“It was a good tactic,” Rock said. “I’ll have to remember it for next time.”
“But you can’t fit under the bed,” Gavin said.
“But I can fit in your closet,” Rock said with a grin.
“The stuff of nightmares,” I said, giggling.
His eyes gravitated back towards me before they danced along my face.
“Can Rock stay and play some more?” Gavin asked.
“Well, now that you’ve officially proven that he’s feeling better, I’m sure he has some things he needs to get going and doing,” I said. “Like work.”
“You work?” Gavin asked.
“I do,” Rock said.
“Where do you work?” my son asked.
“Skinned and Skulled Mechanic Shop,” Rock asked.
I winced at the name as my son gasped.
“You fix cars? That’s so cool! I wish I could fix cars,” Gavin said.
“Then maybe I could bring a car over one day and show you a few things,” Rock said. “If that’s all right with Momma.”
“Please, Mommy? Please, please, please, please, please?”
My cheeks flushed as Rock graced me with one of those playful grins of his.
“We’ll see, okay? I promise,” I said.
“Aww, that always means ‘no’,” Gavin said.
“Then you need to listen to your momma,” Rock said.
“She’s no fun,” Gavin said.
“Hey, look at me.”
I looked over at Rock just like my son did. I watched him eye Gavin with a hardened stare that forced Gavin to focus on him. I furrowed my brow as Rock reached out, placing his gigantic hand over my son’s.
“Momma’s always have reasons for what they do. Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean you get to disrespect her. I know for a fact your mother is tons of fun. But she wants to do right by you and make sure you’re safe. Now apologize.”
My jaw dropped in shock before my eyes panned over to my son.
“Sorry, Mom.”
“It’s okay, sweet boy,” I said. “If you want to learn how to fix cars, then we’ll find a way to do it. I’m not sure about bringing some beat-up vehicle here, but we’ll figure out something. Okay? That’s all I meant.”
“Really?” Gavin asked.
Watching his eyes light up only made him look more like the man holding his hand.
“Really,” I said with a smile.
“You’re the best, Mom!”
“I love you. Now eat. It’s time for this lunch you pestered me about so much,” I said with a wink.
We ate in relative silence as appreciative hums filled my small kitchen. Rock went back for seconds and my son followed suit, and watching them together only served to solidify the fact that the man might as well have carried him for nine months on his own. Getting Gavin around his father only erased the small little bits of me he had. They walked the same. Smiled the same. Even held their silverware the same.
It was uncanny.
A cell phone rang out and I watched Rock shift at the table. He looked at it with a furrowed brow before taking the call, then got up and walked away from the table. Gavin’s eyes followed him before he tried to get up from his chair, but I reached my hand out for him and caught him before he ran after the man.
“Where’s he going?” he asked.
“He’s talking. That’s it. Finish up your food, okay?” I asked.
But I knew who was calling. And I knew what was about to happen.
I didn’t focus on the conversation. All I focused on was my food. I didn’t want to hear what they were talking about because I didn’t want to ruin this moment between our family. I picked at my plate as my hunger dissipated, so I reached for my water and took a few sips. I sat back in my chair and closed my eyes while Gavin cleared his plate, then he rushed to toss it into the sink before running off to find Rock.
His heart was about to be broken.
“Where are you going?” Gavin asked.
“Remember that work I told you about?” Rock asked.
I pushed away from the table and started for the foyer.
“Yeah?” Gavin asked.
“They called. I gotta go in today,” Rock said.
“But you’re sick. Right?”
“Well, you proved to me that I’m feeling a lot better. So, I’m going to go in and try to knock out some work with my colleagues.”
Colleagues.
An interesting name to use for his club.
“Are you going to come back?” Gavin asked.
Rock’s eyes panned over to me before he crouched down to eye level with his son.
“If Momma lets me, then sure,” Rock said. “I’d be glad to come back over.”
“Can he, Mom? Please!?”
“Can you go upstairs, sweet boy?” I asked.
“Mom, don’t chase him away. I like him,” Gavin said.
“Upstairs. Now.”
“Mommy, don’t do it. Make him stay,” Gavin said.
“Listen to your mom,” Rock said.
“But she always does this! A nice guy comes around and then she talks to them and I never see them again! Why can’t he stay, Mom?” Gavin asked.
“Because he has to go to work, honey,” I said.
“But he’s sick.”
Tears rushed my son’s eyes and it shattered my heart. I felt Rock’s stare running up and down my body as I scooped my son into my arms. He was tired. He always got that way after a full stomach. I walked him up the stairs and settled him down into his bed as tears poured down his cheeks. I tucked him in and brushed the tear trails away, then kissed his forehead before nuzzling my nose against his.
“Don’t make him leave,” Gavin said.
“I love you, sweet boy.”
I turned off the lights and shut his bedroom door as my heart fell to pieces on the floor. I made my way back downstairs and watched as Rock tossed his leather jacket over his shoulders. The emblem of the Dead Souls was emblazoned on the back of it and I knew I had made the right decision all those years ago. Maybe Rock wasn’t an angry son of a bitch. Maybe he wasn’t an aggressive man. But he was part of a gang. A motorcycle crew that constantly delved into the illegal and dark side of life.
That was no place for a child. Or a mother.
“Was that the lodge?” I asked.
Rock looked at me over his shoulder as I leaned against the railing of the stairs.
“Nice guys?” Rock asked.
“Don’t do that,” I said.
“Gavin was the one that said it. Not me,” he said.
“Was that the lodge?” I asked again.
“More or less.”
“So, you really are still part of them.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Except for with my son.”
I bit down onto the inside of my cheek as he fluffed out his coat. He turned around to look at me and I saw the curiosity rolling around in his stare. And I knew he wouldn’t stop looking at me like that until I fed him the answer he wanted to hear.
“I’ve dated twice since Gavin was born. The first he met on accident, the second brought him a gift. Gavin thought they were nice, but they weren’t,” I said.
Rock’s jaw clenched as his hands curled into fists.
“I’m fine. He’s fine. We’re all fine,” I said.
“I’m not fine,” Rock said. “But I also have to go.”
“I figured.”
“I’d like to see you and Gavin again.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I said.
“Why? Because I’m still part of my club?”
“One of many, yes.”
“I want to be part of my son’s life, Piper.”
“And it’s going to take more than an hour of playtime to prove that, Rock. Being a parent is more than running around before rushing off to ride bikes with friends.”
“You know damn good and well that isn’t what we do.”
“Yeah. I
know. And that’s what scares me. I’m not sure you’re capable of protecting us from the life you lead,” I said.
“You what?” he asked.
“I’m a mother now, Rock. It isn’t just about me any longer. I have to protect my son.”
“From his father?”
“No,” I said. “From the life his father leads.”
Rock took a few steps toward me before looming over me. Looking down upon me with that hardened stare of his. But Rock didn’t scare me. He never had. Deep down, he was a sensuous and caring man. But his jagged edges and his tainted history hardened him to the world that existed around him.
I couldn't take the chance that my son would reap the negative benefits of the life Rock led.
“I’ll prove to you it’s a good idea,” he said. “I want to be a part of Gavin’s life, and I think I have the right to fight for that.”
“If that’s how you feel, then that’s fine. But right now? It’s not a good idea. Not with the life you lead, not with the life I lead, and not with the life it will throw Gavin into.”
“We’re changing, Piper. Cleaning up our act,” he said.
“Then do that. Clean up your act. Become more legitimate if that’s what you want. But until I know my son and I will be safe, I can’t let you around him. I’m first and foremost a mother. And that means I have to protect my son.”
“Even at his expense?”
“Especially at his expense,” I said.
Chapter 11
Rock
Diesel had been on the other end of the line rattling off about how he’d just gone to see Brewer and that he figured I should go talk to him. I had no idea what the fuck that meant, but it didn’t sound good. And I figured I could use the time to talk with my best friend about the shit show I’d just discovered about my own fucking life.
So, I told Diesel I’d be over there as soon as I fucking could.
Piper did do a great job on my bike. The dents were smoothed over and the engine ran like a fucking charm. The handles were still a little bent and the outside needed a fresh coat of paint, but the thing still ran as if I’d never crashed it. That had been one of her allures. Watching that thick ass of hers jut out from underneath the hood of a fucking car always got my engines roaring. One of the hottest encounters I’d ever had with her was pulling her fucking pants down right there in the damn garage and sliding it in while the guys went out for fucking lunch.
Shit. I felt my cock throbbing just thinking about it.
I rode down the highway, trying to center my mind as much as I could. As I was riding, Brewer called me about some shit he had on his mind, and I told him I was already on my way to see him. Plus, I knew Diesel would be calling church anytime now, so technically I hadn’t lied to Piper. But the last thing I wanted her to do was ask about Brewer and how he was doing. Because then I wouldn’t be able to cover up the real shit we’d gotten ourselves into. She had a point about my ability to keep her safe. I knew I fucking could, but I knew it would also be hard and disrupt her and Gavin’s life.
I knew the life I led wasn’t for a family. It wasn’t for a son. It didn’t give me the type of freedom Piper got with her job. I got it. I understood it. But that shit wasn’t keeping me away from my fucking son. I had a son. A family I’d created. And I’d be damned if I was going to let them go another fucking second without being taken care of in any which way they needed. It was obvious Gavin craved that kind of male bonding attention, and I was the only one suited to give that to him.
Me.
His fucking father.
I revved my engine as I roared down the road, heading straight for Brewer’s. Hopefully Makenna and Ana would be gone. Because I would need the time with my friend to vent my frustrations and dig through the meat of this situation.
Holy shit. I had a son.
I couldn't believe it. I had a kid. A child. After ragging on the guys all the damn time about getting their women pregnant, I was the fucking first one to do it. And I didn’t even know it! Now more than ever, I wanted to make things right with Piper and I. My heart wanted to show her I was capable of protecting her and my soul wanted to show her I was capable of being the father Gavin needed in his life. But there were many points she made I couldn't refute. Like my life being dangerous. And it being no place for her and Gavin. I agreed with that shit. I got behind that shit.
Which meant I had to figure out all the shit with my club before I stood a fucking chance.
I didn’t want to put them in danger. Especially after I’d been run off the road in front of their damn house. That was intentional. I knew it was. Someone tried to kill me that night and it was blatantly obvious who it was. The Black Saddles were out for blood. Any blood they could take.
Which meant if they knew Gavin and Piper were associated with me, then their blood was just as acceptable.
My hands gripped the bent handlebars as I turned into Brewer’s neighborhood. He was the only one of us who lived in a decent fucking house. We always used to tease him about it. How he was selling himself off to suburbia and soon he’d be wearing those fucking sweaters tied around his damn neck. But the place was cozy and did have a lot of greenery around it despite the deserted dust of the town of Redding.
I came to a stop at a stop sign and took a second to breathe.
My head still hurt and my body still ached, but not to the extent it had. Driving farther away made me miss them. Made me miss Gavin’s giggle and Piper’s smile. The look on her face when I told her I was still associated with my gang made me sick. She used to adore me for that quality. It turned her on when we were younger to know I was a part of a crew somewhere. A gang of men that kicked up shit and took care of their own with whatever means necessary.
Piper looked the same, but she had changed fundamentally.
Which meant I had to get to know the new Piper because she’d never consider letting me back in.
I pulled away from the stop sign and took a left as I ventured toward Brewer’s house. Well, Makenna’s. But still. I had a feeling the two of them would be combining houses soon anyway. And knowing Makenna’s powerful attitude--and the shit that went down at Brewer’s--she would be making him move in with her. Which made sense. I guess. If people were into that kind of thing.
I found myself wondering if I could be into that kind of thing.
I pulled into Makenna’s driveway and looked over at Brewer’s house. Flashes of that night came back. Flashes that forced me to side with Piper more than I wanted to. The blood that coated the carpets. The two dead bodies I stepped over to try and find Brewer that night. The way his eyes were unfocused and wide as he came stumbling down the stairs. The way he gurgled on his own fucking blood before passing out against me.
That was no life for a beautiful woman and a little boy.
I shut off my bike and kicked down the stand, but I didn’t go to the front door. I needed to take a second to breath. I closed my eyes and replayed the crash, trying to pull as much information on the thing as I could. I came around the corner and was met face-to-face with the damn thing. The lights blinded me and caused me to move out of the way, but it followed me. Those headlights stayed with me. And it had been dark. Not pitch black, but dark enough for the shadows to conceal the color of the car.
I flinched as the crunch of metal sounded in my mind, but there were two details I pulled from my vision.
The vehicle was dark green and it was a car. Not something raised up on some bullshit tires or something.
I opened my eyes and looked down at the front of my bike. Piper had done a great job cleaning it as well, but there were still some flecks of the green paint tucked inside the dented grooves of my handlebars. Perfect. It was a place to start. I swung my leg over my bike and started for the porch, but the second I got up there the door swung open.
“I was wondering when you’d stop meditating long enough to get the fuck up here,” Brewer said with a grin.
I eyed him carefully as I leaned onto
the porch railing to step up.
“Are Makenna and Ana here?”
“Nope they headed out to a birthday party. One of the kids in Ana’s class.”
“Good,” I grunted as I stepped inside.
“What’s wrong with you?” he asked.
My eyes dropped to his arm in the sling before I rose my eyes to his gaze.
“Someone tried to run me off the road,” I said.
“What? The fuck are you talking about? When?”
“And I have a son.”
Brewer’s lips parted in shock as his eyes widened. I wasn’t sure he believed me, honestly. The look on his face was utter disbelief. And I got it. I knew why. With my reputation in the group and the way I discarded women quicker than condoms. They were nothing more than a body to keep me warm at night. Especially once Piper left and never came back. But now that I knew why she didn’t come back, the only thing I could think about was figuring out a way to fucking keep her here.
In Redding.
So, we could all be a family.
“I’ll go get us some beers,” Brewer said as he stepped off to the side.
“Get me a shot with one of them, too,” I said.
“Trust me. I was.”
Chapter 12
Piper
I sat at the kitchen table I cleared and put my head in my hands. Gavin was sound asleep upstairs, and I was left with nothing but the raging sound of my thoughts. It was still hard to believe that Rock knew he was a father. That he knew we had a son together. And in some respect, it bothered me still. Seeing that determined look in his eye to prove he deserved a shot at being in his son’s life made me wonder what he would force me to compromise in order to get his way. Rock was nothing, if not stubborn. It was where Gavin got his personality. That same stubborn glare that etched itself into Rock’s face a few moments ago was the same look my son gave me every time I said ‘no’ to something he thought he deserved.
Thinking about it made me exhausted.
Part of me wanted to keep it a secret from Rock. To deny that Gavin was his son and keep on trucking. And now, part of me wanted to deny Rock access altogether. I had to protect Gavin. I knew better than anyone the antics those men got up to when they were together. Running shit and selling shit and laundering money to line their pockets. I knew Rock was always hacking into something as well. Jails. Police offices. Traffic cameras to spy on people for the crew. He was brilliant when it came to technology, despite his rugged appearance.
Rock (Dead Souls MC Book 4) Page 6
