by Cait Ashwood
Doubt gnawed at him as the hours passed and she didn’t show up. He hadn’t thought to scan the man. Too late to be worrying about it now. You’re already here. He’d felt an odd sense of dread when he first arrived, but it had quickly passed. He wrote it off as the alien feeling of sneaking into a girl’s room, but even if it had been more sinister, he’d been here a few hours with no consequences as of yet. Now he just had to hope Lily didn’t throw him out on sight.
When her key finally scraped its way into the lock, it took everything he had not to bolt upright to greet her. He was nervous and had no idea what her reaction would be.
Lily didn’t even look around her room when she came in. She turned and immediately re-locked the door, then set her bag down by the closet. It wasn’t until she turned around that she saw him. She jumped, her hand flying to her throat, and then released an awkward chuckle.
“Stryker! You scared me.”
He tried to grin, but it felt more like a grimace. “Sorry about that, but you’ll understand why in a minute.” Now that she was finally here, she felt like a brand against his skin, a necessary evil that couldn’t be over fast enough. He noticed that her hair wasn’t fiery red anymore; she had apparently decided to take hiding out seriously, and it was now a brownish color.
Her brow creased and her eyes widened. “Stryker, are you in trouble? Is everything okay?” She took in his seated position on the floor, and that he hadn’t risen to speak with her. “Oh heavens, are you hurt?”
He was smiling like an idiot, and he knew it. She cares. Vex was wrong!
“I’m in trouble with my parents for sneaking off, but that’s not why I’m here.” He took a deep breath, preparing to tell her everything.
“Okay,” she drew the word out, taking a seat on the bed.
“Look, your brother and someone I strongly suspect to be Zeche of the Ravens know where you are, and they have for at least the past week. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re watching your room even now.”
Her eyes flew to the windows and she blanched, all of the color draining from her face.
“Don’t suddenly close the curtains or anything. You need to stick to your normal patterns and routines.”
She bit her lower lip and crossed her arms over her chest as if she’d been violated.
Let’s be honest, she has been. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it back sooner. There were... repercussions to my being out last time.”
Her eyes were still wide and she opened and closed her mouth a few times, like she’d started to speak and then thought better of it. I’m giving her too much at once, damn it.
“What--what do I do, Stryker? I don’t want to go back home, I simply can’t.” Unshed tears shone in her eyes, but Stryker couldn’t afford to feel pity for her. She was a cautionary tale for people like him, people who dared to hope they could escape their circumstances and make a better life for themselves. Everything she was going through now, she had chosen to put herself through. Stryker wasn’t that stupid, not anymore.
He shrugged, not having any sympathy for himself, or her by extension. “Sometimes the traps laid for us are too well thought out. It’ll be easier for you if you just accept your lot in life.” Like I have mine. It still felt like selling out, but what choice did he have? Zaddicus would hunt him to the ends of the earth, if only to kill him and tie up a loose end. There was no escape, and the thought of it was like dangling a steak in front of a dog. Makes you salivate and jump around like a fool, but is ultimately unattainable.
Lily’s eyebrows rose. “Give up? That’s your answer? Just... give up?”
Stryker shrugged. He really didn’t have anything else to say. If she was back home, he wouldn’t have to worry about her safety. If Zaddicus ever decided to move on the surface sect again, he’d find some way to warn her.
She paced around the room, agitated. “Look, you knew what I was. That means you’re a Seeker, right?”
He made a noise in the back of his throat that sounded like he was agreeing. He wasn’t a Seeker as she knew them, but if she was asking if he could phase, then the answer was yes.
“So, you could take me anywhere, at any time. I could slip out right under their noses.” She put her hands on her hips, her smile triumphant.
Stryker shrugged. “And what of Thunder? He’ll give you away wherever you go. And that’s assuming they haven’t called in Trackers to make sure they can find you if you manage to leave.” His memory chose that moment to cough up the odd feeling he’d had when he came into the room. He wasn’t sure what it meant, but he had the feeling they knew he was here, despite his efforts to stay hidden.
He cleared his throat. “They know I’ve been seen around you. They know what I am. If I leave with you...” he trailed off, the thought not worth finishing.
She finished it for him. “They’ll hunt you into the ground because you’re not from the Institute, are you?”
Their stares met. “No. I’m not.” And that should scare the shit out of you, but it doesn’t. She apparently was not possessed of a sense of self-preservation. “Besides, you have work here, but you wouldn’t if I took you elsewhere. Here, you’re relatively safe. I don’t have time to babysit you and make sure you don’t get into trouble somewhere else.”
The shocked look on her face made him pause, but he didn’t feel bad about the words. “If I move you, you become my responsibility.” At least if I follow Sabre’s lessons, anyway. He wasn’t so sure he subscribed to that line of reasoning, but it appeared to have the desired effect on Lily.
“I... see.” She held her hands clasped in front of her and was more poised than he would have been under the circumstances.
“I really just came to say goodbye.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Because you’re leaving, or I am?”
He shrugged. “Both, I guess. It’s too risky for me to keep coming here like this.”
Lily bit her lower lip like she was thinking something over. “Take me with you.” She paused, but he gave her time.
Didn’t we just discuss how that would be a very bad idea?
“I know you’re not happy where you are, but you’ve helped me, and I’d like to help you if you’ll let me. And if you’re a Seeker outside of the Institute, then there are others. You could find a way to keep me hidden, I know you could.”
Uh, yeah. And wouldn’t Zaddicus just love that? The thought of Zaddicus finding Lily sobered him up. “Lily, your mother fought people to free the Order for good reason. Don’t throw all of her work away because you don’t like the requirements of your blood.”
She stared at him, her mouth slightly open.
“You think your life would be any different with me? Those drugs they use, they work a little less well each time, right? Sooner or later, you’re going to have to deal with it, and it’s not going to be when you choose for it to happen. You won’t know until they don’t work.”
Lily shook her head, her eyes shining defiance. “But at least I could choose with you. Back home, there’s an ‘approved list’ of partners. I’m nothing more than a--a broodmare to them.” She crossed her arms over her chest, staring at the floor. “I just want someone to care, Stryker. Is that too much to ask for?”
His pulse hammered and he could hear every beat in his ears. Just wants someone to care. Vex’s words came screaming back at him. Wasn’t that all he wanted, too? He felt trapped, caged. His body screamed at him to move, but if he did he’d be visible through the windows.
“My world... it’s not all sunshine and daisies like you’re used to. I can’t even guarantee you’d be safe. It’s what you are, Lily, not who you are. I don’t have enough pull to ensure you get what you want.” He shook his head. She’d be no less of a breeder under Zaddicus’ care, though she would most certainly be safe. If it’s that or having her gallivanting around the world without protection... which is the greater evil?
“Sunshine and daisies? Is that what you think my life is?” She snorted, shaking her head
. “I’m the daughter of the First Lily, savior of the world and redeemer of the Order,” she paused, taking a deep breath, “and I can’t heal a damn thing.”
Stryker raised an eyebrow. Can’t heal? That doesn’t make any sense. She’s a pure blood.
“Meanwhile, my half-sister goes around purifying entire orchards like it’s no big deal. People practically worship the ground she walks on.” Her tone took on a snide, demeaning tone. “Perfect little Brana, born from the man my mother actually wanted. Not me, the daughter of desperation. It’s fitting that she got all the power, I suppose. Mother couldn’t stand it if I were the one that was so talented.”
Stryker sighed. Why does she have to keep tempting me? Stryker forced himself to imagine Zaddicus taking her, again and again for every moon, and it steadied him. “I’m not the answer to your riddle, Lily. I’m sorry.”
She blinked rapidly. “Fine.” She sniffed, trying to look tough. “I guess I should thank you for helping me out when you did.” She moved to the desk drawer and removed a pouch of coins.
Damn thing wasn’t even locked. No, the outside world was not a place she could survive, not without a lot of hard-earned lessons that she might not survive.
“I’m not taking your money, Lily. You earned it.” Things were getting awkward, fast.
She shook her head. “Don’t want me, don’t want my money... what do you want, Stryker?”
It should have been a carefully thought-out answer that didn’t shine a light on any weaknesses, but he was at the limit of his endurance. “I had to know that someone else could care.” He didn’t care if anyone saw him, didn’t even care if the folks watching the room had a Tracker. He had to leave, and he had to leave now before he did something truly stupid, like take her with him. He stood and phased out of the room without another word, her shocked face the last thing he saw.
Chapter Sixteen
Rowan was up in the hayloft, again. Watching Lily work had long since lost its appeal but they couldn’t afford to lose her, which meant watching her 24/7. That kid needs to hurry up and show back up. This shit is getting boring. Not to mention that his half-brother had been getting increasingly annoying about bringing Lily back home. He didn’t like her being out here, and Rowan didn’t entirely trust him to keep his trap shut about it. While the kid was technically ‘with’ them, he still had to sleep and do some duties at home to keep suspicions down. That was entirely too much time around people that would whisk Lily off without a care to the bigger picture.
As if summoned by his thoughts, Jasper appeared at the entrance to the stables. He seemed flushed and was fully armed, something Rowan hadn’t seen since the night they’d met. Apparently, trainees weren’t usually allowed their weapons outside of practice hours. His eyes flashed green and he zeroed in on Rowan in the hayloft immediately.
“The wards have been broken.”
Rowan blinked, crawling to the other side of the loft where he could see Lily out in the pasture with the horses. But she’s not there. He must know we’re watching her. Damn it. Zeche doesn’t watch the place during the day.
“You there, boy! Just what do you think you’re doing with my horses?”
Jasper cursed under his breath, ducking around the corner and phasing out, again making a strange gesture with something in his hand before he left. Harriet moved to follow him out, but stopped in the doorway, looking left and right.
“Damned kids,” she muttered, giving up and coming back in to check on the few horses that were in the stalls.
I’ve gotta find Zeche, but first I have to make sure Jasper isn’t doing something stupid.
Turns out, he shouldn’t have worried. When Rowan phased back to the inn, Jasper flashed his eyes from the window of the run-down hovel across the street.
His voice was low and direct. “Where’s our fearless leader? I assume we can’t act without him.” The words were said with sarcasm, but at least the little shit was listening and understood the chain of command.
“I’m going to wake him up. Had to make sure you weren’t going to rush in there, first.”
Jasper waved a hand at him dismissively, his eyes glued on Lily’s window across the way.
Right. Hope I don’t regret this. Rowan phased to Zeche’s last known location to fetch his master.
They were back in the hovel in next to no time, and Jasper’s intensity hadn’t wavered.
“Hound is going to be pissed when he sees how many trails are around here.” Jasper shook his head. The boy had spent a few nights going over some of the fresher trails, doing some Tracker shit to erase the evidence of his passing. Apparently, that trick didn’t work on older jumps, though, which was a shame.
“Teach me how to cover my tracks, and it won’t be an issue.” Rowan knew he was going to turn him down before the kid even spoke.
“Can’t. You ever get in trouble, we need to be able to find you. Plus, the devices are very carefully monitored. I couldn’t lift one if I tried, which, to be clear, I’m not going to.”
Rowan huffed as Zeche moved about, staring up at the room. “Rowan, get back to the stables. We don’t know who’s activated the wards yet, so we need to keep eyes on her.”
Rowan’s eyes shifted between Zeche and Jasper, hesitating for just a moment. “Got it.” All things told, Lily might bolt if she saw her half-brother. And my temper is too bad with our target. This is probably the better arrangement. Just because it made tactical sense didn’t make the bitter pill any easier to swallow. The stables weren’t all that far and with Jasper being as pissy as he was with the phasing, Rowan decided to hoof it. If he heard a disturbance, he could always phase at any time.
As it happened, Jasper showed up not long after he’d resumed his usual post. He phased directly into the loft, scaring the ever-living shit out of Rowan. The kid hunkered down into the hay, apparently not bothered by it at all.
“I have to go back to the Tower. Zeche wants you to go for Hound, and it’ll look strange if I’m not there. He prefers to have me near Brana if he ever has to leave.” The kid wasn’t trying to brag, but the trust that even his elders had for him was something Rowan knew not to take for granted.
“How much lead time do you need?” No sense in them both showing up at once. Not to mention that Rowan would likely have to go through the official channels to get access to Hound.
“A few minutes tops.” Jasper moved to leave, then turned back. “Uh, probably shouldn’t have to say this, but I’ve never seen you before in my life.”
Rowan chuckled at that. “Not a rookie, kid, but thanks.”
Jasper nodded curtly and moved a short distance away, somehow managing not to make the rickety floor of the hayloft creak beneath him. He made his typical gesture, then vanished.
Only one problem with this plan. No eyes on Lily.
A raven cawed outside. It wasn’t horribly unusual, given their location and the fact that Ebonwallowe was the home of the Ravens. Rowan peeked above the window of the loft, looking for a source. Could be it wasn’t even meant for him. After a moment, he picked out Zeche’s shadow in the side of a building, mainly because the assassin moved slightly to help Rowan find him. He nodded, the pressure off. Now he just had to go to his mother’s house, pick up her male concubine that refused to lead the Seekers, and head back here to ‘track’ their target when he left.
Knowing the Tower from afar and being familiar with all the guard patterns was different from actually arriving there as an outsider. He’d studied diagrams and knew the specs probably better than most of the inhabitants, but as multiple crossbows were aimed at his chest and an alarm sounded, Rowan would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a bit threatened.
Guards rushed everywhere, and even a few of the Lilies were running for weapons. Any children were quickly tucked away and hidden, and more than a few bows appeared in the windows of the Tower. Four guards on horseback thundered to the gate, bristling with weapons and armor.
“State your business.” The woman h
ad no-nonsense stamped all over her. Her helm was currently held under her arm, revealing her short haircut and an alarming number of facial scars. Her sword sat bare across her lap. Riders next to her had a variety of distance weapons, mainly lances and javelins, so she apparently didn’t feel the need to skewer him.
Rowan’s eyes flicked nervously to the wall above the gate. If even half of them got an itchy trigger finger, he was going to look like a porcupine. This kind of response is a good thing. It means they’re safe here. It was an easy thing to think, but it didn’t slow his pulse down one bit. A familiar face planted itself in front of the main door to the inner tower, joining the group of Seekers that stood there with blades bared. Jasper gave him a quick wink that wasn’t nearly as heartening as the kid likely intended for it to be.
“Watcher Rowan, here to request Tracker Hound’s services in Ebonwallowe, with all haste.”
The woman glanced at one of the mounted men beside her. The man’s eyes flashed green, then purple, and he nodded at his captain. She turned her head to the side, her eyes not leaving Rowan.
“You heard the boy. Call the commander.” She turned back, regarding Rowan with steely eyes.
“No need, I’m already here.” Hound strode out of the guard house, dark bags under his eyes. His uniform seemed larger on him than Rowan remembered. Why isn’t he eating? Lily isn’t even his kid.
Rowan shook his head as the commander waved away the bulk of the response force. All-clear calls went out around the Tower, and life slowly started returning to normal. The Seekers at the front were slower to disperse, keeping a wary eye on the stranger at their gates. Guards moved to either side of the gate and the cranks slowly came to life. The portcullis rose slowly, inch by inch, and Hound stifled a yawn as it went up.
Rowan ducked under it as soon as he was able, scanning the middle area as soon as he was through. His eyes felt drawn to the top of the tower, but he refused to look. If his mother wanted to pretend he didn’t exist, that was something he was just going to have to live with. She’s not worth my time. The yearning didn’t cease, however, and it pissed him off.
