by Kumar, Lisa
Relian sighed, and his rigid posture deserted him. “We’ve indeed been lax in considering the worry to both you and your families. It wasn’t our intention to have you suffer in silence. Please don’t think you have to keep doubts such as these private until you can no longer contain them. We don’t always have the forethought to bring up pertinent subjects before they become a concern. On this matter, we can assure you there’s no cause for worry. It’s not that time flows differently between the two realms but rather that traveling through the veil can distort time, alter it if you will. While we don’t know the exact mechanics, when you go back—for you will, that was never in question – it’ll take you to the time in which you need to be.”
Then why not tell them that before? She shook her head. “But no one ever mentioned we could go back, at least not for sure. It has always been “give us time before you make a choice” and other things like that, never a concise answer. I’m sorry if I seem disbelieving, but why the complete honesty now?”
“We believed that only the barest of facts would serve you well at the beginning.”
Cal frowned. He left the “and us” unsaid, for it was blatantly obvious it’d been for the elves’ benefit, too.
A thin smile covered his lips. “But I can see the time has come for you to be made aware of a few facts. Travel through the veil can be achieved if we so desire, though it appears when it chooses to, in its own time. Once it appears, the veil has never denied us entrance. I see no reason why you two wouldn’t be allowed to go back, at least if you’re accompanied by a contingent of elves.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. It sounded as if Relian and his people had more control over the veil than they led her and Maggie to believe. “Contingent?”
His hands tightened upon hers. “While we think you can return to your homeland, the veil does desire your presence here and will seek to ensure your return. Without an escort, you might not be given entrance through the veil.” Cal started to interrupt to inquire about Maggie, but he held up a hand. “We don’t know about Lady Maggie, but until we find otherwise, we suppose the stipulations would be the same for her.”
Again, he left something unsaid—not only would the veil deny them entrance, the elves themselves would until they agreed to the stipulated provisions. Even if she could go home, they expected her to come back. So much for free choice. Whether she was with Relian or not, it seemed they contrived to ensure her future was here. Were he and his kisses the consolation prizes? Nausea flowed into her stomach when she thought about Relian’s affections being nothing but a nicely placed sham. But if not for him, why would they seek to keep her here? What could a mortal offer that they didn’t already have?
Cal pulled her hands free of his. “So you’re saying I never had a choice? I never did, did I? Even the voluntary bond wasn’t so voluntary, but I suppose that’s how it usually works. Sure, you can refuse it, if you never want to be content again. And you used the veil as a scapegoat, saying it had total control over us going home.” She could’ve sworn a cloud of resigned sadness covered Relian’s face, but she didn’t know who or what to trust anymore.
“No one can force you to accept a bond that isn’t wanted.”
“But there are consequences, even if the bond is unwanted, isn’t there?”
Her cold voice caused him to startle, his eyes widening. “Yes,” he agreed quietly.
Cal’s heart clenched at that look, but she couldn’t find the kindness to reach out and assure him the bond was wanted. Was it? What did she desire? Something in the back of her mind wanted to explore that possibility, but she trampled it down. She had to master her thoughts. To reconcile the fact she had no choice in almost anything that surrounded her was hard. Right now the only thing she had a say in was the bond and only because it couldn’t be completely forced. No, only the beginnings of it could. How was that not forced, though? Even if she could get past the dubious start of the binding, the consequences of denying it reeked of emotional blackmail.
Talion’s voice broke into her thoughts. “This is a private matter. Let us retire and give them time to talk.”
Cal closed her eyes, having forgotten their audience. She only hoped this argument wouldn’t be all over Eria and beyond by this evening.
Maggie made no protest at leaving, as Cal feared she might. Did Maggie still think Relian was the one for her? She glanced at her friend and was surprised when Maggie leaned over and whispered, “They seem to thrive on secrecy, and I don’t like it any more than you do. But just listen to him, okay?”
Well, that answered her question of approval. She nodded mutely, and Maggie reached over and squeezed her hand. “We knew they were hiding some major issues. And I think this is just the beginning of it. Keep an open mind.” Cal blinked. Maggie could astound her with her level-headedness at the most unexpected of times.
She watched as Lord Avrin, his sleek brown head bent solicitously, escorted her friend out. Contemplating them for a moment, she gave herself a little shake. How could she think about matchmaking at a time like this?
As the door shut, Relian took up the seat Maggie had vacated, gazing steadily ahead. She didn’t know how long they sat thus, but her anger slipped away like sand through a sieve. She preferred it to the forlornness overtaking her, so she desperately gathered any remaining scraps.
“Why?” The tired sound of her voice surprised her.
He finally turned to her, and she almost gasped at the bleakness in his eyes. “It wasn’t as though I’d planned any of this. I wish I could offer you the freedom you so crave, but I’m as much a victim of circumstance as you. Yes, I won’t deny I know more of the situation, but knowledge doesn’t necessarily equate to power of control or choice. Believe it or not, we don’t hold the key to all answers.”
Not knowing why, she reached over and placed her hand on his, shreds of ire slipping away. “Then tell me. What’s going on? Help me understand.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want to burden you with more knowledge. I think you’ve had enough to mull over today.”
Relian was doing it again. She moved to pull her hand away, but he grasped her fingers tighter.
“There you go making my choices for me. I’m not a child.”
“I know you’re not.”
The forced patience in his voice caused her scowl. “Then tell me.”
“Not now.”
Frustration kicked in strong. The conversation wasn’t getting her anywhere. The secrets and word games needed to stop. “Why are you so close-mouthed? For goodness sake, stop treating me like a child.” She slapped at his hands, glaring at him.
She snorted. He returned the look, even though he held fast to her. “I never said you were one.” His heated eyes said otherwise. “It’s either that, or you don’t trust me. What else am I to think? You hold all the knowledge and only grudgingly part with little bits of it.” Her anger rose, usurping the frustration. “Is that why humans and elves didn’t get along? You gave us enough tidbits to paint a totally erroneous picture, and we tired of your mind games? Lord knows you’re all so frustrating.”
His face grew progressively darker during her diatribe. So he didn’t like some of her words? Good! While some of her accusations were unfair and only escalated the situation, she wouldn’t have been astonished to find out her words held a grain of truth.
“No,” he grated out. “We would’ve never...that is not why we left.”
“Then why?” The heat of her demand coursed through her veins like liquid fire, making her voice tremble. She wanted a straight answer for once.
His face tightened as bitterness fell like a shroud around him. “Humans were fickle things and more than likely still are.”
His sanctimoniousness staggered her, rankling already frayed emotions. Oh, he wanted to go down that road, did he? When he had already infuriated her? Not a wise choice. Well, she’d be happy to oblige him, but she wouldn’t be the one coming out the fool.
Standing and ripp
ing her hand from his, she forced herself to speak in a level tone, all previous trembling hidden away by the cold rage that infused her. “Oh, so elf-kind cannot be so?”
Relian took a deep breath, and an icy mask descended over his face. “Many temper such tendencies with age.” His voice rang with conviction and assurance.
She growled at him. Admittedly, what he said had some truth to it, but the extreme years involved in such “tempering” couldn’t be overlooked. How dare he judge her people by the same standards to which he held his own? His stance echoed the unrealistic expectation that children should cope with life’s trials by using the calmness and unflappability of someone their grandparents’ age. It wouldn’t happen.
“Well, after several millennia or more, I would hope so.” It was her turn to take a deep breath to reign in her temper. “And who ever said humans never learned such control? Admittedly, we’ve not perfected it to your level, as we have only the short years given us. Is it fair we have eighty or so years, if we are lucky, to learn everything you deem necessary or proper that took you hundreds or even millennia to learn? In fact, it’s something I believe you’re still honing down to a fine nothingness. Of course, there’s no fickleness or such. There’s nothing. A certain tranquility and calmness rule here—the proscribed emotions of your race. Oh wait, unless it’s displeasure, superiority, or murderous tendencies that make an appearance. The other socially proscribed emotions!”
She stood rooted to the spot, breath heaving its way out of her chest, her heart pounding in her head. She wanted to sit, wanted to explode, but all she could do was look at him. Stare into the eyes that had grown so wide before he shuttered all expression. Yes, he was closed off, and she was so done with him, with the whole situation. “What a crock. I may have to stay here, but I sure as hell don’t have to spend “here” with you. You’ve ruined my life ever since I was a young girl. No more. Go find yourself another guinea pig or whatever it is you’re looking for.”
Cal swung around to leave. As her hand fumbled for the doorknob, he slammed the door shut. She froze. Rough hands spun her around before his body pressed her against the door. Looking up into wild eyes, all she could think was, Oh crap, as his mouth crashed down on hers. He ravished her lips until he gained access to their inner reaches. The surprise that held her immobile melted away, and she struggled against arms that banded like steel around her. Relian held tight until she softened under his onslaught and responded to his kisses. Tears ran down into her mouth and mingled with the taste that was uniquely Relian.
With a muffled curse, he pulled away and stared at her with an inscrutable face before stalking to a side door. The sound of it slamming echoed through the room. She winced. Her knees gave out. She slowly slid down the door and buried her head in her hands, not moving for a long time.
***
Cal shuffled into her chamber, arms around herself, head down. Her mind…it was all chaos. Her life fared no better. She wanted to go home and forget this whole myth of a nightmare. It shouldn’t even exist. Her nice, comfortable life should, where she only had to worry about acing her next test or arriving on time to rehearsals. That should be her reality, not this. In no foreseeable way could immortality mix with mortality, elf with human. The feasibility of it didn't seem possible now. To think otherwise was insanity. Heck, one elf had tried to kill her, and she’d already spent much of her life in therapy. She shivered in spite of the warmth of the room, whose grate was piled high with burning wood.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
The voice startled Cal out of her thoughts. She glanced at Maggie and shook her head.
“Okay.” Maggie stood up from her chair as Cal trudged to the bed, kicking her slippers off. Maggie pulled the sheets and comforter down as Cal dropped onto the bed. Cal yanked the covers over her head and released a new stream of tears. The chair her friend had been sitting in creaked, telling Cal she was still in the room.
Her relationship with Relian had been going so well. But how could she be surprised at today’s outcome? She’d been fooling herself, overlooking so much. Too much. He kept more secrets than the average woman did shoes.
Their argument played over in her mind. Her words had been harsh but true. Tranquility was the outward mien, though she and Maggie had noticed an iciness and even a subtle hostility that at times came peeking through. That told them there were fires carefully banked and hidden in these people. Displeasure wasn’t a foreign emotion to them. She’d experienced the sting of it too many times already for it not to exist. Other emotions weren’t far behind, just well hidden.
That violent kissing episode certainly proved that. She sniffled and wiped a hand over her nose. Relian’s fire had burned away his composed façade, had burned her. Elves, a people so similar to humans, did have some of humanity’s failings and fragility. Instead of scaring her, this idea heartened her. It wouldn’t be normal for even elves to be...so inhuman. Touching her tingling lips, she found them slightly tender. He’d definitely lost his calm. This thought made her smile for some absurd reason. She had made him lose it.
Her realization didn’t solve anything. The smile slid from her face.
Chapter 26
The last remnants of fall’s warm air caressed Cal’s skin as she wandered around one of the gardens. It was one she’d frequented with Relian. She sighed at the thought of his name.
She’d avoided him for days. Even with her latest revelation concerning her ability to shake his calm façade, fury still smoldered in her gut at him. For the elves to admit she could return home, even for a visit, would’ve taken away some of their leverage. So would’ve telling her she had no choice in her so-called decisions. How could she forgive him for his deception and many omissions?
Cal trailed her fingers along a stone ledge and frowned. Not so long ago, her fingers would’ve been running through his hair, instead. He would sit beside and pull her int— She dug her palm into the rough stone. No, he’d closed that path with his actions.
Fortunately, Relian avoided her, too. Sorting out her mind was easier that way. Could they salvage their relationship even if she had the desire to do so? Either way, the time for talking would soon come.
Dread welled up in her at the sure-to-happen event. Maybe Relian was merely a good actor who served as the consolation prize to make up for the fact they kept her in Eria. But why would the elves offer up the prince of their realm for such a role? Picking someone else of less importance would’ve made more sense if the binding were merely fodder with which they fed her. Why did they even want her here? And then there were his remarks about humans. Part of her could see where he got his ideas, but his elitist views still rankled. Going home had never sounded so good. That idea caused a pang of homesickness. She’d rather be buried under mountains of college assignments and work hours than stranded in this seeming limbo.
The crunch of leaves underfoot sounded behind her, causing her to turn. She froze. Relian stood at the entrance to the garden. He walked a few more paces and then stopped. So he was no more eager for the looming conversation than she was.
Even though his clothes and hair were as immaculate as ever, the pallor of his normally tanned skin riveted her attention. Were those dark circles under his eyes? Elves might be long-lived but apparently were susceptible to some of the same ills as mankind, like sleeplessness.
Schooling her emotions, she willed her expression steady. Why couldn’t anything be easy? Normal. Falling for a nice human boy would’ve been great. Why did it have to be an elf prince with a dimension that stood between them?
Relian’s face turned grimmer as he marched over to her. He stared, his gaze not leaving hers. She fidgeted but met his eyes bravely, even though she wanted nothing more than to break that connection. She got her wish when he closed his eyes.
His words came quietly. “With you, nothing ever turns out the way I expect.”
Cal floundered. He’d so closely echoed her thoughts. She swallowed past the knot in her t
hroat, but words still wouldn’t come.
His face creased with remorse. “Only you could make me so furious, yet regretful.” Shaking his head, he looked at her. “How you make me remember forgotten truths or maybe truths that were never learned.”
“W…what?”
“My heated words…I’ve come to regret them. While they may have some truth to them, I can’t deny my people’s untold years to develop their skills, mental and physical. We can’t judge humanity by our standards or ever do so. I didn’t mean to disparage your people. You’ve been none of those things to me.”
She frowned at him. “So you believe your people to be superior?” Please, he better answer this right.
“No….” He trailed off when she sent him a challenging look. “Truthfully, I haven’t given it much thought, but I suppose like many other elves, I believed our advantages gave us a certain higher ground. But perceived superiority is easy to foster against a group who isn’t present to speak for itself.”
“Kind of convenient, huh?” She wasn’t being very sympathetic, but the desire to enact a little reparation flamed within her. Let him grovel a bit. He’d put her through enough in the past week, the past months.
“You’ve proved me wrong.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “What do you mean by that?”
He quickly backtracked. “Only that you are here to speak for your people, and you’ve proven my thoughts wrong.”
“Uh huh.” Her fingers drummed on her arms.
His lips tightened. “Why must you misunderstand everything I say?”
She threw him an incredulous look. “Now your words are my fault?”
