“Why?” she whispered, pain surfacing in her eyes again, edged with anger this time.
“Why can’t I stop thinking about you?”
“No. Why shouldn’t you think about me?” Her tone had a hard edge, one that challenged him to man up and confess or face the consequences.
A woman scorned.
Not what he needed right now.
She was sending him in circles, pulling him in a thousand directions, and he wasn’t sure whether he was coming or going, or what were the right and wrong things to say.
“Because...” He raked his hair and swallowed his pride, because if he was going through with this and leaving her here, he needed her to know the reason why. He needed to be straight with her. He needed her to understand. “I don’t know what happens when I get my power back and I don’t want to set myself up for pain fiercer than I’ve felt before. I don’t want only a few days or weeks with you, Megan, and... you’ll never stick around if it turns out I can never touch you again.”
Shit, that was some hard stuff to say. She stared at him, eyes enormous, full of conflicting emotions. He wasn’t sure if she was going to cry, laugh or curse him. His hands shook so he jammed them into the pockets of his black jeans.
Her expression flitted between anger and understanding.
Anger won.
“Isn’t that for me to decide?” she snapped and stood, squaring up to him, or at least standing close to him.
It was hard to call it squaring up when she was a good ten inches shorter than he was.
He took a step backwards, into the living room. “You don’t know what you’re saying. You can’t know. You’ve never had to live with it like I have.”
She glared at him. “So you just get to decide what’s best for me? You’re scared, I get it. You think this doesn’t scare me too? A few days ago, I thought I was alone in this world, and now I know there are countless people like me... most of them more powerful... some of them gods! One of them a man that I can’t picture my life without anymore.”
He tensed and steeled his jaw, that final sentence delivered like a verbal blow to the chest, ripping his ribs open and leaving his heart exposed.
Gods. What did she want him to say? That he felt that way too? That he couldn’t imagine going back to a world where she didn’t exist and he didn’t want to do this? It wouldn’t change a godsdamned thing.
It wouldn’t change his mind.
He was already hurting badly, too much for him to bear, and he had only kissed her.
If he fell in love with her and she left him, it would destroy him.
No. It was better this ended now before it really began.
“You think you can cope with it, but think about it, Megan. Look me in the eye and swear right now that you would never feel lonely even when you were with me if you couldn’t touch me. If we couldn’t kiss... or even hold hands... or sleep in each other’s arms?”
Her expression softened and he knew she couldn’t say it. He could see it in her eyes, in the pain and the tears that swam in them, and the uncertainty. She stepped towards him and he countered her, keeping the distance between them even, and shook his head.
“This is how it has to be.” His voice cracked and he swallowed his breaking heart. “I can’t choose between you and my power... because it’s bigger than that, Megan. What you’re asking me to do is choose between you and my duty... and the future of both your world and mine depends on me performing that duty. This is bigger than you and me.”
“That isn’t what I’m doing,” she snapped, the tears on her dark lashes trembling. “I would never make you choose like that.”
He shoved his fingers through his hair and gritted his teeth, struggling for some sense of composure when the ground beneath his feet was crumbling and his whole world was falling apart.
“You might not say the words, but it’s what your heart wants, isn’t it? I know... because my heart wants it too.” He cursed the tears that filled both her eyes and his. His voice shook. “I have to get my power back, and it would be torture to remain with you then. I would never be content with only being able to see you, not touch you... or kiss you. It would kill me and it would kill you too.”
He closed the distance between them, slid his trembling hand along the curve of her jaw and tilted her head back. Her eyes met his, swimming with hurt, but she didn’t speak a word to deny what he had said.
He closed his eyes, lowered his head and kissed her softly, needing to taste her one last time even though it only pained him. His heart shattered again when she lifted her chin and returned the kiss, her lips gently caressing his, trembling against them, tasting like tears.
He couldn’t take any more.
“This would never work,” he whispered against her lips and pictured his apartment.
And stepped out of her life forever.
CHAPTER 14
Megan screamed in frustration.
She couldn’t believe Ares. He hadn’t even let her explain her own damn feelings. He had just shoved what he thought she felt at her and tried to make it stick. She growled, grabbed the nearest pillow, and beat the heck out of it until her arms ached. She had never been this mad at anyone before and there was no way she was going to just give up and let him have his way.
He might be a god and might be used to getting what he wanted and having trembling mortals obey him, but she was going to damn well stand up to him and make him listen to her.
She wanted to help him get his power back. She knew that he felt lost without it, and she didn’t want him to sacrifice anything for her sake. She didn’t give a damn about the fate of the world and the other stuff he had mentioned. She just cared about him. He was suffering without his power and she wanted to end his pain.
She threw the pillow down onto the armchair in her living room.
Her anger deflated and her shoulders sagged as the fire in her veins turned to ice.
She should have said something to him earlier. She could see that now. Her silence in the bathroom had hurt him, but shock had stolen her voice and she hadn’t known what to say to make him listen to her and stop him from taking her home. Everything had happened so fast.
She had barely had time to dress before he had come back from the gate too, and he had barely looked at her before he had pulled her into his arms and teleported to her street.
But she still should have found the time to say something. Anything. Her courage had failed her until she had been sitting on her bed, on the verge of losing him, and then it had been too late.
Because she hadn’t been brave enough to tell him she felt something, that she wanted him to give them a chance and not just give up on them, she had given him time to fill his head with nonsense and that nonsense had led to him becoming resolved to leave her no matter what.
Damn him.
Damn her too.
They were both at fault here.
There had to be a way to straighten everything out, there just had to be, because she wasn’t going to give up on them even if he already had.
His power.
It was the obstacle standing between them. He thought that she didn’t want him to get his power back and that she would leave if he did get it back. She huffed. If that was the case, then she would figure out how to help him get it back. That would prove that she had his best interests at heart, not hers.
She just wasn’t sure how to do it.
Megan paced the room, wearing out the already thin carpet. How the heck could she convince Ares that she was the right woman for him?
That kiss in the shower had blown her mind and she knew it had blown his too.
Maybe she should sleep on it and something would come to her. She looked at the bed and then turned away. There was no way she could sleep. She was too wired, too riled. It was dark out but she needed to do something, had to clear her head somehow and come up with an answer.
She mulled over how they had met, searching for any clue that might help her find
the man who had taken Ares’s power. Maybe if she could find him, she could get Ares’s power back for him. He had been French but that had been about it. She didn’t know his name and even if she had it, she didn’t exactly have shady connections like people in the movies did so she wouldn’t be able to use it to track him down.
There had to be something.
She replayed the fight in her head and slowed her pacing until she had stopped dead facing her apartment door.
The man had worn some sort of jewellery on his hand, something that had sat against his palm. It had glowed like the amulet Ares had used to open the gate. More than that, the man had worn it on the hand he had pressed against Ares’s chest when he had taken his power.
She ran into her bedroom, stripped off her dirty clothes and threw on fresh underwear, a pair of blue jeans, and a dark red camisole and matching jumper. She grabbed her old black duffel coat from her wardrobe and her spare keys and some cash from the bowl on her bookcase in the living room, and shoved her feet into her black sneakers.
She had to tell Ares about the amulet the man had worn because she had a feeling it was important.
She hastily unlocked the door, snagging a few of the chains in their slots and growing more frustrated with each attempt to free them.
It was a long way across the city to where Ares lived, but she was sure she could find his apartment. If not, she would find the gate. She was a Carrier, part Hellspawn, which meant there was a chance that it would respond to her and call Ares.
Megan slammed her door and rushed down the winding stairs. When she reached the bottom, she shoved the double doors open.
She was halfway down the stone steps when she realised she wasn’t alone.
She froze and stared at the man standing on the pavement in front of her, his hands in the pockets of his short black leather jacket and the dark grey hood of his sweat top obscuring his face. He casually lifted his head and the streetlamps illuminated the lower half of his face, revealing a thin wicked smile and his small goatee.
“Megan,” he said, French accent making her name lilt and sound exotic.
She edged backwards, slowly placing one foot on the step above, her heart beating like a jackhammer in her chest.
“What are you doing here? Ares isn’t here.” She eased up onto the step, watching the man, her blood rushing through her ears.
She fought for calm, to contain the fear beginning to rise inside her, recalling what Ares had told her. Daemons fed on fear. It strengthened them. He was already powerful enough. She had no intention of giving him a boost. If she could just keep her head, maybe she would live through this.
It was difficult to tamp down her fear though.
Impossible as she stood facing him, aware that they were the only two people on the quiet street, and that this time no gorgeous god would be coming to save her.
His smile stretched into a grin. “I know. Perfect, isn’t it?”
Perfect? Her stomach flipped and her eyes widened.
He tipped his hood back and the streetlamps cast shadows in the hollows of his cheeks and around his eyes and threw highlights along the spikes of his blond hair.
“Did you think I wanted that wretched god?” His eyes met hers, cold and dark, sending a shiver tumbling down her back and arms. “I have no interest in him. It is you I need.”
Megan turned on a pinhead, intending to race back inside the building.
The man was there in front of the doors.
She gasped and bolted down the steps, and cursed herself for forgetting he could teleport. She sprinted along the street, her heart thumping and throat closing. Her lungs squeezed but she pushed herself as hard as she could, forcing herself to keep running, desperate to escape even when it felt impossible.
She didn’t make it far.
He grabbed her arm and spun her to face him, and she fought like a wild thing, clawing and punching, kicking and struggling with all her might. She landed a hard punch on his jaw and then hit him again, knocking him backwards. She wasn’t about to die here or let him take her. His grip on her arm tightened but he didn’t fight back. She threw another right hook, smashing her knuckles into his cheek. Pain shot up her arm, but it didn’t stop her.
Her fear might give him strength but it fuelled her too, driving her to attack.
She landed a knee in his groin. He grunted and released her, and she turned, leaping into action and sprinting. Her legs quivered, weak and already exhausted.
The man appeared in front of her.
She didn’t have a chance to stop.
She slammed into him, managing to dip her shoulder at the last second so it hit him hard in the chest. The force of it drove him backwards and sent him down, and she tried to run past him but he grabbed her ankle. She crashed into the pavement, her breath leaving her on impact and pain ripping through her, tearing a grunt from her lips.
“Get off me.” She kicked at him with her free leg, catching him in the face several times.
Blood ran from his nose, covering his lips, and he growled something black and unholy, and yanked on her leg. She cried out as her hip ached and she skidded along the pavement towards him.
He released her ankle and she didn’t give him a chance to grab her again. She punched him, landing a blow between his eyes this time, and pushed onto her feet. She made it barely a few steps before she was knocked off her feet and sent flying through the air. She hit the hood of a car and lay on her back, wheezing, her head spinning.
The man slowly approached her, wobbling in her vision. He wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, clearing some of the blood away, and glared at her, his eyes glowing now. A moan escaped her and she forced herself to move, her back aching as she managed to inch backwards, away from him.
His gaze narrowed on her.
He flicked the blood off his hand.
“You are proving to be trouble, Megan. I hope you are worth it.” He raised his hand, the one that had glowed before.
In the centre of his palm, a gold disc of metal glinted, edged with red stones that shone like fire.
Megan shook her head and kept inching backwards. She couldn’t let him touch her with that. He would steal her power too.
“How do you know my name?” she said, trying to distract him and buy herself time to think of a way out of this mess.
He paused and regarded her with cold hazel eyes. “Amaury.”
She frowned and swallowed, and felt sick when she tasted metal in her mouth. “What?”
“You are thinking you do not know my name, and you think you can get away and tell your wretched god all about me. It will not happen... and I prefer to face my enemies on a level playing field. I know your name... and now you know mine.” He grabbed her ankle and yanked, dragging her off the hood of the car. A sharp strike of lightning shot up her back when her bottom hit the pavement and she kicked at him with her free leg, twisting at the same time in an attempt to break free of him.
He grinned at her.
She hit him in the balls again but he didn’t release her this time. He snapped her foot around and she cried out, clutching her leg and stilling for a second. It was all the time he needed. He was on her before she could recover, kneeling astride her with his legs trapping hers.
One of his hands closed around her throat and he pushed his weight down onto it, pinning her head against the pavement and making it difficult to breathe. He loomed over her, his hair as pale as snow in the streetlights, and crushed her throat with his fingers, pressing them in hard and throttling her.
She gasped at air, panic kicking in, and grabbed his arm, trying to prise his hand off her. He was too strong. Tears stung her eyes and she kicked her legs, breaking free of his and frantically wriggling beneath him.
He pressed more of his weight down on her throat and reached inside his leather jacket with his free hand.
Her heart stopped.
Her gaze shot to the silver blade in his hand.
He cocked his head
to one side and ran the tip of the blade down her cheek. Her eyes tried to follow it, the pain in her throat and breathing forgotten. Tears streamed down her temples and cut into her hair.
“If you won’t come quietly, I will just have to do the business right here.”
Cold realisation dawned on her and her skin prickled with ice as she stared up into his eyes.
He wasn’t going to use his amulet to steal her power.
He was going to kill her.
Amaury loomed over her with the blade and she shook her head, silently pleading him not to do it. He released her neck and smiled right into her eyes, his hazel ones glowing around their edges.
“This will only hurt for a second.”
He grasped the blade in both hands and brought it down hard towards her chest.
Megan screamed.
CHAPTER 15
Valen stood in the middle of a swath of open land, his eyes on the city stretching below him, bathed in the golden light of dawn. He couldn’t sleep. Not even the three daemons who had kindly given up their lives, allowing him to drench his hands in blood, had given him the respite he needed. He hadn’t slept in almost four days.
Not since Ares had lost his power and gone off the rails.
That was his trick, not his older brother’s one, and he didn’t like him stealing his repertoire. He prided himself on annoying Keras and now his big brother’s concern was focused firmly on his second in command.
It blew.
The fact that Ares was right about the cities and daemon uprising didn’t sit well with him either. He wanted to go to war with the animals as much as his next brother, but he had wanted to have a few more years in the mortal world before it happened. Once their mission was over, and the daemon insurgence vanquished, their father would allow them to return to the Underworld.
No more shedding daemon blood.
He would miss that.
Ares Page 19
