by Lacey Thorn
Abby figured he was probably headed toward the lab and Diane.
“Embrace your inner kitty,” Logan repeated with a snicker. “I always knew you were a pussy.”
Logan only laughed harder as Tah growled in annoyance.
“You do need to work on it,” Jess said as she glanced at them. “Dad brought some papers with him. He has his own contacts in Africa and he’s found more about the legend of the paka watu. You need to read this.”
“What is it?” Abby turned from Tah and walked over to help Jess pick the fallen papers off the floor. Before she could sit, Tah was there pulling her down beside him, keeping her firmly at his side.
“What has he found?”
“What do you know about the legend of the paka watu, Tah?” Jess asked.
“Just what Abby has told me,” Tah answered. “And the little I could find about them on the phone I purchased when we stopped. It seems to be a fairly obscure legend. Lots of discrepancies in it.”
Jess nodded. “I think as with most things that are founded in truth, those involved try to diminish them by planting false stories, by embellishing or changing them in some way.”
“Truth hidden amongst lies,” Abby said.
“Exactly.” Jess nodded. “The bushmen we spoke with in Africa had more insight into the story, but we never thought to ask what if.”
“What if?” Tah asked.
“What if she found you? What if the great Tau of the cat people awoke?”
“What does it say?” Abby pulled papers toward her and started skimming over them. “Oh, my God.”
“What?” Tah demanded.
Abby glanced up at him. “It says that when the Great Creator smiles down on the chosen descendent of the alpha lion, he will send someone to wake the beast and bring his people forth once more.”
“So you were sent to me.” Tah smiled down at her as his fingers toyed with her hair. “I like the sound of that.”
“There’s more here, Tah. It says that once you accept who you are, all of who you are and the beast is allowed to fully awaken, others will follow.”
“What does that mean?” Logan wanted to know.
“It means his pack will awaken and one by one find their way to him,” Cody answered as he and Reno stepped into the room.
“I don’t have a pack,” Tah stated.
Derrick laughed. “Even as a man, it seems you have a pack following you,” he said as he pointed to Reno and Logan.
Abby couldn’t help but agree with him. She had her own feelings about that.
Logan lifted a hand and started rubbing against his teeth.
“What the hell are you doing?” Tah asked with irritation.
“Just checking to see if I’m getting those freaky teeth like you,” Logan quipped. “Being part of your pack and all.”
Tah turned to glance at Reno who just shrugged his shoulders.
“You’re the one who took Logan in. I always told you he was an idiot.”
Tah laughed. “I left. I believe you’re the one who brought him back.”
Reno did that shoulder roll again. “He reminded me of a dog. They always need a keeper.”
Growls filled the room as Cody laughed.
“You are most interesting, my friend.” Cody nodded his head as he met Reno’s eyes. “We’ll talk before I move on. First, I must see what I can do to help your friend.” He turned to Tah. “Perhaps now that you’re awake we can walk and talk. See if I can help you to embrace the other part of yourself.”
Tah sighed. “You guys really think I’ve got a lion in here?”
“Even you believe it,” Cody countered. He moved his gaze around the room. “Adrian. Michael. Come with me. I want him to see how it is to be one with the spirit inside him.” He glanced back to Reno. “Come with us, my new friend. Perhaps you will learn something as well.”
Reno grunted but stepped away from the doorway. “Let’s get on with it then.”
Tah turned to look at Abby.
“I’ll be fine,” she promised, leaning close to kiss him on the lips. “I’ll sit here with Jess and go through all this. Plus, I really need to write down everything I can about what I’ve noticed change in you and me.”
“Everything?” he asked, making her blush.
“I think it might be important,” she offered with a nod. “Especially if there might be others coming this way. We need to find as many answers as we can, so maybe the next member of your pride won’t be as clueless as we’ve been.”
“I’m still dealing with the fact I have a lion in here,” he said, patting his chest. “I’m not sure how I feel about having a whole fucking pride depending on me.”
She smiled. “I have faith in you.”
He kissed her again, sliding his tongue between her lips and making her toes curl before he pulled back and stood. “I’m glad, since you’ll be with me every step of the way. It’ll be your pride as much as it’s mine.” He turned to Logan. “Come on, Logan. You might as well go with us too.”
“Well, don’t I just feel the love,” Logan pouted.
They were all laughing as they left the room and headed outside. Abby felt her stomach flip with nerves as she watched Tah disappear.
“He’ll be okay,” Jess assured her.
“If anyone can help him, it’s Cody,” Derrick told her as he came over to sit beside Jess.
“I hope so,” Abby said. “I just have this really bad feeling.” She shook her head as if she could dispel whatever was making her uneasy.
She glanced at Jess. “I want to read all of this.” She motioned toward the papers now scattered between them. “And any other research you or the Professor have come across that might help us.”
Jess nodded. “I’ll go grab some of the journals Dad’s collected. I think you’ll find them pretty interesting. He’s picked them up from all over the world. He’s known for his love of old journals and diaries. He’s the first person many old book stores and auction houses call when they come across them.”
“How many does he have?” Abby asked.
“Rooms full,” Jess said with a sigh.
Chapter Fifteen
From the journal of Uriah Blane
I know I have lost my mind. There are days I can barely function. My father is filled with hate, and I swear I can feel the same emotion growing inside me, for a man I’ve never met and probably never will. Dad says the day will come when this man’s family will rise again, and we must be there to make sure they don’t succeed. I think he is speaking of murder, and that scares me more than the demonic light in his eyes.
My mother is afraid. I can see it every time she looks at me. But is she scared of me or for me? I’m not sure, but then I’m not sure of anything anymore.
* * * *
“You’re not trying, Tah,” Adrian scoffed, as he shifted from man to beast again with an ease that made Tah pause and watch.
The man turned into the most beautiful black wolf Tah had ever seen. He’d seen Derrick shift into a grey wolf, Cody turn into a white one, while Michael’s was a light color of brown. It still baffled him. How had this become his life? Finding the things he once would have mocked as ludicrous were real and avidly watching and trying to mimic them. Shifters existed, and he was one of them. Or would be if he could ever figure out how.
“You’re still fighting your lion,” Cody told him patiently. No matter that they had been at this for two days now, Cody never lost his patience. Reno never lost his patience. The same couldn’t be said of the rest of them. Except for maybe Logan, who seemed to find the whole thing as exciting as the Professor did.
“I’m not fighting him,” Tah argued, beyond frustrated. “It’s that damn smell. It’s throwing me off.”
“Yeah, it’s singeing my nostril’s too,” Michael agreed. “Can’t smell anything else.”
“Walk with me.” Cody didn’t wait to see if Tah followed or not. He just started, expecting Tah to follow. “Why don’t the rest of you go for a r
un? See if you can find where the smell’s coming from. Even you, Logan. I think you’re getting fat.”
Reno and Tah both laughed as Logan jerked his shirt up, checking out his rock hard abs in search of a lump of fat.
“Come on, pup,” Reno said, using the name that seemed to stick to Logan since Reno had said he reminded him of a dog. Luckily, Logan didn’t seem to mind.
Tah watched the three wolves take off as Logan and Reno set out at a jog after them. They were all out today, and Tah could sense the restlessness in the wolves. There was something in the air, and it was putting them all on edge.
“Did you remember to give more samples this morning?” Cody asked, making Tah’s chest rumble.
He jerked his head in a nod of affirmation. He hated the damn samples the Professor demanded every morning. But he gave into them because he knew how much it meant to Abby. He’d do anything for his mate. He should really see about asking her to marry him sometime soon. He’d already claimed her, but he felt it was important they do things right, before the baby was born.
“So, all of you are with Jess?” he asked the question before he could think better of it.
Cody grinned. “She is the pack mate. We all love her.”
“Your pack shares a mate?”
Cody laughed. “Don’t worry. I believe it is unique to our alpha pack. I’ve never even heard of other wolves who share as we do.”
“I don’t share,” Tah asserted. “I’d kill anyone who tried to touch Abby that way.”
Cody nodded. “It takes a certain mindset to lead the lifestyle we choose.”
“Then why do you?”
Cody looked thoughtful. “Survival.”
“But you just said most wolves don’t do it.”
“But we are the alphas. Each of us represents a specific wolf pack or breed.”
“Shouldn’t you each take your own mate? Seems like survival needs breeding to ensure a future.”
“And we each will create a new line, with Jess. By uniting our packs, we strengthen our entire species. By the four of us sharing Jess, we assure she is always protected, always loved. It is an unselfish act.”
Tah swallowed. “I’m a selfish bastard then.”
Cody laughed. “As I said, it takes a unique mindset. But even you share Abby.”
“No.”
Cody nodded. “You do, with the lion spirit inside you. She comes first with both of you; it’s often the only thing the two of you are in agreement on. The incident with Reno confirmed it and allowed for a biological shift in you that accommodates the physical changes taking place. But in your mind, you still struggle, and so does your spirit. The struggle weakens you both and keeps you from shifting.”
“I’m trying.”
“I know you are, but until you embrace the lion as a part of you, a fully integrated part of you, then you will be weak. And weak is not something you can afford with a woman and soon, a child, depending on you. You must be strong in all things. To deny any part of you is to deny all of you.”
“I’m not denying the lion. Not anymore.”
“And yet still, you will not give him free reign inside you. Fear holds you back. You are afraid if the lion breaks free of your control, then he will take over and you will find the Tah part of yourself lost and held back by the lion’s control.”
Tah nodded as Cody’s words perfectly echoed his fears.
“What you need to understand is that the lion is you and you are the lion. There is no need to control either part of you. Both can exist in harmony. It is that knowledge that will set you free. The true core of your strength only comes when you unite both parts of yourself and hold nothing back.”
Tah shook his head, rolling his neck back and forth as he blew out a deep breath. “I don’t know what else I can do.”
“You’ll figure it out,” Cody said. “I just hope it’s soon enough.”
“What does that mean? Do you think I might spike a temp again? Or is there something else you think might happen?”
“I’ve seen many things in my life, Tah. I’ve seen men merge with beast and learn to run. And I’ve seen them fight until they take their last breath. I sense the animal in you. He is strong, very much the king he is proclaimed to be. But I see the man, and I don’t doubt you are just as strong, just as regal. I see the struggle inside you. Will it kill you? Maybe. I don’t know. Your body has been through a lot in such a short period of time. Answer me this. Does Abby love you?”
“Yes.”
“The man or the animal?”
“Both.”
“And you love her?”
“More than my life.”
“And you find no fault in her? No lack of sanity?”
Tah laughed. “Abby’s the smartest woman I’ve ever known.”
Cody nodded. “Then why do you not trust her?”
“I do trust her.”
Cody shook his head. “She loves you, all of you. This means she trusts you and the lion. Yet, you still doubt, still fight. Why? If she accepts you as you are, then why can’t you?”
“Did you ever doubt your wolf?”
“Never,” Cody answered. “But then, I was born knowing what I was capable of, knowing who I was.”
“A short time ago, I was content with my life. Maybe not happy, but content with being just a man.”
Cody smiled. “You lie to yourself. You have always been restless, always felt like there was something missing from your life. Known you were something more. Because there was.”
Tah shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe.”
“Tell me. Would you have preferred to come into this world knowing you were a mixture of man and beast? That inside you beat the heart of a lion? Would it make it all easier for you?”
“Yes,” Tah stated emphatically.
“Then think of your child and what you can give him or her. You can bring your children into a world like you would have liked. A father strong in his belief of who and what he is. One who will teach and guide as well as love. A mother who isn’t divided between fear for her mate and fear for her child. A strong pride that knows what battles lie ahead and how to face them. That is your choice to make for your child. But it begins with you.”
Tah took a deep breath and nodded. “Let’s try this again.”
More than anything in this world he wanted to give that to his child. Security. Understanding. Acceptance. Love. All the things his parents had given to him when he was young. The things his grandmother had shown him. They were key to building a strong foundation, to making an environment that would help any child to nurture and grow.
“Close your eyes. Feel your lion and center yourself with him. Let him guide you. Let him show you.”
Tah did as Cody urged and prayed this time would be different.
* * * *
Abby poured over the last journal in the pile in front of her. The house was quiet with all the men outside prowling the woods and trying to help Tah learn how to shift. He was getting restless again. She could feel it, and it worried her.
The reading worried her more. She’d already spoken to the Professor about doing another genealogy, this time of the brother of the original Tau. But she had no definitive starting point for him. A better choice would be to start with the names on some of the journals the Professor had gotten his hands on. Those from hunters and watchers.
She wanted to start with Uriah Blane, the man who’d lived in the 1920s. There were several of his journals. One from childhood and several from when he was an adult. There were gaps where she wasn’t sure what had happened, but she could imagine. The written passages from the man he’d become would give her nightmares. He’d grown to love the hunt, but not as much as he did the kill. So blood thirsty and vengeful. For what? So much hate spilled onto the pages that she felt chilled by it. People he had caught, tortured, and murdered simply because he thought they might be more than human. It made her sick.
Some of the journals had given her hope though. Jour
nals from those who claimed themselves to be the watchers. It was all so crazy, so fantastic. She hadn’t gotten up the nerve to ask the Professor yet, but she knew he was waiting for it, could see it every time he looked at her. She was a descendent of one of the watchers. She was almost certain of it. It explained her inability to walk away from the story, and why it had consumed her thoughts most of her life.
There were still so many questions that might never completely be answered. They could guess or theorize, but some answers had been lost over time and might never be found. Still, they knew so much more than they ever had.
The Professor and Diane were down in the lab, going over test results and deciding what else they needed to run. Diane was concerned with Abby’s pregnancy. A lion’s gestation period was just under four months, and they had no idea how, or even if, that would play a part in Abby’s pregnancy. They were watching her closely, and though Abby knew it was necessary, she felt like a guinea pig. Still, Diane said they were already able to track the changing hormone levels in her body.
Jess was napping, and Abby couldn’t blame her friend. Tah exhausted Abby, and Jess had four mates to deal with. Good Lord. It boggled Abby’s mind. But Jess seemed happier than Abby had ever seen her. It was obvious she loved her mates, and just as obvious they loved her. The four men were devoted to Jess. Abby and Jess still hadn’t had a chance to discuss how Jess had finally found her wolves and how she had ended up mated to four of them. But there would be time later.
Abby stood up from the bed, where she’d been reading and stretched. She could really use a cold drink. She’d been reading longer than she’d planned, and Tah would get upset if he thought she wasn’t taking care of herself. She smiled. He loved her. It still awed and amazed her that a man like Tah could fall in love with her. She was by far the luckiest woman in the world.
She pushed the door open and headed down the hall toward the front of the house on her way to the kitchen. Her mind was still on Tah and how lucky she was.
“Well, well.” Harlan’s voice was a douse of cold water. “I knew if I waited long enough, they’d all leave you alone. Just when I was wondering what room to search next, you come right down the hall to me.”
