by Missy LaRae
“No, uh, that’s fine I would love the help.” She moved out of the way and Tyler bent down and grabbed three of her suit
cases.Thankfully she didn’t make a scene as he picked all three of them up.
I reached over and pulled one out of his hands, and he nodded at me in thanks. With the woman leading the way we walked up towards the train station and headed inside. I felt a chill creep down the back of my neck, and it was all I could do not to turn around. I felt like the icy fingers of dread had peeled back my sweatshirt and lain themselves on me in a caress that I didn’t want. The hair on my arms stood up, and I walked closer to Tyler’s back as we went inside. Whatever was out there wasn’t gonna stop us from leavin’.
The inside of the train station was interesting, but I only had eyes for the ticket counter, and that’s just where we were heading. The woman purchased her tickets and we moved up to next in line.The sour feelin’ of nervousness was back full force in my tummy as we walked up to the window.
“Excuse me, sir. I’d like to get two tickets to Charleston, South Carolina please.” Tyler looked directly at the man, and just as the woman had in the parkin’ lot the man didn’t say anything. He sat there and looked right at Tyler before noddin’ his head and printing the tickets out.
“The tickets are eighty-seven dollars a piece. That gonna be...” the man didn’t have a chance to finish before I jumped in.
“One-hundred and seventy-four.” The sum had been ready on my tongue the moment that the man had said the ticket price. He stopped talkin’ and looked at me. I shook as I remembered what happened at Mama’s house when I interrupted. I hadn’t meant to be so rude, and I didn’t know if he’d sell us the tickets now, or not.
“That’s right. Nice to see someone with a good head for figures.” His jovial smile made his tired face seem much more inviting. I blushed as he looked at me, and looked down at the floor.
“Thank you, sir,” I offered. I wasn’t used to speakin’ to men other than Tyler. Tyler took the tickets that were handed to him and we walked over to the correct seating area to wait.
“What was that? When you looked at that woman, and when you looked at the man sellin’ the tickets they looked really weird,” I asked him. He looked worried, and glanced down at me.
“I don’t know. I just got this feeling. I can’t explain it. I’ve never felt that way before. I just felt, I dunno, bigger.” He shrugged as he said it dismissing my concern. I hated it when he did that, which seemed to be a lot now days.
“Bigger? What’s that mean? You felt taller?” I wanted desperately to understand what he meant. Twins could sense things, and I knew that Tyler wasn’t bein’ all the way honest with me. I had felt him tremblin’ in front of me.
“I don’t know. I just felt like I could tell him anything I wanted and he would do it. If I wanted him to give me money, he would do it. If I wanted him to give us the tickets, he would. I just felt bigger. I don’t really wanna talk about this right now, Lily.” He put his arm around my shoulders and I leaned in towards him. His heat seeped into me and I sighed. I was twisted up inside. I felt like I’d been wound tight as a piano string all night, and I just wanted to be away from here and free from Mama. I knew we wouldn’t be free until we got on that train and figured out where this Evelyne lived. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a policeman walk through the wide doors of the station, and I tensed again. I put my face close to Tyler’s.
“There’s a policeman just walked in the front doors. What if Mama called the cops and he’s here lookin’ for us?” I was afraid. I knew that if Mama got us back she was like to kill both of us this time. The last time we’d tried to run away Mama had tied me to the bed and left me there for three days without lettin’ me use the bathroom or anything. She didn’t hit me, but she showed me that I was nothin’, and made me feel like I was worthless. I screamed for a few hours the first day for her to untie me, but realized after I lost my voice that she was gonna let me go in her own sweet time, not mine.
“Just keep your face turned into mine Lilybelle,” Tyler leaned towards me and pulled the cap lower on his face and kept his head down chin to his chest. My heart hurt from beatin’ so hard. I couldn’t breathe. I knew that this was it. I knew Mama had found us again, and I couldn’t help myself from cryin’. All I wanted was to get away from her. I didn’t care where we had to go, or what we had to do, we couldn’t go back to Mama and all her evil. I wiped the tears away as best I could as I curled tighter into my brother. I didn’t hear anyone approaching, but you couldn’t really hear much with as loud as it was in the station.
“Approaching, Northbound 371 to Jacksonville, continuing service to Savannah, Georgia, and Charleston, South Carolina. Anyone who has a ticket please have it out and approach platform C for boarding,” the announcement came.
I felt relief, but had to know if the policeman had come our way. I’d never had a panic attack before, but I felt like I was closer than ever to havin’ one. I swiveled my head around to check if he was closer as we started to get out of our seats, and my throat closed as I saw that he was only ten feet away, and staring right at us. I looked up at Tyler, and saw that he was looking at him too. In fact, Tyler was staring right at him. Neither of us moved. I held my breath as Tyler sent the policeman some sort of silent communication. I felt like it lasted forever, but it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds.
“Let’s go,” Tyler said as he pulled me towards the exit doors to where the trains were. I was more confused than ever. What had just happened? We walked onto the platform and waited in the rising morning heat for the train to arrive. I could feel my shirt sticking to my back, and desperately wanted to take off my
sweatshirt, but didn’t dare take anything off until we were seated and away.
The train arrived and I grabbed Tyler’s hand as we moved forward. We needed to get on the train fast. We passed by the Conductor and boarded the train taking seats as close to the exit as we could find. I sat close to the window, and watched as the rest of the people boarded the train. I sat, stunned for a moment, before taking off my backpack and putting it between my feet. I tore off my sweater, and wiped my face with the sleeve, and looked at my brother.
His eyes were closed, and he seemed to be breathing slower than he was when we first boarded the train. “Tyler, we need to talk about what just happened. We need to read the letters too,” I wanted to know what they said.
His face changed. He looked down at me and I finally saw the weariness of the night falling over him like a blanket. “We will. I just want to rest a bit right now. Just let me close my eyes, Lilybelle.” He grabbed my hand with his, and closed his eyes. We were connected, as always. The train slowly pulled out of the station, and I closed my eyes.
The sun was dominating the sky, and the day seemed bright and new with possibilities, but with my relief came confusion. I didn’t know how we’d managed to get on the train this easily, and what was going on with my brother. He’d done something to those people, and I wanted desperately to find out what it was.
“Lilybelle, come on wake up.” I couldn’t
understand what was happenin’. Why was Tyler in my room? Then it hit me. I wasn’t in my room. I was on a train headin’ towards freedom. A smile lit my face as I opened my eyes. I looked at Tyler, and reached up to wipe off the drool coming out a my mouth if there was any.
“How long did we sleep?” I asked him. “Think about 3 hours. We’re gettin’ close to Jacksonville now. I thought we could read a few of the letters.” Tyler looked refreshed, and I was glad that the nap had been good for him. It had been good for me, too.
“I need to go to the bathroom first before we start reading.” I hadn’t eaten or drank anything since the night before at dinner, but my bladder was screaming at me to take a break. I got up and walked the short distance to the bathroom, and waited until who ever was in there came out. It wasn’t long before the bathroom was vacated, and I went in to do what it is that girls do in the b
athroom.
When I was finished I stared at myself in the mirror, and splashed water onto my face to try and get the sleep out of my eyes. I didn’t bring my backpack in so I couldn’t brush my teeth, but at least my hair wasn’t so bad. I washed my hands and left the bathroom and walked back to my seat.
“I read this one, do you want to read it yourself or do you want to read it again, together?” He held the slip of paper out to me and I took it. I didn’t know what it said, but it couldn’t be too bad if Tyler was willing to read it out loud with me. I sat in my seat and read the letter.
Allison,
Thank you so much for the letters concerning the children. It makes Michael and I are so proud knowing that they are growing up to be such wonderful children. If you need any help with them please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us. We’re all so sad about Daniel. Hopefully, with time, you’ll be able to get over this loss as well. Mother and Father would be so proud of Daniel for picking such a wonderful wife. I would love to come and see the children, but I just can’t get away from home with the responsibilities that I have now. Give them love from their favorite Aunt.
All my love, Evelyne
I reread the letter, and sighed. It wasn’t Grandparents. It was our father’s sister. I was hopeful that she would be as nice in person as she sounded in these letters. “What do the rest of them say?”
“They’re pretty much all the same way, just tidbits about her life, and what she’s doing. I only read a couple but she promises to come and visit. She’s just so busy. Blah, blah, blah. She sounds nice, but I’m not sure she’s going to really help us. She never came to visit even though her letters said that she would.” I felt the same way. I couldn’t count on someone who promised to come and visit, but then never followed through. I was done bein’ hurt. I wasn’t gonna let anyone else treat me the way my mother had.
I watched in silence as the scenery passed me by, but I didn’t really see it. I thought about how our lives was gonna change, and how Tyler and I would have to adapt to a new person. I knew we couldn’t stay on our own. I wished that we could. How I wished that we could. I’d like to have a little place of my own where we’d be safe. I’d be able to read what I wanted to read, and eat when I wanted to eat. I’d be able to get up at night and go to the bathroom without fearin’ I’d wake Mama up, and she’d take the belt to me. I didn’t know that life could change this much in one morning, or I’d a tried to get Tyler to leave months before. I knew we were young, but with the weird way Tyler talked to people maybe we would have been able to get away earlier.
“Tyler, tell me what happened with that policeman. I need to know what happened. I don’t understand what you did.” I kept going over it again and again in my head, and I just couldn’t understand it.
“Well, like I said, when I was talkin’ to the lady with her kids, and with the man sellin’ the tickets I just felt bigger. It was like my body expanded like a balloon. I felt swollen. I got hotter, like temperature hotter. Not like with the policeman. With him I was so scared, and I knew if he took us back to Mama somethin’ bad was gonna happen. I looked at him and I thought so hard for him to turn around. It was different. It felt like it came out of my body and went right at him. It felt like I was aimin’ at him with all this heat just tellin’ him to turn around, and he did.” He closed his mouth and looked at me. He looked worried. He probably thought I was gonna tell him he was full of crap, but I didn’t think that at all.
“Sometimes,” I started, “sometimes when we would be at the library or the museum I’d look at people like that too. I’d stare at them so hard and just tell ‘em to come over here. Just come over here and get me. Just as soon as someone would start that way Mama would come and look at them. She’d give ‘em that stare. You know, the one where it looked like she was lookin’ right through ya. They’d freeze right there when she did that.” I felt weird as I confessed this to him. Tyler’s eyes searched mine, and he brought his forehead to mine.
“So if we’re both weird like that what are we gonna do when we get to Evelyne’s house?” I knew he wanted me to tell him which way we should go, or what we should do, but I just didn’t know. I’d been the one followin’ his lead my whole life, and it looked like Tyler was just as confused as I was about what we were supposed to do now.
“I don’t know what we’re supposed to do.” I sat back in my seat and looked outside again. Tyler took my hand in his. His presence alone comforted me more than anything else in the world could. I was more thankful than ever that I had my brother with me to help me decide what to do next. We each sat in silence, the weariness of our journey so far catchin’ up with us. I knew that it wouldn’t be long before I fell asleep again, and I wanted Tyler to know somethin’.
“Thank you for always bein’ here for me,” I told him. I felt his heartbeat like it was my own. I knew when he was in pain, and I knew when he was happy. Right now he was a little bit a both.
We made it to Jacksonville, but didn’t have a chance to get off the train. We needed food so we took our backpacks with us and made our way to the dining car. There was so much there to eat that we’d never had before. Mama never let us eat packaged food. She said that it was bad for our bodies and would make us tired and lazy. I never argued with her about it because I really didn’t know what I was missin’. We ordered some cokes and sandwiches and took them back to our seats to eat. The first taste of the bubbles runnin’ down my throat made me choke, but I soon slurped down the entire can. It tasted like liquid candy. I looked over at Tyler, and saw that he was doin’ the same thing.
“You kids look like you’ve never drank a coke before today.” I looked over to the other side of the aisle to see a lady about Mama’s age watchin’ us close. “I noticed y’all earlier. Aren’t y’all a bit young to be riding the train alone?” She looked at us suspiciously.
I shook my head at her and swallowed the bite of sandwich I had in my mouth. “No, ma’am. We’re travelin’ to see our Aunt in Charleston. She knows we’re comin’. With the two of us together it’s pretty safe to travel alone.” She nodded at us, and went back to readin’ her magazine.
The ride from Jacksonville to Charleston seemed like it took forever. I saw the trees passing by, and knew that every mile the train chugged along was another mile away from Mama. I didn’t want to dwell too much on why we’d been hurt so much in our lives, but livin’ through it was a testament to how strong Tyler and I were. I day dreamed about what our Aunt would look like. I wondered if she looked like my Daddy. I reached down and took a photo of him out of my backpack and I held it in my hands. I traced the hollows of his cheeks and his lips with my fingertips. I don’t remember what Daddy looked like but I imagined him throwing me in the air, and calling me his princess. I thought about the way his arms would have felt, cradling me tight and tellin’ me stories. I leaned to the left and laid my head on Tyler’s arm. He was sittin’ back with his feet propped up on the foot rest in front of him, and his hands were folded in his lap. He looked so happy.
I cradled the picture of Daddy in my lap, and closed my eyes. I’d cried so many tears when I was growin’ up that I just couldn’t muster any now. I didn’t want to think about how different my life could have been if Daddy hadn’t died, but it was hard to do. I wanted to feel safe again. I hoped that Aunt Evelyne was a good person, and I hoped that she wouldn’t turn us out.
Chapter 3
The sun was high in the sky when we
arrived in Charleston. The trip had taken almost eight hours, but since we’d left at the crack a dawn it felt like we was just wakin’ up for the day when the train pulled in. Tyler had slept most of the way from Jacksonville to
Charleston, and I had to shake him to wake him up.
I picked up my bag and threw it over my shoulders, and waited for Tyler to unfold his long bones from the seat. I smiled as he stood up and stretched. I hoped that Aunt Evelyne was a good cook because it was time for Tyler to add some weight to his frame. We
walked off the platform feelin’ happy, and optimistic. I knew that today was gonna be the first day of the rest of our lives.
Finding a cab at the train station wasn’t hard. Tyler had looked in the tin when he took a trip to the bathroom, and there was almost two hundred dollars in it. Can’t understand why Mama left that kind a money in a tin inside Daddy’s old boxes, but I wasn’t gonna complain about havin’ more money than we knew what to do with. We gave the driver the address that was on the letters, and he drove us out a the train station like a crazed lunatic. Mama never drove fast anywhere that we went, and it was scary ridin’ with someone like this. I squeezed my eyes shut as he swerved around a car, and only let my breath out when I realized that we was still alive. I felt my stomach drop and got real queasy, but I took a couple of deep breaths and it seemed to settle down some. I really didn’t wanna throw up on myself in the back seat of the cab.
It was a harrowing ride, but I enjoyed the scenery. I could sense that we were headed towards the water. We got off of the expressway onto Meeting Street, and kept going towards the water. The roads became more narrow, and the cab driver began to slow. I knew that where ever we were goin’ had to be somewhere expensive as all of the houses we were passing were large mansions.
The driver turned right onto South Battery, and slowed in front of a gorgeous four story mansion with a wrought iron gate, and a white wooden verandah on the first three levels. I had never seen a home that beautiful, except in magazines. The cab driver took the fare from Tyler and we stepped out onto the pavement. We opened the wrought iron gate, and walked through. I led the way up the seven steps onto the front porch. The steps were lined with trees, and potted plants. It looked lived in, and loved. I was nervous, my palms were sweatin’. I was eager to knock on the door, but expectin’ it to be slammed in our faces.
