“It doesn’t work like that,” the boy replied, shrinking back as Graham straightened to his full height. “At least, this doesn’t. But no hard feelings—at least not with you.” He held out his hand for Graham to shake. It was trembling slightly.
Graham surveyed him through narrowed eyes before knocking the hand away roughly. It didn’t look like he was going to let it stop there. He took a step forward, his hand curled into a wrecking ball. But Tuck grabbed his shoulder. After a second of standing and glaring, Graham let Tuck pull him away.
Graham walked across the field and wrapped me up under one arm like a mother bird protecting her chick.
“What was that about?” he asked as we started walking toward home. When I didn’t answer, he added, “Does this have something to do with Kjell? If he’s been saying things about you—you know you can tell me.”
“No,” I said, not really sure which part I was contradicting. “It’s nothing. Just a misunderstanding. It’s not Kjell’s fault. Or anyone’s, really.”
“All the same, I’ll talk to him.” Graham looked back across the field, watching the other boys picking up their sweatshirts and water bottles. “Aren’t you supposed to go out with him tonight?”
“Um, no,” I stammered. “Kjell had to cancel. Rain check.” I’d never, ever lied to Graham’s face before. I wasn’t sure I could do it, even if it was for his own good. But both boys swallowed my explanation without question—making me feel even worse. And even more alone.
“On the bright side,” Tuck said, casting me a significant look and a wink, “he might never get the chance to cash it.”
“You shouldn’t wish bad things on other people like that.” The angry words were out before I could stop them. Tuck had no idea how morbidly prophetic he might have been. “You’re so mean sometimes.”
“Easy there, tiger.” He said it lightly, like he didn’t notice my over-the-top reaction, but his eyes locked on me and held on tight. “I didn’t mean something had to happen to him. It just seems like a lucky break. You won’t be spending the evening trying to let a two-hundred-pound Norwegian down gently.”
“Right.” I had to start controlling my emotions. The last thing I needed was Tuck trying to sniff out the truth. Kjell disappearing had rattled me to the core, and I couldn’t afford to do or say anything that could put Graham or Tuck in danger of being next.
“Sorry. I guess I’m just on edge about the whole thing,” I added.
Tuck didn’t buy that, not for a second. He looked at me like I was a book written in a language he couldn’t quite comprehend.
“He’s too old for you—I mean, he’s even older than me. And you’re not ready for something this serious.” Graham paused, then added, “Thought I’d have a chance to tell him that at the game today, but he was a no-show.”
The reminder Kjell was missing would have made me feel even worse if the rest of what Graham had said hadn’t set my remaining patience on fire. “Thanks, but I can handle it on my own,” I said. “I don’t always need you butting into my life, you know.”
“I’m not butting into your life, but this is a lot for you to handle on your own.” Graham tried to put his arm around me again, but I shifted away, just out of reach.
I wanted to scream. Graham had no idea what I was capable of handling, how many things I was already juggling all by myself—things far bigger and more important than boys. I was doing it all for him. For Graham. To keep him safe. My temper quieted, soothed by the logic that even if I wanted to strangle Graham sometimes, I didn’t really want something bad to happen to him. If he found out everything that had been happening in Skavøpoll, and that Kjell was missing, there was no way I could keep him from trying to help out. Which could throw him directly in Astrid’s path. I shivered as I remembered how Astrid had watched Graham after the fishing boat accident.
I couldn’t afford to get into a fight with Graham.
“About the date today. I handled it,” I said, smiling. “I told him I wasn’t interested.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” Graham said, giving me a smile. “I’m proud of you for handling Kjell. And that jerk back there on the soccer field. It looked like you were standing up to him, too.”
Silence settled over the three of us, and I looked back at them, relieved they’d finally let the subject drop.
That’s when I realized only Graham was satisfied by my explanation.
Tuck met my gaze, his steel-gray eyes cutting through my lies like a knife.
AFTER DINNER THAT night, we ended up sitting at the table, just talking. In my frustration with her, I’d forgotten how cool Grandmother could be—unlike my grandparents on my mother’s side, who lived in Palm Springs in a house that always smelled like overcooked peas. Grandmother had traveled everywhere in her twenties and told stories that had us enthralled for hours, especially Tuck, who’d never heard most of them before.
By the time we cleared the table, it was almost nine, and I assumed we’d watch a movie or just hang out for the rest of the night. I’d been sharpening my cribbage skills for just such an occasion.
But Graham and Tuck were already conferring in low voices as they cleared the table, making plans to go out.
“You coming out tonight?” Tuck asked, bumping right into me with his shoulder as he loaded the last of the plates into the dishwasher. It caught me off guard, and water splashed out of the pan I was scrubbing, dripping down my arms.
“No,” I said. “I’m tired.” After the way Kjell’s friends had treated me at the field earlier, I had no intention of going more than twenty feet away from the house.
“Ahab won’t be there,” Tuck said. “Or the asshole from the game today. It’ll just be a select few.”
A wave of dread washed over me. The town was so public, open to the eyes of everyone. It was so much better here, hidden in the woods, where we could see anyone approaching from miles away.
“Don’t you think you could take a night off?” I asked. “Stay in?”
Tuck eyed me like I’d just suggested we rob a bank.
“Not when there’s a girl involved,” he said.
I tried to hide the way my heart lurched at those words. Judging by Tuck’s grin, I did a terrible job.
“Not me,” he said. “But big brother isn’t that holy. And you know how determined he gets when he’s got his mind set on something. A tall, blond something.”
“Shut it, Tuck,” Graham said, approaching, empty wooden salad bowl in hand. I was surprised to note that he was blushing. Must be one fantastic girl if she could throw Graham off balance. “Why would we stay in on a night like this?” he added.
“Because I’m afraid you don’t have a choice,” Grandmother said, making all three of us jump. “You’ll have to cancel your plans, Graham. Whoever she is, believe me, she’ll understand. All three of you will stay here tonight.” Her voice sounded different. It was infused with command and the expectation of absolute obedience. Not that she hadn’t always been self-assured, but this was a whole new dimension of confidence.
She stood in the doorway to the kitchen, dressed in jeans and a long, tailored coat I’d never seen before. Was it my imagination, or had the silver streaks disappeared from her hair? She wasn’t the type of person to hide her gray, so I squinted, trying to decide if it was a trick of the light. As I did, I caught movement right outside the window. It was a raven, its black wing brushing the glass as it slid past in the darkness.
“Why can’t we go out?” Graham asked, tipping his head to the side, like he too was startled by Grandmother’s transformation. “You’ve never cared what we do.”
“On the contrary,” she said. “I’ve always cared far more than you realized. This is not open for debate.” Her voice was firm, the way a general delivers orders to her troops. “You’re welcome to do anything you want within my property lines. Scale the walls and camp out on the roof.” She gave me a pointed look. “But do not go past the fence.”
“But we have plans,�
�� Graham said, still staring at Grandmother like he wasn’t quite sure it was really her. “What’s this about?”
“A good soldier doesn’t question orders, Graham,” Grandmother informed him crisply. Then she turned and strode back toward the living room. “They follow them without hesitation,” she added over her shoulder.
“A good soldier?” Graham mouthed, raising both eyebrows. “That was just weird. This afternoon, I caught her hiding a rifle and a box of buckshot inside her winter coat in the hall closet. She claimed she’s taking up skeet shooting.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Do you think Grandmother is getting senile?”
“No, I don’t,” I said slowly. Grandmother was finally starting to tip her hand, revealing exactly how much she knew. Which meant under no circumstances could we disobey her.
“Well, she can’t just decide something like that,” Graham said.
The irony of that statement wasn’t lost on me—coming from the same person who just last month had turned down my possible date for the junior prom without even consulting me.
“Grandmother wouldn’t have done that if there weren’t a good reason,” I said. “And with everything happening around here, I kind of agree. I think it’s safer if we all stay here.”
“What ‘everything’ are you talking about?” Graham asked. “The delivery van that got a speeding ticket downtown?”
“The disappearances.” It was the first time I’d openly acknowledged it to my brother. To Tuck. I looked at them both, half expecting their mouths to hang open, aghast at this revelation. “People have been kidnapped.”
I’d kept my secrets locked away so long, it didn’t even occur to me how feeble they’d look to the outside world.
“Kidnapped?” Graham repeated, trying not to laugh at me. “We’re not twelve, Ellie.”
“Not kids,” I said. “Older boys. Your age. You must have heard about it. People just disappearing.”
“Some of the guys said something about it,” Graham said. “Trying to warn me about Valkyries or something. It was pretty weird. Look, kids get bored. Leave town. It just happens to be noticeable because Skavøpoll is small and everyone knows each other.”
He took in the frown on my face and softened his voice. “Tuck and I can handle ourselves. If Grandmother asks, we went to bed. Jet lagged. Cover for us?”
The words sent a chill all the way to my toes. I couldn’t believe he was spitting my own skeptical words back at me and sounding even more dismissive, more certain than I’d ever been that all of this was just some sort of small-town scandal blown way out of proportion. Fortunately, it didn’t matter if Graham believed in what was happening as long as I kept him there, in the house. Safe.
“No, I won’t,” I said. “And Grandmother wouldn’t have asked you to stay in without a good reason. You should listen to her.”
“I forgot how easily you get scared,” Graham said, laughing all over again. “Your eyes couldn’t get any bigger right now. Remember when you slept in the hallway three nights in a row after I let you watch that zombie movie? Mom was so mad. Don’t worry, Ellie. Tuck and I will protect you.”
I’d been seven when that had happened. Even though he’d been just nine at the time, in his mind he’d grown up while I’d remained suspended in time.
I shouldn’t have cared that he was making fun of me. It was just one more reminder that I was practically an infant in his eyes. I should have focused on the big picture—keeping him safe—and saved this fight for another day. But when he started in on another story, about the time I’d climbed a tree and been too scared to climb back down, my frustration broke free, exploding out of my mouth.
“I was really young then,” I pointed out. “And it’s not fair you’re dismissing me today because of what I did when I was seven.”
“I’m not dismissing you because of what you did then,” Graham said, laughing and trying to wrap his arm around me. “I’m dismissing what you’re saying because it’s ridiculous. Although, now that you mention it, falling for some silly stories is something you would have done when you were seven. Still such a baby.”
Tuck caught my eye and tried to hold it. He knew how that would sting. But having him acknowledge it wasn’t enough. I needed Graham to acknowledge it, too. To understand. To see me and everything I was doing, everything that I could do, all the secrets I was keeping.
“I am not,” I said, sounding far too petulant. “If you really think that, you don’t know me at all. I’m so sick of how you do this—blow off my opinion. Like I don’t know anything. Even when it’s my life we’re talking about.”
Graham’s smile faltered, like he wasn’t sure if I was kidding but desperately wanted me to be.
“What are we talking about here?” Graham said, slipping seamlessly into his patient, saintly voice. “Is this about Kjell? Because even when you’re thirty, I’ll know way more about the inner workings of the male brain than you do. But you’re not thirty. You’re sixteen. And older guys have totally different expectations than you do. Trust me on this one. It’s my job to protect you from situations like that.”
The conversation had veered wildly off course and into the last place I wanted to go with Graham. I had a million more important worries on my mind. But then I saw the look on Tuck’s face—complete and utter resignation. As if all the words Graham had said were directed right at him. And they could have been.
I thought back to last night on the roof, to how he’d pulled away from me because of Graham. I couldn’t just roll over this time.
“So you’re saying a girl my age wouldn’t be safe being alone with you? That you’d just crawl all over her and take advantage of her? Because you were spending an awful lot of time with that sophomore cheerleader last fall. Anything you want to confess?”
Tuck made a strained coughing sound.
“Ellie,” Graham said. Now his laugh sounded forced. “That’s different. You know what I mean.” He reached out and squeezed my shoulder.
“No,” I shot back, taking a step away. “I guess I don’t. Unless you mean double standards are okay when you’re on the winning side of them.”
“I’m not saying everyone is going to attack you.” He said it slowly, enunciating each word. Like I was stupid. Or, worse, too young to understand. “But there are plenty of boys your own age you can date. Plus, we don’t know anything about Kjell. And driving around with him alone, in a dark car and in a foreign country, isn’t the best place to find out.”
“Maybe sitting alone in the dark is the best place to discover exactly how trustworthy someone can be.”
Tuck’s eyes snapped to mine. They were wide, wild, and begging me to stop. It was too close to the truth. Graham turned, catching the tail end of the exchange. He frowned, and I felt a twinge of panic too as I wondered exactly how much he’d understood.
Graham switched to his best placating voice, the one that never failed. “Look, there’s no reason to get so upset. I thought we agreed on this—you’re the one who turned Kjell down. We decided he was too old for you.”
“We?” It was too much. The straw that broke the camel’s back and severed its spinal cord. “This is my life, not something decided by committee.”
“I really don’t understand,” Graham said. “I thought you didn’t like Kjell.” He glanced at Tuck for support, but Tuck was looking everywhere but at either of us.
“This has nothing to do with Kjell,” I said, forcing myself not to shout. “You’re the one who brought up Kjell. I’m saying you blow off my opinion. About going out tonight. About everything. Even when it’s about my own life. You think you can control everything. You’re even trying to control this conversation when you don’t even really know what it’s about.”
“Okay. Then tell me,” he continued in a forced-calm voice. “Please tell me what this is about.”
“I just told you!” My voice was louder than I meant it to be. But I was angry, and my temper spiraled completely out of control. “But you weren
’t listening. Because you were too busy trying to tell me who I can’t date. And as soon as we get home, it’ll be nagging about my grades. Or the SATs. You’re barely two years older than me—not twenty. It doesn’t mean you get to boss me around. It doesn’t make you Dad. It just makes you a jerk and a bully.” The moment they hit the air, I tried to suck the words back in. But it was too late. They flew across the kitchen like poison-tipped darts.
Graham winced. The carefully controlled irritation that had twisted his lips a second before was gone, replaced with wide, shocked eyes and a half-opened mouth, like my words had frozen his response in place before it could leave his lips.
“Graham,” I whispered, taking a step toward him.
He took a step back. “I think it’s best if we stop this conversation right here.” His voice was tight. Then he turned and left the kitchen. His footsteps sounded softly on the stairs as he climbed to his room.
I started to follow, desperate to explain myself. But Tuck caught my arm.
“Give him a sec,” Tuck said. “You know, there’s a middle ground somewhere in between lashing out and utter submission. Might be worth exploring.”
As if my guilt wasn’t already enough.
“I know.” My voice was smaller than a mouse. I’d made such a mess of everything—Graham did so much for me, with one parent dead and the other working all the time. I knew that. And now I’d thrown it back in his face. The weird flirtation with Tuck on the roof had ended in humiliation. And I was no closer to figuring out why people were disappearing or what my grandmother was hiding.
“Hey, hey, no reason for that.” Tuck used his thumb to smudge away the water at the corner of my eye. “It doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You got his attention. And even if it was harsh, it was something he needed to hear. Now you’ll for sure have to talk it out. Explain yourself. And you guys will come out stronger on the other side. Promise.”
I nodded and tried unsuccessfully to hold back a sniffle.
“Tell you what,” he added gently. “Sleep on it. You both should. I’ll go talk to Graham. Smooth things out.”
Valkyrie Rising Page 11
