by Ava Walsh
"Oh."
Clarissa watched her closely. Amanda hoped that she would take back the question, but it seemed that the human wasn't going to. The Wolf almost wanted to tell her it was none of her business and to butt out, but what good would that go? She let out a pent-up sigh and shrugged.
"We were just graduating from high school. Jace needed to concentrate on his future. There wasn't room for me. I don't blame him or anything, it's just a fact. He could go to Harvard, and he needed his space and time to concentrate on his schoolwork without worrying about me. It was for the best."
"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself."
Tears pricked Amanda's eyes. This wasn't something she should be talking about with her ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend, was it? "I'm sorry, I don't want to talk about this anymore. The past is the past. It was for the best that we weren't together. He would have had to give up all his dreams and he wouldn’t be where he is now if I had been in his life."
"I'm sorry. I was being pushy."
"It's fine. I just want this to settle, and reliving the past won't help that." Amanda pushed her plate away. "It won't help anything."
Chapter Eight
Living with Jace and Clarissa was hard, but shortly after Amanda and Logan moved in with them, the tabloid stories died down. It was probably the lawsuit that frightened the paparazzi off, and for that Amanda was grateful. If Logan wasn't so thrilled to actually be living with the Alpha, his father, she would have suggested that they move out again after a week. Being around Jace only made her heartache get worse every single day. At least the tabloids had moved onto other targets.
But the damage done to her reputation was already done.
"Hey, I know you."
Amanda tensed as she tried to ignore the woman's harsh tone, quickly grabbing a jar of peanut butter and putting it into her cart. Even something as simple as grocery shopping had become a chore, with people stopping, staring, and whispering. Then there were the people like this woman, who thought it was her job to protect Jace against women like Amanda.
"You're that skank that's trying to destroy the pack."
Stay calm. I can handle being called names.
But it wasn't the names that got to her. It was the feeling of being an outcast in her own hometown. She was raised on a farm out on the packlands. She went to school here. She took her courses at the community college right in town. This was literally the only place she had ever lived, and suddenly it was like she didn't belong here anymore.
"So, what do you want, anyway? To come between our Alpha and his mate so you can be the Alpha female?" The woman followed her into another aisle, her eyes lit with what she must have thought was righteous indignation.
"Leave me alone," Amanda said, looking for tuna fish. Logan loved tuna fish.
"That's rich, you're trying to tear the pack apart and—"
"I am not trying to tear the pack apart." Amanda whirled on her, eyes narrowed. "And you're not putting much trust in the Alpha if you think he'd be deceived by some skank."
The woman's face went red. Eyes narrowed. A growl rose from her chest. Amanda abandoned the shopping cart where it was and practically ran from the store. It was just getting worse. Jace promised that he would take care of it, but it seemed as if the more he put out official statements that there was nothing between himself and Amanda, the worse the bullying became.
If I move away, how will our custody agreement with Logan work? Would it even be fair to take Logan with me, away from his home and friends and the pack? From what Jace told her about his years outside the packlands, humans could be very cruel towards Shifters. Was it really within her rights to expose Logan to that at such a young age?
When she got out to the parking lot, she froze. Words were spray painted all over her beloved grandmother's car. Whore. Slut. Skank. Other words that were far worse. Amanda clamped her lower lip between her teeth as her eyes welled with tears. Well, whatever else, she couldn’t stay here.
She got into her mutilated car, hands shaking as she turned on the ignition.
Part of her wanted to drive out to her parents' farm, fall back into her old bed and sob until everything was taken care of. She had never had that much attention in her whole life. An introvert, all she really wanted was two or three close friends that she could rely on. Now, with all the negative attention pouring in on her, the weight was so strong that she thought she just might die before it broke.
By the time she got back to Jace's house, silent tears were streaming down her face. Luckily, neither Jace nor Clarissa was around. She didn't want to face them right now.
What do I do?
Amanda tried to calm down and think. Going to the farm wasn't going to help, not really. If she moved out of Jace's house and back to hers, would that stop the people from being so nasty? Or would that just make the house a target for people unhappy with the fact that six years ago she accidently got pregnant with Jace's son? Would Betty end up getting eggs thrown at her?
It seemed like a few days out of the public eye had helped the media frenzy die down. Maybe taking a few days out of town, getting some more time off work, and heading up into the mountains where she could just be herself, and run through the woods in her Wolf's skin would help with this situation. It had been months since she and Logan went camping.
Her mind made up, Amanda quickly made the preparations. She packed a cooler full of food and filled a backpack with clothes and toiletries. Her fishing rod and tackle was back at the house, so she'd grab that before picking up Logan from school.
But what was she going to do about her car? She couldn’t drive around everywhere with those words written on it. She would need to take one of Jace's vehicles. Fishing her cell phone from her pocket, she phoned him.
"Of course," he said when she explained what she had planned. His voice was thick with concern. "There's a four-wheel drive truck in the garage. The keys are in the glovebox. Are you going to be okay?"
"Yeah. I'll just pick up my tent and sleeping bags from the house and get Logan from school. He loves camping. He's like you." Amanda held her breath to stop a new sob from ripping from her.
"He's like you, you mean. I always hated camping. I only ever suggested it because you love it so much. Are you going to our old spot?"
Amanda couldn’t help a fresh well of emotion. That was so like him, pretending to like something so they could do something together. "Yeah. Maybe you and Clarissa can come up sometime?"
"Maybe." Jace sighed. "I'll take care of your car, and I'll find a way to get these people to listen to me and leave you alone. I'm their Alpha, they need to start respecting my word."
"They think they're on your side."
"They're not," Jace muttered. "And I'll make them see that… somehow."
Amanda wiped her face. "I should go. Logan will be out of school in half an hour."
"Yeah. Take care of yourself, okay?"
"Thanks. I—" She almost said 'I love you' but caught herself just in time. "I appreciate it."
She hung up and shouldered the pack, returning to the kitchen for the cooler. Maybe she was running away from her problems, but at this point, she didn't really care. She just had to get away from this town and figure out what her next step was.
***
Logan's tail flew in wide circles as he pounced into the stream, biting the water. He went under, yipping as he surfaced before he jumped on a floating leaf and tore it in half. Amanda grinned as she watched him play, loving the feel of the cool breeze brushing against her fur. With the dirt under her paws, she felt utterly relaxed–far more relaxed than she had been in months.
She splashed through the water towards her son, and when he saw her coming, Logan jumped onto the bank, then tried to bounce onto her back. He missed, hitting a deep spot in the stream. He went under all the way and began kicking wildly. Amanda grabbed the scruff of his neck and pulled him out of the water, setting him down on the bank. He wasn't hurt at all, just a littl
e scared, and she licked the water off his face to comfort him.
"Amanda?" Her ears rotated backward at the sound of the voice.
It was Jace. Logan yipped, then threw his head back and let out a thin howl. Amanda's wolfish face smiled as she gazed at her son and his attempts at howling, then faced the direction Jace's voice was coming from and howled, letting him know where they were.
She could smell him before he arrived. His rainy cedar scent stood out all the more in the midst of the birches and pines in this area. He wasn't alone, though. Clarissa's lilac scent came with him. Amanda's tail drooped in momentary disappointment, but as Logan ran towards the sounds of the two people headed their way, Amanda jumped into the bushes where she had left her clothes and shifted back into her human form.
"Hi, Logan," Clarissa said, sounding a little unsure. "Wow. He looks just like you in his Wolf form."
He did. Amanda smiled. In human form, he looked like her father, but as a Wolf, he was all Jace. Both of them suddenly let out protesting cries.
"Logan!" Jace cried. "No! You don't shake off around people like that. You got us all wet. Come here, you."
Amanda couldn’t stop a chuckle as she pulled on her clothes.
"Where's your mom?"
"I'm just getting dressed," she called, slipping on her shoes. She headed out of the bushes to find Logan still in his Wolf form, curled up in Jace's arms, dripping. She grinned at the sight. It was so sweet to see her son with his father. "So you two came up."
Jace nodded. "Yeah. We set up our tent already. We brought stuff for s'mores."
Logan yipped, wriggling so much that Jace almost dropped him. The Alpha laughed and set his son down. Logan immediately made a break for camp, Jace chasing after him. Amanda smiled at Clarissa as they headed back to the campground.
"How long will you two be staying?"
"I'm staying overnight," Clarissa said. "I don't know how long Jace will stay."
There was a mild edge to her voice, but Amanda didn't comment on it. Instead, she nodded as they continued. Camping was something that she and Logan were going to have to themselves in the future, it seemed, if both Jace and Clarissa weren't that fond of it. And that actually made her feel a little better.
Chapter Nine
It was midnight before Logan fell asleep nestled beside Jace, and the Alpha carried his son to the tent Amanda had set up for the two of them. Amanda sighed, stretching her feet towards the low-burning fire. This was her favorite time of camping: it was dark in the woods around her, and the fire was at the point where it was more smoldering coals than flame. The stars were so bright in the sky that she could see thousands of them.
"You just can't see the stars like this in town, or even at the farm," she sighed, staring up through the trees at the beautiful sight above them.
"It is pretty," Clarissa agreed. She smiled at Jace when he came back to sit next to her.
"Did you find the person that took the photos of Logan at the amusement park?" Amanda asked, still staring at the stars.
"Yeah. It was a journalist wanna be who thought that it was his big break." Jace shook his head. "Just a coincidence that he happened to be there the same time as us and overheard our conversation. He's a member of the pack, too. I'm still going to sue him to make sure that all the others out there get the message, but he seems like a good kid otherwise."
Amanda snorted. No doubt Jace was going to pay the kid's tuition for a journalist course. He was that kind of man.
"And you offered to help him out some way, didn't you?" Clarissa asked, laughing.
"Uh… yeah." Jace chuckled. "Am I that obvious?"
Amanda raised her head. "Yes."
Jace shrugged.
"So I have a question for the two of you," Clarissa said. She smiled at the two of them, her stance relaxed. "Why aren't you together?"
Amanda's hands went cold. She grabbed the stick she'd been using to stir the fire and poked around, watching Jace out of the corner of her eye. What had he said or done to prompt that question from his girlfriend?
"It's obvious that you two are still madly in love with each other. What I don't get is why after all these years, you can't just admit that you belong with each other. You," she pointed at Amanda, "just tell him that you love him. And you," she smiled at Jace. "Do the honorable thing and break up with me so you can be with your mate."
"But I'm not his mate," Amanda blurted. "If I was, he wouldn't have broken up with me—"
"When he was a teenager, you mean?" Clarissa gave her a severe look. "Everybody is stupid at eighteen."
"I graduated at seventeen," Jace muttered. "But she's right, Amanda. I was an idiot for breaking up with you. I could have just as easily been at the place where I am right now if I hadn’t."
"With a baby?" Amanda shook her head. "It's why I didn't tell you about Logan. You needed the freedom for your education."
"No." Jace tugged his hair, a nervous tick of his. "I didn't."
"Yes, you did."
"No. The first three months I could hardly do any schoolwork because I missed you so much. It would have been hard with a baby, yeah, but we would have made it work."
"I'm going to go back to the city tomorrow," Clarissa interrupted. "I'll release a statement that we broke up because I'm pregnant with another man's baby."
Amanda's eyes widened and Jace's jaw dropped. Both spluttered, but Clarissa shook her head, still smiling. It was like she was enjoying this.
"I'm not pregnant."
Jace's shoulders relaxed. "Then why are you going to say you are?"
"Because in the big scheme of things, it doesn't matter what people think about me. I have a job offer up in Alaska, which is what I've always wanted, but it won't be enough for the townfolk to forgive you, Amanda, for being with the man you should be with." Clarissa shook her head, a brief look of anger crossing her face. "They'll blame you for breaking up the 'perfect' union even though it should be obvious to everyone that you two are mates."
Amanda and Jace looked at each other. Her heart pounded. All these years she forced herself not to hope while it broke her heart not to be with him. She always thought she was just a pathetic girl to keep pining for the high school boyfriend who broke up with her. The thought that they were mates often occurred to her, but she stubbornly refused to believe it.
"My indiscretions will keep the public eye off of you for a while," Clarissa continued. "And hopefully, it will be enough that the pack will start accepting you as their Alpha's mate. In a few months, I'll announce that I had a miscarriage."
"You shouldn’t have to lie and ruin your own reputation," Jace said, taking Clarissa's hand in his. "I'm sure that we can figure out—"
"No. You two have already lost a lot of time together. I'd rather just get out of your way. I'll miss you," she added, touching Jace's face. "You're a great guy, and I would have been a really lucky girl if you had actually loved me. But I want you to be happy."
Jace kissed her lightly, making Amanda turn away. Her heart was still pounding so hard she thought it might just burst. What if Clarissa was reading too much into the situation, and Jace didn't actually still love her? After years, repressing her hopes was too ingrained in her life for her to just flip a switch and jump back into his arms. Even if they were mates, they had been apart for so long. They had to get to know each other again; they still had to learn how to act around each other. And then there was Logan to think about.
"I'm going to bed," Clarissa said, standing. "I think you two have some things to talk about."
"Clarissa," Amanda started, but the human shook her head.
"There isn't anybody I'd rather give him up for than you. I've put a lot of thought into it and it's the right thing to do." Her fingers trailed over Jace's shoulders. "Although it would have been nice to have sex just once."
With that she left them alone, staring at each other over the flickering light of the dying fire. Despite how late it was, Amanda was brimming with energy. Grabbing th
e bucket of water she had to put out the fire, she poured it over the coals.
"I'm going for a run," she said. "Want to come with me?"
Jace nodded. Soon they were off, their paws pounding the earth, dodging trees and ducking under branches as they ran side by side. To her surprise, Amanda actually outstripped Jace. He was in such good shape that she thought she would be the first one to give up, but when he barked at her to stop, she ducked behind a bush to shift back and slip the loose dress she had brought over her head
"It's been far too long since I've run in my Wolf form," Jace said when he emerged from his own spot wearing a pair of jeans. "I can run further than that as a human, but…"
"You're going to have to do better than that as Alpha," Amanda teased.
"Yeah." Jace groaned as he lied down on the forest floor.
Amanda laid down beside him and he put his arm around her. The familiarity was so relaxing and she smiled. "So do you think it's true?"
"That we're mates?"
"Yeah."
Jace rolled, gazing down at her. "What do you think?"
Amanda stroked his cheek. "I love you. I have from the first time I saw you."
"When I broke up with you on graduation, you didn't fight me."
"I was trying to do what was best for you. I thought if you knew I was pregnant, you wouldn't go to Harvard. You'd give up your dreams and end up never leaving the town to become the billionaire lawyer you are now. I wanted to fight. I wanted to follow you to Harvard and never let you go, but…"
"But you did what you thought was best for me. I did what I thought was best for me, too. And I'm so sorry." He cupped her face. "I never stopped loving you, either. Throughout these past six years, I wondered if I ruined my chances with my mate because of my pride… Did I?"
Amanda shook her head. She rolled, pressing her mouth against his. The familiar sensation of sparks heating her blood surged back and she moaned, pressing her body against his. His hands tangled in her hair as he answered her urgency with his own. He rolled, pinning her under his body. Their lips parted—
