by Taylor Hart
He thought more about how different things would have been, for both of them.
“What?” she asked out of the blue.
He hadn’t realized she was watching him. He sighed. “Nothing.”
“Something,” she said and handed the popcorn back to him.
“I was just thinking what it would have been like.”
“Hmm?”
He didn’t care anymore; he had to tell her. “If you and I had been married.”
There was no way to describe how her whole body seemed to freeze at that statement. Then she pulled her hand back.
“Hey,” he said, taking her hand again. It felt cold all of a sudden.
“Jace,” she said, tears in her eyes. “I wonder if you’re just feeling bad for me. I know, you have a kind heart. Too kind, and I don’t want to be another Stacy, taking advantage of you in my vulnerable circumstance.”
His jaw tightened. “How could you even say that?”
She was already getting up. “I have to use the bathroom.”
He sat there, his heart pounding, angry that she would think she was taking advantage of him. He’d been the one to insist he stay with her.
Then he doubted himself. Did she even want him?
Chapter 18
Addison woke the next morning to the sun shining in the room and the smell of bacon. Wiggling her toes, she noted that her feet did hurt less, and as she turned onto her side, she realized she didn’t feel as achy as she had yesterday.
A smile formed on her lips as she thought about the night before. About Lamaze, the hot tub, the popcorn in bed, and Jace’s admission of his feelings. It had made her feel vulnerable, but she knew she’d wondered about it too. There was part of her that hated to think of her life without him. Another part of her still felt totally unworthy to think she could be with a guy as handsome, successful, and kind as Jace.
His abs flashed into her mind again. In the hot tub, he’d been gorgeous, but it wasn’t just his physical attributes. It was him. His goodness. The way he just did things for her as if it was natural. The way he wanted to spend time with her.
Tim hadn’t been like that.
Sitting up, she got off the bed and padded to the bathroom, silently cursing Jace Harding for making her feel all these things she had forgotten she’d ever felt. Twitterpated. First love kind of stuff.
This was unreal. She was pregnant. She wanted to shout out “widowed and pregnant, people!” just to remind herself.
After she washed her hands, she stared at herself in the mirror. Granted, she didn’t look great at the moment, but part of her wondered if maybe she looked okay when she wasn’t pregnant. Maybe even pretty.
She thought of Stacy. There was no way she measured up to that.
Brushing it aside, she decided to just focus on the now. There was something she wanted to do today. She knew Jace wouldn’t be happy about it, but he might agree to it.
When she came out of the room, she was amazed again at how beautiful the apartment was. She looked out over the city, seeing the stadium in the distance, thinking how she’d never even been to an actual game. She’d watched on television but had never taken the time to go to the stadium.
“Hey.” Jace was just coming down the hall, wearing shorts and a T-shirt and tennis shoes.
“Don’t tell me you’ve already done your ten miles.”
He waited for her then walked with her into the kitchen, pointing to the already set table. “Fifteen today.”
Staring at him, she shook her head and found her seat.
He sat across from her.
“Jace, you spoil me. You don’t have to cook like this.”
He waved a hand into the air. “I like to cook like this, and I like having someone to eat with.”
She thought of the comment he’d made about how Stacy never ate anything. A big bite of omelet filled her mouth with flavor—egg whites and bacon and avocado and low-fat cheese. She took a couple of bites then sipped her water. “Man, you are amazing.”
Pointing his fork at her, he shrugged. “Finally, she tells me that.”
It took her by surprise. He seemed really sincere about this, like it mattered what she thought of him. “Whatever. Like Jace Harding needs my approval.”
For a second, he didn’t say anything. “Probably more than you think.”
She didn’t want to start that conversation. “Okay,” she said, clearing her throat. “So, since we’re down here, and the center I’ve been working with is only like two blocks away, can we stop in?”
Giving her a fierce look, he shook his head. “No. Bed rest,” he said solemnly.
“I won’t do anything except walk into the center, and then we can talk with some of the people there.”
He hesitated before shaking his head again. “I know you, Livingston. You say that, and then I’m going to find you helping some family do something, and it’s going to put you into labor. No.”
She knew he might be right, but she thought about how close she was to the center. “Puh-lease. Today is apple and oranges day. Can we at least take some bags over?”
He frowned. “This would be the center that judgy Laura works at too, right?”
She laughed. “Man, Jace, you almost look as afraid of Laura as you are of your mother.”
Addison could barely sit still as they pulled up to the center and saw a line out the door already.
“What in the heck?” Jace asked, trying to dodge the line of people blocking the road. He’d insisted on switching from his Jeep to the Mustang.
“Park over there.” She pointed.
Following where she pointed, he pulled up in the alley. He didn’t move, checking out the line of people.
“I told you!” She pushed the door open, delighted. “It’s apple and oranges day.”
Getting out, Jace went to the back of the car. She had talked him into stopping at a local market and insisted on buying a couple of bags of each.
Slamming the trunk with three bags over each shoulder, they didn’t get very far before a bunch of kids with dark skin surrounded them, holding their hands out. She wondered if Jace would get mad, but he stopped and pulled the bags down. “I’m glad you guys showed up,” he said, smiling at the kids.
“Apple!” said one little girl, who was probably six or seven.
Jace opened the bags and gave all the kids around them both an apple and an orange.
Addison watched with her heart swelling as some of the kids stopped right there and began devouring the fruit.
Jace couldn’t get any farther because the line had diverted to him, and he handed out all the apples and oranges quickly.
Five minutes later, they walked into the center. She was looking for Laura.
Laura, with her tight dress, hair pulled back, and glasses, appeared with a smile on her face. “Addison,” she said, rushing to her. “Hey! How are you?” She looked her up and down.
Addison held on to her friend’s hand and smiled. “Good. Jace is taking great care of me.”
Laura turned to Jace and gave him an up-and-down look. “Football player.” Her face held doubt.
Jace grinned, but Addison thought he looked a bit intimidated. He said, “Hey, she’s not an easy patient.”
Laura’s serious face broke. “Do I know that or do I know that?” She scoffed. “She has never been easy.”
Jace nodded in agreement. “Well, then would you please tell her she needs to go home?”
Addison motioned to her belly. “I’m fine.”
“She should be in bed.” Jace added.
“Yes,” Laura said, pushing her toward the door. “He’s right. You go home and get off those feet.”
“No.” She whined without meaning to. “We had to come because we stayed at Jace’s apartment last night after Lamaze, and it’s oranges and apples day.”
Laura gave her a circumspect look and then turned to Jace.
He looked defensive. “Hey, it wasn’t like that.”
&nbs
p; Laura narrowed her eyes at Addison then leaned in and whispered, “You owe me details. I can see things have gone awry.”
Just then, a volunteer whose nametag said Harold, rushed toward Laura. “Hey, we’re out, and there’s still a line.”
Laura frowned and shrugged her shoulders. “Well, tell them we’re out.”
The volunteer hesitated.
Addison wanted to do something.
“Hold up.” Jace put a hand up. “Tell them to wait. I’ll be right back.”
He rushed out of the center, but turned back before he let the door drop and pointed at Laura. “You sit her down and keep track of her.”
Chapter 19
When Jace pulled up to the center with his whole car full of apples and oranges, he wasn’t prepared for how the whole group of people surrounded him. The little kids with hunger in their eyes broke his heart.
He got the fruit out of his car and began handing it out. It took a little over an hour before all the people had been given fruit and began to disperse. As he looked into the eyes of the children and parents, he knew he really did have so much to be grateful for. He also knew this was his community and that he would be different. He was different because of her.
“Hey, Harding!”
He looked up from where he was standing and saw Addison, staring at him, standing next to the center’s doors.
Without thinking, he ran to her and pulled her into him, breathing in her coconutty scent.
“Hey.” She let out a light laugh. “What’s going on?”
When he let her down, he couldn’t help it this time, staring into her eyes and then at her lips. Maybe he wasn’t ready. Maybe she wasn’t ready.
Maybe this was all wrong, but all he could do was bend and meet her soft lips.
At first, she froze. He pulled her closer, loving the feel of her round tummy against him, the feel of her soft hair, and then the feel of her returning the kiss.
Pulling away for a second, he stared into her eyes. “I can’t help myself. I think … I think I’m falling in love with you.”
There were tears in her eyes, but she didn’t make excuses as she had last night.
Laura cleared her throat.
He let Addison go, but he found her hand and kept it inside of his own, where it belonged.
“Okay,” Addison said, her eyes wide. “Thank you, Jace.” She was already pulling him toward his car. “Bye, Laura. We have to move Jace’s car.”
When they got to the car, he helped her in, and everything inside of him felt clear. Like he was ready for that last touchdown to win the game.
Ready. Capable. Better than he’d felt in a long time.
Getting into the car, he took off, expertly weaving through all the one-way streets in Denver’s downtown and turning on the radio to distract himself. He wanted to talk about this with her, but he didn’t want to ruin it by explaining it away.
After getting onto the interstate, he let the car go. He knew he was speeding before she pointed out he was, so he didn’t say anything, only took her hand and slowed down a bit.
“Jace.”
“Shh,” he said, trying to focus on the road and not all the possibilities that had suddenly popped into his mind.
“We need to talk about this.”
“No,” he said, keeping her hand.
“Okay, so we’ll wait.”
Fifteen minutes later, they pulled up to her house. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t even think about the bad things that had happened to him in this neighborhood. There was only her. The sun was just beginning to set, and the sky glowed orange and yellow and red. He turned to her. “The sky is so beautiful right now.”
Taking a long look, she nodded. “It is.”
Getting out, he opened the door for her and took her hand. He didn’t rush her to the house. Instead, he stared into her eyes. “You’re beautiful.”
She looked away and shook her head. “Jace, you were married to a supermodel.”
Gently, he reached out and touched her face with the back of his hand. “I think the best thing about your smile is the way it starts slow, tentative. Then, I know this sounds cliché, but it just lights up your whole face.”
She didn’t resist when he pulled her closer.
“You’re prettier than Stacy ever was. You make me feel different. Like I could change the world.” He felt himself choke up. “Like there’s so much good I could do. I want that. I’m so grateful for you.” Pulling back, he saw a tear trickled down her cheek.
She brushed it away. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you the past couple of weeks, but …”
He put his hand on her tummy. “I want this. I want to be part of this baby’s life. Your life. I want to cook for you.”
She laughed.
“I want to rub your feet even when your ankles aren’t swollen. I want you to want me.” He’d never felt so vulnerable.
She pulled his head down to hers, and they kissed. It was like sunshine and summer days and the perfect catch. Then she pulled away, looking pale.
“Crap,” he said, holding her hand and moving for her front door. “We have to get you something to eat and into bed.”
Squeezing his hand, she let out a laugh. “Jace.”
When he got to the door, her turned to her and smiled.
“I can’t believe this. For so long, I …”
He kissed her again. “I know—you just thought I was the hot jock across the street.”
She laughed.
Feeling so good, he pushed the door open then leaned down and picked her up.
“What?”
“Shh.” He carried her to her room and gently laid her down. “Let me take care of you, okay?”
She flushed but nodded. “Okay.”
Gently, he took her shoes off and tugged the blanket over her. “You sleep for a bit.” Walking out of the room, he knew that, while he had no idea what he was doing, it felt good.
Chapter 20
As soon as Addison woke, she could feel him there before she opened her eyes. But when she opened her eyes, he wasn’t staring at her. He was lying on his back next to her on the bed, snoring softly. Since she had a king-sized bed, she hadn’t even known he’d gotten in.
Her heart fluttered, and she turned halfway to her side, then all the way, relaxing quietly and putting a pillow between her knees. She stared at him. Unlike her freckled skin, he still had that deep tan skin even though he hadn’t been outside in a couple of weeks. Blond streaked hair hung low over his forehead in that messy, sexy way. She knew they were natural because she’d watched him from afar forever, or what felt like forever.
Staring at Jace Harding no longer felt bad or like she was peering at an Internet screen. No, now it felt real.
She smelled his aftershave and cologne. It was heavenly. She didn’t know how he always managed to pull that off.
She thought of the kiss earlier at the center, of how overwhelmed and humble and endearingly childlike he had looked as he handed out those fruits. She thought of the way he said she was prettier than Stacy. Objectively, she knew she wasn’t, especially right now, but warmth filled her anyway. Could he really think that?
Taking a chance, she reached out and softly touched his hair.
His light snoring paused, but then he moved a bit and settled back into deep breathing.
The memory of the kisses warmed her even more. She remembered feeling him against her, taking hold of her like he could be the rock she’d always wanted. It overwhelmed her. Her eyes were wet, and she blamed her hormones.
Could he love her? Could she love him? Would it all end when this magic bubble they’d been living in popped? She smiled. What they were living wasn’t exactly a fairy tale, but to her, it kind of had been.
He’d brought such fun and warmth and joy into her life. Something else she noticed was that he’d been willing to sacrifice his precious month off to be with her. It still startled her at times yet, he was here. It felt ri
ght.
Guilt assaulted her once again as she thought of Tim’s death. It felt good to finally tell someone how she’d felt. Like she had taken this horrible secret and put it in the light, and now it wasn’t so horrible.
Taking another chance, she reached for his hand, resting hers on his. That did it. His eyes fluttered, and he gripped her hand and slid closer, like it was a compulsion he couldn’t stop.
She found herself slipping into his arms and feeling like everything she’d ever wanted was right there.
“Hey.” He grinned at her and gently put his lips to hers.
She yearned for him and let herself kiss him. Deepening the kiss, she felt him respond by pulling her more fully into him. Obviously, getting close was tricky at this point in her pregnancy, but this was amazing.
Taking her hands, she pressed them to his five-o’clock shadow and rubbed his face softly. He moaned and pulled back, staring at her. “You’re so beautiful, Addy.”
“Addy?” How come it sounded so delicious coming from his lips? She kept one hand on his face and traced his jawline and then his lips, circling them with her finger. He kissed her hand and desire surged through her as she realized this was more than she had ever thought she could want.
He kissed her again, running his hand down her hair and back. “Addy ... Addy.”
“Wait.” Addison tugged back, but Jace didn’t let her go. “Jace, how can you want this? Me? Are you sure?” She knew he knew everything. Reluctantly, she had to admit that he knew her better than Tim probably had.
Slowly, he took a piece of her hair and placed it behind her ear then tapped her nose. “I want this. I do. You can feel it too. I don’t think there’s ever been anything I wanted more to tell you the truth.”
At first, she couldn’t tell if he was talking about the situation or her. Then, as he slowly trailed kisses along the edge of her neck, she realized the answer was obvious.
