now."
She looks up at me, confused, conflicted.
"Don't you ever call me Lady Amber," I say firmly, setting a sharp gaze on her. "Do you understand me, Lilly. Never."
She nods, quickly, like Marlow might if I were to reprimand him. Or any other Worthy, subservient to me, obedient to my will. "Of course," she says. "I apologise. Anything you wish."
"No," I say again, exasperated. "You don't have to follow my orders. Just be normal around me. Like we were back home."
Once more, she nods, far too compliant. I sigh and shake my head.
We'll get there, I think. It'll just take some time.
"So how have you been?" I ask, hoping some regular conversation will help ease her up. "You look well. You're being treated nicely?"
"Yes, very nicely," she says formally. "Lady Felina is very kind. It has been everything I could have hoped for, to be in the service of such a prominent Daughter."
"Well, that's good," I say. "She does seem lovely."
"She is. I will do my duty and serve her with my full attention, day and night."
"Um, great," I say. "But you don't need to deliver the sales pitch to me, Lil. And, please, stop looking at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like that. Like you did when you found out what I was back home. I'm still your sister, first and foremost."
She glances at me, up and down, eyes scanning my shimmering crimson robes. A see a familiar ripple of excitement and wonder spread across her face.
"They've been talking about you," she says, eyes returning to mine. "All over, I've heard people talking."
"About?"
"About you," she says, a hint of the old Lilly returning. That preachy, impatient Lilly. That's the girl I love. "The things you can do. The journey you've been on."
"It's not that exciting," I say. "It's all been a bit of a rush actually. I'm still learning."
"But you're a Primary Daughter of the Prime," Lilly says, shaking her head in disbelief. "You have...met the Prime."
I nod, unable to hold back the smile on my face. "I have."
"How was it. What are they like? I can't believe...I can't believe there are two..." Her eyes drift off, childlike, that innocent wonder inside them. I take the mental picture. It's the sister I remember.
"I guess we didn't know much back home, did we," I say. "It's not how I expected it to be here. Not really."
"Nor me," Lilly says, excited. "It's so much more. Everywhere you look there's something magnificent. The buildings. The people. I'm living my dream, Amber." She grins broadly, her eyes working off towards the large windows as if she hasn't seen them before. The look of wonder on her face is almost palpable. "Do you mind if I...get a little closer?"
"You don't have to ask, Lil," I sigh. "But sure, come on."
We stand and move over to the windows, the view of the city building as we near. I find it hard drawing my gaze from the clouded summit, the wondrous steps I travelled only the previous morning. I do so with some effort, choosing instead to watch my sister, see the expression on her face as she locks eyes with the city's core, it's great monument, the residence of its most eminent citizens and rulers.
"I..." she starts, seeming lost for words. "I..."
She trails off, and I can't help but smile. I give her the space to enjoy it, not interrupting this special moment until she eventually turns back to me.
"Is this your first time seeing it?" I ask.
She nods, tears in her eyes as they go back and forward between me and the hill, the staircase. "I haven't been in this room yet," she whispers. "The other side of the apartment doesn't have this view."
"It's quite something, isn't it?"
She nods silently. "Is it...is it always like that? Covered in clouds?"
"As far as I know," I say, enjoying having a little more knowledge on the topic than my sister, for once. "The clouds part sometimes, giving a view of the top, or to ease someone's passage up there."
"How?"
"One of the Chosen, I think," I say. "There's someone up there who can control the weather, to some degree at least."
Her eyes pop, and work right back up the hill.
"Did you see all the mists around the city when you came here?" I ask her. "The plains outside are blanketed in them."
She nods. "I did think that was odd."
"Same. I'm guessing there are Children who are assigned with keeping the city concealed within the fog. It's a pretty good defensive measure."
"That's...amazing."
"There's a lot of that here."
She turns to me at that, once again looking upon my shimmering robes. "And you're included in that," she whispers, reaching out, curious. Her fingers move towards the fabric, before stopping and looking up at me.
"It's OK. You can touch it."
Her hand continues, continuing its path and gently caressing my robes. She smiles. "It's so smooth. Is it comfortable?"
"Yeah, very comfortable. You know it can adjust to my temperature, change colour."
"It can?" she says, eyes widening.
"Sure," I smile. I take a few steps back into the middle of the room. "Check this out."
Steam begins to rise from me, fingers stiffening with a coating of ice. I hold on for a few moments, though aren't quite as used to this sensation, before returning to my usual form and temperature. My robes adjust accordingly. The feeling is glorious, natural, a thrill I don't think I'll ever tire of.
But, I want more.
The sound of wild applause fills the room, Lilly's hands clapping together and lips splitting into a wide smile. I take a dramatic bow, shuffling my feet as I do so. Looking down, I notice that the carpet beneath me is scorched quite badly where my feet were planted.
"Oh..." I say. "Shit."
I look up to find Lilly's face stricken. Her hands stop in their applause and hang, almost comedically, in midair. She begins breathing heavily, as if she's about to have a panic attack.
"Lil, calm down," I say. "Don't worry, it's my fault. Trust me, I've done a lot worse since I've been here..."
My words don't appear to have an impact. Before I can go and comfort her, she's rushing forward towards me, dropping to her knees, and hurriedly inspecting the burns in a vain attempt to see if they can be covered or patched up somehow.
"Lil, it's fine. Don't worry."
She continues to rush about, frantic, before the door knocks suddenly. From beyond, the soft voice of Lady Felina sounds.
"Is everything OK in there?" she asks, perhaps alerted to the commotion by one of her other attendants.
Lilly's eyes near pop out of her head.
"Um...just fine," I call. "Nothing to worry about..."
"Are you certain? I'm coming in, OK..."
Before I can deny her, the door is opening and she's stepping into what's probably a quite unexpected scene: Lilly, all but bowing at my feet; me, awkwardly attempting to plant my soles back down in the exact spots where I scorched the carpet.
I learn, in that moment, two things. Firstly, Lady Felina isn't easily tricked. Second, she doesn't take things too seriously.
Regarding the scene for a few moments, I see her expression morph into one of great amusement. She shakes her head, then breaks out into a tuneful burst of laughter.
"Now what have you two been up to?" she chuckles.
"Nothing, Mistress," comes Lilly's voice, throttled by nerves. "I...we were..."
"You were having a great load of fun, by the looks of things," says Felina, stepping in to get a better look at us. "A valiant attempt, Amber, to 'cover your tracks', quite literally in this case. Such prints are a common side-effect of life as a Fire-Blood, I'm sure." She laughs at her own joke, before stepping in and pressing us aside. Her eyes fall to the carpet. "A shame. I did like this carpet. But seeing you two reunited is far more important to me."
"I am really sorry, Felina," I say. "I was just showing Lilly how my robes change colour. I wasn't really thinking."
"Oh yes you were. You were thinking of making your sister happy. That's of a higher priority than worrying about a silly old carpet, beautiful though it is. But, since you've pretty much ruined it, why don't you go ahead and give me a display as well. I've always enjoyed seeing the robes of Fire-Bloods changing their hue."
She moves off at that, waving Lilly over to join her. My sister, silent, scurries off at the command, and takes a seat beside her new mistress at Felina's request. Felina picks up her wine glass once more and, to my great surprise, even offers Lilly a small cup of her own.
"How old are you again, child?" she asks.
"Fourteen, Lady Felina," Lilly says.
"Ah, the age I was when I started" Felina looks up at me. "That doesn't sound good, does it," she grins. "Are you OK with Lilly having a tipple?"
I shrug. "Fine by me. My sister could do with some loosening up."
Lilly manages a slight scowl at that. Felina just laughs loudly.
"Now," she says, handing Lilly a small cup and keeping her eyes on me, "if you don't mind, Amber, would you give us a quick display? I'm not suggesting you're a trained jester or anything, but...well, you did just ruin my favourite, beloved carpet."
She winks and settles back. Lilly, sitting upright, looks like she has no idea what to do with herself, or her wine. She holds in her her hands on her lap as if it's a wild animal, about to bite.
Felina reaches over, raising the cup to her lips. "There you go, dear. That's how it's done." She looks back to me. "Please, the floor is yours."
I set about entertaining the both of them for a good few minutes, rather enjoying the opportunity to play around with my new powers, bond with Felina, and help Lilly loosen up at the same time. Before long, the carpet is marked by several other scorch marks, and my two spectators are beaming at the display.
"I think I've destroyed your carpet enough," I say, regarding the damage. "I'd rather not set fire to the entire apartment."
"True true," Felina says. "And a fine display, Amber. Just the tip of the iceberg, I imagine."
I nod. The very tip, yes.
"What about you?" I ask. "You going to show us what you can do?"
Felina smiles at the challenge. "Well, my gifts aren't quite so pyrotechnic. They're not great as an observer sport like yours are. Best I can do is an eye-test, I suppose. When I concentrate, I can see the finest details here in this room, and beyond."
"Can you see up the hill?" asks Lilly, breaking her silence, clearly relaxed by both the few sips of wine she's had, and the casual environment Felina has engendered. "I mean, through the clouds?"
"Alas, no," says Felina wistfully. "Those clouds are impenetrable to my eyes. But when they clear, oh, it's wonderful."
I move in, interested, and take a seat beside Lilly on the sofa. "Can you see the faces of the Prime clearly?" I ask. "Yesterday, for example. Could you see them?"
"Oh yes," Felina says. "I see their perfection. As I told you, Amber, I may not have met them, but I've gotten closer than most others."
I nod, envious of her. To be able to look upon their faces with that clarity every time the clouds clear, and they appear for some grand occasion. I'd give up a lot for that.
"I saw you too," Felina says. I look back up to her. "I saw your face so clearly yesterday. You and the others. I knew, long before the announcement was made, that Elian had been Chosen. Your faces were so...so very different." She looks at me softly. "I'm so sorry, Amber, but all is not lost. You see, your failure has opened other doors. You get to spend more time with Lilly now. And, better than that, you get to spend time with me."
She grins broadly again, causing Lilly to chuckle lightly. "You have a sweet laugh, child," she says to my sister. "I do hope to hear it often here."
"Yes, my Lady," says Lilly, bowing.
She smiles down at her, and I smile too. And for the next hour, we sit, and talk, and bond together. And all the while, that lingering disappointment continues to hover. Held back as I see my sister, but ready to blossom once more when I find myself alone.
And that night, so it does.
6
The days that follow suck the life from me. I return to my lavish apartment accompanied by Marlow, my mind distracted, my desires calling for solitude.
I should feel happy, delighted even, to see Lilly so well set up. To see her happy, her dreams fulfilled, warped as I always thought them to be. To see that Lady Felina is such a joy, so kind in nature, and so determined to improve the lives of the Worthies in the city. She spoke of those among the Children of the Prime who appeared to be campaigning for better lives for those Worthies who suffer. It sounds to me as though many, a great many, perhaps, are not the conceited, superior beings I first thought them all to be.
Yet, despite all that good news, when I leave Lilly's company I feel strangely lost
. Yes, I will see her again soon - very soon, perhaps, if I wish it - but it isn't really that. It's the simple fact that, now, my mind can wander. It can brew. It can lead me towards the balcony in my bedchambers, demand that I stare up at the summit of the city, at the clouds, at the temple hidden within them. Stare, endlessly, praying for a glimpse of the Prime once more.
I spend the night there after returning home. I dismiss Marlow, and just sit and stare. I feel the obsession taking hold, but can do nothing to deny it. It's as though there's someone clinging to me, one hand on my neck, the other on the top of my head, guiding my eyes to the clouds above. An invisible force that won't let me rest, won't let me leave, that demands every moment of my waking energy.
And when I sleep, I do so only through exhaustion and need. I slip to my bed and lie on my side, the curtains open, the moonlight shining in. I fall asleep staring at the same spot. If ever I wake to find that I've turned away in my slumber, I quickly spin back around in an odd panic, and feel the immediate relief spread through me as I see that distant shadow of the mountain once again.
It isn't healthy, I know that, but there seems nothing I can do about it. I take solace in the fact that all who meet the Prime go through this. That all who look upon them understand this obsession more than the rest. And I begin to understand, too, why so few are ever allowed to see them, speak with them face to face. Were too many more to do so, policing their desires would become too difficult. They'd eventually storm the summit together, unable to control their desperate need to feel that euphoria once more.
I muse in my hours alone on this power of theirs, this feeling they inspire. I imagine that it must be the very reason why they grew to rule these people, build this city, force so many others to do their will, serve their desires. And though I've met many people, now, who display great power, I've never felt anything like what I experienced when meeting them.
No, this isn't a city of gods. These people are not deities, not really. But the Prime...that is a different matter. There is something truly divine about them.
My lonely vigil extends into the following day. I get no visitors, except that of Marlow, ever on site and tending to my needs. Mostly, that involves bringing me food and drink. Coffee, such a rare commodity on the Fringe, is now readily available whenever I desire it. It makes me think of Jude, so I choose not to partake.
