* * *
“Are you sure that’s all you want?” Hannah asked Shell as she hurried into a deli the next morning. She was running late picking Shell up for a meeting with a new production company. Luckily for all involved, the company was located in Nashville, so she could enjoy her time at home and still get work accomplished too.
“Yeah,” Shell said on the other end of the phone. “I ate late last night, but please make sure you get me a coffee. You’ll be here right after that?”
“I will. Shouldn’t be more than thirty minutes. We should be right on time for the meeting even if I am running late getting you.”
“Okay, see you when you get here.”
Hannah disconnected the call and stepped up to the counter, ordering the meal for herself and Shell. After paying and being told how long it would take, she moved to stand over to the side, browsing the magazine rack. One of the most prominent magazines had the picture of her and Garrett from the after party on it. She took a picture of it and texted it to Garrett, along with a ‘good morning’. She figured it would probably be a few hours before he saw it, but it would be something nice for him to wake up to. As she scrolled through some of the emails on her phone, she felt someone come up behind her. People in Nashville were used to seeing stars out and about, so she didn’t turn around, she just continued about her business. For long minutes, the person stood behind her before she felt them lean in.
“Is that your new boyfriend?”
She stiffened automatically, shying away. That voice had caused her so much heartache, so much anger, so much hurt, that still affected her. Each time she was home in Nashville she hoped she wouldn’t see him, that just maybe she could go a few days without running into him. This was a big city, after all. It never seemed to fail, whenever she came into town, she ran into him. It would feel good to turn around and tell him exactly what she thought of him, but she had been raised to be polite, and every time she had stood up for herself, he’d knocked her down. Sometimes physically and sometimes mentally. Plastering a smile on her face, she turned, coming face to face with the last man who had not only broken her heart, but her spirit.
Hannah hadn’t seen him in a few months, not even on TV, and he had been in the studio making his new album from what she had heard around town. He had let his blonde hair grow longer than it ever had when they were together, the tips of it just brushed the edges of his shirt. Being unkempt wasn’t something he’d allowed her to do while they were together, and she wanted to say something about the unshaven beard that covered his face, the dark circles under his blue eyes. It was obvious he had partied hard the night before. She knew that some women liked that look, but it only reinforced the fact that she didn’t even find him attractive anymore.
“Ashton.” She did her best to not let him see just how much he ticked her off. “Not that it’s any of your business, but he’s a friend.”
“That’s how we started out right?”
He was cocky, and that was one of the many things she realized too late she hated about him. Which was small in the grand scheme of what he had actually done to her, but it helped to focus on the things that hadn’t given her nightmares. She ignored him as her phone beeped and they called her name.
“It was good to see you,” he called out as she walked away.
She couldn’t say the same to him. Her appetite was gone when she got back to her car, but she was glad to see a text from Garrett.
We look pretty damn good on that cover! Not sure what you’re doing today, but hope you have a good one. Call me when you have time.
That was exactly what she needed. As Ashton walked out of the deli, she put her car in reverse and backed away, not looking at him again.
Chapter Seven
* * *
“You look like somebody pissed in your Cheerios,” Shell observed as she got into the passenger side of the vehicle. “What happened after you called me?”
Her normally cheery friend wore a frown on her face, her eyes drawn together with unhappiness. It wasn’t a look that Shell had seen on her in a long while. It was definitely cause for alarm.
“I saw Ashton,” Hannah said in a clipped tone.
“Oh shit.”
Hannah visibly swallowed and gripped the steering wheel tighter. “Yeah.”
“That’s the worst thing about this town, huh?”
Shaking her head, Hannah couldn’t help the dry laugh that escaped her throat. “It really is. Every time I think I’m over it, I run into him again, and all the anger and fear comes rushing back.”
“Maybe it would help you if you just talk it out,” she pressed. “You’ve never even told me what happened between the two of you. You dated for two years, and then he was gone. I didn’t give you a hard time because I knew that it hurt you. But now, maybe you need to tell me exactly what happened.”
“We don’t have time.” Hannah checked her watch and sighed.
“Hannah, if it’s bothering you this much, you seriously need to make the time.”
She knew that her friend was right. It would make her feel better to tell someone about what had gone on between her and Ashton, but that would also require that she open up a spot in her that she had closed with a padlock. She would have to re-open a wound. But really it wasn’t closed, not if it still made her this angry. Maybe she should have done what all the websites had recommended and sought professional help, but either way, she had to tell someone something. “Do me a favor.” She handed her phone to Shell. “Call them and tell them we’re running late…that’s it’s an emergency. I don’t care how you do it; just get me out of this meeting. You do that and I’ll tell you what happened.”
This was a change of pace for Hannah. She never cancelled or made excuses about being late. That’s what told Shell just how important this was, just how much this bothered her.
Making a turn and going in the opposite direction, Hannah half listened to the conversation going on between Shell and to the person on the other end of the phone. This was so unlike her, but she did need to get this out. Garrett made her want to trust someone again, made her want to be open to a possible relationship. If she didn’t get through these feelings of anger and distrust, she would never be able to give him a true chance. It wouldn’t be fair, and she was nothing if not fair.
“Okay, I bought you a day. Tomorrow you’re going to have to make it to this meeting. Today you’re going to have to tell me just what happened between you and Ashton Coleman.”
Just hearing his name caused her stomach to flip. As if the universe was in on the joke, the radio even began playing his most recent hit song. She reached over and shut it off quickly, the thin tone of his voice that all women loved wearing on her already thin nerves.
“By the way, you have a text from Garrett.”
“I’ll get it in a few minutes. I don’t want to talk to him before I do this. I would much rather talk to him after.”
They pulled into a public park and grabbed their breakfast, taking it to the picnic tables to eat. Once they sat, Shell gave Hannah as much time as she needed. After long minutes, Hannah finally opened her mouth.
“I trusted Ashton with everything. You know that right?”
Shell nodded. Ashton had even been given some control over her public persona and had tried to change her into a person that just was not Hannah Stewart.
“I was comfortable with that for a long time just because I was young.” She licked her lips and played with the paper her muffin sat in. “I was twenty-one years old when we got together. I had been doing this for a few years, and I was just ready to be an adult. I thought that letting someone that I loved handle everything was being an adult. We were a couple, and I was content to let him be the man.”
“I hated that,” Shell laughed. “Remember the arguments you and I got into about it when he tried to tell you how to dress?”
“I do,” Hannah nodded. “And that should have been my first clue. But I was stupid.”
She stopped for a long time, and Shell wasn’t sure that she would go on. She got a far-off look in her eyes as she watched kids playing in the park, couples jogging or bike riding, older people walking. It seemed as if she didn’t want to continue, or maybe she was just arguing with herself. Trying to figure out how much she wanted to reveal.
“You weren’t stupid,” Shell coaxed. “You were in love.”
“No, trust me, I was stupid,” she shook her head, a self-deprecating smile on her face. “It was good up until a few months before we broke up. Him telling me what to do was really startin’ to get on my nerves. At one point he even told me I needed to learn to talk without my accent.”
“What?”
“Yeah, he wanted me to go to voice lessons to get rid of it. I’m Nashville born and bred. It’s not just gonna go away. You might as well make me learn to write right-handed. It just ain’t happening.”
“Where was I through that?” Shell knew that there was a time in her and Hannah’s friendship where they hadn’t been as close as they were now, but for the life of her, she couldn’t remember Ashton being that damn controlling.
“I kept everybody away and at arm’s length, just because I didn’t want anyone telling me what an idiot I was being. It was around the time you dated ‘he who shall not be named’…so you were kind of not paying a whole lot of attention to me and my relationship. You had stars in your eyes too.”
“Oh yeah.” Shell wrinkled her nose in disgust. “We were both dumbasses.”
“Pretty much. Anyway, touring was getting to be a lot of work. I was doing it more than normal, and Ashton and I were in different cities most of the time. His sales were starting to pick up, and his record company had him doing a radio tour. I was hearing rumors of him being with other girls, but you have to understand, I heard that the whole time we were together.”
Shell knew that the rumors about the country golden couple had run the gamut of good and bad. A lot of it had been lies, so there was no reason that Hannah should have believed anything other people were telling her.
Her face burned as she admitted the next part. “I did ask him about it. One night when we were in a hotel room in Chicago, I asked him because I noticed a weird mark on his back. He was my first, and I’m not what one would call wild in bed. I’m not a scratcher or anything like that. The mark on his back looked like fingernails, and I asked him what it was. Of course he said he got it working out.”
Holding up a hand, Shell stopped her. “That makes me sad for you, honey. That no man has ever made you want to be wild enough in bed to scratch his back. Please give me your phone so I can text Garrett.”
A laugh bubbled up from Hannah’s throat, and she let it out, glad that Shell had broken the tension of the conversation. “You will not be texting Garrett anything. This is me being honest with you.”
“We’ll keep it between ourselves, but seriously, if a man doesn’t make you want to scratch his back, he ain’t doin’ it right.”
Hannah ignored her friend and continued. “The next week, I got some pictures text messaged to me from a number I didn’t recognize. It was Ashton with another woman. I could see everything. There was even a video with it.” Her eyes were bright with tears, and her chin trembled slightly. “Trust me when I say he was way more into her than he ever was me. That was pretty apparent in the way he responded to her and the things he asked her to do for him. I called him and broke up with him that day. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be in a relationship that was a lie. But it’s so embarrassing…to know I’m such a cold fish. That’s what he told her on the video.”
A sinking feeling settled in Shell’s stomach. “Oh honey, please don’t tell me you think this had anything to do with you.”
“It did, don’t you see? I’m just not that kind of woman. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to keep a man sexually satisfied, so I’m probably just destined to be forever alone.”
“Get that thought out of your head right now. Promise me you won’t base the rest of your relationships off that one. Promise me. Ashton was a dumbass. He’s young, and he’s in a position to sleep with anything that walks right now. He’ll get sick of it, and then he’ll realize what he threw away. Luckily for you, you have someone interested in you who’s past that age.”
Hannah’s mind went back to the conversation she and Garrett had the night before. He had flat out told her he was done sowing his wild oats so to speak. Could this be different than what she’d had with Ashton? Could she trust him?
“He told me last night he was done sleeping with girls just because he could, when we FaceTimed after the show. He said it’s gotten boring,” she shrugged, pulling the sleeves of her long sleeve shirt over her hands.
“Then believe it, Hannah. These two men are completely different. Ashton liked to tell you what to do because he was threatened by your fame.”
“He’s famous too,” she argued.
“But he didn’t get there until after he started dating you. You were the star when the two of you got together. Garrett doesn’t need you to make him popular or a success. I daresay in your different circles he is much more famous than you are. He doesn’t need a damn thing from you. Don’t let this experience with Ashton ruin what you could have with another man.”
It was easy for Shell to say.
“I’m just having fun with Garrett. We’re just talking on the phone and texting.”
“If that’s the only thing you think you’re doing, Hannah, then you are naive. He brought you on stage, and you let him see you without makeup while you FaceTimed. You only FaceTime when you’re lying in bed before you go to sleep. I’m not saying the two of you are going to get married, but you don’t let a lot of men see you without your game face on because you are a proper southern lady. What I am telling you is that you’re crazy if you let what Ashton did to you make you not have a good time with the hotness that is this man.” She pulled Hannah’s phone over and showed her the unlock screen. It still showed the picture of the two of them together. Shell had a feeling that Hannah hadn’t been completely honest with her. There had been more than once there at the end where she had worn a lot more makeup than normal and she had hidden herself away, but if Garrett could bring a smile to Hannah’s face, then Shell would overlook it for now.
“He is hot…and nice…and really sweet…and he went to all the trouble of finding out my number and inviting me to the show.”
“He did.”
“Okay,” she exhaled. “I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna go for it. If and when the opportunity presents itself, I’m gonna give it everything I’ve got with Garrett Thompson.”
“Good,” Shell grinned. “Now if I could only get you to say a great big ‘fuck you’ to Ashton, we would be doing awesome.”
A smile spread across Hannah’s face, her cheeks going red. “Poor Ashton Coleman, I hope somebody blesses his heart.”
Chapter Eight
* * *
“Dude, change the fucking channel. I’m not watching this stupid game show again,” Jared yelled at one of the other members of Black Friday.
Garrett lay in his bunk trying to drown the rest of the guys out. They were getting stir crazy, having been on the bus for almost a full day. Their next stop was Omaha. Cincinnati to Nebraska was a hell of a drive. He wanted to be anywhere but here right now. Jared was being annoying, and none of the other band members wanted to face the fact that he was out of control…again. As Garrett turned over and shut the curtain of his bunk as tightly as he could, his phone rang. The ringtone was a Harmony Stewart song, and he hurried to answer it.
“You finally called me,” he said by way of greeting.
“Yeah,” she laughed. “Sorry I kind of flaked on you yesterday after sending you that text message, but I had some stuff happen that required my attention.”
“Everything okay?” he asked, concern apparent in his voice.
“Just stupid emotional stuff, ya know?”
He did. He dealt with his emotio
ns every time Jared acted out like he was now. Garrett could still hear him yelling at the other members in the back of the bus. “I know what you mean,” he said softly.
“Are you okay?” she asked him on impulse. He’d questioned her, so it stood to reason that she could ask him the same question.
Garrett sighed deeply. “Just ready to get off this damn bus. We’ve been on it for almost twenty-four hours straight, and the guys are starting to get stir crazy. I’ve actually cocooned myself in my bunk.”
“Wow, considering what you told me the other night about being scared of not seeing what’s going on, that says something.” She wondered if something else was going on. His voice wasn’t as jovial as normal. It was quiet and subdued; tired definitely, but at the same time it seemed troubled.
“I know, right? I’d just rather be here than back there with the rest of them.”
Wanting to get him talking to her, she decided to delve into his life the way he delved into hers. “So tell me about your band members. I met Jared, but what about the other two?”
His band was one of his favorite things to talk about. These men were his best friends and the closest thing he had to family that was not blood-related to him. “We have our drummer, Nightmare.”
“What’s his real name?” she questioned almost immediately.
“Who’s to say that’s not his real name?”
“C’mon Garrett,” she stretched his name out with her accent, causing him to grin.
“Did you do that to emphasize that my real name is not rock-n-roll enough?”
“Maybe.”
He could hear the grin in her voice. “That hurts, Hannah.”
“So tell me his real name.”
“Chris.” He laughed when she snorted.
“You guys have the most basic names imaginable. Is the other one Bradley?”
Only The Beginning (Rockin' Country) Page 5
