“That’s not the same thing.”
“Didn’t they bare their bodies to get what they wanted?”
He drew a long slow breath as his heart raced. She had him flustered in ways he’d never expected.
“I suppose they did.”
“No one touched me—no one that I didn’t invite to—and no one that paid me.” She smiled a little. “Not that it should matter if they had. It’s my body to use to my advantage. No one else gets to tell me what to do with it.”
“Doesn’t it bother you that you were penniless? That you got to a point where you were so desperate that you had to sell yourself to Venice?”
“I didn’t sell myself, and no, it doesn’t bother me for a second. If I didn’t have moments when I had nothing, I wouldn’t have had half the experiences I’ve had—experiences I wouldn’t trade for any amount of money. I think being rich is far more dangerous than having little. You can hide so well behind money that you might never find yourself again.”
“And you’re not hiding?” He licked his lips and tried to force his attention from the heat that rippled through him. “You barely look at me.”
Chapter 24
Cassie set down her fork and stared across the table at him. Despite the mild manner in which Lucas spoke to her, there was still something about him that made her more than a little suspicious. It wasn’t that she considered him a threat, but she didn’t know how to take the things he said. Was he speaking to her as Mr. Morgan, the businessman, or as Lucas, the man she’d spoken with at length late in the night over bad macaroni and cheese?
“I guess you could say that I’m not used to this sort of thing—a fancy meal in a fancy room with a refined man.”
“Refined?” He smiled and leaned across the table to look into her eyes. “Is that what I am to you, refined?”
“I think you’re a gentleman. You’ve given me no reason not to think that.” She shrugged and averted her eyes. “I wonder, though, if you’re expecting a little too much from me.”
“What do you mean?” His tone shifted some.
She stole a glance up at him to see that he still sought her eyes.
“I came here to work, Mr. Morgan.”
“Lucas.” He narrowed his eyes. “And?”
“And I’m working. That’s what I’m doing. I’m here to create these murals for you, that’s all.”
“And you think I’m expecting more from you? Why?”
“I’ve learned a lot about you since I’ve been here.”
“You can’t believe what the articles say—”
“I don’t.” She locked eyes with him. “Not for a second.” She could see relief in his expression, but his gaze remained on hers. “I’ve learned a lot about you from the people who care very much about you—James, Myrna, Natasha.”
“I’m surprised by that.”
“I would guess so, considering how much you value your privacy. The funny thing is, I haven’t learned these things from them because of what they said about you, but because of the way you’ve treated them. You plucked James from a life of certain criminal behavior. Myrna could have easily lost everything when her husband became ill. And Natasha…”
He looked away and shook his head. “I didn’t do anything good for Natasha.” His voice wavered slightly. “I couldn’t be the man that she needed me to be.”
Without thinking about it, Cassie reached across the table and took his hand in hers. The action surprised him—she could tell—as his gaze shifted back to her. But he didn’t pull away.
“It seems to me that you were exactly the man that she needed you to be. You were brave enough, and unselfish enough, to let her go when you realized that you couldn’t give her a life that she would be happy with. A woman as beautiful as her—you let her go. If you wanted to have custody of your child, you would have had the lawyers and the influence to get just that. I can easily see how much you love Emma, and yet you didn’t even attempt to go to war with her mother. Because people aren’t things to you, Lucas, they’re not possessions that you can claim, they’re treasures that you will preserve in the best way that you can, unharmed despite the grief it causes within you.”
The way he stared into her eyes made her entire body ripple with a mixture of pleasure and horror. Had she gone too far in speaking her mind? Had she offended him by being so personal with him? Or worse, was she wrong?
“I don’t know what to say.” His voice was low and even. His grip on her hand became firm as each fingertip applied a hint of pressure.
“I said too much.” She started to pull her hand away, but he held on to it. “Lucas, who am I to say a word about who you are? I barely know you.”
His grasp on her hand grew even more firm. His eyes remained locked to hers.
As his passive expression began to shift, she prepared herself for what he would say next. Would he throw her out of the mansion? Demand that she paint over the murals she’d created? Her stomach clenched with regret. If only she’d kept her mouth shut and played along, maybe he wouldn’t be staring at her with so much heat in his eyes.
“You are the only person I’ve ever met who has been able to see so deep inside of me. How did you do that?”
“I don’t know.” She murmured her words and forced herself not to look away from him. “It seems pretty obvious to me.”
“Not to anyone else.” He searched her eyes intently. “Not to anyone who ever claimed to be my friend or my lover. Even Natasha accuses me of being cold and withdrawn. But you understand it, don’t you?”
“You are that way because you don’t want to hurt the people you love. If you hold back your emotions, if you carefully calculate every interaction, then you might be able to avoid ever causing them harm.” She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and shook her head. “It’s a lonely way to live your life, Lucas. You protect everyone around you, but you isolate yourself. You give love and never allow yourself to receive it. That’s why you move mountains for people, because you know there’s a mountain in front of you that will never budge an inch.”
“You would know. Wouldn’t you, Cassie?” He took her other hand in his and held them both with the same firm grip. “Don’t you do the same?”
“Not exactly. I’m not as brave as you.”
“How can you say that?”
“You have people that you love, even if you don’t allow yourself to freely love them. I’ve chosen a different route.”
“You’ve avoided loving anyone?”
“I think we should talk about the mural in the foyer.” She pulled her hands free of his grip, feeling more than a little uneasy with the direction of the conversation. “And I can’t wait to show you the walls in Emma’s room.”
Chapter 25
The way Cassie drew back from him so suddenly was enough to startle him. He’d been lost in her eyes, in search of an answer—too deep to notice the sudden shift until it happened. He’d gone too far, and now she felt how he’d been feeling. He was gutted by the ease with which she described his every inner feeling. It was as if somehow she’d peered into the darkest parts of him and found them to be not so dark at all. But it was invasive—as was his way of seeing into her, he assumed.
He stood up from the table and walked around by her.
“There’s no need to change the subject. We’re just having a discussion. You can tell me if I’m wrong.” He leaned back against the edge of the table just beside her chair and looked toward her. “You can tell me it’s not my business if you want to.”
She stole a look up at him, and the moment he looked into her eyes his heart skipped a beat. The mixture of detachment and anxiety within her gaze was enough to make him guess that he was accurate about his assumption that she was good at avoidance when it came to true love.
“You’re not wrong.” She held his gaze for a long moment. “And it’s none of your business.”
He watched as she stood up from her chair. Just when he thought she was going to walk away an
d end their conversation entirely, she reached back for his hand. She didn’t take it. She just held her hand out behind her, palm up as she waited.
The sensation of gliding his palm against hers caused every muscle in his arm to tingle.
She gripped his hand tight and pulled him toward the door.
“I want to show you Emma’s room. It’s finished.”
He didn’t dare to mention that walking hand in hand through the mansion was bold, if not reckless. Tongues would wag and rumors would spread if any of the staff saw them together. But he didn’t care. He was still marveling at the impact of her palm against his.
When they reached Emma’s room she waited for him to enter the code. He turned toward her first. “I realize that I probably should have given you the code while you were working in here.”
“No.” She shook her head. “The less people that know, the safer it is for Emma.”
He tried not to wince—to take it as an indication that she didn’t care to earn his trust.
He punched in the numbers, then pushed the door open.
She reached up and flipped on the lights. Instantly he was transported to what felt like another world, the natural world, a place where he didn’t get to spend much time. From the ocean, to the sky, to the rolling grass of a meadow, Cassie had managed to capture every beautiful scene that he longed to share with his daughter.
“This is just amazing.” He took a step back so he could see more clearly, but he didn’t release her hand. “How did you do this? And so fast?”
Too fast. If she could paint Emma’s room this fast, then how long would it take to paint the foyer?
“Once I start painting, it’s difficult for me to stop. It’s as if I have to get the whole image out in order to breathe again.” She laughed. “That probably sounds absurd to you.”
“Not at all.” He gazed at the sky she’d painted, then looked over at her. “I think I’m learning what that feels like.”
Her cheeks grew pink but she pretended not to know what he meant. “Do you think Emma will like it?”
“I know she will.” He turned to face her, and with her hand still trapped in his, he tugged her closer. “Cassie, I could not be happier. Never before have I seen such beauty.” His gaze lingered on her, while with his free hand he brushed back her short black hair, tucking it behind her ear. Her cheeks seemed to flush even more, and his heart beat faster at how beautiful she looked. “Thank you—for opening my eyes.”
“I’m sure it’s something you’ve seen all along. Now it’s yours to keep,” she said in a voice that had gone very quiet all of a sudden.
“Is it?” His palm brushed the curve of her cheek.
She drew back at the intimacy of the touch.
“Cassie?”
“Wait, there’s more I want to show you.”
He expected her to brush him away, or even to jerk her hand from his. Instead, she tightened her grip. She led him back out of Emma’s room and down the grand stairway to the foyer. When he noticed the sheet pinned to the wall he smiled.
“You’ve started?”
“Just some.” She looked over at him quickly, then back at the sheet. “I’m not sure that you’ll like it. In fact, I’m not sure that I’m ready to show you.”
“I want to see.” He walked toward the sheet.
She ducked in front of him and blocked his way. “What if you don’t like it?”
“I’ll like it.” With his free hand he reached up to grab the sheet.
She caught his wrist before he could.
“I’m not sure I’m ready to show you.” Her voice quivered a little.
With his hand held above her head and his body pressed close to hers, his entire being longed for her. Whether it was the proximity, or the anticipation of what she might be hiding from him, he wasn’t sure, but he’d never experienced such a sense of excitement before.
“I’m ready to see. I want to find out what you’re hiding there.” He leaned just a little closer so that his cheek neared hers.
To his surprise, she tilted her head enough that he could feel the heat exuding from her flushed skin.
With gentle pressure he pushed her hand back against the cloth and intertwined both of their fingers with the rough material. One firm tug freed it from its pins and it cascaded to the floor behind her. The effect of the movement of the sheet, coupled with the vast beauty of what he could instantly make out as a Tuscan landscape, was enough to make him lose touch with reality.
For a split second he was in his personal paradise, only it was more beautiful to him than ever, because it framed her, with her lips upturned toward him and her eyes wide with curiosity. There was no chance of not falling into a fantasy that he never even knew existed.
With her hands still tangled in his, he caught her lips in one swift determined movement. The warmth of her mouth, her beauty, and the way her hands gripped his, as if to keep him in her grasp permanently, launched him into a new experience of desire.
Chapter 26
It happened so fast that Cassie wondered for a moment if she’d imagined it. But the intensity of his kiss was enough to make her very aware of reality. Her heart raced as Lucas pushed her back against the wall near where she’d started painting. With one hand still pinned above her head and the other clutched around his, she couldn’t convince her body to resist—nor did she really want to.
The warmth that spread from the touch of his lips to every nerve ending in her body inspired a sense of ecstasy within her that she hadn’t experienced in years. It wasn’t just a kiss. It was a moment—an experience—that burst at the seams with emotion and desire.
When his lips left hers and began to travel down the side of her neck toward the slope of her collarbone she shuddered and drew a sharp breath. A moment more and she would have been his, without question and with no hesitation.
“Lucas.” She breathed his name beside his ear and winced as another wave of pleasure carried through her.
His lips sought hers again, but she turned her head before they could collide with hers. “Enough.” She unwound her hands from his and let them settle to his shoulders.
He drew back from her and looked into her eyes. She could see the strain and confusion that darkened their gray hue.
She knew that he had no understanding of why she would reject him. After all, it was possible that he’d never been rejected before.
“I’ll say when it’s enough.” He lunged forward to kiss her again, but she shoved him hard on the shoulders.
“No. I say when it’s enough, and it’s enough.” She locked eyes to his and braced herself for the possibility that he would not submit to her having the control.
A powerful man like him was used to taking what he wanted. Could some of the stories she’d read about him be true? Was she wrong to believe that he was a very good man underneath it all?
He stared at her for a long moment before he shifted his gaze and body away from her.
“I must have misunderstood. I’m sorry if I took things too far. Of course you have no obligation to me.”
She took a step toward him and traced her fingertips along the rigid muscles of his back. “You didn’t misunderstand, Lucas. It’s not as if I’m blind to the chemistry between us. But I’m not interested in a fling. I’m not interested in what you would expect from me. You’ve given me such a great opportunity here, and I don’t want to do anything to harm that.”
“You think I’d use you and then fire you?” He raised his shoulders and shook his head. “I don’t understand how you can seem to read me so well, but there is so much you don’t see. I wouldn’t do that to you, Cassie.”
“You wouldn’t mean to.” She took his hand in hers and looked into his eyes. “But you would. Because it couldn’t ever be anything more than a fling. Then it would be difficult to have me here, and it would be difficult for me to be here. I don’t want the distraction. I just want you to tell me—do you like what I’ve started?”
; He cast a look over her shoulder at the wall near where he’d had her pressed against him only a moment before. “It’s beautiful, of course. But perhaps not quite as beautiful as it could be.”
“Oh?” She gritted her teeth and tried not to be disappointed.
“You’re painting from memory. Maybe that’s the problem. If you’re going to paint something as astounding as Tuscany, you should paint it correctly.”
The coldness in his tone surprised her. “I can paint over it if you like.”
“No, don’t.” He looked into her eyes. “You can continue.”
“Lucas, I hope that I haven’t offended you.”
“No, you’re absolutely right. You’re here for business. So if you’d prefer, you can call me Mr. Morgan, and I will only discuss the murals with you from now on. I’m sorry that I blurred the lines. I suppose I did feel a bit more entitled to your attention than I realized.”
Her heart dropped. Not only did she ache for him to kiss her again, but she knew that she’d be longing for their conversations about travel and life. Maybe she hadn’t gotten to know him very well, but she’d gotten to know him well enough to want to know more.
Now it seemed he was willing to cut off all interaction.
Then again, maybe it was a wise decision on his part. It was clear that the desire between them couldn’t be allowed to grow, as it was not so easy to control. The less time they spent together, the better.
“If that’s what you think is best, Mr. Morgan.”
“Good night, Cassie.” He turned and headed for the stairs.
She didn’t speak again.
As he disappeared, she felt like bursting into tears, but as usual, her pride wouldn’t allow for that.
Instead, she turned back to face the mural she’d begun. Was he right about her inaccurate depiction? Or was he just trying to cut her down in response to her refusal of his advances? The more she looked at the mural, the more she wondered.
She retreated to her wing of the house and began looking through photographs of Tuscany. It didn’t take long before she realized that Lucas was right. Tuscany was not so much about its landscape as how its light struck the earth. She hadn’t captured that light.
Forty and Free: A Sweet Romance Series Bundle - Books 5 - 8 Page 9
