“I don’t understand it either,” Winston agreed. “We need to maintain our vigilance.”
Jackson nodded. “Anyhow, you go and clean up. I’m sure you can do with some rest.”
Winston had been gone for over twenty-four hours. He’d asked for a hunt assignment. He’d specifically requested to haul the carcass. That way, he wouldn’t have to speak to anyone. He hadn’t been the best company of late. Winston wished he could head out on his own but safety in numbers was all important. He’d been especially cranky this weekend. Winston had volunteered to stay there, even though he missed Ana something fierce. He still believed it was for the best though. Ignoring her texts was becoming more and more difficult.
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Here.” Jackson handed him a parcel. “Some food. I’m sure you’re hungry.”
“Starving. Thank you!” He took the parcel. Winston could scent nuts, an apple, jerky and freshly baked bread. A thick steak would have been amazing but this would do the job just as well. It didn’t help to complain.
Winston turned to leave.
“Oh,” Jackson said, “I almost forgot, Kane was looking for you earlier. I think he’s in the dining hall.”
“Oh?” Why would Kane be looking for him? “Thanks.” He walked around the building and into the large room. He spotted the male sitting with a group having lunch.
Kane looked up, he grinned, mouth full of food. Kane called him over with the sweep of a hand.
The male swallowed. “Hey,” he said. “I ran into that sweet little human on the weekend.”
Winston clenched his teeth. There was only one human Kane could be talking about.
“She came by the hotel, popped past my suite.”
Motherfucker! Winston’s hands curled into fists at his sides. “I don’t want to hear about it,” he growled, bile in his throat and already turning on his heel.
“No, bro! You have it wrong!” Kane yelled. “She was looking for you.”
His heart beat a little slower, his blood cooled, just a little. “Me?” He turned back.
“Yes, she told me to tell you that she needs to see you. She has something important that she needs to tell you.” He cocked a brow. “No idea what it was about.” He shrugged and shook his head.
“Thanks!” Winston strode out of the dining area. Ana had been looking for him. Why? What could she possibly have to say? She probably wanted to tell him that she valued him as a friend. That she wanted to keep seeing him … as a fucking friend. No, thank you! He couldn’t go down that road.
“Winston,” someone called from behind him.
“Yeah?” He turned.
It was Ash. “I overheard your conversation with Kane.” He smiled.
“Look,” Winston put his hands up, “I don’t plan on going to Sweetwater.”
Ash folded his arms. “So,” his smile turned feral, “I was right … there’s something up with your female. She’s the reason you’ve been acting like a bear with a sore head.”
“I’m a wolf. I’m not a fucking bear.” He smiled. It lasted all of a split second. “And my head’s just fine. How many times do I need to tell you that she’s not my female?”
Ash rolled his eyes. “If you say so. Are you in love with her?”
Winston squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t help the deep sigh that was pulled from him.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
Winston nodded. “Okay, but she doesn’t feel the same way about me. Even if she did ‒ and she doesn’t ‒ I’m not on the list so I can’t act on it. I’m not going to fuck things up. I plan on obeying the lores.”
“You done?” Ash raised his brows.
“Yeah.”
“Your female was looking for you at the Dark Horse on Saturday night.”
He frowned. “Ana went to the Dark Horse?”
“Yup.” Ash nodded. “I kept my eyes on her and you’ll be happy to know that she turned down any advances. I even made a move on her, but—”
“What the fuck, Ash?” Winston took a step towards the male. His fur bristled beneath his skin.
Ash laughed. “I was just testing her. Calm the fuck down. I wouldn’t do that to you. She turned me down flat, even told me that she has the hots for you.”
“Ana said that?” Something eased in him. “Nah, that couldn’t have been Ana.” He shook his head.
“It was her. She asked about Kane and then went to the hotel so that she could give him the message you just heard.”
“She said she has the hots for me?” Could it be? Then again, maybe it was all back to the sex.
“She did. Normally I wouldn’t get involved, but you seem to really care for this female.” He took a breath.
“I do. I care very much about her. I wish I knew why she went to the Dark Horse. Her real reason.”
Ash narrowed his eyes. “She also mentioned that she was in love with you.”
“What? Are you sure you heard her correctly?” Winston was too afraid to get excited.
“I’m a fucking shifter and an alpha … my hearing is just fine. That female is in deep. Just as deep as you are, by the looks of things,” Ash chuckled. “I fucking told you so.”
Winston could feel his heart pounding. The air seized in his lungs. “Fuck!” He ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t believe it.” He pushed out a breath. “Okay, good! Thank you for telling me. I won’t fuck this up. I’ll wait until the next Shifter Night to go and see her and we’ll bide our time until my name comes up.” He didn’t try to hide his enthusiasm. “Anything is possible. Any-fucking-thing.”
“Hold up!” Ash looked at him pointedly. “That female might be in love with you but you can’t assume that she wants to mate you. It doesn’t work that way with humans. This one is scared … I could scent it on her.”
“You’re right!” He could hear the disappointment in his voice. Humans could be strange creatures. Ana had been through a lot. “Shit!” He wished he knew what was going through her mind. Where she stood on this. How she really felt and why.
“Go,” Ash barked.
It took a few moments for Winston to register what his friend had said. “Excuse me? What was that?”
“I said go. I already cleared it with Ward. You’re useless to all of us like this.”
“Go, as in …?”
“Go and talk with this female,” Ash growled. “Sort out your shit.”
Winston felt excitement rush through him. “To Sweetwater?”
“Yes, to Sweetwater, but you need to be back tomorrow.”
“Thank you.” He began jogging.
“Winston!” Ash barked.
He stopped and turned.
“I suggest you shower first when you get there. You’re ripe, bro.”
“I’ve been out hunting for the last few days. Give me a break.”
“Have you seen how awful you look?” Ash gave him the once over. “Your chest is covered in gore, as is your back. Your hair is plastered to your scalp. Fuck, but you stink.”
Winston grinned. “I’m excited to see Ana, but of course I’ll shower first.”
“And, you have to wait until your name comes up. No exceptions. A little birdy told me that you don’t have much longer to wait. Don’t make assumptions though, she’s a human.”
Winston grinned. “My name is almost up?” His voice was animated.
Ash nodded. “Yeah. Go! I’ll see you tomorrow.”
That was all the urging Winston needed. “Okay, thank you! I won’t assume anything.” He took off in in a flat-out run, his fatigue forgotten. He was thankful Ash had urged him to clean up because he would’ve forgotten to do that as well.
23
That evening …
Ana parked in her space, just in front of her apartment. It was late. She yawned and rubbed her eyes. Then she grabbed her purse and sucked in a deep breath. She hated this part. It was why she didn’t work late shift much. Her whole body prickled as she got out of the car. She pushed the butto
n to lock the car door and walked towards her building entrance. She had her cellphone in one hand and her keys in the other.
Her phone vibrated. She ignored it and kept walking. Her phone vibrated a second time as she reached the door to the building. Ana glanced at the screen.
Don’t freak out!
It was from Winston; why would Winston send her a message like this? Then she scrolled down and almost dropped her phone.
I’m behind you.
“Winston?” she whispered.
“Yes,” his deep voice punctured the dark. Then he was behind her. Right behind her. So close she could feel his warmth. “It’s me. You’re safe.”
Ana turned and there he was. Tall, oh so very tall. She had to crane her neck to look him in his eyes. His beautiful golden-brown eyes. She’d missed those eyes. She’d missed him so much. She wasn’t sure whether she grabbed him or whether it was he who grabbed her. It might have been both of them at the same time. Next thing she knew, she was wrapped up in his arms though, in the tightest hug, and holding on like she never wanted to let go. A sob escaped. “It’s you.”
“I’ve got you,” his voice was husky with emotion.
“I’m so sorry!” She could feel her eyes tearing up.
“I’m sorry too. I could’ve handled things better, I—”
“No, I had another one of those stupid attacks. I said things I regret. I didn’t mean it …”
“Let’s go inside.” He pulled back, looking her in the eyes. “We need to talk this out. I’ll understand if you panic but you need to understand that I’m not leaving. I’ll stick it out with you. We’ll do this together.”
Warmth flooded her. “Okay … it’s a deal.”
She unlocked the door and they made their way up the stairs and along the hallway. Ana unlocked the security gate and the door and they went inside. She felt safe enough to forgo the deadbolts and the chain and merely pulled the door closed. She was safe with Winston. No one would dare break in or try anything as long as he was there.
“Would you like something to drink?” she asked, walking towards the kitchen. Winston followed. “Something to eat maybe? I’m sure you must be quite thirsty,” she was babbling but couldn’t stop. “You’ve come a long way. So, what have you—”
Winston gripped her hand and squeezed. “I don’t want anything but you.”
Wow! Direct and straight to the point. Don’t panic, Ana.
“You know my feelings,” Winston went on. “I’m in love with you and it’s as simple as that. You’re my Miss Right. The only female I want to be with.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. Her breathing was definitely speeding up and she felt hot all over. “This is moving a bit quick. I’m not sure I can deal with …” She sucked in a few lungfuls of air. Those feelings of guilt returned. “I was so sure I could handle this but now that you’re here … damn, it’s hard.” She looked down at the floor, working hard at staying calm. “Sex? I think so …” She looked him in the eyes. “Friendship ‒ is a definite yes. Working towards more … I can do that too. The thought of a relationship scares me to death though.” She shook her head, feeling lost. Feeling her skin tighten. “I don’t know if I can go there.”
“What are you saying?” He narrowed his eyes. “We were so connected the last time that we were together, that we almost had sex. We were this close.” He held two fingers millimeters apart.
“That was fake. Completely fake. We were fake dating.” She squeezed her eyes closed. What was wrong with her? Why had she said that? It was utter nonsense.
“It wasn’t fake to me.” His voice was deep, his eyes intense and locked with hers. He looked angry and hurt.
She pushed out a breath. “It wasn’t fake to me either. I don’t know why I even said that.” Flip, she could feel the air thin. Ana gulped in a couple of deep breaths. “I need some water. I might need a few minutes to catch my breath.”
“Take all the time you need.” He stayed in the doorway to the kitchen, giving her space. He leaned against the jamb.
Ana grabbed a water, she continued to breathe rhythmically. Do. Not. Panic. She could do this. “Do you want one?”
He shook his head.
“Okay, then.” She took a deep drink, beginning to feel a bit better. “There’s something important I need to tell you. I wasn’t completely honest with you before.” Shit! Edith was right. She needed to come clean before she could move forward.
He didn’t say anything. Just stood there calmly, watching and waiting. There, but without pushing her.
“John was my husband.” There, it was out.
Winston frowned. “You were mated? John?” He shook his head. “Your date? The male who was killed?”
She licked her lips and sniffed, trying hard not to cry.
“I’m sorry!” Winston walked to her and put his arms around her. “I’m so damned sorry. No wonder.”
“We were married for three years. We were out celebrating ...”
Winston nodded, his eyes firmly on her.
“Um …” Her throat tightened and a tear slipped out. “This is hard,” she sniffed.
Winston pulled her into a tight hug. “Take your time.” His voice was thick with emotion. “All the time you need.”
Several minutes passed. “I didn’t tell you because I hate to talk about it.” She paused, another long minute passed. “We were celebrating because …” She bit down on her lower lip for a moment, trying to compose herself. “I was pregnant,” she finally blurted, her voice muffled against his chest. Thank god that was out too! Winston tried to pull away, so that he could look at her, but she held tight. “No, don’t! I had just found out that I was having a boy … we were going to have a little boy.” She made a sobbing noise, breathing deeply to try to keep control. “We were so excited. John decided to take me out to celebrate.” She turned her face into him and sobbed. It still hurt. Four years later and she could still remember it like it happened yesterday. “After it happened, after John was killed and they took his body away, I started having cramps. They rushed me to the hospital. They did everything they could.” She was still crying, her breath coming in gasps.
“Oh, Ana …” Winston held her, he rubbed his hands up and down her back. “I’m so sorry.” He held her tight.
“I lost them both that night. My husband and my baby. My family … my whole world.”
“I’m so fucking sorry,” his voice was choked.
It took a few minutes to compose herself. She pulled away, using her hand to wipe at her face. “I don’t understand why he didn’t listen.” She wasn’t sure where that had come from, or the anger. This was new.
Winston was frowning deeply.
“Why didn’t John just hand the stuff over? They were things. Stupid, replaceable items.” The anger inside of her grew and grew. “The guy was a two-bit criminal!” She was shouting now. “He was more afraid than we were. The gun went off. If John had just cooperated. If only he had listened ‒ he’d still be here. We would have our baby.” The pain was back, it blossomed inside of her. “Why didn’t he just hand it over? Why did he have to fight? Why?”
“He did it because he loved you. He loved both of you.” Winston clenched his jaw, his eyes were tormented. “He was trying to protect his female and his unborn child.”
She was crying again. Enough with these damned tears. “John loved me very much. We’d been trying for over a year for a baby. So, maybe you’re right.” Ana realized how much better she felt. She’d never realized how angry she was. How much she had blamed John for her being alone. For what had happened. “I’ve been holding onto all this anger. I didn’t even realize.”
“It sounds like he was a good male.”
“He was.” She smiled. “He was a good partner.”
“I would have done the same, in a heartbeat ‒ if you were mine. I agree with him on that. I understand if you need time, if you—”
“I need you, Winston. I’m completely and utterly in love with you.
Edith and I talked about it but I didn’t realize it until one of your shifter friends brought it up,” she waved a hand, “at the Dark Horse. I was looking for you, I … it isn’t important.”
“That was Ash. My best friend, he was the one you mentioned it to.”
“Did he tell you?”
Winston nodded.
“So you knew,” she gasped. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Winston nodded. “Yeah I knew, but I needed to hear it from you.” He stepped in closer to her, cupped her face in his warm, calloused hands. “I love you so damned much.”
“I’m so sorry. I should never have asked you for sex. It wasn’t because I wanted to use you. I guess I wanted to be closer to you but I didn’t know how.”
“I understand. I was upset, I’ll admit it, but I understand better now.”
“Does that mean we get to have sex now? I might just be able to this time …” Her eyes widened. “I hope.” She looked upwards. “I pray. Can we at least try?”
“No.” He shook his head.
“No?” Her voice was laced with frustration.
Winston chuckled. It was a warm, rich sound. “It could be months before I make the list. It might even be as long as a year. Ash told me it’s coming up, but it could still take time. I’ll only be able to see you on Shifter Nights. With all the shit going on, it might not even be that often.” He turned really serious, frown lines marred his brow. “It wouldn’t be fair to make you wait like that.”
Ana laughed. She rolled her eyes as well for good measure. “A few months? I’ve waited years … you might still have to wait until I’m forty-nine before …” She wagged her eyebrows. “Before we can have sex.”
Winston kissed her softly. “We’ll have to take things really slow then,” he said as he pulled back.
“Not too slow though. I’d like to try that orgasm thing again.”
“Oh, I would fucking love to make you come. I’m going to pick you up now.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
He lifted her off of the ground and kissed her. Then he pulled back. “Would you prefer the sofa or your bed?”
Shifter Night: Box Set Page 15
