Everything
She Needs
K.L. Shandwick
Everything Trilogy
Reading Order
Enough Isn’t everything
Everything She Needs
Everything I Want
Published in 2014 by K.L.Shandwick
Copyright © K.L.Shandwick The author of the book
First Edition
The author has asserted their moral right under the
Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988, to be identified
as the author of this work.
All Rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, copied, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written consent of the copyright holder, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
Ebook Cover Design by Russell Cleary
Disclaimer: This ebook has explicit reference to sexual situations and is intended for adult readers aged 18+.
This ebook is a work of fiction, Names, places, characters, band names and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or names are used within the fictitious setting. Any resemblance to actual person’s living or dead. Band names or locales are entirely coincidental.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER 1 – HOMEWARD BOUND
CHAPTER 2 – FESTIVE GREETINGS
CHAPTER 3 – PARTY NIGHT
CHAPTER 4 – OLD FRIENDS
CHAPTER 5 – GETTING WET
CHAPTER 6 – JEALOUSY REIGNS
CHAPTER 7 – DIFFERENT VIBE
CHAPTER 8 – TAKING A CHANCE
CHAPTER 9 – BEER BOTTLES
CHAPTER 10 – AT MY PACE
CHAPTER 11 – FITTING IN
CHAPTER 12 – PREFERENCES
CHAPTER 13 – RESTRAINT TRAINING
CHAPTER 14 – ALL LOVED UP
CHAPTER 15 – NEW YEAR
CHAPTER 16 – EVASIVE TACTICS
CHAPTER 17 – RUNNING
CHAPTER 18 – COMING CLEAN
CHAPTER 19 – PRIORITIES
CHAPTER 20 – GOOD TIMES
CHAPTER 21 – CONFESSIONS
CHAPTER 22 – TAKING CHANCES
CHAPTER 23 – EXHIBITIONISTS
CHAPTER 24 – IS THAT REALLY ME?
CHAPTER 25 – SIGNED
CHAPTER 26 – SEEING POTENTIAL
CHAPTER 27 – AUDITION
CHAPTER 28 – ACCEPTANCE
CHAPTER 29 – ANOTHER LEVEL
CHAPTER 30 – DEVASTATED
CHAPTER 31 – SHOCKS AND AFTERSHOCKS
CHAPTER 32 – HEY
CHAPTER 33 – TRUTHS AND LIES
CHAPTER 34 – CLOAK OF DARKNESS
CHAPTER 35 – WORKING IT OUT
CHAPTER 36 – WOOING
CHAPTER 37 – US
CHAPTER 38 – ALONE AGAIN
DEDICATION
CHAPTER 1 – HOMEWARD BOUND
“Lily, honey, you should at least try to fight this. You need to come and eat. You know jet lag will keep you awake again if you don’t.” My mom’s voice reminded me I was home.
“Elle rang. She’ll be here in a minute, so I want you to get yourself out of bed and shower. Oh, and I’m going to put the light on to help you stay awake.”
My mother flicked the switch with a click, and the ceiling light blared down at me. I felt assaulted by the strength of the light on my weary, bloodshot eyes. I pulled the duvet up over my head as I struggled to find the willpower to drag my sorry ass out of bed.
I rolled over and squinted at the clock by my bedside; it read 5:00 It was only five pm? My eyes rolled shut again. I was going to have to make it through several hours of questioning about the last three months of my life, by the three people who knew me better than most.
I would definitely have to have my wits about me for that, otherwise they’d know what a clusterfuck I’d been making of my life in Florida since I went there to study.
To be honest, my mind was in such a mess that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to face all the shit I’d brought on myself since going to live with my longtime friend Saffy, and her friend Holly, in Miami.
I turned on the shower faucet and tested the water with my hand. The temperature was just right. I stood underneath the spray, anticipating the questions my parents and Elle, my friend since I was ten years old, might ask. I tried to formulate some answers that would sound convincing.
Stepping out of the shower on to the fluffy shower mat, I wrapped a baby blue towel around my body before padding back through to my bedroom.
Even with the central heating on, I was shivering and missed the warm air of Miami. When I left there to fly home, it was still regularly hitting seventy degrees Fahrenheit. I would be lucky if it was twenty-five here.
I rummaged through my purse to find my cell phone. The battery had died just after I’d spoken with the driver my parents had sent to pick me up. I flew into Heathrow International on the overnight flight from Miami and was relieved to discover that the final part of the journey had been taken care of for me.
I was conscious that I hadn’t rung Will yet to let him know I’d arrived home safely. I promised I would, but I was just so dog tired I collapsed into bed as soon as I saw it.
Since meeting Will, my studies in Florida had taken a turn for the better. I met him and my other, now close, friends Mandy and Neil on my first day on campus at Miami University. They were all music majors like me, and Will, in particular, formed a musical alliance with me, which had pushed me to grow as a musician and even more as a performer.
Although Will had driven me to the airport, some complex issues had arisen during my last week in college that left our collaboration in the balance. We had been to a beach bonfire party for Mandy’s birthday, organized by Neil, her boyfriend.
Will was dating Saffy, my friend and roommate. He had met her through me, at a gig I took her along to, the first night of college. Saffy has been my best friend stateside since I was fourteen. She was a US citizen, and I realized a longterm plan to share an apartment with her three months ago when I went to study there.
I’ve been nursing a massive guilt complex around Saffy and felt like a shitty friend. I had oral sex with Will after he initially mistook me for Saffy when I was asleep in his bed. It was a long story.
Saffy had gone home from the bonfire party after arguing with Will. So, as the designated driver for the party, I took him home.
He was so drunk he was just put to sleep on the couch. As he was so out of it, I decided to stay and check on him so that he didn’t choke or anything during the night.
Ironically, it was me that nearly choked when I was awoken from what I initially thought was an erotic dream, about a guy I had previously been in a relationship with, only to find Will performing oral sex on me.
I thought about blaming it on the alcohol, what transpired between us next, but I guess no amount of alcohol made what Will and I did okay. If I was Saffy, I knew I’d hate to have a friend like me.
My weakness with Will was yet another monumental fuck-up in my life. I seemed to be so proficient at making them ever since becoming involved in sexual relationships.
These crap decisions had no rhyme or reason to them, and I seemed to be incapable of showing any sort of backbone when it came to resisting a man’s sexual advances.
I plugged the charger into the wall and my cell phone and went to my wardrobe to find some warm clothing to wear. I pulled out a jade green cashmere sweater and some skinny jeans, shivering as I pulled on my underwear, and dre
ssed quickly.
My jeans were a little loose. I’d lost about seven pounds since I became responsible for feeding myself. I still felt tired, but when I caught sight of myself in the mirror, my mouth curled in a half smile. My skin glowed from my tan, and I had a healthy look about me. I headed to the kitchen to see my parents.
Dad pushed the chair back, making a scraping sound as he stood, and made his way toward me. His mouth curled into a smile that lit up his face. “Hello darling, I’ve missed you so much.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a bear hug.
I clung tightly to my dad’s waist, not caring that the woolen sweater my dad hated to wear, but my mum insisted on buying him, was scratching my cheek. The fibers smelled musky and like the fabric softener my mum added to absolutely everything.
Cuddling my dad felt amazing. His strong arms made me feel safe, and it took everything I had not to burst into tears after the emotional turmoil I had been in for the past three months.
He pushed himself away and asked, “Hungry, love? You need to eat something. Mum has made some pasta and sauces, or I could make you an omelette?” I smiled warmly, thankful that my parents were so sweet and supportive of me. “Pasta sounds great, Dad.”
As he sprung to life, getting dinner ready, the doorbell chimed, and I heard the front door open and close. “Hey, Roslyn is she up and about now?” My heart sped with excitement, Elle had arrived. I jumped out of my chair and opened the kitchen door to see her running along the hallway with open arms. “Lily!” She grabbed me and hugged me off of my feet.
Giggling, she set me down then did a little happy dance in front of me. Elle had an amazing personality, so bubbly and funny, everyone loved her. I was just in awe of her. She and Jack, my best male friend, were special to me, and I was so lucky to have them in my life.
Elle studied dance and was currently in a West End production of ‘Boxed Fire’, a fast paced musical with some well-known stage and screen actors.
The musical was a bit like ‘Moulin Rouge’, with burlesque dancers, and Elle was the current lead. I was so proud of her. It had been her dream to dance on a West End stage since the moment I’d met her. So I wasn’t surprised by her success.
I was ashamed that I hadn’t made more of an effort to keep in touch with her or Jack since moving. My life had taken turns I never expected, and I seemed to be involved in one drama after another.
There was also the small matter of my relationship, or non-relationship, with Alfie. He was the guy I met on campus during the induction day and registration prior to actually starting my first day proper on campus.
Just thinking about him gave me a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and squeezed my heart. I struggled with my feelings about him on the flight all the way home.
I knew what I was doing by placing the space between us. It didn’t stop me from feeling bereft at not being able to catch glimpses of him though. Especially since I’d fled back to the UK for Christmas as a precaution.
I sometimes wished I’d never met him. Alfie was drop-dead gorgeous, and had a sexy charm. I would defy any woman not to drop their panties for him.
The thing was, he had been a total mind fuck. He didn’t do emotional relationships, but had played with my heart. The mind games he played had me seriously worrying about my own mental health at times.
Alfie did warn me not to become emotionally involved, and I absolutely fell for him in spite of it. I currently didn’t know whether my head or my cracked heart would ever recover after being with him.
Alfie had made a proposition that the old Lily, as naïve as I was, would have laughed at. I would have sent him packing, telling him to get over himself; he wasn’t all that. But then again…he was.
So, I have no clue what I was thinking, apart from getting laid by an exceptionally hot rock-star in the making.
The circumstances that followed led me into a car crash of a relationship with him. Why I agreed to a friend-with-benefits relationship, or to be his ‘fuck buddy’, was beyond my comprehension.
So, I had run back to the safety of London and my friends and family, whilst I figured out how to deal with everything that had happened since the summer.
Elle chatted easily through dinner and had brought an overnight bag with her. She was staying the night to help get me back on track with the time change.
She only had three days off, which was today, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day, but was back in her West End role the day after, also known as Boxing Day in the UK.
I sat through all the questions parents usually had, such as am I eating, sleeping, going to bed early enough? Was I happy? How were my end of term finals? Did I have a boyfriend yet?
My dad was still of the opinion that I was as pure as the driven snow. If only he knew about the four men I’d slept with in recent months. He’d have me chained up and locked in a dark room, and there would be nothing remotely kinky in his mind when he did it.
My dad, Charlie, was a freelance helicopter pilot. With an intimate knowledge of the skies around London, he had carried some interesting passengers during the past three months.
His passengers were the business elite, flying into airports near the city on their Cessnas, where he’d then ferry them on to their final meetings, or he’d take the celebrities around the country from one event to another. He brought me up-to-date with the tales of his latest passengers.
I couldn’t stay focused on the conversation. Jet lag was kicking in again. My mother suggested that Elle and I take a walk in the night air.
I complained at the thought of traipsing out in the cold, just to stay awake, but Elle looked so keen to have me to herself that I agreed. As soon as we were outside I told her we were headed to the pub at the end of the road and no further.
We settled into the faux red velvet, slightly stained seats in the pub. I had a glass of cider in my hand, which was all I had the stomach for, whilst Elle bought a large gin and tonic, giving me a questioning look.
“What? I’m on holiday!” she cried, reading my mind at her ordering a large drink. “Okay, dish what’s really been going on with you?”
My eyes widened, and my mouth gaped. “What are you talking about? I just told you what was happening back there.” I motioned my thumb over my shoulder in the direction of my parent’s house.
“Lily, I know you better than you know yourself. That was the official version.” She made the quotes with her fingers. “I want the warts-and-all version.” I sighed and smiled. She was right, and anyway, I couldn’t keep anything from her. She was my sounding board.
“Well, what do you want to know about first, my ‘fuck buddy’ relationship with a gorgeous, charismatic soon to be rock-god? The dirty fling I had with a handsome cowboy who left me to run back to his secret woman in Nashville? Or betraying Saffy when her boyfriend mistook me for her and performed oral sex on me? Take your pick.”
Elle burst out laughing. “Damn you’re too good, Lily. Did you think all of that up on the plane?” She held her sides, laughing noisily and wiping tears from her eyes.
Before long, she had the attention of everyone in the bar. I cringed that my life was so hysterically funny that it seemed unbelievable, even to someone who knew me better than most.
She leaned over and hugged me. “See, this is what I missed! You are so adorable honey, but any one of those scenarios is a storyline too far for you.”
CHAPTER 2 – FESTIVE GREETINGS
Elle drank three more large gin and tonics by 9:30pm and got really drunk. The cold air must have made her blood thinner or something, increasing the effects of the alcohol in her. By the time we reached my front door, she was staggering.
“How the hell did she manage to get in that state in so little time?” my mom asked, shaking her head in disbelief at Elle’s condition, as she stumbled into the bathroom.
As I turned to answer, I caught a glimpse of Elle perching herself on the toilet seat with the door wide open. Her pink lacy panties were around her
ankles and she hung on to the sides of the toilet seat trying to keep upright.
“Lily, be honest with me,” Elle slurred. “Does this varnish clash with these panties?” My mother had an attack of the giggles.
“Sweetheart, I think it’s time we got you to bed,” my mom told her.
Once Elle was in my bedroom, she attempted to put on her pyjamas, buttoning down the top, mismatching the buttons with the button holes. After the second attempt she left it like that. “Fuck it, this top has been manufactured wrongly,” she reasoned.
I smirked and mentally stored her comment to tease her with another time. I helped her into bed, and she started getting all sentimental.
“I’ve missed you so much, Lily. I can’t live without you.” She began to cry.
“Elle, you were supposed to be keeping me awake, not get drunk.”
Elle sighed and sniffled. “Are you asleep?”
I giggled at her. “Nope.”
She muttered, “So… what are you complaining about? I’ve done my job,” before slipping into a drunken coma.
I leaned over and grabbed my tablet from her side of the bed to check my email messages before going to sleep. As soon as I saw his name I wished I hadn’t bothered. There was an email from Alfie.
Alfie Black: There seems to be something wrong with your cell. I have tried to call you, where are you? Call me. I need to talk to you.
Damn, I forgot my college email address would be easy for him to find. My heart sank as I switched off my tablet. Two lines of an email and I was feeling low again. I stayed strong and fought the urge to answer him back. It took me an age to fall asleep afterwards because my mind began going over everything that happened with him, again, until I finally fell asleep exhausted.
It was late morning when I heard a loud groan and Elle’s barely there-voice. “Oh, Christ, I’m dying.”
I woke up thinking, WTF, still disorientated, and remembered that the warm legs strewn over mine were Elle’s. “Morning, Elle.” I tried to shout loudly, but it came out croaky because my throat wasn’t fully awake yet.
Everything She Needs (The Everything Trilogy) Page 1
