Niagara-on-the-Lake did not fail to cast its spell and like so many others before them, they were captivated by its Old World charm. Unfortunately, it was only a look at the Fort through the palings, its season having already been completed.
‘When it’s open, they mount re-enactments of military engagements and have people in eighteenth century costume wandering about to bring the place to life,’ Sid explained.
‘Oh yes, like Black Creek Pioneer Village,’ she remembered.
Before going in to lunch they visited the Apothecary store, located opposite The Prince Restaurant. This really was a step back in time, featuring much of the old equipment and paraphernalia from the previous centuries. ‘Someone has made a loving and dedicated search to build up a collection like this,’ Ten remarked.
Lunch did not disappoint. Fettuccine Alfredo with a side order of salad that included radicchio and snow pea shoots was delicious. As an entrée they selected deep fried Camembert with salmonberries. Since the main course was rather on the light side, for dessert they had pumpkin pie and whipped cream. Ten indulged with a large glass of white wine, but Sid stuck to her usual light OV.
The journey home was leisurely. If something caught the eye, they would stop. Poking about antique stores was a new experience for Sid and one she found most enjoyable. By the time they got back in the fading light the sky was a brilliant crimson, scattered throughout with mackerel clouds. Now pleasantly fatigued, they were ready for the comforts of home.
The Rose or the Woman’s Common had been suggested, but in the end they decided against going out again. Neither wanted to see this day end, but they were powerless to hold back time, just like all other lovers before them and soon it was, they found themselves getting ready for bed.
Holding each other in close embrace, they had thought they would make love, but somehow the prospect of separation was too overwhelming. The change in their circumstances, one here the other in a town miles away, with no hope of that precious physical contact between them, their hearts could not be joyful in sexual release. Suffering under a millstone of melancholy, their bodies leaden, they were trapped in the mournful sorrow of their parting.
Sid murmured soothingly into Ten’s ear: ‘I know my love. You must be strong. We will get used to this. It will get easier in time.’ She had to believe it for her own sake too. She continued her gentle caresses.
‘Never.’ came the one word. Her voice shook. She could never be reconciled to this torturous state of affairs, but finally, she had to give way to the inevitable. After such a beautiful day, this ending was comfortless. To experience so much happiness and then be plunged into an abyss of dejection. It was heartbreaking.
* * *
The day, which had been anticipated with such mixed emotions, finally dawned. Sid had not set an alarm, her time constraints were minimal so whenever they awoke would do. As it transpired, they both woke up early, being unable to stay asleep with so much emotion churning away.
Breakfast was a dismal affair. For some reason, unknown to them, they spoke softly, almost whispering. Neither had an appetite and would have been content with coffee, but each made an effort for the other.
Inside, Ten was saying over and over: “I will miss her too much, I can’t stand this,” but she would not voice the words. Tears of frustration threatened to appear. There was nothing Sid could say either. She was leaving and that was it. Anyway, they’d been through it all a hundred times. Bags packed, she loaded up the Tercel. Ten had made sandwiches.
‘I’ll call you when I get there. Let you know I’ve arrived in one piece.’ She made an attempt at a smile; more like a grotesque caricature of a grin, while Ten was fighting to hold back tears.
‘Darling, be strong for me.’ She held her at arms’ length and looked deeply into her now dark-ringed eyes, searching them for those inner resources she was sure were there. Her face had the pallid aspect of a ghost.
‘Yes, yes I can. I’m just being silly right now. Overemotional.’ She bit her trembling lip. ‘But somehow I can’t stop the flow.’ She turned to more prosaic concerns. ‘You will drive careful won’t you? No speeding, right?’ This was her worst nightmare.
‘Sure thing. I’ve got lots of time. Now listen, I’ll try to make it back by noon Thursday, so I’ll still be able to take you to work.’ She held up her hand as Ten attempted to speak. ‘I know, Jocelyn helps you out …’ she forestalled ‘ …but hell’s teeth, I won’t have seen anything of you for four days,’ she objected, shortly. Her disposition was definitely raw.
One last embrace. She grabbed her keys and turned abruptly away, unable to prolong this moment; it had to be gotten through as quickly as possible. But that didn’t make it easy, or pain free.
Ten stood at the upstairs window, a stricken look to her face as she watched Sid follow her checklist before taking off. As her lover pulled slowly away from the curb, she had her hands crossed over her arms, rubbing them up and down slowly, as if this would help hold her together. A terrible pain filled her as she was swamped by a feeling of suffocation. She knew the goodbye was only temporary, but that thought was powerless to reduce this agony. An immense coldness held her fast as the tears coursed down.
She shook herself and went in search of tissues. The house was so quiet. She had never noticed before, how her footsteps echoed from room to room. It sounded weird; she felt too much alone. The silence had never bothered her, now it was oppressive. The only noise she heard was of her own making.
The telephone jangled, the chiming continuing in her head after each ring. She had jumped with shock; so on the edge. As she picked up the receiver she saw her hand shaking.
‘Hullo,’ she said bleakly, in an unsteady voice.
‘Tenille, Lyndall here. Are you all right?’ concern colored her voice.
‘Yes … fine.’
‘I thought I’d give you a call. See if I could make it easier on you getting to the Centre tomorrow. I know you will be without wheels now.’ She waited for Ten’s response. She had rehearsed this approach and wasn’t about to blow it by putting on too much pressure. She could feel the woman’s indecision at the other end.
‘Listen, I’ll give you my number and you can think it over,’ she said reasonably. She had sown the seed. ‘It’s on my way down and you may be glad of the company.’
‘That’s … that’s very thoughtful of you … Lyndall,’ Ten stammered out. Before she could say more, Lyndall came over the line saying: ‘Got pen and paper? Here’s my number.’ She rattled off the figures.
‘Sorry, Lyndall. My pen didn’t want to write so I missed the first part,’ she apologized. Lyndall didn’t mind. She’d gotten what she wanted.
‘Talk to you later.’ She signed off.
After that distraction Ten felt a little more encouraged and made herself another coffee, deciding to sit a while and see if she couldn’t put some structure into her life. She would start by contacting Phyllis and try to get back to full-time. Her leg was really good now. Maybe she couldn’t dance, but the swelling was so much better, she could do the work. In the end it was a profitable morning, Phyllis very pleased to have her back. The Thursday nights would just come round in the natural rotation, working out at about once a month. She could start tomorrow. Ten realized it would be coming up to twelve months with Phyllis. As a boss she was most accommodating and the time with her had been excellent experience. This led her to put in a call to Aldo at CKLN. She was informed his day was Wednesday, then asked if she’d like to leave a message. This didn’t help. She really needed to know if her working hours would be a problem. She opted to try again then.
Although the ache inside never left, she did get through the day and not so badly as she had feared. She couldn’t wait for Sid’s call that night. She needed to hear her voice. Later that afternoon the phone rang again. This time she was not so startled, her nerves settling down at last.
‘Hi Devon. How nice.’ She smiled into the mouthpiece.
‘I remembered y
ou said you’re home Mondays and Wednesdays, so I thought I’d give you a buzz.’
‘That’s right, although I’m just about to make some changes,’ she informed her.
‘Oh? Like what?’ she was intrigued.
She laughed. ‘Nothing spectacular. I’m just going back to work full-time that’s all. Now that I’m here alone all week, I’d rather be out at work than rattling about the apartment with nothing to do.’
Devon digested this piece of information then continued: ‘That’s great. Hey, what say you to ordering in some Chinese and I’ll invite myself over to help you celebrate?’
She chuckled, more at ease. The same old Devon, she didn’t change. Just as bold as ever. ‘That sounds fine by me, Dev. Then you can tell me all about your new beau. By the way, what’s his name?’
‘Eugene Midkiff. Gene.’
‘How did you meet? How long have you known him? How …?’
‘Hold on.’ This time Devon laughed. She was reminded of all the good times they’d shared. ‘You’ll get all my news Miss Inquisitive, when I see you.’
‘Okay, I’ll save them ’til then. What time do you think you can make it over?’
‘I’ve got to wait for an important call, then contact Dad. He’s out of town at the moment so I’m the go-between. As soon as that’s done I’ll call you from work then be right over. Okay?’
‘No problem. I’ll see you when I see you.’ She gave directions then they hung up, both with eager anticipation of the pleasant time to come. A visit from Devon would be just what she needed to help her get through this first evening.
* * *
Ten looked stunning, standing in the pool of light that cascaded down the stairwell from the open door. Devon had never seen her look more beautiful, hair loose to her shoulders. In that light it appeared to be surrounded by a golden halo, framing her face and making of her eyes dark pools in whose depths it would be a joy to swim. Her mouth, always full and sensual, was now gently curved in a most welcoming smile.
Devon stood momentarily as one transfixed. She had forgotten the immediacy of Ten’s attraction. To a mere mortal it was supremely overwhelming. Recovering her composure as rapidly as possible, she stepped over the threshold and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.
‘You’re looking well,’ was all she said. Ten had showered and changed into her wrap-around, black skirt previously used for dancing and a tight fitting, deep rose, Lycra top from the store. It crossed over, between her breasts and drew the eye to the perfection of their shape above her small waist. The ends were passed round behind her back and tied in rabbit’s ears in front. She had not chosen her wardrobe to be seductive, but rather as a return to her dancing days before the accident, when they had had such fun times. Be that as it may, Devon was knocked out by the whole effect.
‘Come in, come in.’ She turned and led the way upstairs. ‘Dev, I’ve ordered mountains of food ‘cause I haven’t eaten all day and now I’m starving.’ She cast a glance over her shoulder. ‘I hope you’ve got a good appetite?’
“I have indeed …” she thought as she followed her into the living room, taking in the rhythmical swaying of the hips as she walked ahead. ‘I’ve brought you this,’ she said out loud, holding up a narrow, brown paper bag. ‘It’s a sparkling Chardonnay, to complement the Chinese.’
‘Lovely. Thanks Dev. Come …’ she motioned her to sit, ‘ …the deliveryman should be here shortly. Do you want to start with this, or do you prefer something else?’
“Oo..o, I’ll take the something else.” ‘No, that’s fine. Nice place you have here.’ She looked about her admiringly. The room had a warm, relaxed feel. The food arrived and they were soon happily eating and chatting away as though there had never been any time apart.
Eventually, Devon got to talking seriously about what had happened on the tour. Ten could see she was very upset about it, her feelings running deep. It was at this stage Sid phoned. Ten knew she wanted to have a long talk, but it was rotten timing. Feeling badly at leaving Devon just now, she was not at ease and Sid picked up on this. She was not how she had expected on their first contact since the morning.
‘Is there a problem?’
‘Listen, I can’t talk right now,’ she declared bluntly. ‘Can I call you back later?’
Sid was not happy with this turnabout, but of course supplied the number of the residence. ‘There’s no one in the office after ten o’clock, so you must make it before then. This is just a call box in the lobby,’ she explained somewhat coldly. Rooms with phones were more expensive. Hers was at the cheapest rate.
‘Yes, yes of course, Honey. Bye.’
She hung up and returned from the kitchen to Devon’s side. ‘Sorry about that, Dev. Tell me, how do things stand now? Do you think you’ll get back to talking?’
The mood had been broken and Devon didn’t want to catch the threads. ‘I don’t know. I’ll just have to let matters take their course. Listen it’s getting late. I should go.’ She got up from the cushion where she’d been lounging at Ten’s feet. ‘It’s been a great evening. Next time you must come to my place. Promise?’ She collected her suede jacket and leather purse and checked for keys.
‘Yes, great Dev. We’ll do that.’ Ten went down to the side door with her and out to the car. ‘Oh, very nice. When did you get this?’ she was looking at a BMW convertible in gunmetal grey.
‘I brought it up with me from the States. You like?’ She looked pleased as Ten nodded.
‘Very much. What happened to the Porsche?’
‘It got sold. All right my dear. I’ll call you soon and we’ll pick a day.’ She leaned forward and gave her just a little goodbye kiss, but made it on the lips this time. Ten was surprised, but it was over almost before it was delivered. She waved goodbye and returned upstairs to call Sid.
Out of luck. Although it was before ten o’clock she couldn’t get anyone to pick up the phone. She would have to try again in the morning before work. Not feeling tired, she cleared away and washed up, mulling over the day’s events, busying her mind while her hands completed the tasks. She knew Sid had been disappointed at the way things had turned out. She hated that and wished she’d been able to speak properly at the time, but she’d been caught in a bind. If she had known then that communicating would be difficult, she would have acted differently. Well, she would just have to be patient and wait ’til morning. She could explain everything then.
The night was restless. No longer used to sleeping alone, she very much missed Sid by her side. “She’s probably feeling the same way.” Opening her eyes to check the time, it was only just after two … hours to go yet. At last she dropped off into a fitful, dream-tossed sleep.
When the alarm woke her at six-thirty she didn’t feel refreshed, but a shower did much to restore her energies and a strong brew of perked coffee finished the job. After her muesli it would be time to phone. No luck this morning either. She was able to leave a message though and had to settle for that.
Whilst standing by the phone, her eye spotted her jotting of Lyndall’s number. On impulse she decided to call and let her know she wouldn’t take her up on the offer of a ride. She caught her just as she was about to rush out the door. Such disappointment, so sure had she been of a ‘yes’. She hung up with a: ‘See you tonight, then,’ trying not to let emotion show through.
The decision to return to work full-time had been a wise one. She did think about Sid lots, but the distractions around her helped to fill the void. Last night had been terrible. Only sleep had gotten her past the aching emptiness, but that had been a long time in coming. It was dreadful to feel so alone. She experienced this desolate longing in the pit of her stomach, almost like a sickness. She could see Sid’s bright eyes and smiling mouth in her mind’s eye, but she also heard that rather aloof voice explaining the house rules. This cold voice had left her uneasy. Unable to tolerate friction between them, she needed the harmony of before. She needed to talk to her.
The store closed at fiv
e, but they didn’t get away ’til late. There was always the last tidy-up and the day’s takings to be reconciled. She grabbed a bite at the Eaton Centre’s Eatery Concourse and was glad of the ‘sit’ to take the weight off her foot. The leg had held up surprisingly well. The girls had helped, running up and down for her when they could.
She took the northbound subway up to College then caught the westbound #506 streetcar to #519. The Counselling Centre was on the third floor. She arrived well after six o’clock so everyone was already in full swing. ‘Sorry guys. I came straight from work and didn’t realize how long it would take by Transit.’
‘Relax Tenille. It’s cool. Can I get you a coffee?’ Rory, her helper on reception, offered. She looked flustered and in need.
‘That would be great, thanks.’
The evening flew by, as it always did. No dramas this week, but she did have to field constant calls. Colleen wasn’t there with Sundance tonight. She and Alida were off on a two-week vacation, leaving him to holiday with a friend in Markham. At the end of the night Lyndall approached and offered a ride home. This time Ten gladly accepted, knowing her limitations. She was anxious to make a speedy return, sure of a phone call tonight. In reflective mood on the journey, her thoughts were already with Sid. Lyndall tried to stimulate a conversational exchange, wanting to make the most of this opportunity, but knew better than to force anything.
At that time of night the street was devoid of traffic. There were no pedestrians, no barking dogs, the silence complete. At the door Lyndall reiterated her offer; at any time if she needed a ride, just to give her a call. They both got out of the car. A chill breeze disturbing the shrubbery, blew on their faces. Winter, which had been waiting in the far horizons, was moving ever closer.
‘Thank you Lyndall, that’s very kind of you. I really appreciate this lift home. It’s saved me a lot of time and trouble.’ Ten looked up at the tall woman and was truly glad to have her as a friend. She had a lovely smile, she noticed, softening the severity of her features.
Outing of the Heart Page 85
