by Zoe Adams
Indiana sat in school and looked at a wall clock. She begged it to start going backwards. She gave up on the slow telling hand after sixty seconds. Once again, she buried herself into other people’s gathered knowledge.
The young lady wanted to finish high school as quickly as possible. She wouldn’t be able to do anything until she turned eighteen. She would have to figure out how to bypass one more year of high school.
Then there was the matter of missing speed. Voracious educating helped keep her from missing the racetrack during the day. But her dreams were unfettered. They were filled with roaring engines and cars doing burnouts at night.
In class, Indiana was a school utensil; a writer or computer to take someone’s commands. The other girls giggled about boys, fingernails, and hair. The latest newcomer found the chatter dull compared to the truth of attraction.
Indiana didn’t want to be a teenager. She wanted to be a race car driver. She wanted to be the shiny and glittering celebrity on Richard’s arm.
But her life wasn’t for dreaming. She would be stuck in a textbook and her mother’s plans until she graduated college. Indiana wanted a college degree by the time she turned eighteen. She began focusing on the high expectation.
Eventually she found a slight reprieve after pulling an all-nighter at school. She decided to go for an early morning walk. The campus sat desolate and quiet. Indiana felt the duality of nature and herself.
She went to the chapel. It glowed damply in the early morning air. She had never prayed, and took pride in never asking for help. She felt small and inadequate to bother a god who took billions of complaints daily.
Instead she let her mind wander. She thought about her past, and imagined the future. She saw herself as a successful driver continuing the Bernstein name in the great halls of racing records. She imagined standing beside a steaming race car and opening a bottle of champagne. Indiana sprayed herself, everyone, and everything with bubbly goodness. Of course, Richard stood there and congratulated her with his delicious lips celebrating on hers. Indiana’s face relaxed into a wide smile and she let herself enjoy the daydream.
The respite from copious studying and memorization skills had her in rare form. The priest entered his church and walked well around her. Indiana realized she looked like the height of spiritual commune. Indiana nodded then closed her eyes. She left the church before it filled for its civilized meeting.
Later in the day she watched the race with attention equaled by few. Five hours later, Richard set racing history by winning two races in a row. Indiana jumped up and down until he kissed the lips of the hot blonde beside him. The microphone was thrust into his giddy face and his deep voice dizzied every girl watching TV.
“How does it feel to win two races in a row?” the beautiful reporter queried the man who encapsulated most feminine fantasies.
Indiana noticed a vague trace of wariness when he answered, “It’s great. I’d like to thank everyone who believed in me. I want to dedicate this win to the Bernstein family and all the other little fighters out there.”
He smiled heavily at the camera before being sidetracked by the unending array of fans and supporters. Indiana watched until new news filled the television set.
She had just enough time to get started on next month’s school assignments. She buried herself in knowledge and time went quickly. The school year finally ended.
Chapter 4
Summer came. Indiana went home to the lush rolling hills. Long, unchartered amounts of time seemed dim. She fully expected it to drag. She didn’t realize how much she’d grown until she tried on last summer’s clothes. Her shorts were now short shorts.
Her intelligence seemed more at home in an adult body, but she didn’t have time for fashion or trends. All of her clothes were cut-offs and tear-ups.
There was no way she would be going back to that school for one more year. Indiana wanted to get her GED or high school equivalency diploma. Then she could just go to college.
Indiana did her homework on the matter and was delighted to find she didn’t need parental approval. As a matter of fact, they handed out these equivalency diplomas like free condoms for high schoolers. She took the test, got her diploma, and then told her mother about it.
It worked in Indiana’s favor. Her mother couldn’t do a thing. Indiana enrolled in the college of her choice. She felt free and tied down at the same time. She wouldn’t come home or take summers off until she graduated college.
Indiana didn’t know what to do with her spare time. She sat home alone five out of the seven nights. The empty and neglected house offered a meager refuge.
Mrs. Bernstein had found a new flame in a local doctor. She spent every second of her time with him and his younger children. Indiana’s older brother, Tommy, had been accepted into military school. His dreams of driving fast for fame ended one Sunday afternoon with a fiery race car. His aspirations turned toward becoming a five-star general.
Indiana found the distraction she needed in the garage. The shop looked as big as the main floor of the house, but held rarer and more coveted items. She noticed a fine layer of dust settled on the workbench, shelves, and ground.
She felt chagrined to see the shine removed from her father’s possessions. She picked up a wide broom and started walking down the aisles.
Everything had been left the way it had been the night of her birthday. She thought about how many things changed in less than a year. Her mother had treated her like a little girl at her birthday. Now, half a year later, she was left to fend for herself.
In the back of the garage under a heavy blanket sat another memory of happier times. Indiana stopped the cleaning walk. She removed the protective covering and smiled at the Chevrolet emblem. The classic hunk of metal gleamed dully. The overhead lighting of the shop couldn’t bring out any more luster.
Indiana would have to finish it herself. Indiana climbed behind the steering wheel. The smell of used leather and dusty dash gave a comfortable request for use. Her father had bought this car as one of the last things he did. She remembered the night it had been lovingly received in the shop.
“1969 Chevelle. If I only had time to restore it.” Clarence had gently fingered the cracked brake light.
Richard had circled the muscle car appreciatively. “Man, those headlights look wicked. I can’t wait to see this thing fly down the road.”
“You and me both,” Clarence said eagerly. “Now I have to start shopping for parts. It has to stay all original.”
Indiana had been in the garage, trying to be inconspicuous. She looked up from the hose of the air compressor. Her motorbike had legitimately needed air, but it took her an unusually long time. She had stayed because it was the safest place to be amidst the rumbling movers. Indiana watched with quiet observance until it was too late to ride her bike and she had been forced to enter the feminine side of the property.
Now she looked closely at the old car. From the very first touch of hard steel she felt compelled to finish the car’s restoration. Indiana could finally pass the time to her own enjoyment. She drowned herself in the car’s completion.
She carefully cataloged the waiting parts. The manual was studied. For once, Indiana felt useful information being engraved in her brain. Proper placements of hoses, wires, and tubes made progress slow. Indiana was a proper workaholic. She survived on three- or four-hour naps and delivered meals.
The summer passed, but still hadn’t helped the car attain its smooth running motor. Indiana didn’t know what she missed, but the car wouldn’t start. There were only a few days left before requirements forced her to leave for college. She worked late into the night.
She sweated to the oldies in a small t-shirt and shorts. Pounds of brown hair were on top of her head in a big, wispy knot. She wouldn’t stop for anything. Speakers blared one of her father’s classic songs and she didn’t hear a car in the driveway.
Indiana was bent under the hood and dipping her hips to the beat of the song wh
en Richard materialized beside her. She jumped in shock. Her surprise was quickly replaced with embarrassment. She dropped her head and looked at her greasy clothes.
He let out a low whistle. “Looks pretty good, Indy.”
The sound of anyone calling her Indy again made her smile even bigger. He studied the motor and the superiorly clean engine. He looked back at the girl beside him.
Indiana stepped away from the dizzying scent of the man and shut down the blaring music. When she came back to the car she held out two bottles. He took the cold beer and she had a sip of warm water.
“I haven’t driven by this house in a long time, but tonight I did for some strange reason. I expected a much different result. Not to find it unchanged and lit up with a grease monkey working early in the morning.”
He picked up her tiny white hands with black creases of grease and studied them appreciatively. “Just what I thought, you are your father’s daughter.”
“I can’t help what I like.” She looked at the only man she considered her equal.
He dropped her hand like it was on fire. “Yes, you have good taste. Now get behind the wheel and turn the key when I say so.”
Richard lowered his head to the engine. Indiana sat behind the wheel.
With a deft tug and a pull, he yelled at her. “All right, try to start the car.”
Indiana turned the key in the ignition. It roared to life. She grinned from ear to ear when the vented hood was set to its lowered position. Richard jumped into the passenger seat.
“All right, Indy. Let’s see if this bad boy runs. Let’s go for a drive,” he said.
“The license plates on this car expired ten years ago.”
“So? What’s the point of being a professional race car driver if you can’t drive whatever you want?” He pulled a cigar out of his pocket and asked, “Do you mind?”
“I like cigars,” Indiana replied.
Just like usual, she couldn’t find any flaw in his logic. She put the transmission into action.
“You drive very smooth, Indy.” The cigar was nipped and lit. “Probably the only girl I will let drive me.”
His humorless chuckle bounced despondently around the interior of the car. He sucked on the cigar. Indiana savored the sense of well-being that accompanied expensive banana leaf and cracked upholstery. The night showcased a sweet breeze through the open window.
With the next stop of the car, she removed the slipping hold of hair. The curtain of brown fell around her shoulders. Long strands began to whip around her head. Indiana rolled up her window with a smooth execution of circles. The calmness brought more serious communication.
“How do you like school?” Richard’s sincerity had her feeling life again.
“I got my GED at the beginning of summer. I’m starting college this fall semester.” Indiana hoped the smoothness in her voice matched the car ride.
Richard’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened. “You are going to university at fifteen years old?”
Indiana smiled proudly. “The sooner I get out of school the better. I plan to graduate college when I’m eighteen.”
Richard sat silently and smoked the cigar. He placed a large palm on her shoulder. “You’re very smart, and I suppose congratulations are in order. But I’m sorry for you to miss out on school dances, prom, and a real graduation. You need to enjoy life and quit rushing through your youth.”
“Ha. That private school was pure hell. The only thing I enjoyed about that place was leaving. The sooner I grow up, the sooner my life can begin. Then I know I’ll be happy. Being away at boarding school served everyone well but me. Mom has both kids out of the house and can pursue other things. She’s putting the house on the market next month. My only home will be college. Everything will be sold except the things I take with me to school. Dad’s tools and cars will be up for auction.”
Indiana’s voice had cracked. Her whole being lurched at the thought of losing her father’s things. She took a few big gulps of air and prayed her eyes would stay dry.
Indiana’s thoughts stumbled forward after a moment. “I don’t plan on taking breaks from college during the summer. There is nowhere else for me but learning institutions until I turn eighteen.”
Indiana had already resigned herself to a future without smiles. But right now she could, and would, give Richard a brave smile. Smoke covered his eyes in the pale moonlight. Indiana didn’t know what else to do, so she drove. The classic car stretched out on the quiet countryside. Indiana kept driving into the night. The smell of the salty sea became heavy in the dark air and the road ended at an open parking lot.
Indiana raised her eyebrow and smiled at her passenger.
The pier was famous for lovers and moonlit escapades. Richard quickly snuffed out his cigar.
“All right, my turn to drive.” He jumped out of the car in a flash.
He held the driver side door open for Indiana’s exit. She looked up at him but slid across the interior seat instead.
He shrugged and got in the car. Indiana sat closer to him than to the passenger door. With the excited driver showing his experience, she slid across leather and placed into the proper proximity of the seat.
The sun came up. They were farther up the coast and closer to his house than hers. Indiana yawned and her eyelids drooped. Richard stopped the exercised car in the driveway of a Spanish villa.
Indiana stepped into his bachelor house for the first time. The colors were semi-bright, cheerful, and clean, with tall adobe walls. Wrought iron windows and rails let light through the tall ceilings and main hallways.
Richard shut the front door and faced her. “When was the last time you ate something?”
Indiana stretched her gaze over his tall shoulders and looked at the ceiling.
Richard threw up his hands in exasperation. “I can’t believe you tell me to take care of myself but won’t do the same for yourself.”
Indiana slumped and didn’t know what to say.
“For all of your intelligence, you don’t know the last time you ate?” He shook his head ruefully and studied her. “I guess you are still a kid.”
Indiana had enough time to remind herself why she was hungry. “I couldn’t stop working on the car.”
The answer struck a chord with Richard and he smiled mischievously. “Come on. I’m hungry too.”
Richard put grade-A steaks in a pan. He scrubbed a few potatoes, poked them, and set them in the microwave. He picked out a bottle of wine and opened it. He had the bachelor dinner down to a fine and quick art.
Indiana forgot sleepiness as she watched him. He took over the kitchen with the same easiness he did everything else.
He doled out the wine, quite unfairly, into two delicate glasses. With classic ease he set a glass before her.
“Cheers, to the completion of the Chevelle and high school. These are two projects that would make any father proud.” He clinked glasses across the counter with her.
Indiana took a sip of the wine. It burned all the way to her empty stomach. She took another sip and soon entered uncharted territory.
She held out the drained glass for more.
Richard laughed and gave her a little more wine. “This is all the more you’ll get. Learning to pace yourself is the first lesson.”
When she stood up with a weave she understood his delay in contributing. Indiana opened the chill box and contented herself with a soda.
After the impromptu meal, Richard led her to a guest bedroom.
“Sleep for a while and then I’ll take you home.” He left her quickly.
Indiana knew the guest bedroom had hardly been used. Sheets and pillows still smelled and felt like stiff starch. She tossed, turned, and finally gave up the restful attempt. She wandered down the hall until she found a wide closed door. She opened it smoothly to the sound of soft snores.
Richard’s wide set of shoulders were turned away from the door. Indiana snuck into the room. Sharing a dormitory with a hundred girls had taugh
t her to walk with no weight. She slipped across the room quietly.
Standing on the far side of the bed, she looked at Richard. Bare shoulders had no tattoos or scars. A thick gold chain draped around his neck. The silk sheet barely covered a solid ribcage. He had hair in all the right places. His muscles bulged perfectly over a tall, smooth frame.
Indiana climbed into bed and stared at him. Never had she been able to safely stare at him so easily. Usually she hid her eyes and ducked her face to be near him. But not tonight. She stared until her eyes drooped shut.
She fell asleep. Passionate dreams were dominated by the smell of someone close. He already ruled her free thoughts during the day, but they were usually stifled. Tonight he reigned over her dreams like a king.
Indiana wanted to always wake up this way. The smell of coffee wafted into the room. It flipped her up and out of bed. Once out of the reclining position, she almost decided to go back to the spread.
Even in rest Richard commanded his pillow. He sent those destroyed carbons away with enough force to make his forest of chest hairs dance.
His gold chain glowed in the morning light. A cross, with somebody suffering, poked out haphazardly.
Indiana didn’t know he was religious. She couldn’t imagine him sitting in a church and being led to sing or pray. She couldn’t imagine him doing anything wrong. There were much better uses for this already perfect man. She could watch him all day, if she had all day, to have what she wanted.
Indiana sighed unconsciously.
Richard woke up and stretched. Confusion marked his green eyes as he considered the joiner in his bed.
“You don’t know what you’re doing to me.” Richard sat up quickly and anger darkened his voice.
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep.” Indiana unrolled from the covers.
She yawned and stretched her fully clothed body before getting out of bed. She left the sweet master’s domain. In the hallway, she took the first real breath of the day. It planted her feet back on the ground and pulled her head from the clouds. She fell back to earth with a staggering list of things to do.
