by Janet Dailey
'Are you actually defending him?' A cynical smirk distorted his mouth. 'I imagine that Indian regrets the day you married Lije. It would be musing to hear what kind of tales he tells Lije about you when you're not around. He's one person who would probably be very happy to see the two of you split up.' His comment was very close to her own initial thoughts about Jim and her uncomfortable agreement was revealed in her face for a brief second, but long enough for Ty to see. And he didn't hesitate to seize on it. 'There's no telling what conjecture his devious mind put on our innocent cup of coffee yesterday. I'm sure he's taking his watchdog duties very seriously.'
'I think you're mistaken about Jim.' But her voice lacked certainty.
Jim Two Pony had made his dislike of her too apparent in the beginning, at least in her way of thinking. And there was no telling just how much his opinion had mellowed even though the events of the last couple of days seemed to indicate that it might have.
Ty knew his remarks had touched a vulnerable spot and he also knew when to back away when his point had been made. He very wisely chose that moment to change the subject.
'I'm curious. What brought you down here to the barn at this time of day?'
It took Diana a full second to re-focus the direction of her thoughts before she could answer. 'I came down to feed the horses.'
'You?' There was a light teasing sparkle in his voice and eyes that was reminiscent of the flirtatious side of his personality that she was accustomed to seeing.
'Why not?' she retorted, knowing that two days ago she would have voiced the same disbelief that he had just done.
Ty pushed his hat farther back on his brown head. 'Let's just say that I can't visualize you mucking out the stables.'
'In other words, you don't think I belong to the horsey set.' Laughter danced unwillingly in her eyes.
There was no doubt that Ty Spalding had a considerable amount of charm. A moment ago she had been appalled and angered by his attitude towards Indians in general and Jim Two Pony specifically. Now she found it difficult to remain indifferent to the pleasant side of his personality, perhaps because his marked attention was such a boost to her morale that had suffered some damaging blows these past weeks.
'I've met some girls who definitely belong in the horsey group,' he grinned.
'Such as?'
'Such as Patty King.'
'I met her,' Diana murmured, blinking her bewilderment at Ty. That was the name of the girl she had met in the restaurant with Lije. 'She was a very lovely girl. You could hardly describe her as horsey.'
'You met her, did you?' His question was purely rhetorical. 'She had her rope all shaken out ready to throw the loop over Lije.'
'I … I had the impression that she was fond of him.'
'Fond of him!' Ty hooted. 'That gift joined the rodeo just to be near him. Your marriage must have been quite a blow to her.'
Unbidden the thought came to Diana that if Patty had married Lije she probably would have been out on the range working right beside him instead of sitting in the house always waiting for him to come back.
'I suppose it was a surprise to her,' she agreed, straightening a bit as she spoke. 'I haven't finished feeding the horses yet, Ty, so if you'll excuse me, it's getting late.'
'What have you got left? I'll help.' He was already starting through the open doors of the barn before Diana could reply.
'There's really no need,' she said, following him inside the dimly lit building.
'I insist,' he smiled. 'You make a very beautiful stablehand, but,' his hand reached out to capture one of hers, 'I don't like the thought of these lovely hands being soiled or a nail being broken.'
'Don't be silly,' snatching her hand away from his grasp. 'I'm just as capable of doing this kind of work as anyone else, and a little dirt never hurt anyone.'
'Well, I'll help anyway.' He teased at the half-angry expression on her face. 'What's left to be done?'
It was obvious to Diana that short of ordering Ty to leave she wasn't going to persuade him to leave by any subtle method. Although she disliked his attitude towards Jim, he could be extraordinarily pleasant when he tried, and he was a friend of Lije. Heaven knew she had done quite enough to alienate her husband lately, and he wouldn't take kindly to her being rude to one of his friends. So, with a resigned sigh, she accepted the situation.
'I've already given them their grain. All that's left is the hay.'
'Those two bales won't be enough,' he observed, glancing at the hay near the door.
'I know,' she agreed sharply. 'I was just climbing the ladder to the loft to get some more when you came.'
'I'll do that while you ration out what's down here.'
Reluctantly Diana nodded agreement, walking over to the bales of hay as Ty climbed the ladder to the loft. The horse stamped restlessly in their stalls behind her, lending urgency to her fingers as she pulled at the twine holding the hay in its bales. Above her she could hear Ty walking towards the far end of the loft and she could see the hay chaff sifting through the floorboards of the loft. By the time she had distributed the first two bales Ty had tossed down more. Diana had just freed one of the bales from its twine and was turning to carry the hay to the horses when her feet became entangled in the wiry rope. With a gasping yelp of surprise, she went tumbling to the floor. Ty ignored the ladder, swinging from the opening to drop on the floor beside her.
'Are you hurt?' he asked, kneeling beside her.
'No,' she answered with a shaky laugh. The hay that had been in her hands was strewn on and around her. 'You look like a scarecrow with that hay sticking out all over you,' Ty laughed, assured that she was unharmed.
Now that the surprise of her fall had diminished, Diana was able to join in with his laughter with more merriment. She willingly placed her hand in the one he had extended to her. His hold tightened to pull her to her feet, but the silhouette that loomed in the doorway, blocking out what light the sun offered, halted both their movements. It took Diana only a split second to recognize the tall, masculine figure.
'Lije!' she gasped, scrambling to her feet without the aid of Ty's hand.
'What are you doing here, Spalding?' Lije ignored Diana, quelling the movement she had made towards him with a wintry iron glance.
'I was giving Di—your wife a hand with the horses.' His former confidence eluded Ty in the face of the bristling rancher.
'I'll furnish whatever help my wife needs.' Deliberate emphasis was placed on the two words 'my wife'.
'Did you just get back?' Her question sounded so nonsensical in the face of such an obvious answer, but Diana felt she had to say something. It was clear that Lije was putting a completely different construction on the innocent scene he had just witnessed. 'We didn't expect you back until tomorrow.'
By 'we', Diana had meant herself and Jim Two Pony. At the narrowing of her husband's gaze, she immediately wished she had been more explicit as she felt herself reddening at his look.
'That's rather obvious, isn't it?' he drawled coldly.
At his insinuation, the hair on the back of her neck began to rise with her temper. For a moment she stood silently in front of him, her back rigid with anger. 'Ty was helping me,' Diana asserted sharply.
'I think you should go up to the house and start supper.' His own anger was barely in check.
'It's getting late,' Ty inserted uncertainly. 'I'd better be getting alone, too.'
'It's strange that that thought should just occur to you now.' The uncompromising expression on Lije's face was turned on Ty. 'I think you'd better stay here for a few more minutes.' His cold grey eyes turned once again on Diana. 'I thought I told you to go up to the house.'
'Yes, you did,' she spat out sarcastically. 'But, at the time, I didn't realize that I was one of your slaves to be ordered about!'
She saw the fire flash in his eyes as she stalked past him out the door. How dared he treat her that way! Did he have so little faith in her that he thought she would be fooling around the mi
nute he was gone? If Lije thought for one minute, Diana muttered to herself as she strode furiously towards the house, that she was going to be one of those meek little wives who didn't have any backbone to stand up for herself, then he had another think coming!
Unwillingly Ty's comment about Jim Two Pony came to mind, regarding the things he could have told Lije about her. Jim knew that Ty had been to the house for coffee and Jim had also been the one who talked to Lije on the telephone the day before. It was possible that he was the one who had placed the doubts in Lije's mind about her. She hated to concede the possibility, but she had always believed that Jim didn't really want her on the ranch. A sob of pure pain rose in her throat. She had just begun to think that Jim was her friend, but it had all been a ruse, a trick.
When Diana reached the house, tears of frustration and despair were tumbling out of her blue eyes. Why was she letting herself be put through this torture? she wondered. She hated this house and the isolation and desolation of this land! She hated the loneliness of her existence! Why was she going on if her husband didn't even trust her?
'It's time for supper,' she mimicked sarcastically, removing pots and pans from the cupboard and flinging them on the stove top. 'What am I, a maid?' she demanded into the air.
There was satisfaction in the vicious rattling of the pans. With the back of her hand, Diana scrubbed the betraying tears of softness from her cheeks. She wouldn't give Lije the satisfaction of seeing her cry.
Her back was to the door when she heard it open and close. She kept it that way even when she heard Lije's footsteps carry him farther into the room.
'Supper won't be ready for another half hour, sir,' Diana added the last with a decidedly sarcastic note.
'Damn the supper!' His hand gripped her arm and spun her around to face him. His expression was ruthlessly cold. 'What I want is an explanation.'
'I don't owe you an explanation,' she retorted through gritted teeth.
'I'm gone for three days. I rush back here to apologize for not understanding and find my wife stretched out in the hay with another man, and you have the nerve to say you don't owe me an explanation!' The temper that had been firmly controlled before now ran unchecked.
'That's exactly what I am saying!' Diana let her anger flare, too, as her flashing blue eyes clashed with the rolling thunderclouds in his grey ones.
'I knew you were lonely out here,' an ominous quiet crept into his voice, 'but I never dreamt you were so desperate for attention as to do this.'
Diana never thought she would see the glittering contempt that was now in her husband's face. And the pain it caused her heart was unbelievable. She had to strike back.
'Yes, I've been lonely,' she cried. 'Who wouldn't be lonely in this godforsaken hole? There's nothing to see, nowhere to go, nobody to talk to, just nothing! And I hate it! Do you hear me? I hate it!'
Now both of his hands were gripping her shoulders, his fingers digging into the bone. 'You knew what it was like. I told you,' he growled fiercely, giving her a shake that made her teeth rattle.
'There aren't any adequate words to describe the desolation of this place,' refusing to flinch at the physical pain she was experiencing at his hands.
'This is my land, my home.'
'Congratulations,' she said sarcastically. 'You and Jim are welcome to it.'
'Jim!' he marled. 'I wondered when you'd bring his name into this. You never could stand him, could you? He's a Navajo and not quite human.'
'You've always refused to accept the fact that Jim doesn't like me,' Diana accused. 'You would take his word over mine any time, wouldn't you?'
'At least he isn't as prejudiced as you are,' Lije retorted, letting his disgust coat his words with bitter paint. 'Or as disloyal.'
'I can't stand any more of this.' Her anger gave way to sobs of frustration as she twisted to free herself from his grasp. 'You don't even try to understand how I feel! You don't even care!'
'And I suppose Ty Spalding does,' he sneered, releasing his hold and stepping away as if she were contaminated.
'He's not like you. He's human. He's capable of making mistakes.' Her chin trembled as much as her voice.
'Well,' Lije sighed heavily as his gaze roamed over her with cold disregard, 'I made one hell of a mistake when I married you.'
It felt as if a knife had been plunged in her heart and Diana gasped at the pain.
'It's a miracle, you don't blame me for that, too,' she said bitterly. 'After all, you were content to say goodbye and move on to another rodeo. I was the one who so stupidly refused to accept your decision.'
'Hindsight is always more enlightening. But it doesn't do any good to say "what if we hadn't got married?" We did and we are. The only thing that remains to be done is to get unmarried.' Lije said it so casually and matter-of-factly. 'You can forget about supper. You'll have plenty of time to pack your things tonight. Jim can take you into town tomorrow. Have your lawyer get a hold of me.'
Diana was still standing in the same place when Lije walked out the door.
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Chapter Twelve
LIJE did not come back to the house that night. Diana could only presume that he was staying in Jim Two Pony's cabin. Pride wouldn't allow her to go in search of him, to beg his forgiveness when she was guilty of nothing, except perhaps of loving him too much and having too much pride. And, in spite of the accusations she had flung at him, she did love him. But did it do any good? Had she and Lije come up against an obstacle that not even their love could surmount? Was it, as he had once said, love at the wrong place and the wrong time?
Diana went through the motions of preparing her own evening meal and even sat down at the table with the intention of eating, but her fork succeeded mostly in pushing the food around her plate. Very few morsels actually made it to her mouth. It was doubly strange to clear the table and wash the dishes with the thought always at the back of her mind that this was the last time she would be doing it. The kitchen that had always seemed so distasteful to her aesthetic eye suddenly seemed very homely. It was hard to visualize any other life.
She wandered through the rest of the house, telling herself all the time how lucky she was to be able to leave its dismal interior, but she did a terrible job of convincing herself. It didn't seem true that she was really leaving. Not even when her suitcases were dragged from the closet and lay open on the bed did it seem possible that she was. The whole thing took on the aspect of a bad dream. Diana kept thinking that any moment Lije would walk through the door and the cold ache in the area of her heart would melt away at the sight of him. But he never came.
Mechanically she filled the suitcases, her thoughts taking off on peculiar tangents considering the situation. When she removed a long hostess skirt from the closet, its rich nutty gold colour sent her wondering what the pillows on the living-room sofa would look like covered in this mutedly brilliant shade. Before she realized what she was doing, she had carried the skirt into the living-room to wrap it around one of the pillows. The effect against the brown tweed sofa was amazing. There was just enough light yellow in the material to add brightness to the room and still blend with the existing furniture. Why hadn't she thought of it before?
And again, a few minutes later, she picked up a blue silk neckscarf that had a plain border of white daisies around it. The simplicity of the flower design brought an instantaneous inspiration to decorate the metal cupboards in the kitchen by edging the cupboard doors with flowers. The Danish décor could be carried through by re-doing the kitchen table and chairs. New curtains at the window and fresh paint on the walls would … Diana put a firm brake on her thoughts. She was leaving. Lije had told her to go. Their marriage was over. Why did she persist with these thoughts about a house she would never live in again after tonight?
Very slowly, a tear trickled out of each eye until soon Diana's cheeks were deluged by the outpouring. She was entitled to a good cry, she told herself as she clicked the last suitcase shut. Sh
e had a right to cry. Hadn't her husband, the only man she could ever love, accused her wrongly of being unfaithful? Hadn't he ordered her about like some unfeeling servant? Hadn't Jim Two Pony plotted from the beginning to rid the ranch of her? She had a right to cry! But she also remembered very vividly and very guiltily that she had told Lije she hated the ranch and her life on it.
The morning sun found a tear-drenched pillow and suitcases piled beside the kitchen door. Diana sat at the table, staring at the cup of black coffee out of eyes that were ringed with dark circles. There weren't any more tears left. She felt drained of all emotion, a hollow shell of a person with nothing left inside to feel pain or anguish.
An hour before she had seen Lije from the kitchen window walking across the ranch yard to crawl into the jeep. He hadn't even glanced towards the house. As he drove out of sight, the last thread of hope that there would be a reconciliation faded out of sight with him. There wasn't even going to be a last good-bye.
The soft catlike tread on the porch floor announced the arrival of Jim Two Pony to take her away from the ranch. Diana inhaled deeply as he walked through the door, drawing her protective armour of pride more securely around her before she raised her head to meet his gaze. She expected to see gloating triumph written on his face of smug complacency, but certainly not the gentle sympathy that showed so boldly in his dark eyes. It very nearly banished her shield of pride.
'My suitcases are there by the door,' she said sharply. 'You might as well begin carrying them out to the truck.'
'Are you sure you want me to?' Jim asked quietly, his black eyes never leaving her face.
'Well, I'm certainly not about to carry them all.' Deliberately misunderstanding his question, as Diana rose to her feet. Jim hesitated for a minute more before reaching down to pick up two of the larger cases. After slipping on her jacket, she reached for her purse, then followed him out the door.
