by Marla Monroe
“I still don’t think I can be who you need, but I’ll try for now.” There, she’d said it.
He grabbed her in his arms and hugged her. “I promise to make you very happy. I will take good care of you, Charlotte.”
“What is in the room at the end of the hall with the lock on the outside of the door?”
He sighed again. “I’d hoped to wait a while to show that to you. Do you need to see it tonight?”
“Yes, if we’re going to do this, we don’t need any secrets between us.”
He drew her to her feet and led her to the room down the hall. He uncoded the lock and opened the door. When the door opened, the lights came on in the room. Charlotte walked into inside and gasped.
It was a dungeon was all she could come up with. There was a wall that held whips and floggers and gags and so much more. A shelf had dildos of all sizes and what she knew to be butt plugs, as well. Then there were the weird things, a cross-like thing on its side and a table that looked like her gynecologist’s table. There were hooks and chains hanging from the ceiling.
Charlotte turned around in the room and felt her face grow warm and then sweat break out over her skin. Part of her was curious about all of the weird things she could see, and a part of her was scared out of her head. She should have waited to have seen this, but it was too late now.
She walked over to the wall with the whips and floggers. She knew what they were and how they were used. It scared her to think that he would want to whip her. He said he would never hurt her, but wouldn’t that hurt? She reached out and touched one of them and then snapped her hand back.
She turned around and found that he hadn’t followed her in the room but stood back from the door with a hooded expression on his face.
“Baxter, you said you wouldn’t hurt me.”
“I won’t. There is a fine line between pain and pleasure. I believe you like that line. You love having your nipples pinched and twisted. I would bet you would love nipple clamps.”
“But a whip? That would break the skin and make me bleed.”
“No, baby. If done right, it only leaves little welts that burn or sting, but take you over into another world of pleasure. It’s called subspace.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You’re not ready for any of this. I would never bring you in here until you were ready. You would want to try these things. I wouldn’t force them on you.”
“What happens if I’m never ready?” she finally asked.
“Then we revisit our relationship to see if we’re still getting what we need, or if it just won’t work. It’s the same way as any other relationship.”
She swallowed. “I really need to think about this, Baxter. You’re asking a lot of me.”
“I know. I wouldn’t ask except that I care very much for you and feel like what we have could grow into something deeper.”
“I really need to go back to my house for a few days and think. I’ll leave my things here and just take what I need for tomorrow and the weekend for now.”
“Charlotte, I really don’t want you there alone. Don’t do this. I’ll worry about you. Go to Jack and Nina’s for a few days.”
She realized he sounded desperate. Still, she knew she needed to be away from everyone.
“No, I need to be alone, Baxter. I’ll stay in the house and keep the doors locked. If you want to, you can go over with me to drop off groceries and some of my clothes tomorrow. I’ll be fine without them tonight.”
He closed his eyes and nodded. He really didn’t want her to go. It went a long way in making her realize he really did care about her.
She retreated into the bedroom and packed her bathroom things in her pack and chose a dress and accessories for work the next day. Baxter carried them out to the car for her.
“I’ll call Nina and tell her I’m going to stay there for a few days, so she won’t be all over you about what’s going on.”
“Okay, I’m going with you to be sure the house is safe before you go inside. I’ll leave after that, I promise.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that. Walking in alone would probably freak me out. I don’t like feeling that way.”
She climbed into her SUV and drove home with Baxter on his bike behind her. When she got to her house, she stayed in the Jeep while he searched the house. Then he came out and unloaded her car for her. He walked with her inside and kissed her at the door.
“Lock up. I’m listening to hear the locks click.”
“Good night, Baxter.”
“Good night, Charlie.”
* * * *
Charlotte had a difficult time convincing Nina she was fine and just need some space to think about her relationship with Baxter. And she did a lot of thinking. In fact, she did little else. By Saturday, she was a nervous wreck because she still wasn’t sure what to do. She had one more day to give Baxter her decision, and she was no closer to one than when she’d first come home.
She tried to take her mind off it for a while by watching a movie, but that didn’t hold her interest. Then she tried reading and bombed on that, as well. Sleep was out of the question because she kept seeing herself in those chains with a hooded man applying the whip to her or the flogger. She always woke up not remembering if she’d enjoyed it or not. But sometimes, she was wet with her juices as if she’d been masturbating in her sleep.
She opened a bottle of wine and fixed spaghetti. She ate a small amount and took the wine to the bathroom with her to enjoy while she took a hot bath to relax. Stepping into the warm water immediately felt better. She sank below the water and sipped at her wine, thinking about how good Baxter made her feel. She drank wine and thought over everything from start to finish.
There were things about herself she didn’t know, such as that she had enjoyed being watched that night with Nina and Jack. She realized Baxter was probably right about the nipple clamps because she liked having her nipples pinched and twisted. It really turned her on. Maybe he did know her better than she knew herself.
She swallowed more wine. Maybe she should try it. What could it hurt? Like he said, they could always decide their relationship wouldn’t work, and that would be that. She’d broken up before. It wasn’t the end of the world.
By the time she’d finished the bottle, she had decided to give it a try. She would call Baxter in the morning and tell him she was ready to come back. She would keep her house. She might need it later. He would have to agree to let her do some things around the house or she would be bored. She didn’t have a hobby other than reading.
Charlotte stood up and had to hold on to the wall. She was tipsy. Imagine that. She giggled. Between the hot water and having not eaten much, she was going to sleep well tonight. She managed to get out of the tub without falling and letting the water out without falling back into the tub and drowning herself. Maybe she shouldn’t drink in the tub anymore if she were going to be alone.
After haphazardly drying off, she climbed into the bed nude and almost immediately fell asleep. She dreamed of Baxter and making love in the dungeon room on one of the tables. Evidently her subconscious had worked out how it worked, because she hadn’t known before.
Something jarred her awake, but she wasn’t sure what it was. Had she heard something or had the climax in the dream just been too much for her? She sighed and curled back under the covers and started to drift off to sleep when she heard it again.
Immediately her heart was in her throat, and she felt cold sweat pop out all over her body. Her breathing became erratic, and she had the urge to scream. Instead, she grabbed the phone and quickly climbed out of the bed and hid in the closet with the door closed. She dialed Baxter’s number, praying he would answer soon.
“Charlie? What is it?” His voice sounded calm, but she could tell he was wide awake.
“I’m scared. I heard noises. I think someone’s in the house. I’m in the closet. What do I do?”
“Don’t hang up whatever you do. I’m on my wa
y, baby. Just stay hidden.” She could hear him as he dressed, and then the door opening as he hurried to the garage.
“Are you still there, baby?”
“Yes.”
Then footsteps sounded in the bedroom. She swallowed and fought to keep from whimpering in terror. When the closet door suddenly opened, she screamed and dropped the phone.
“Come here, bitch. Who did you call?”
“Please, let go of me.”
“If you’d just let me have a chance to prove how much I love you, none of this would have happened. Now I can’t even go home because of you. I’ve lost my job, and you’re screwing that bastard. Did you have a fight or something? Did you call the police?”
“The police will be here any minute now. You should go while you can get away.” She figured she needed to keep him talking.
He stared at her naked body and smiled. “I missed sex with you. You were good. I’m going to enjoy fucking you again.”
“Please, don’t hurt me,” she begged.
He dragged her toward the bed. She fought him using all the techniques from the self-defense classes she and Nina had taken, but he was too fast and he slapped her. She managed to knee him in the groin but not hard enough to stop him. He jerked her by the hair and threw her across the bed. Charlotte crawled across to the other side of the bed and curled up in the corner. He rounded the bed and tried to get her again, but she kept kicking and screaming and hitting out at him. He stepped on her side and made it hard for her to breathe. When she was gasping, he wrapped his hands around her throat and squeezed until she nearly passed out, making it possible for him to throw her on the bed again.
This time, she didn’t have the strength to resist him. He stood up and started to unfasten his jeans when she heard a door somewhere in the house slam open. She drifted but didn’t mistake the roar when Baxter grabbed Neal from behind and threw him across the room where he landed hard against the wall. He tried to get up, but Baxter grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him up the wall and hit him over and over. Suddenly, Jack was there, trying to pull Baxter off Neal.
Chapter Twelve
“Let me the fuck go. He hurt her, dammit.”
“Calm down, man, he’s out, and the police are on their way. You’ve got to calm down. See about Charlotte. She needs you, Baxter.”
Baxter was panting, adrenaline still singing through his blood. He wanted to pound the man into nothing. Slowly, it registered what Jack was saying, and he hurried over to the bed to see about his Charlie. She was naked, and there were marks on her. He grabbed the comforter off the bed and wrapped her in it before picking her up and carrying her into the living room away from the son of a bitch who’d hurt her.
“Baby, it’s okay now. I’ve got you.” He rocked her in his arms as she wept.
Minutes later, the police arrived as did an ambulance. The paramedics checked Charlotte out first and suggested she see a doctor for her side to be sure she didn’t have cracked ribs. She refused to go in the ambulance, so Baxter promised to take her himself. He’d use her car and take her.
Neal was awake and screaming obscenities about Baxter and Charlotte. The police let the paramedics look at him, but they pronounced him fit to go by police car. A broken nose was his only major injury.
As soon as Neal was taken away and the police had taken everyone’s statement, Jack let Nina come in, and she took Charlotte into the bathroom to clean up and put on some clothes. Baxter warned them to be careful of her side. He really wanted to do it himself, but he knew she needed another woman right then. He wanted to be her everything, but he knew he couldn’t.
“Thanks, man, for coming. I knew when I got here I was liable to kill the bastard.”
“You would have done the same for me. I’m just glad you had enough sense to call me. How in the hell did you manage it riding the bike?”
“I’m a damn good biker,” he joked in a flat voice.
“She’s going to be fine, Baxter. You got here in time. She’s going to be jumpy, but she’ll recover.”
“I know. I wish she’d stayed with me. I screwed up by letting her stay here alone.”
“No, we both screwed up by not watching for him once she did come here. We should have known he was watching for when she came back.” Jack slapped Baxter on the back.
“Well, they have him now. He’s crazy. How did she ever get mixed up with him in the first place?” Baxter asked.
“Nina said that for a while she was dating everyone who asked her out, trying to find what she was missing in her life. She didn’t see anything wrong with him at the time.”
Nina and Charlotte emerged from the bathroom. Charlotte was wearing sweats and tennis shoes. Charlotte walked over and put her arms around Baxter and all but crawled inside of his body.
“I don’t want to go to the hospital, Baxter. Nothing’s broken. Can I go to my doctor in the morning? Please?” Her voice was hoarse and cracked when she spoke.
He looked over at Nina. “You saw the footprint on her side. What do you think?”
“I think it’s okay. She said he didn’t kick her. He just stood on her, so he could grab her. She was kicking out and hitting at him.”
“Ah, hell, baby. Are you sure? I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“Please. I’m sure. It doesn’t hurt much at all. My throat hurts worse.”
“Okay. We’re going back to my house though. You can get your things tomorrow.” He turned to Jack. “Can she ride back with you and Nina? I don’t want her riding the back of the bike without a helmet and with those ribs like they are.”
“No problem. We’ll take her.”
Baxter fixed the door the best he could and then followed Jack back to their house. As soon as he had his bike in the garage, he ran over and got Charlotte and carried her to his house. He let her keep her warm-ups on and curled up with her in the bed. She finally fell asleep, but Baxter couldn’t sleep. He’d almost lost her tonight, and the realization that she meant more to him than his other needs floored him. He loved her.
If she couldn’t handle his Dominant side, he’d live without it. He just knew he couldn’t live without her. What they’d experimented with so far would work for him if it meant having her in his life. Not having her by his side, in his bed, on his bike wasn’t an option. He loved her. He’d tell her once she’d recovered from the attack. Until then, he’d be whatever she needed to get past the fear.
Chapter Thirteen
“Tell me the truth, Charlotte. How are you feeling? Are you sleeping okay?” Nina asked.
Charlotte sighed. They’d decided to eat at the corner deli for lunch to get away from the house. Both of them were tired of being cooped up with the men hovering nearby. The guys hadn’t wanted to let them out of their sight, but Nina had convinced them that the threat of Neal was gone so they were fine to spend an afternoon shopping in town.
“I’m good. I haven’t had a nightmare for a few nights now. I think the worst of it is behind me. Baxter’s been great about it. I wish he’d quit asking me if I need anything though. It’s beginning to drive me crazy,” she said.
“I can imagine. Jack was that way with me after the biker episode. I finally had to put my foot down and tell him to back off. Maybe you need to do that, too,” Nina said.
“I don’t want to hurt his feelings. He’s being so sweet. I’m afraid if I say anything, he’ll think I’m mad at him.”
“Just tell him that you’re fine and don’t need him to hover over you so much.”
Charlotte sighed. “He’s backed completely away from how he was before the attack.”
“What do you mean?” Nina asked.
“Well, before he was sort of demanding and insisted on his way about most things. Now he’s completely different. He’s even different in bed.”
“What do you mean different in bed? Are you talking about sex?”
“Yeah, he’s so careful with me. Sex is nothing like it was before,” Charlotte said.
&n
bsp; “He’s afraid of scaring you,” Nina said.
“I think so.”
Nina sat back in her chair and sipped her iced tea. “You need to have a frank conversation with him and tell him what you want. Have you decided that you definitely want to live with him?”
“I want to try to see where we can go with our relationship. I had already decided to give us a try before Neal attacked me, but now I’m not sure how to talk to him about it. I mean it’s like we’re tiptoeing around each other right now.” Charlotte fiddled with the condensation on her glass of tea.
“Tell him you want to talk about your relationship and be honest with him about how you feel,” Nina said.
“If I say the word relationship, his eyes are going to roll to the back of his head,” Charlotte said.
Nina chuckled. “If it were any other man, I would tend to agree with you, but not Baxter. Talking about sex and feelings is part of his lifestyle. Everything is out in the open in a D/s relationship. It’s the only way it will work. Talk to him, Charlotte.”
“Do you and Jack play around with that stuff?” Charlotte asked without looking at her friend.
“Not really. He gets bossy sometimes, and there could be some spanking from time to time, but we’re not into it like Baxter is. The weirdest thing with us is that we like to watch and be watched. It’s called voyeurism, and it really heightens the sexual tension.”
“Did you fight it when he first started trying to get you into that?”
“Yeah. I was so embarrassed, but once I relaxed, it really did it for me. It’s not for everyone and not something I want to do all the time, but every once in a while, it’s really hot.”
“I find myself wanting to please him. I don’t think I’m so much a submissive as much as I enjoy making him happy. What if I can’t be what he needs?” she asked.
“You won’t know unless you try. I know he was seriously into the lifestyle when we were in that biker mess before, but that doesn’t mean he needs it all the time. Back then, it was part of his cover. It was why they called him Freak.”
