by Stacey Wilk
“She did?”
He nodded and pulled out of the driveway. She watched as he turned the corner. Chloe liked Cash. As friends or more?
****
“That was an oldie but goodie, folks. Rumor has it Savage is hitting the road again after Blaise Savage’s accident put the brakes on earlier this year. If you ask me, I say why bother? Time to enjoy retirement, guys, if you aren’t going to make any new music.” The disc jockey coming through the speakers in Blaise’s truck let himself have a hearty laugh at his own joke. “Now here’s a band I hope never stops getting on the road.”
Blaise jabbed at the radio, turning it off before the music began. He didn’t want to hear what band was about to play. He didn’t want to hear new music, and he hated hearing his own music on the radio. It was tired and old. The DJ, asshole that he was, was right.
Anger burned his insides. How had things gotten away from him? He had been cruising along fine for years, making money, making music. He had even fooled himself into thinking Cash was fine without him. Cash wasn’t fine. The boy needed his father, and Blaise had tanked and burned on that one.
He stole a glance at Cash brooding in the seat next to him. Cash looked out the window, his head shoved low in his shoulders. He bounced his leg and picked at a scab on his finger. At least Blaise was able to convince Cash, with a little help from Colton, to stay in Heritage River.
“I’m not pulling this truck over until you tell me what started that fight.”
They had been driving around for an hour. He thought maybe the truck would be the place Cash would open up. It was doing the opposite. He didn’t know what else to do, so he headed for Main Street and pulled in at Cream and Sugar.
“Ice cream?” At least the boy was speaking.
“Hungry?”
“No.”
“I am.” Blaise jumped out before Cash could say anything. He stood in line and forced himself not to look back. This whole thing was stupid.
He wouldn’t even have bothered to try to force Cash to tell him except for the call from Savannah. She hadn’t liked Grace’s questions. She wanted Blaise to tell Grace to mind her own business. Savannah hadn’t wanted to say anything herself because of the fundraiser. There would be a lot of work to do that day. She’d asked him to help out too, but he’d managed to skirt the issue, not wanting to tell her he might be gone.
He wanted to talk to Grace. What had she seen in such a short time that he hadn’t seen ever? What kind of father didn’t understand his child’s pain?
He got to the front of the line and ordered two mint ice creams with cookie crunches in cones, Cash’s favorite flavor when he was around five. Blaise knew that much at least. He didn’t know if the boy still liked it.
He waved Cash out of the truck. At first Cash shook his head, but maybe the ice cream dripping down Blaise’s hand and onto his brace was enough guilt to get his son on the sidewalk.
“Do you still like this flavor?” The words were thick and heavy in his mouth, but nothing else would come to him.
Cash shrugged but licked what melted down the cone. They sat on the bench facing the library. The sun poked through the leaves, and there wasn’t a breeze in sight. The smell of cut grass filled the air.
Blaise stretched out his legs and leaned back. “I’m glad you stayed,” he said between licks.
“How long before you leave for the tour?” Cash focused on his task of eating the ice cream.
“Do you think because I’m on tour means I don’t want you to live with me?”
Cash ate his way down the cone, keeping his eyes straight ahead. “I guess I know you do, but why can’t you stay home?”
“Why do you want me to stay so badly? You’re almost an adult. I thought you’d be glad to have the house to yourself for a few months.” Blaise tried to make light of his sentence by knocking into Cash’s arm with his own, but the attempt fell flat. Cash kept looking straight ahead.
Cash turned toward Cream and Sugar, and Blaise followed his gaze. A family walked up to the window. The father held his young son with big blond curls on his shoulders while the mother ordered. The little boy had his fingers laced through the father’s hair. A smile spread across the little boy’s face, and he laughed a deep belly laugh. The father patted the boy’s leg and laughed too.
“Hold him, James.” The mother reached up toward her boy.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got him.”
I’ve got him. Blaise reached out to touch Cash but pulled back, afraid his gesture wasn’t enough. “If I could undo my mistakes, I would.”
“Huh?”
“I’m sorry, Cash. I’m sorry for my bad decisions as a dad.” He swallowed the knot in his throat. The ice cream lost its flavor.
Cash kept his head down and kicked the sidewalk. “I’m sorry I lit that frame on fire.”
Blaise laid a hand on Cash’s back. Somehow they would be okay. “I let someone handle my money who didn’t know what they were doing. I’m almost broke, Cash.” He stared at the ground between his feet. “Touring is the only way for us to make money now. No one really buys our music anymore, and only stations that play older country-rock stuff play our songs. It’s not like it was a long time ago when our music could be heard on every station or when people had to buy full albums to hear us.”
“You guys aren’t that washed up.”
“We’re washed up enough.” He hadn’t said that out loud before. The words hurt to hear and hurt worse to swallow.
“Hey, Blaise.” A male voice broke into their conversation. Blaise looked up at Keith Mulligan who grew up in Heritage River, worked at the high school as a maintenance director, and had married his high school sweetheart, Margery. Keith lifted a bag of groceries on his hip and offered Blaise a hearty shake. “Man, I heard you were back in town. I wanted to stop by and say hello, but I’ve been busy all summer with the kids and stuff. Heard you’re playing at the library fundraiser. A bunch of families got tickets. We can’t wait to see you. Me and my buddies saw you guys a few years back—well, more like ten now—but it was an amazing show. You’re killer on the drums.”
“Thanks. This is my son, Cash.”
Keith shook Cash’s hand. “Cash? Like Johnny Cash? He was your favorite, wasn’t he?”
“Your old man and your uncle really made something of themselves,” Keith said before Blaise could answer. “We all knew they would. They used to play every high school party. Kids came for miles just to hear them. It was something else.”
“Keith exaggerates.” Blaise laughed. How much should Cash hear about those parties?
“No way. They were the best. You should put out a new album, though.” He heaved the groceries up on his hip again. “Anyway, I’ve got to go. Margery is waiting for these ingredients. She’ll be calling any second if I don’t hurry home. I just had to come by and say hi.”
Keith headed off down the street. He was right. They needed a new album.
“That guy still thinks you’re cool.” Cash finished off the last of his cone and wiped his hands on his shirt.
“One fan thinking that isn’t enough.”
“So write a new album. You’re writing songs all the time. I see you doing it. A new album would probably sell like crazy. That guy can’t be your only fan.” Cash turned away from Blaise. “If you write a new album, you can wait to go on tour.”
Blaise’s head was heavy. “Even if I do write a new album, which Uncle Colton doesn’t want to do, I still need the rest of the tour. I don’t think Cream and Sugar is hiring.”
“I don’t want to live here without you, and I don’t want Aunt Savannah checking in on me.”
“What happened between you and Jud? Tell me. Please. So I can help.”
“You won’t believe me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because no one has ever believed me.”
Blaise got up and tossed the rest of his cone. In so many ways, Cash was still a boy.
“If I tell you, will you
stay?”
“Ah, Cash. Don’t ask me that, please. I can’t stay, but I promise to help you get set up at the community college before I go. I’ll check in with you every day. We can do that FaceTime thing. I’ll even take your calls while I’m on stage. I promise.”
“I’ll do the fundraiser with you if you stay.”
Blaise wiped his hand over his face. “I would like nothing more than to play with you. It’s something I’ve always wanted. I was bummed when I found out you gave Uncle Colton that video of you and not me.”
“Sorry. I knew you’d say it was good because you’re my dad. I wanted his opinion because he always says it like it is.”
“Well, that’s true enough. Hey, maybe you can meet us on the road when you don’t have classes. You can come up on stage, and we can jam. How about that?”
“I don’t want to go up on stage. I don’t care about that. All I want is for you to stay in town so I don’t have to worry about seeing Jud.”
“You can’t avoid him forever.”
“Yes, I can.” Cash stood. “Can we go home now?”
“Why won’t you tell me?” His voice bellowed into the air. Cash stepped back, his eyes wide, and Blaise clenched his fists so hard his bad hand protested. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what he was doing except making a mess of things.
“Look at me, Dad. Do you see me? Jud hates the way I look, what I stand for. He knows no one will pay attention to what he does to me because I’m the one who has no friends, who gets bad grades, who gets in trouble. All he has to say is I started it, and everyone believes him.” Cash turned away and swiped at his face. Was he crying?
Blaise stood frozen. He wanted to grab Cash and grip him in a hug, but would the boy allow it? Blaise never remembered his father hugging him like that.
“Jud isn’t who everyone thinks he is,” Cash said.
Blaise searched for his voice. “What does that mean?”
Cash turned to him. “He hates that I’m your son because he craves the spotlight. All he wants is people to pay attention to him.” Cash opened his mouth but clamped it shut.
There was more, but he wouldn’t push. He took a tentative step toward his son. “I’m sorry, Cash. I’m sorry for everything.” The tears were what made Blaise believe even more. Cash had never cried in front of him. Not even as a little boy. “What was he saying to you yesterday?”
“Doesn’t matter. I was just tired of hearing his big mouth and wanted to shut him up. I threw the first punch. It was my fault. I’ll need another community service job too. Aunt Savannah won’t want me back. I’m sorry I keep screwing up.”
Blaise patted him on the shoulder. “Let’s go home.” He unlocked the truck with a push of his key fob. “I screwed up plenty too. Still doing it.”
He pulled into the driveway and looked at Cash. “Will you stay with me?”
“Will you?”
“Cash—”
“I’m going inside.”
Every muscle in his body ached. If he hadn’t stopped drinking twenty years ago, he’d pour himself a cold beer. Instead, he walked across the lawn and up to Grace’s porch. The hour was late, and she was probably wiped out from the day’s work, but he had to see her. Just being with her might soothe whatever aches he had. There was one ache she could definitely soothe. He shook his head to get the thought loose. When she was ready, he reminded himself and knocked on the door.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The banging pulled Grace off the air mattress and away from the book she was reading. Her hair was still damp from the shower, and her sweat shorts were loose around her legs and probably a hair too short to be seen in, but there wasn’t time to change if that banging was going to keep up.
Hopefully, it wasn’t Hoke Carter coming to pack her bags because Savannah saw what she was searching for on the library computer.
Chloe opened her bedroom door. “Who is that?”
“Not sure.”
“It’s probably your boyfriend.”
“I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Yeah, okay.” Chloe gave her a knowing smile. “Don’t stay up too late, and remember children are nearby.” She shut the door behind her.
Grace navigated around the ladder Colton left in the hallway and made her way to the front door. She flipped on the lamp before opening the door.
“Blaise. What’s up?” She crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly aware she wasn’t wearing a bra. She wanted to run a hand through her hair, thinking it must look messy hanging in strands around her face, but was afraid to move her arms away from her chest.
He smiled that slow smile of his. The gray in his eyes twinkled in the dim light. He pushed his hair away from his face. “Sorry to come by so late. Did I wake you?”
“It’s not that late. I was just reading. Do you want to come in?”
“How about we sit out on the porch?” He motioned for her to join him.
“Let me change first.” She turned to run back to her room.
He grabbed her hand. “You look great. Come on outside.”
The warm air wrapped itself around her bare legs. When was the last time she shaved? If this had been wintertime, that answer could be days. Since it was summer, she was pretty certain she was safe if Blaise happened to touch her legs. Why was she thinking like that? She wished she were wearing a bra.
They sat on the top step. His thigh brushed against hers and sent shivers across her skin. He smelled clean and sweet. She clamped her hands in her lap and looked up at him. Shadows circled his eyes. A day’s growth covered his jaw. The dark scruff speckled with gray made him even sexier.
“How’s Cash?” she said, hoping to derail her thoughts.
“He wants me to give up the tour and stay home.”
“Is that a bad thing?” She wouldn’t mind hearing Chloe say something like that to her.
“No, not really, but he wants me around to run interference with Jud mostly, and I need this tour. I was hoping it would start later, but if it doesn’t, I have to go. I’ll be out of money in a few months.” He didn’t look at her when he said the last words.
She reached over and grabbed his right hand. It was warm and rough in hers. She didn’t know what else to offer this man who was so open with his problems. He gave her a squeeze.
“How long will you be gone?” she said.
“Probably three months. I don’t want to leave him alone for that long. Maybe it’s better if he goes back to his mother’s. Only, I was looking forward to finally spending time with my kid.”
“You can’t spend time with him if you aren’t here. Could he go to his mother’s for just those months and then come back?”
“What if he doesn’t want to come back?” He drummed on his leg with his other hand.
She had no answer to that. “Could he go on tour with you?”
“I want him in school. He needs stability, and I can’t give him that. I’ll tell him in the morning he has to go to his mother’s, and when the tour is over he can come live with me, if he wants.” The lines around his mouth grew deeper. He scratched at the back of his neck.
“Are you sure there are no other options to make money?” He had told her about the songs he wrote, but for some reason he wasn’t ready to change the dynamic between him and his brother. “I don’t mean to judge, but your son wants you to stay. How much longer will that happen? Can’t you make Colton understand?”
“My brother only understands playing his music. It’s better if Cash leaves for a while, then comes back.”
Grace released his hand and straightened her shoulders. “I spoke with Beau this morning, and he’s willing to give Cash his job back. You can’t send him to his mother’s yet.” Beau wouldn’t need him forever, but it could keep Cash in town for the rest of the summer and maybe force Blaise to rethink the tour. If that was even possible. She understood needing money.
“Wait a second. Beau wants to hire Cash back? Why?” He didn’t wait for her to answer. “It won�
��t work. Cash will never work with Jud again.”
“Not Jud. Just Cash. I asked because, well, he’s a good kid, and I told Beau only to hire Cash. He didn’t want to hire one back without the other, but I insisted. It may be none of my business, but I don’t think Cash is the one causing trouble between the two. I’m sorry. I know he’s your nephew, and your sister already gave me an earful about it, but I don’t care. I have to call it as I see it.” She finally took a breath.
He smiled at her. “You did that for my kid?”
She looked down at her lap. He tipped her head back up at him. He was inches from her.
“Yes, I did that for Cash. He didn’t deserve to be fired for sticking up for himself.” She wanted to lean in and press her lips against his.
“Thank you.” His voice was thick.
She licked her dry lips and pulled back. The tug in her low belly said do it, dummy, and her brain wanted to write a pros-and-cons list on kissing Blaise Savage.
He took her cue and went back to holding her hand. “Cash said Jud always started things between them. I never saw it. What kind of father misses something like that?”
“Don’t blame yourself. Jud is very good at hiding it. He knows no one suspects him. That gives him a lot leeway. I don’t like bullies.” Larry was a bully. “I’m sorry to put it so bluntly, especially about your family, but he is.”
Blaise stared toward his house. The front room lights were on. “No wonder Cash didn’t want to talk to me about it. I won’t say anything to Cash about his leaving for California just yet. He needs this job, and he needs his community service hours. I don’t want to mess that up for him if Savannah is still willing to have him. I’ll have to figure something out about the tour and his staying here. Thank you for making me see. I want to kiss you right now.”
“I’d like that.” She hesitated.
“But?” He rubbed his thumb against her palm.
She straightened up again. “Can I ask you something? You can tell me to mind my own business, but I need to ask.”
