by Vivian Lux
"Grazie," I told the shopkeeper as I took my new sketchpad into my arms. I hated starting a new one when the old one still had pages left. It was a ritual, one at a time. You filled it up before starting another one. Having a new sketchpad was sacred rand I felt like I was transgressing some kind of rule of law by starting one before the old one was done .
But a new start also felt really nice right now, too. I needed to collect myself. All this time I'd been here and I hadn't once sketched the architecture that surrounded me. All the little archways and medieval touches, the glittering columns and ancient fountains. All of this needed to be recorded and I was leaving tomorrow .
A small, tucked away square beckoned to me. I settled on the edge of a crumbling stone fountain, and peered up at the worn smooth face of a cherub above me. I liked the way the detail of the eyelid was still visible even though the rest of the eye had been lost to the elements. I set my pencil against the page .
The sound of the traffic faded. I felt the grain of the paper, rough against my pencil point. My first lines were stuttery, - "hairy" my art professor called them, - but I soon found the assertive curve I was looking for. I turned the page to the side, pressing the line up to meet the swirl of stone hair. Engrossed in the deeply carved folds, I felt my shoulders fall down away from my ears and the knot in my stomach untangle .
I looked up sharply, the book falling off my lap and onto the pavement. I quickly snatched it up and unfolded the bent pages, muttering to myself .
Then I heard it again. I looked behind me. For a second it sounded like someone was calling my name. But that was impossible. I looked back down at the page. It was crap. I turned to a blank one, and paused. Had I really heard someone call my name ?
"Tallula!" floated across the square .
That was definitely my name .
I leaped up, letting my sketchpad fall to the ground once more. A blond man was barreling towards me at a full sprint .
I barely got Hudson's name out of my mouth before he slammed into me .
"What the?" I cried .
But he was crushing me with his kisses, stealing the breath from my lungs. "Oh my god," he murmured, holding me close. I could smell the clean scent of his perspiration and buried my face in his chest. I didn't know why he was so scared, but I suddenly felt frightened too .
"I was freaking out, not knowing where you were!" Hudson groaned, smoothing my hair away from my face .
"What are you doing here?" I babbled. A shadow fell over me and I looked up in surprised to see my brother suddenly standing there. Watching as Hudson kissed me over and over. The expression on his face was unreadable. "And you too? What did you think happened?" I asked them .
"The kidnappings," my brother said shortly. Hudson's arms tightened around me .
My mouth went dry. "Seriously? I just wanted to get away from the sound of the two of you fighting about me ."
"Bloody hell." Niall rubbed the back of his neck. Hudson loosened his grip a little, but he did not remove his arm from my shoulders, not even when Niall's glare grew hotter .
"You two teamed up to find me?" I couldn't help but tease. "Like a pair of bloody superheroes, yeah? Come to rescue me ?"
"Oh hush," my brother said at the same time Hudson laughed, "You're damn right ."
I shook my head. "You're adorable, you know." I went up on my tiptoes and kissed Hudson again. Then reached over to pinch Niall's already reddened cheek. "Both of you ."
Niall glared at us both, then threw up his hands. "Bloody hell," he repeated. "I'm heading back to the house. Hudson? She's your problem now." He glanced heavenward, mumbling .
"Was that your blessing then?" I demanded, poking him in the ribs. He exhaled sharply and didn't say anything. But I grinned all the same. "You're a good big brother ."
He glanced at Hudson again and some of the hardness left his eyes. "You're a terrible little sister," he complained to me. But he was starting to smile .
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Hudson
B ack in the villa, I took the immediate precaution of locking my door. And the glaring at her meaningfully before locking the door to the balcony .
She burst out laughing. "I was so worried," I told her for the millionth time as I came over to sit by her on the bed .
She shook her head. "I never in a million years imagined you'd get so worked up." She paused. "About anything, really." She leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose. "It really is adorable "
"Stop," I muttered .
"Don't be grumpy at me now," she chided. "It's my last day here ."
"I'm well aware," I growled, leaning her back on the bed. "Which is why I plan on making the most of the time we have left ."
Her eyes went wide and then heavy lidded as I kissed her, needing to feel her real and alive under my lips. I loved the way her pulse raced under her skin as I kissed her neck at that perfect pulse point. She slung her arms around my neck and pulled me closer, arching her body against mine, and I felt her tighten her grip like she was afraid to let me go .
I understood. I didn't want to let go either .
When she drew back to look at me, her face was wet and her eyes were shining a pale, springlike gleam. "Don't cry," I told her .
Which only made her cry harder. Because that's what my girl did. She didn't bottle her feelings. She showed me just how much she hated the idea of leaving .
I needed to show her too. It would always be hard for me to let those feelings free, to not keep them bottled up, walled inside of me .
But I was trying. I was learning .
She was teaching me .
She made a soft, silken sound as I lifted her shirt over her head, and then the soft sound became a moan as I took her heavy breast into my hand, tracing my thumb over the taut peak of her nipple and feeling it tighten and harden under my finger. I leaned over and sucked greedily, loving how her head fell back as she gave herself over to me, so trusting. So willing .
"As soon as I can," I murmured against her skin. I felt like I needed to make promises now, but I also knew it wasn't fair to her to make them. But still. I couldn't help it. "I'll fly you out," I promised. "You just let me know next time you can get away from classes. You can meet me in Tokyo. We'll walk in the streets and you can sketch all the cherry blossoms." She moaned in appreciation of the image, but I wasn't sure if she believed me. I was trying extra hard to believe myself .
But how on earth would this work ?
I took a deep breath, inhaling her scent, and resolved that right now it didn't matter. Right now she was in my arms and I intended to make it count .
I slid my hands up her thighs, dragging my nails a little in the way I knew she liked. She hissed, looking up at me through slightly slitted eyes. I leaned down, kissing a trail up one smooth thigh, and then down the other, deliberately bypassing that slick place between her legs to make her squirm. And she did squirm, turning and twisting now, raising her hips off the bed to get closer to my mouth. I had to chuckle. "You look like you need something ."
"Yes," she groaned as I nipped into her skin a little .
"What is it ?"
"You know ..."
"Tell me, I want to hear it ."
She went up on her elbows, glaring at me. "Your mouth," she gritted through clenched teeth .
"I'm giving you my mouth," I said, kissing her thigh again, then laughing as she hissed .
"You're impossible ."
"Show me," I told her. "Show me what you want ."
She bit her lip, dragging the skin against her teeth so that it went white and then pink.
Then, with the kind of wicked gleam in her eye that would sustain me for the rest of our separation, she closed her fist in my hair .
"I think I like this more than I should," I told her as she dragged my head between her legs. She arched her hips to meet my mouth and I began to move my tongue, letting her drag my head every way she pleased, getting herself off on my mouth, my lips, my tongue. I braced myself against the bed with one hand and lifted her hips with the other. "My turn, baby," I told her, grabbing her legs and slinging them over my shoulders .
She gasped as I knelt upward, then let her head fall back. Her whole body was laid out in front of me, sloping down to the bed as my shoulders held her hips aloft. I had a perfect view of the way her breasts rose and fell, and I could devour her to my heart's content. "Perfect," I told her, breathing in the scent of her desire. "Fucking perfect." I dragged my tongue along the entrance to her sweet pussy, swirling in place for a moment, before moving up to that greedy, swollen nub. She ground herself into my tongue, arching her hips faster and faster now, but I knew she was stuck right there at the edge. She needed that little nudge over .
Grinning against her slick skin, I shifted my grip to free one hand. I slid it between her legs and let my finger sink into her scalding hot pussy. Immediately, I felt her muscles clamp down, and she arched up, squeezing my head between her thighs for a moment before she suddenly cried out, lifting up and away, but I held her in place, fucking her with my fingers and my tongue as she came all over my face .
My cock was a diamond. It was the sexiest fucking thing I'd ever seen .
Before she had even stopped squirming, I had the condom unrolled down my length. I crawled over her, and the second she arched up to me, I met her mid thrust. I sank into that blissful heat, her muscles still fluttering around me and she made this shocked little, "ah" sound that was music to my ears. I had barely begun to move before I felt that heat coiling around my spine. She was too wet, too willing, too soft and open and hungry for me. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to hold back, but she was coming again, her cries filling my ears and I knew there was nothing left to do but let go and join her .
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Tallula
I closed my arms around his neck and kissed him. Again and again as he softened inside of me, but I didn't move from his embrace. I wanted him there inside of me, a part of me, and extension of myself. I felt like if I let go, I was letting go of...us .
"Babe," he murmured into my neck .
"No," I whispered, breathing into him. I shook my head as he lifted his hand to tug gently on my arms. "No, no, no." I had started crying again. The intensity of what he'd just made me feel butting up against the realization that I wouldn't be feeling it again for a long, long while. "I want you to stay here ."
"As soon as I can, okay?" he whispered. "Tokyo. Cherry blossoms ."
I pulled back and saw it, his eyes glittering with tears. They hadn't fallen, but that was okay. The walls around his heart had fallen instead .
I took a deep breath. "Okay," I said, whispering. It felt better to whisper. "I'm ready ."
Hudson carried my suitcase for me. As I walked into the living area, Niall leaped up and in front of Hudson, who braced for a moment, fists clenched .
He looked at the both of us, slowly twisting his gaze from me to Hudson and back again .
"If you break her heart," he said. "I'll break your teeth ."
"Got it," Hudson said with a nod .
Niall nodded. Then holding my gaze with his, he reached out. Hudson took his extended hand and the two of them shook, slowly, man to man. "I'm not ready to start looking for another lead singer again," Niall noted drily. "No one else could hit those high notes on 'Best Mistake' anyway ."
I glanced at Hudson. He was nodding, stoic. But then he caught my eye and let out a shivering, shaking breath. "Glad to hear it," he said, looking Niall full in the face. "Working with you guys is the best job I could ask for ."
"It's not work, mate!" Jules called from the couch. "It's rock and roll !"
The ice broke and Ewan whooped. "You fucking scared me," he said, slapping Niall on the back. "Thought I was going to have to start doing the vocals again ."
"Lord deliver us from that," Jules deadpanned .
"You can sing?" I asked Ewan .
He shook his head. "Yeah, ah, no, that's sort of the point ."
Hudson was grinning as Jules tried and failed to put him in a headlock. "Are you gonna stop being such a monk now?" Jules wondered, settling for a punch to Hudson's kidneys .
Hudson swatted him away. "Maybe. Depends on how annoying you get ."
"He gets super annoying," August laughed from the barstool .
"Such loyalty, right love?" Jules laughed, rushing over to attack her. She squealed and in the moment everyone was looking at her, Hudson slipped his arm over my shoulder .
"Hey," he said, and the roughness of his emotion made the Texas twang in his voice even more pronounced. "Just play along, okay ?"
"Play along with...? oh ..."
I gasped as he kissed me. Right there in the middle of the room. Right there in front of the whole band, in front of my brother who made a small, aggrieved sound then muttered something when Reese chided him .
Hudson kissed me in front of everyone because we weren't hiding any more. Not our feelings. Not our love .
The ride to the airport was too short, and the fact that we waited right there on the tarmac made it seem even shorter. In no time at all the plane was ready, but I was still nestled in the back of the limo, with Hudson's arms around me .
"We're going to be okay," he murmured into my hair .
"I'll call you as soon as I land," I promised him .
"Video call," he insisted .
"You just saw me," I laughed, pinching his side .
"Not long enough," he said, and something in the way he said it made his words linger in the air for a lot longer than they should have .
Niall climbed out, and reached in to help me, while Hudson put an unnecessary but welcome hand on my ass to give me a boost. The wind whipped around on the tarmac, and the noise of a jet taking off overhead drowned out any words of farewell. I hugged Jules and Ewan, and my brother hugged me tight, then stepped back, gesturing for me to say goodbye to Hudson .
He kissed me one more time, a kiss that had to last me. And as I got onto the plane and waved to my friends, my brother, my lover, I told myself I'd be back with them as soon as I possibly could .
But that thought wasn't enough to keep me from crying the whole flight home .
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Hudson
T he gravel crunched under my boots as I stepped out of the limo. Ewan and Jules raced back up to be with their women, but I dragged my feet as I walked slowly back up to the villa, feeling like I was making the biggest mistake of my life .
With each step, I moved slower and slower until I finally came to a complete stop .
What the fuck was I doing? I wasn't some desk monkey, tied to my job .
I'm a fucking rock star .
"Oh my god, I am such a fucking idiot," I said out loud .
Niall had been hanging back too. He was on the front step, fiddling with something in the soil of one of the hanging plants. Waiting for me - maybe. "You okay?" he mumbled and I could tell what it was costing him to ask me this .
I looked up at him, blinking. "I'm a rock star," I said .
He turned to face me head-on and raised a sardonic eyebrow. "Did this just occur to you?" he deadpanned .
I shook my head. "No." Then I shrugged. "Yeah. Ma
ybe ."
Niall opened his mouth and then closed it. He planted his hands on his hips and looked down at his feet, then I heard him clear his throat. "Right," he said. "Ah, I have no idea what you're trying to tell me right now, mate ."
I shook my head, looking down. "She's a pretty amazing girl ."
"Don't have to tell me that ."
"I love her, Niall ."
"Yeah," he swallowed gruffly. "You mentioned that ."
My voice was rising. "No, I like, really fucking love her ."
Niall looked at me, blinking. "She's got school," he said slowly, like he could hear what I was about to say before I said it .
"I know." I paused for a moment, wondering what I was about to ask for. In all the time I'd been singing for Wreckage, I'd never pulled the diva card. Even though it was my face on the posters, even though it was my voice on the records, even though I was out there in the front of the line-up, working the crowd every night, I had never once asked them to put me first .
An idea suddenly dropped in my brain, fully formed and already worked out. "Band meeting," I declared, and rushed past him into the main room. "August!" I called, my voice echoing through the house. "Band meeting !"
"Again?" she grumbled, coming back out of hers and Jules' room. She was tugged her shirt down, which I dutifully ignored by staring at the ceiling, but her ever-present clipboard there in her hand .
"Your timing sucks, mate," Jules echoed, half a step behind her .
"Do I have to?" Ewan bellowed from down the hall .
"Get your skinny Scottish ass in here," I yelled, ignoring the look of utter shock that Niall was pinning me with. "Give me ten minutes. No. Eight ."
Ewan finally emerged and shuffled past me with a black look on his face. "Seven," he corrected and plopped down on the couch .
