by Mariah Dietz
Pax breathes out another deep swoosh of air that mixes with the wind and my reluctance to accept this new chapter of my life.
27
“Muffins!” Arlo cries, opening one of the bags.
“Speaking of stalkers, a girl I work with might be a bit obsessed with you. She packed all that food for us when I told her we were going to see you.” I hand Paxton the drinks.
“And, she works with a guy who was quick to help with anything she might need,” Maggie adds.
“He’s harmless.”
“Jake?” Pax asks.
Maggie nods. “Yup.”
“He hooks me up. Gives me those really good cookies with the toffee bits on top.” Pax looks at Arlo for confirmation.
“Yeah. I don’t like him,” Maggie says.
I hand the last two bags of food to Caleb and lock my doors. “Before we start condemning people for offenses they’re not responsible for, can we just take a moment to discuss the likelihood of this situation being a prank?” I lead them across the parking lot, our feet crunching loudly on the pea gravel while the seagulls return, their numbers doubled, realizing we had food all along. “I mean, nothing has happened. No one’s approached me, no one’s called me, nothing except these strange letters, and there’s not even a pattern for them. They just appear once in a while. Not daily, not even weekly.” I glance at Caleb to ensure he’s listening because it’s his psych major that I’m posing this alternate reality to.
“It could be,” Caleb says. “Generally, if a person were stalking someone, they’d make themselves clear. They’d be calling a ton, trying to hack your email, sending gifts…” his words cut off as we approach the cement dock. “Do you know anyone who would pull a prank like this though?”
I eye Arlo.
Arlo quickly shakes his head, pulling his hood up as his nose turns a darker shade of red. “It wasn’t me. Paxton would put my nuts in a vise.”
Pax nods. “Damn straight I would.”
“I don’t know. I’m sure I know someone who would do this. I went to school with a bunch of spoiled rich kids who spent their high school careers thinking up ways to torment each other.”
“You said Poppy found the first letter,” Maggie says. “Do you think she’d play a prank like this?”
“No,” Pax says automatically, shaking his head.
“I don’t think so either, plus, after her breakup with Mike, she’s had a tough time. I don’t see her making jokes about something like this. But, that still leaves ninety-nine percent of the kids I went to school with, and a bunch more who I now have classes with. People I work with…”
“Did you piss anyone off recently?” Pax asks. “That weirdo who kept calling after you stopped going out with the Whale Watchers.”
I inwardly cringe, hating the way Pax refers to the group who stood up for the ocean and all of its inhabitants when no one else would, risking their safety and time. “They’re trying to stop illegal poachers, not creep around.”
We stop at the stark white Sedan Trawler the aquarium uses for outings. “You have to wear a life jacket to be on board, and I don’t even want to hear any excuses. Joe was an Olympic swimmer, and he still has to wear one.” I grip the side rail and extend a hand for Maggie to take. “Be careful. The deck might be slick this morning since it’s so cold.”
A smile runs from ear to ear as Maggie steps forward, climbing aboard the small passenger boat that is made for speed and to hold a large quantity of tools and supplies. The others follow, but Pax sags back with me, following me to where I work on releasing the rear knot, bending so his face is so close his breath tickles my cheek.
“If you’re not telling me something, I’m going to—”
“What? Punch someone in the face and lose your spot on the team? Get arrested?”
His jaw clenches, an indention forming on the hard plane of his cheek. “This isn’t funny, Rae.”
“I know. If you missed it, I’m not laughing, either. But, I don’t think this person is an actual threat. If I did, I’d tell you. I think someone is trying to make a bad joke.”
He expels a deep breath. “You’re sure about that?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You went out with Derek after I asked you to stay away from the team.”
I glance at the boat where Lincoln is watching us. The memory of his heat, the promise of his words to consume me, the way my body still feels deprived with his absence all at the forefront of my mind. If my dating Derek makes my brother feel betrayed, he’d hate me for Lincoln. “Does it bother you because you don’t like Derek, or because he’s your teammate?” I grasp at straws.
“Both,” his response is immediate, proving he’s either spent a lot of time thinking about this or none at all. I’m hoping it’s the latter. “Grandpa always teased about my friends wanting to date you one day, but now that it’s becoming a reality, it’s … really weird.”
I laugh in spite of myself. “Welcome to my world. I can’t remember having a friend who wasn’t interested in you at one point or another. Even now. Did you see how many muffins and cookies and doughnuts were packed into those bags? I’m not sure she left any food for paying customers.”
Pax flashes a knowing grin. He’s been aware of this for years and has always enjoyed pushing the boundaries of flirting, making a handful of friends believe he was reciprocating interest. “You’re a masochist,” I tell him.
The air is punctured by his laughter. “I can’t help it if they all want me.”
Shaking my head, I point at the boat. “Get on board, or I’m leaving you here to the birds.”
I hate untying boats. It’s a task I had to learn to be certified and licensed, but one I’ve strayed from since. I pray I don’t look like an injured gazelle as I take a quick leap into the boat.
“What are you guys talking about?” Maggie asks, her head turning between Pax’s strained smile and my determined grin.
“Pax was reveling in the knowledge of my friends having crushes on him.”
Maggie grins.
“And grieving over the fact guys I know are starting to notice Rae,” Pax says, a mournful frown becomes deeper as he looks at Maggie. “I thought I was past all that after you moved out.”
Maggie laughs. “The difference is they have a chance with Rae.”
“You remember that time Saltzman climbed into your bed?” Caleb asks, choking on laughter.
Maggie rolls her eyes. “How could I forget?”
“Saltzman?” I say, trying to draw a face to the name.
“Bobby,” Pax says. “You probably don’t remember him. He hung out with us a ton freshman year of high school, but it turned out he just wanted to see Mags.”
“I woke up to him trying to spoon me,” Maggie says. “At like three in the morning. And I’m like ninety percent sure he’d stuffed a sock in his pants because there was a lot going on down there, but everything seemed a bit off.”
“I don’t want to hear about him getting a hard on for you.” Pax shakes his head. “Even if it was a cotton one.”
“Kaden used to be obsessed with Rae, he just never had the balls to tell you,” Caleb says. “Hell, do you remember junior year? Joey stopped talking to you for like a month when you told him he couldn’t ask her out.”
My eyes swing to Pax, accusation burning through the exterior he tries to assemble with a quick smile. “Joey was a dick,” he says, switching gears.
I take a drink of my mocha, considering what high school might have been like if my brother wasn’t the prom king and football captain. If my mom hadn’t been the principal. If I were brave enough to cross outside of the barriers of comfort and security I constructed like they were mandatory and necessary. Alternate realities, ones that have appeared in my thoughts over the years from teen movies and shows that always made it look like high school students had endless time, friends, and sex trickles through my mind hitting pegs in my mind like a pinball machine, recalling the endless ho
urs I spent studying and doing homework, volunteering to set myself apart for colleges, volunteering at the aquarium. Even if I didn’t have the same parents, would I have changed? Would I have been more interested in smoking pot and sneaking shots? Would I have left my innocence at the hands of a guy whose cost was a simple smile?
Doubtful.
I’ve wanted the white knight since I was little, and though I’ve always wished to slay my own dragons, I wanted the knowledge he’d be there at my side.
Lincoln’s stare draws me out of my thoughts, his gaze heavy and intrusive like he knows exactly what I’m thinking. His brown eyes pierce mine the moment I look at him, recognition making his jaw grow tight, though I have no idea what he sees because my thoughts are consumed with wondering what he sees—what he thinks he sees.
“Ready to get this show on the road?” Maggie asks. “What do we need to do?”
I maintain Lincoln’s stare for another second, trying my hardest not to look affected though I feel stripped. I pull in a breath of sea air, shifting my attention to the cloudless sky and then to Maggie. “Life jackets,” I say, pointing to the large cabinet they’re kept in.
Maggie nods, leading the way, joking with Paxton about another high school memory that was before my time.
Arlo hangs back with me. Lincoln doesn’t give a parting glance, disappearing with the others.
“You worried?” Arlo asks.
I shake my head, my thoughts too preoccupied to form a response.
“I know you don’t want Pax to get crazier, but maybe we should make sure you’re with us if you want to go out or whatever.”
“I really think it’s a prank,” I tell him. “It just doesn’t make sense to be anything else.”
Maggie appears, clipping her lifejacket into place over her bulky coat. “I can’t breathe,” she says.
I laugh, moving forward to help loosen the straps, forgetting about brooding stares and cryptic letters, focusing on the sea and my sister as I lead her into the cabin and straight for the helm. “You can drive the boat once we get out.”
Maggie’s eyes shine. “I don’t even get to drive a car anymore.”
I grin. “You can drive my car home if you want.”
She shrugs. “I don’t miss it that much. Just the convenience, you know? And knowing I could leave if I wanted to.”
I nod, considering the life she’s tried painting for me on numerous occasions, one that includes sleeping on a small cot with two roommates and eating the same foods several days in a row. “Do you miss being home?”
She nods. “I miss you guys, but I like what I’m doing. It sounds insane, but I like not having tech everywhere. My days feel longer and fuller, like I’m accomplishing something.”
“You are. You’re helping so many.”
She grins. “Only about twenty-six people, actually.”
I shake my head. “What you’re doing is going to leave an echo. It will reach their families and their children one day, and so on and so forth.”
The spark of hope shines in her twisted lips, like she wants to believe my words but has seen too many realities that contradict the chance.
“Want to tell them to either hang on or get inside the cabin?” I ask, starting the engine.
A new smile replaces her conflicted grin, and she ducks her head out, yelling to Pax.
Arlo is my greatest surprise. Standing at the bow, his attention is glued to the water, a wide smile gracing his entire face. Caleb remains in the cabin, drinking his coffee and swearing off Northwest winters, though the sun is surprisingly warm when I catch its direct path.
“What are you doing?” Maggie asks, watching as I reach for the gear to lower into the water that will record any calls.
“Making sure you get to see an animal today.”
Her blue eyes grow wide. “What? What are you doing?”
“We have a family of dolphins here, and we’ve been working with a team who’s been studying their communication. It sounds crazy, but dolphins talk like humans. They have whistles and clicks and squeaks and they use a unique one for each member of their pod. They use at least sixty-thousand different calls, and researchers have been able to translate a few, like shark and something that roughly translates to a warning.”
“You’re telling me dolphins talk?” Arlo asks.
I nod. “They’re crazy smart. The Navy and NASA both use them and invest a ton of money into studying more.”
“Use them?” Maggie asks.
I nod. “It’s fairly controversial for marine biologists because they’ve trained dolphins to guard certain areas and to locate threats.”
“I had no idea they could do that,” Maggie says.
“Yeah. They’re pretty amazing, and I’ve kind of made friends with one. He must be napping because he usually shows up by now.” I glance back out, waiting to see his dorsal fin break through the surface.
Maggie steps up beside me, shielding her eyes with a hand as the water reflects bright in our eyes. “Will he be alone?”
“No. There’s eight of them—a small pod. But, they stick together. Blue will come closer than the rest, though.”
Seconds later, the surface breaks, a dolphin gliding through the air before splashing back into the water.
“What!” Arlo cries out, his eyes stretched as he looks at us to see if we saw the same phenomenon. Maggie laughs, her hand gripping her chest.
“That was insane!” she says, laughing again. “Pax!” She turns around, but he’s already there, Lincoln and Caleb close behind.
“Did you see that?” She asks, spinning to face the water again, as Blue swims the length of the boat. “Are you seeing this?”
“I see it. I see it,” he says.
“There’s a dolphin swimming like five feet away from us!” Maggie continues.
“I know. I’m standing right beside you,” Pax says.
“This is insane,” she continues, her eyes locked on Blue as he tosses a chunk of seaweed into the air and then chases it.
“Is he eating the seaweed?” Caleb asks.
I shake my head. “No, they’re carnivores. He’s just playing. Showing off a little.”
“What if you jumped in? What would he do?” Pax asks.
It’s a question we’ve discussed at great lengths, but have yet to test, fearing the relationship we’ve built with Blue is already verging on dangerous because it’s created a trust with humans, one we have no way of ensuring. “I don’t know. Likely, he’d try to play with us. Dolphins are very friendly and social and have been known to swim with people and other animals, but we try not to encourage him to even come near us. Technically, we’re not funded to research the pod. We’re supposed to be tracking and counting the animals, not focusing on any of them specifically. Plus, if they assume all people are friendly, it puts them in danger. It’s complicated.”
“Everything gets more complicated as you get closer to it,” Lincoln says, taking a final look at Blue before walking to the far side, watching as the other members of the pod surface, keeping a safe distance from us, just like he does from me so much of the time.
“I just want to go swimming in there,” Arlo says.
“It’s fifty degrees. You wouldn’t enjoy it very long.”
“You get used to it. You just have to dive in,” he says coyly.
I shake my head. “Only if you can do it in fifteen seconds.”
“Fifteen seconds?”
“Water this cold lowers the time you can hold your breath.”
“Fifteen seconds?” Pax asks.
“Twenty-five tops, but he’s from a warmer climate. He might not make fifteen.”
“If you hadn’t shown me pictures of Great Whites, I’d be proving you wrong right now.” Arlo tips his head at the darkened waters.
I chuckle. “There are no sharks out here. Blue wouldn’t come around if there was. And Great Whites aren’t going to come into the Sound. That’s an anomaly that happens once in a blue moon.”
Arlo glances at the sky. “Looks pretty fucking blue right now.”
28
“You totally downplay how awesome this is,” Maggie says as I tie the final rope, docking us back at the marina. “I had no idea you could do half of everything you showed us today. That you have a freaking dolphin BFF.”
I scoff. “Hardly.”
“How do you get the chance to study them closer?” she asks.
“Get accepted to be a volunteer or intern for one of the organizations that study them.”
Maggie scrunches her nose, like she knows the answer before asking, “Is it really hard to get accepted?”
I pull in a deep breath, sanding my hands together to regain feeling in them. “Super hard. I’ve been applying for two years to the groups here in Washington, and I haven’t even heard back from them. And unfortunately, my volunteering at the aquarium actually hurts my chances, because they don’t see aquariums or zoos as anything positive.”
“But you guys release animals back into the wild,” Maggie says.
“We do, but we also have some that will never be released because we study them.”
“More complications?” she asks.
I nod. “More complications.”
“You’ve just got to impress them,” Pax says. “Wine and dine them. Send whoever leads it some tickets to the next Brighton home game. Dad can get you boxed seats.”
“Yeah, I’ll get right on that. I’ll send Doctor Alexander Swanson a gift basket and wait for his acceptance letter.”
Pax grins. “Problem solved.”
“Doctor Alexander Swanson?” Lincoln turns, his eyebrows dropped as he looks at me for confirmation, his gaze pressing like a bruise onto my skin, leaving another mark that will take days to heal and far longer to forget.
I nod, too invested in his expression and the way his mask has slipped as the day has worn on to gain sense and look away.
“Why? You know him?” Pax asks.
“Not directly. But my dad’s his lawyer. They golf together. I think he’s attending his wedding next week.”
