He reached over and grabbed her hand in his. He really needed to know the answer to this question, but he knew that it would scare him to death if she said yes. “Serious question here, Han. Does my temper scare you?”
She was quiet for a long time, and he wondered if he’d overstepped some kind of invisible boundary. “It does,” she admitted.
That crushed him. He never wanted to scare her—ever. At the same time, he couldn’t change who he was or how he dealt with things, but he could try to be better. “Damn,” he whispered. “I never wanted to scare you with the way I am.”
“You’re just so intense sometimes. You and Jared both. There are times when the both of you have scared me, but that’s not on you two. That’s on me. I know that neither one of you would ever hurt me, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t worry about it.”
“I don’t want to worry you.”
“I can’t change that part of my personality yet. Just know that you being here and being able to tell you little things about what happened with Ashton and you standing up for me the way you did, it helped things so much. I don’t want you to change for me,” she assured him.
“Will you at least be honest with me when I do it then? Will you say ‘Garrett, you’re scaring me’ that way I can back my temper down. Believe it or not, I do have some control over it.”
She knew that he did, and she wanted to prove to him that she could also learn a few things. “When I’m being too clingy and to self-deprecating, you have to call me out on it too. We both have flaws and faults that we need to work on. We’ll do that together.” The promise was implied in the tone of voice that she used.
Since they were alone in their own cabana, she got up and walked the short distance to where he lay on his own lounger. Without asking, she lay down beside him and made herself comfortable. When his arms went around her, she knew this was where she belonged, and the fear that it would change when she went home clogged up her throat. Would it still feel this way when half a continent stretched between them? “I love you,” she told him softly as she listened to the steady beat of his heart.
“Love you too,” he whispered back to her, as he kissed her on the forehead. “We’ve worked too hard at this to let a little distance get in our way,” he tried to make joke of what she was thinking about.
“How did you know?”
“Because I’m thinking about it too, and it’s killing me trying to figure out what we can do.”
Neither one of them had an answer that would completely solve the issues they had with a long-distance relationship, so instead of talking about it, she let him hold her in his arms while the minutes and hours counted down until there were none left.
Epilogue
* * *
“You sure you won’t come home with me?” Garrett asked as he and Hannah stood in the airport, getting ready to separate into two different directions.
“I need to go home and see my mom, sleep in my own bed, see my house. It’s not that I don’t want to, I do, but I feel like I should go do things there too.”
He nodded, knowing that what she spoke was the truth. The fact that he was going home to do those things didn’t escape him; it just made him sad to be leaving her. The past few days had been amazing. He had almost let himself believe that she would be there for him every day. What it would be like if they were married and living their lives together.
“I’m just going to miss you,” he whispered against her ear as he pulled her hips flush with his.
“Now you sound like me,” she laughed, throwing her arms around his neck.
Shell was leaving with Jared immediately for their vacation, and the rest of the Black Friday band was going back to California, leaving her as the only one leaving on the plane to Nashville.
“Can’t help it, I got used to you.”
“I got used to you too, but right now we have two separate lives,” she reminded him.
“I know. I’ll see you soon. Right?”
She raised her eyebrows. “You think I’m going to stay away from you for that long?”
“Well, I had hoped not.”
“Then you truly don’t understand what kind of hold you have on me, Garrett Thompson.” She leaned in, brushing her lips against his neck.
It was late at night, and they were pretty sure no one of importance was around. It allowed them to be a little more open than they normally would have been in public. Moving his hand down, he cupped it around her thigh, caressing her lightly. “I hope it’s the same kind of hold you have on me.”
“I’m sure that it is.”
The overhead announcement said that it was time for her to board her flight, and he groaned, pushing his forehead against hers. “You really gotta go?
“I really gotta go. But it won’t be long until we see each other again.”
“I wish that we weren’t based on two separate coasts,” he grumbled.
“Me too, but you can’t make hard rock in Nashville, and I can’t make country in California, so we’re just going to have to work this out.”
Again, she was right, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. Gripping her around the neck, he pulled her mouth to his, kissing her lightly.
She wanted him to deepen it but knew if they got started, they would never stop. She would miss her flight and then just fly on to California with him and probably never look back. “I love you,” she said softly as she pulled her lips back from his.
“Love you too,” he answered. “Just like we’re on the road, huh?”
“Just like that. We’ll do all the things we did before to keep up with each other,” she promised.
“Why does this feel different?” he questioned, not wanting to let her go.
“We’re much more invested in each other now. I mean you’ve beaten someone up for me,” she smiled.
“And do it again in a heartbeat if you need me too.” They called for her flight again, and he released his grip on her.
“I’ll call you when I land.”
“You better.” He dug his hands into her hair one more time and pulled it slightly so that she tilted her head back to look at him. “I’m just a phone call, plane ride, Skype session away. Don’t you forget that.”
“You either.” She leaned up and kissed him along his jaw line. “We’ll see each other soon.”
The side of his mouth tilted. “Not soon enough, but I’ll let you go for now.”
And he did, pushing her slightly towards her gate. When she looked back, he was already walking away. She couldn’t take it, the view of his back as he walked away from her. Nashville would still be there in a month, in a day, in a year—whenever she decided to go home. Her parents would understand, her business could be conducted wherever she chose to do it, but Garrett would only be in one place. That was California.
“Garrett,” she screamed as she left the gate, running towards him.
He turned around, surprise evident on his face. “Hannah?”
“I don’t want to go home,” she breathed heavily, tears pooling in her eyes. “I want to go with you, home is where you are. Nashville can wait, but these early days that we can spend together, they won’t. I don’t want to let this go,” she told him.
He hugged her fiercely to his chest. “Then we won’t. God, I didn’t want to let you go,” he whispered.
“I didn’t want you to let me go either,” she told him, reaching up to kiss his lips. Against them, she whispered, “We have our whole lives to finish what we’ve started here, but we only have one beginning to experience, and I want that experience with you.”
The End
If you, or someone you know, is in an abusive relationship, there is help. Please contact http://www.thehotline.org/. There are no fees, no names, no judgment, just help.
Acknowledgements
Allison, who always believes in me enough for the both of us. I couldn’t ever do any of this without you. I’m so blessed that we are close enough that you can be honest with
me, because there were part of this I needed honesty about. I will always love this journey for how it brought our friendship back together.
Michael, thank you for letting me listen to hours and hours of Brantley Gilbert and Avenged Sevenfold. I know you love me, even if you make fun of me on a regular basis.
Thank you to the readers, bloggers, and authors that I’ve met this past year. I take a little piece of me with you in everything and you’ll never know how much you all mean to me!
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Sneak Peek of Rockin’ Country 1.5
Coming July 2014
Chapter One
It was after three o’clock in the morning when the two of them pulled into the garage of Garrett’s Huntington Beach home.
“I hate that it’s dark and I can’t see the views I know you probably have,” Hannah pouted as she stepped out of his sports car.
“Yeah, too bad we couldn’t get a later flight. At least you’ll be able to see what the inside of the house looks like.”
He came around the car and grabbed her hand in his. Butterflies danced in her stomach and she wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like this was the first time she was going to a boyfriend’s house. She and Ashton had done it a couple of times, more so in the beginning than towards the end. Never had she felt at home with him, at his house. Hannah didn’t ever want to feel that way with Garrett. Underlying fear had her nerves on edge. What if she stayed here with him and they realized that maybe they weren’t as compatible as they seemed to be?
“You okay?” he asked as he let her hand go to separate keys on his key ring.
“Yeah, just nervous,” she giggled.
“Why?” He grinned at her giggle. “It’s just me here.”
“I guess,” she shrugged. “This is all still new to me.”
“Never stayed at Ashton’s?” he asked as they walked inside and he put a code into the security system.
“No, I did. This just feels different.”
Hannah was having trouble articulating her feelings. She couldn’t put into words just how important this was for her, for them, and for their relationship. With other people this was probably easy, with her, it felt like the rest of her life counted on how this visit went.
“It’s supposed to,” he told her as he walked into what she realized was a kitchen and began turning lights on. “When it’s important and it means a lot, it feels different. We’re not playing house here, Han. This is the real fuckin’ deal.”
She huffed and he stuck his tongue between his lips. “Knew that would get ya.”
Just as she was about to ask him a question, she heard the clickety clack of nails and the unmistakable sound of a dog collar. Before she could say anything, Garrett was on his knees, his arms wide open for what looked like a gray Doberman pincher. The dog whined, running towards his owner and threw himself into Garrett’s arms, yipping and whining, obviously excited.
“Hey Havock,” he cooed, running his hands over the dog’s head and using his fingers to scratch the hair there. “Did you miss me?”
Standing back, she watched as Garrett had a seat in the middle of the kitchen floor and let the dog pounce on him. Havock, as Garrett had called him, was so excited that he kept licking the man’s face. His chest heaved until finally Garrett stuck his hand out and pointed his finger in the ‘down’ direction. “Sit,” he commanded and the Doberman obeyed.
“You wanna come meet him?” he looked back at Hannah.
“I didn’t want to interrupt your reunion,” she smiled, slowly walking over to where the two sat.
Garrett’s face burned. “It’s been a little while since he’s seen me for longer than a few days. He’s my boy,” he ruffled the hair on the dog’s head again. “C’mere,” he indicated, holding his hand out to her. “He needs to smell you first. He’s a trained guard dog. He’ll take you down if you aren’t careful.”
Dogs hadn’t ever been something that she and her family had, so this did make her a little uncomfortable. Not so uncomfortable that she couldn’t stay in the same home with them, but she wasn’t sure how to act.
“Havock, this is your new roomie, Hannah,” he introduced them.
Hannah snickered when he called her a roomie, but then forced herself to relax as she put her hand out to the dog. He sniffed her a few times and made a circle around her before sitting in front of her and licking her fingers. “Does he like me?”
“Yeah, he likes you,” Garrett laughed as Havock licked her hand and then laid down on the ground on his back. “Nobody wants to see your junk, buddy,” he clapped his hands. “C’mon, let’s give her the tour.”
* * *
If Hannah had ideas about what his house looked like, it didn’t begin to compare to what the reality of it was.
“Do you really need all this room?” she asked as they entered the fourth bedroom. It was decorated the way she figured a typical bachelor pad looked. His basement was amazing—even to her. It had a fully stocked bar, a pool table, a lounge area and a huge set up for video games. He mentioned that he hosted tons of game nights and they sometimes went into the wee hours of the mornings.
“Nah, but when you’re young and you have money…you have an image to uphold. Especially when you’re out here on the West Coast. You’re lucky you grew up in Nashville where it’s so laid back.”
“It’s not as laid back as you think. There’s a good ’ole boys club that it took me a long time to break into.”
“But you weren’t expected to drive an Escalade right outta the box now where you?”
He had her there. “No, I wasn’t. But ya know, I think that comes from there being so many songwriters in Nashville. There’s only really a select few that are making a ton of money. Most of the people who roll up outside of a recording or writing session are in a rusted out pick-up truck. I mean, most of the artists write music to make money. That’s what a typical Nashville deal looks like. If I had no songwriting credits, I’d be living like a College Freshman and that’s no lie.”
“Even with touring?”
It was still so odd for her to be able to have these conversations with him. She’d never been this comfortable with Ashton to have these kinds of talks and nobody else really knew the business the way he did. “I got my butt kicked on my touring gig to tell you the truth. I make pretty good on the merchandising, but I should have held out for a bigger piece of the ticket pie. Shell and I wrote that down for next time. We both knew there would be a few things we didn’t exactly do right, and that was one of them. Learned a lesson with that.”
“That’s good though, as long as you learn from your mistakes. There’s not a damn thing wrong with that.”
A silence encompassed them and she rocked back and forth on her heels. “So we’ve been all over this house and there are two things I’m wondering.”
“What’s that?”
“Number one, what’s the backyard look like? Number two, what’s your bedroom look like?”
“Well, I can answer one question right now,” he grabbed her hand and pulled her in the direction of a closed door at the end of the hall. “This is my bedroom.”
He opened the door and allowed her to walk in before him. She turned around to give him a little grin. It was exactly how she imagined it would look. The walls were a gunmetal gray, dark carpet covered the floor, all of the furniture was black and in the middle sat a huge bed. It was four-poster with again dark covers.
“You really are dark sometimes aren’t you?”
Garrett shrugged. “It’s all a part of my personali
ty. Why should I get rid of one part to make the other part better? I am who I am.”
She couldn’t argue with that. He really was who he was and she realized that there wasn’t anything she would ask him to change. There was no reason to ask him to change. Hannah loved him exactly the way he was.
“Come over here,” he maneuvered her over to where a set of double doors sat in the wall.
She watched as he moved the curtains back and then opened them. It lead out onto a balcony that had all weather furniture. She loved it already.
“This is amazing.”
“Believe it or not, this is where I do a lot of writing. It’s so damn peaceful and you can just get inside your own head out here. I close those doors and in essence I close the world off and I escape into my own world. I get rid of everything that’s bothering me or whatever I’m going through in my life. This is my own little piece of Heaven right here.”
It was so special to her that he was showing her this part of him—this place that he obviously loved. “Ever brought anyone else here?” she asked on impulse.
“Nope, I’ve never seen myself being happy with anyone here. I get the feeling you already love it just as much as I do.”
Grabbing his hand, she pulled him to her and then put her hands on his hips. “I’ll reserve judgment on that until you show me the back yard.”
“You’re beautiful and smart. You reserve your opinions until you really know what you’re dealing with. I’m gonna have to remember that about you, Hannah Stewart.”
Only The Beginning (Rockin' Country) Page 25
