The Texan's Reward

by Jodi Thomas

  Harrison looked uneasy. “Nell insisted on coming. She said she’d go in with you holding onto her, if you’re willing. If you don’t feel comfortable, Marla says she’ll try, but she’s as afraid of the water as I am.”

  Jacob looked back at Nell, still in the buggy. “You agree to this, Two Bits? You’ll let me take you in?”

  She nodded.

  “And Mrs. O’Daniel, she’ll turn over her duties?”

  “We agreed it would be best for her to stay with Brother Aaron.”

  “It doesn’t make sense, but if you’re willing, I’m here to help.” He stripped down to the bottom of his long johns. He hadn’t worn an undershirt because the morning was so warm, and he’d thought about taking a swim while Nell and Mrs. O’Daniel were in the water. Now, with Marla’s cheeks reddening, he wished he’d worn more. He thought of wading in with his clothes on, but he didn’t look forward to having to ride back to the Stockard place dripping wet.

  He’d also forgotten how ugly the knife wound on his back must look. He was thankful when Nell asked for Marla’s help and he could put some distance between the shy cook and his bare skin.

  Harrison helped Nell out of the buggy, and Jacob carried her to the water. He stood waist deep before he let her legs into the water. “Just tell me what you want me to do,” he said near her ear.

  She laughed at the cold, then her feet touched bottom. She could stand when she didn’t have to bear all her weight.

  Jacob let her hold on to him for support, but he kept his hands close in case she missed a step. They half walked, half floated into deeper water.

  He glanced back at the shore and noticed Marla and Harrison had climbed up an incline and looked to be spreading a picnic out on the blanket between them. He was too far away to hear what they were saying, but once, he heard Marla’s laughter on the wind.

  Nell circled around him, lightly keeping her balance with her hands touching his shoulders. Her touch was as easy and relaxed as it always had been.

  He didn’t know how to talk to her. Jacob couldn’t bring himself to go back to two nights ago when he’d rolled atop her and hurt her. He could hardly look at her without wanting her so badly he feared his heart might stop in mid-beat. But touching her and talking about it were two different things.

  “Why’d you agree to this?” he finally asked, guessing she felt as awkward as he did about coming face-to-face again after what had happened between them.

  “I wanted to be alone with you.” Her fingers brushed along his shoulder as she moved as Mrs. O’Daniel had taught her. “We can’t go the rest of our lives without talking to one another.”

  He smiled. “I know.” The girl . . . the woman . . . he knew was back. The girl that could never keep anything from him. The woman who liked to reason out problems as she talked to him, even when the problem this time seemed to be him. “I never meant to hurt you.” He said the words before he thought.

  She looked up at him then, her eyes wide and sad. “I know, Jacob. Don’t you know that I would never think you’d hurt me on purpose?”

  He felt one of the weights that had been around his heart disappear. At least she didn’t blame him; that was something.

  She leaned back and floated. “I love the water,” she smiled into the sun. “Can we forget everything for a while and just enjoy being together?”

  “All right,” he said letting the gentle current relax him as well.

  After a while he was afraid she might be getting too much sun, so he slowly backed up until they moved into the cove he’d discovered earlier. The sun blinked between leaves, making the water sparkle, and she drifted across it, gliding with only his slight touch between her shoulder blades.

  They’d been silent for several minutes, and Jacob knew he might never have a chance to talk to her alone again. “Nell, I’ve been thinking.” He tried to keep his voice easy as if they were just talking. “Harrison told me you said you wanted a marriage in name only. I didn’t know that was part of your plan, but if that’s what you want, I’d have no objection.”

  She stopped swimming. “But don’t you want a wife, a real wife?”

  “Well, yeah, but if you want to marry, I still think I’m the best man. We could just see one another like we do now. There wouldn’t have to be anything physical between us.” He had to make the lie convincing. If he planned to protect her for the rest of her life, he’d have to make her believe that he could be happy with never touching her again. For the rest of his life he’d have to be willing to look at her, knowing that he could never touch her . . . not the way a man touches his woman.

  “You mean you’d be satisfied with never making love to me?”

  He took a deep breath. “My name would protect you.”

  “But we wouldn’t sleep together.”

  “I’d come running whenever you needed me, just like I always have.”

  “But you wouldn’t hold me.”

  He stared at her, hating the words he knew he had to voice. “I can never hurt you again like I did. I don’t think I could take the blow.”

  She met his stare. “You’d take other lovers?”

  “No.” The resolution in his voice surprised even him. He knew without any doubt that if he couldn’t have her, he’d spend his life alone.

  She lowered her head. “I can’t.”

  He held her gently with one arm. “You can’t what? Marry me?”

  “I can’t be with you without touching you. I can’t. I think you’d try, maybe even be able to never hold me again, but I’m not sure I could stay away from you.”

  Jacob closed his eyes. He felt the same, but he was willing to try. He thought he was being the strong one, but maybe she was being the honest one. “Then, what do we do?”

  Nell moved her cheek against his shoulder, rubbing warm tears into his skin. “I don’t know. I just know that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life trying to keep you at arm’s length.”

  “You could marry Harrison. He’s a good man.”

  To his surprise, Nell laughed. “Great idea. We can’t be satisfied making ourselves miserable, we have to hurt Mr. Harrison as well.”

  “But he wants to marry you,” Jacob reminded her. “He agreed to the in-name-only part. He thinks a great deal of you, Nell, but he’s said from the first that he would only be marrying to get half the land.”

  Nell stopped him. “Have you seen the way he looks at Marla?”

  Jacob frowned, realizing he wasn’t the only one who’d noticed. “Yes but . . .”

  She slung her braid, splashing water against his chin. “So, now we’re miserable, and so we include Harrison by my marrying him, and that makes Marla unhappy.” She brushed the water from his chin. “We’ve made a fine mess of it, haven’t we?”

  He smiled but saw no way out.

  “I’ve thought about it,” she finally added. “I’ve decided to stay an old maid. Then, if you want to marry someday, you can. Harrison, if he wants it, will become my full-time bookkeeper and eventually figure out that he loves Marla.”

  “And we’ll stay friends?”

  “Friends?” she asked. “But before we agree, I’d like to kiss you one last time.”

  Before he could stop her, she moved into his arms, pressing her body against his.

  He meant to kiss her gently, but she would have none of it. She wanted a real kiss. As they swayed with the gentle water, he felt her warm the length of him as her passion built inside of him.

  Brushing kisses over her face, he whispered how soft she was before returning to her mouth. Then she did the same, laughing as his whiskers tickled.

  The fact that he couldn’t abandon himself fully made what he felt all the sweeter. He carefully moved his hands down her back and gently cupped her hips. He loved the way she dug her fingers into his hair and pulled his head to her, demanding, needing, and longing for what they both knew they’d never have fully.

  This moment would have to last them forever, and he planned to make it a
sweet dream for the rest of her life. He unbuttoned her camisole and spread the wet cotton aside. The water bushed against the peaks of her breasts, and he could do nothing but stare.

  “You’re perfect,” he whispered as he leaned over and took one tip in his mouth.

  She laughed in surprise.

  He held her waist in an easy grip as he moved below the water, pushing material aside as he kissed downward.

  Nell grabbed his hair and pulled him up. “You’ll drown.”

  “I don’t care,” he answered and realized he meant it.

  “Then, by all means continue.”

  Under the water he kissed all the way to her belly button. When he returned for air, she insisted he stay long enough for her to taste his mouth fully.

  Widening his stance, he stood almost equal to her as she moved her hands over his chest. He knew what she was doing: memorizing.

  Her touch grew bolder as she reached below his waist, wanting to feel all of him.

  The shock of it startled him, but he didn’t move. This was his Nell, the girl who’d never run from adventure, the woman who wanted, if only for a moment, to claim her man.

  He grabbed their undergarments before they floated away and tossed them on a branch while she drifted around him, letting skin touch skin. Her breasts drove him mad as they slipped against his chest, and her long legs gently wrapped around him.

  “If this is to be the last time we touch,” she whispered, “I want to be able to remember the way you felt for the rest of my life.”

  He agreed. What they were doing was dangerous. Neither of them could trust themselves enough to always stop before it was too late. Jacob realized she wanted him as much as he wanted her. They couldn’t play with fire again, but here in the water, her body could move without pain.

  His hands slowly moved down. He closed his eyes, swearing he’d never forget a single line of her body.

  She brushed her fingers over him, tracing the outlines of his scars and the way his muscles tightened to her touch.

  “I’ll make love to you every night in my dreams,” he whispered. “Every night for the rest of my life.”

  Her arms circled his neck and held to him. “I know,” she whispered. “I’m counting on it.”

  They stood together until the afternoon shadows stretched long and the water grew cold. He didn’t want to turn loose of her. He wasn’t sure his heart would still beat without hers beating beside it.

  He loved her. He loved her enough never to touch her again after today.

  And he knew she loved him, for she’d given him as much of herself as she could. She’d given him one afternoon that would stay with him for the rest of his life.

  CHAPTER 35

  NELL HELD ON TIGHTLY WHEN JACOB FINALLY CARRIED her out of the water. She curled in the back of the buggy in the blankets and whispered a good-bye to her ranger.

  With her eyes closed, she heard Jacob tell Harrison to drive carefully and Harrison say he’d go into town tonight and collect the news. The men agreed that if Harrison didn’t stop by before midnight, there was nothing to report.

  None of the conversation mattered, for Nell knew she was still lost in the arms of Jacob. She wondered how he could even begin to talk and make sense when the world had stopped turning only minutes before. As the wagon pulled away, Nell knew she’d left her heart with her ranger.

  With Marla talking softly about the day, Nell drifted into sleep wishing she were still in Jacob’s arms. The sun was setting by the time they pulled up to the house and her small army went to work. Mrs. O’Daniel helped her into a bath, and Wednesday brought her a cup of hot tea.

  Everyone agreed to have a supper of cheese and apples. By nine, the house settled in for bed. Mrs. O’Daniel stopped in to make her report about the patients. “Brother Aaron is hobbling around swearing that he’ll be right as rain in a few days.” The nurse laughed. “He swears the devil took twenty dollars in gold from him last night. He says he was looking at it in the moonlight a moment before the devil knocked him off the porch.”

  Nell grinned. “The preacher probably never had twenty dollars in gold.”

  Mrs. O’Daniel continued, “Hank ate all his meals and stayed awake most of the day listening to Wednesday and playing with her baby. I think he’ll be ready to travel in a few days if the ranger doesn’t push him too hard.”

  Mrs. O’Daniel sat on the corner of Nell’s bed. “How did it go with your ranger?”

  Nell smiled. “You were right. We did need time to say good-bye as lovers if we are to be friends.” She’d finally told Mrs. O’Daniel last night what had happened after the woman worried for an hour over what had hurt her so badly. To Nell’s surprise, the nurse didn’t blame Jacob.

  The old nurse nodded. “I haven’t always been old and stout. There was a time when I was young.”

  “It won’t be easy seeing him and knowing that I can’t marry him, but I know it would be torture if he married me and could never sleep beside me. I tried to tell myself that maybe after time my back wouldn’t hurt so badly, but after days of exercise all that has changed is the level of pain I can endure. I don’t want it to be like that when I’m with Jacob.”

  “The doctor may get in tomorrow.” Mrs. O’Daniel tried to sound hopeful. “Maybe something has changed.”

  Nell shook her head. The bullet was still lodged near her spine. An operation might kill her. Nothing had changed.

  The nurse tucked her in and left. Nell lay awake for hours reliving the dream she’d had that afternoon.

  When she woke the next morning, another rainstorm had moved in across the plains. This was the rainiest spring that Nell could remember.

  Everyone in the house stayed in and tried to think of ways to pass the time. Harrison seemed the only one happy. He worked in the study all morning, then cornered Nell about a few new ideas he had.

  The next day mirrored the day before. Nell worried about Jacob, knowing he’d find shelter but hating to think of him out on the old ranch all alone. If she’d been able to, she would have ridden over to keep him company.

  Sheriff Parker braved the weather to come to lunch. He complained about his aching bones and spent most of his time standing in front of the fireplace, even though the day wasn’t particularly cold. He reported Walter Farrow had been drinking heavily since the posse left and complaining about how he’d been cheated out of his uncle’s wealth. Except for a few traveling salesmen, who knew nothing of the past, no one paid any attention to his whining. He seemed to have a couple of troublemakers working for him, but Parker couldn’t figure out what they were doing to earn their pay.

  Parker waited to tell the bad news until everyone had finished eating. He stood and faced Nell. “I hate to relay this, but I got a telegram from Fort Worth. The posse delivered the three outlaws yesterday, and early this morning a judge decided to hold them in jail until Dalton delivers the boy. He wants to try them all together.”

  Harrison tossed his napkin on the table. “But the boy will hang if they’re tried together.”

  Sheriff Parker winced as though the words hit him. “I know, but that’s the law. He may only be fifteen, but a lot of outlaws have only been half grown when they killed someone.”

  Mrs. O’Daniel huffed. “Hank didn’t kill anyone.”

  Everyone fell silent. They all knew nothing they could say would change anything. Hank had been one of the men who’d held up the train. If Mrs. O’Daniel could identify him, so could fifty others.

  Finally, to everyone’s surprise, Marla whispered, “Don’t tell Wednesday until we have to. It’ll break her heart. She and Hank have become friends.”

  Everyone at the table agreed.

  “Maybe she’ll feel some better knowing Jacob will stand with him,” Nell said. “He has to take the boy in, but he promised he’d do everything he could to the end.”

  Nell wished she could add some hope that the judge might give the boy a lighter sentence, but she doubted it.

  “Oh, one
other thing,” Parker pulled a telegram from his pocket. “The doc says he’ll be in on the last train. I figured, with the rain, he might wait until tomorrow, but he’s going to make it in tonight.”

  “I’ll pick him up at the station.”

  “If it’s not still raining,” Marla added, “I’ll ride along with you.”

  “Me, too, if you take the big buggy,” Nell added. She didn’t want to admit that the house was starting to feel like a prison again, even with all the company.

  The weather cooperated. The rain stopped by midafternoon, and the sun even gave a weak appearance. The road might still be muddy, but at least it wouldn’t be a river.

  Just after dark, Nell and Marla climbed into the back of the buggy with plenty of blankets, and Mr. Harrison drove them. The preacher wanted to ride along, but his leg still bothered him. He finally said he’d help Gypsy keep guard while they were gone.

  Nell couldn’t hide her excitement. Dr. McClellan and his new wife Theda had become dear friends.

  By the time they got to the train station, fog had moved in. Marla left Nell to help Harrison identify the doctor.

  “I’ll be right back,” she called over her shoulder.

  Nell laughed, “I’ll be right here.”

  She closed her eyes and listened to the sounds of the train pulling in. The long, lonely whistle always made her feel like it was calling her.

  The buggy suddenly shifted.

  Nell opened her eyes, expecting to see Harrison and the others, but two young men dressed in black sat in front of her.

  Her first thought was that they must have the wrong buggy. “You’ve . . .”

  The buggy lunged forward as the man not driving turned to face her. “If you want to live, lady, you’d be wise to keep your mouth shut.”

  Nell held tight as the buggy rocked. She couldn’t find enough breath to scream.

  Fighting down the pain and fear, she managed to yell, “What do you want?”

  The stranger turned around again as the buggy pounded down the road away from town. “We work for Mr. Farrow, lady, and he only wants what’s his.”