“What would you do if she wanted to get back together with you?” another one said.
“Hit the road, you…”Alan said without finishing his sentence.
“It would be pretty hard for her to hit the road without a car,” one of them said.
“I’d give her my beater. So long as she left,” Alan said and got a laugh.
The meeting ended. Alan drove home in his debt free 1996 Dodge Caravan with the bent bumper he’d bought a few weeks before. As he drove, he thought about his good fortune. And Kim, too.
Chapter Twelve
Alan and Darla sat on her couch watching Netflix, and when Heaven Is For Real rolled the final credits, Alan turned to his wife-to-be.
“I want to move back to Oshawa after we get married,” he said.
“Wait. What? Really?” Darla said.
“Well, my mom’s there. I have my friends there. And I don’t like it here.”
“I’m here. Isn’t that enough?”
“I have no friends here.”
“What are you talking about? You have friends here.”
“It’s not the same. I miss home.”
“And I’ll miss my home, my parents and my friends if we move down east. Did you think about that?”
“We’ll come to visit every few years.”
“Every few years? Are you serious? I don’t want to leave Langston Falls behind. I want to stay here. Besides, do you know what it’s like to sell a house in a depressed market and move everything thousands of miles away? It’s expensive. And what about Chelsey? She’ll leave all her friends behind. It’s tough for 12-year-old girls to make new friends in a new school. Girls are cliquey at that age. It will cost too much.”
“Money, eh? That’s what you’re really thinking of? I already had a woman that only cared about money. You’re just another one.”
“Another one what?”
“Another Kim.”
“I am not ‘another Kim.’ How dare you? Since when have I ever taken money from you?”
“You will. I can tell. I can see it now. She didn’t take my money at first –“
“I am not Kim! Don’t you dare say I’m her. I am not.”
“You will. I know you will,” he said.
“Alright, get out.”
“What?”
“Get out! I want you out.”
“You don’t want me here?”
“No. Out.”
She stood up and pointed at the door.
He sat and stared at her, aghast.
“I’m pointing at the door. Don’t you get it? Out.”
“Oh, I get it,” he said. “I’m gone.”
He got up and left with a slam of the door. She opened the door and said, “Good.”
And she slammed the door.
“Good riddance.”
Chapter Thirteen
Alan arrived at his apartment, went in and slammed the door. Poof laid on the back of the couch and ran under the kitchen table from the noise.
“Who does she think she is?”
He wanted to yell and call her names he would never repeat in church company. But he didn’t. Instead, he paced around his old apartment and muttered. This went on for half an hour until he sighed and sat down. Poof joined him, stretching out on his lap upside down. He laughed at her.
“Are we broken up now? Should I call her, Poof? No. She should call me.”
The door buzzer sounded. Alan put Poof aside and went to the security panel.
Is that her?
“Hello?” he said when he pushed the talk button.
“Hello? Alan?”
A woman’s voice?
He could barely hear her through the defective speaker.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Can I come up?”
Alan pushed door release button to let her in. He waited by the door until he heard a knock. He opened the door and found Kim standing there.
“Kim? What are you doing here?”
“I missed you,” she said.
She stepped in close to him. He didn’t back away.
“How did you find me?”
“Facebook.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I missed you, my man.”
She ran her hand up his arm, like she had before.
“You think I’d take you back after what you and that guy did to me?”
“He made me do it.”
“Really? You want me to believe that?”
He wanted to believe her.
“I never wanted to do it, but he would hit me and said he’d kill me if I didn’t do it. I’m so sorry.”
She looked up at him with pleading, sorrowful eyes.
“How do I know he didn’t send you here?”
“He’s gone. I kicked him out. He took all my money so I finally sent him away.”
“Where is he now?”
She shrugged.
“I’m just glad he’s gone. It’ll never happen again. I swear. I only want us to be together again.”
Poof came to the door and brushed her leg. She looked down, disgusted.
“You have another cat?”
Alan picked up Poof and scratched her.
“She stays with me,” he said.
Her face changed to a forced smile.
“I can get used to a cat. What his name?”
“Her name is Poof.”
“She’s cute.”
Kim moved up for a kiss, and Alan kissed her. She took his hand and led him to the bedroom. Alan hadn’t made love to Darla. They had decided to wait until their honeymoon. But he didn’t want to wait with Kim. When they finished, she cuddled into him.
“So, are we back together again?” she asked him.
He nodded. And thought about Darla.
Chapter Fourteen
Several days past, and Alan’s mind turned to Darla. Kim had moved in with him.
Did I make a mistake? he thought.
Alan showed up an Darla’s doorstep. He rang. She answered.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi.”
“Are you okay?”
“Fine.”
Tension.
“I’ve gotten back together with Kim.”
“What?!”
Tears filled her angry blue eyes.
“Well, you split up with me.”
“I didn’t break up with you. We had a fight. And you ran back to her? After what she did?”
“She’s different now.”
“No, she’s not. People like her don’t change.”
“Why did you throw me out?”
Capone came to the open door and tried to get out. Alan lifted him up.
“Come in. I don’t want Capone getting out.”
Alan brought the Tuxedo Cat in and closed the door.
“How’s Poof?” she said.
“She’s okay.”
“Remember, she hates cats. She made you get rid of Buster. She’ll do that with Poof.”
“She’s changed.”
“No, she hasn’t.”
“How can you say that? You don’t know her?”
“Before I met Ken, I went out with a guy like her. He treated me like dirt and stole money from me. I would break up with him, and he’d come back and apologize. He’d tell me he’d never do it again. But after a few weeks, he’d be back to his jerkwater ways. She’s already proven to you what she’s like. She will go back to her old ways. They always do.”
“I don’t know,” Alan said.
He reached out and took her hand.
“I don’t know what to do. And she’s here now.”
“You have to decide,” she said.
“I can’t decide between the two of you.”
She ripped her hand out of his.
“If you can’t decide, I’ll decide for you. Get out. And don’t come back.”
“Darla.”
“Get out. We’re over. So over.”
Alan turned and opened the door. He looked
back at her, knowing he’d done wrong. He’d maltreated a good woman. And he didn’t know what to do about it. Kim waited at home. He sat in his van, deciding. And he left, knowing he’d never come back.
Chapter Fifteen
Alan drove, meandering his route home. He went inside. He got Poof, held her and cried, burying his face in her deep, soft fur. She stayed still, and his tears wet her. She purred and got scratched.
“How a cat can make someone feel better,” he said. “Is she holding Capone right now?”
After a while, Kim came in carrying shopping bags from several different stores.
“You went shopping?” Alan said.
“Yeah,” she said, drawing the word out in sarcasm.
“Where did you get the money? I thought Bill took all your money?”
She hesitated.
“I had some hidden in a savings account.”
He knew she lied. He had ruined it with Darla and had gotten back together with a liar. Yet, Kim kept him from being alone. He hated to be alone. A rotten woman is better than no woman. At least, he had Poof.
Chapter Sixteen
Alan stopped going to church so he wouldn’t see her. Besides, Kim didn’t like it. He avoided her at work, but sometimes he had to be near her. At times, she would say, “Hi” other times not. Did she maybe want to see him again? He didn’t know. He sat down one day and wrote:
I don’t know if I will ever hold her again
I don’t know if I will brush away her tears when life hurts
I don’t know if I can work by her side without being by her side
I don’t know where this is going or how to get there
She makes love without touching me
She smiles and I am glad
With her I am immortalized
With her I can fly
Did my chance fade away?
Did my love find another?
Can I find another way?
Can I help but wonder?
I wasn’t looking to love
I was looking to live
I don’t know
God, I don’t know
Take this uncertainty away
There has to be a way
But I am lost
And I have paid the price
I tore her heart out
And she ripped herself from me
What can I do to repair the damage?
I don’t know how to fix us
I ask, what have I done to deserve this?
And yet, I already know the answer
Can she forgive me?
That I don’t know
He wanted to give the poem to her but couldn’t.
She probably doesn’t want to see it anyhow.
Alan rested back into his recliner and put his poem on the end table. He sighed. He felt tears coming on when Poof leaped onto his lap and walked up and down on him until she settled on the chair’s arm. Alan laid his hand on his leg.
Poof bent down and rubbed her face and head into his hand, back and forth, over and over. She purred. Alan’s tears failed to develop. Alan’s heavy heart lightened.
Poof stopped rubbing and began rolling around Alan’s lap and the chair. She rolled so much she fell to the floor. She tried to break her fall by clawing into the chair and pulling herself up, but she hit the floor. Alan giggled.
“You’re quite the Poof, Poofer.”
She jumped back up and curled up on his lap. He petted her.
“I love you, Poof. My gift from God.”
*
One Saturday, Alan and Poof spent the evening watching television when the door buzzed. Alan answered it and let Pastor Jim in.
“I’m surprised to see you,” Alan said.
He hadn’t seen Jim in months.
“I was concerned about you,” Jim said. “May I come in?”
“Yes, yes. Would you like a Coke? Coffee?”
“A Coke would be nice.”
Alan got him a can from the fridge and one for himself. He turned off the t.v. They sat at the kitchen table.
“How have you been, Alan?”
“Uuh, okay.”
“Where’s your girlfriend?”
“I don’t know. She’s out. Sometimes she goes out. I don’t know where she goes. She won’t tell me. She comes home late at night stinking of alcohol and her hair and clothes a mess.”
Poof came into the kitchen and rubbed Jim’s leg. He looked down.
:Well, look who’s gotten bigger,” Jim said.
“Yeah, she’s no longer a kitten. Just a big ball ‘o fur. My Poofer.”
“And what’s your girlfriend’s name again?”
“Kim.”
“And Kim doesn’t have a problem with Poof?”
“Yes, she does. She’ll come into bed on the few nights she stays home and if Poof is on the bed, she’ll throw her out of the room. ‘No cats on the bed,’ she’ll say. Poof is scared of her. I think she hits Poof, but I haven’t seen it. She keeps accusing me of loving Poof more than her.”
“Do you?”
“Yep,” Alan said.
He ran his fingers down her back, and she pushed her bum in the air.
“How are you money wise?”
“Okay.”
“Has she taken money from you?”
“She borrows money every week.”
“Does she pay it back?”
“Uhh, no.”
“Is she working?”
“Nope.”
“So you’re financing her nightlife?”
“Pretty much, I guess.”
“What happened to Kim’s ex-boyfriend?”
“She said she split up with him because he stole all her money. That he made her steal my money and basically ruin me. Why?”
“Was his name Bill?”
“Yeah. How did you know that?”
“Remember the suicide we discussed in the workshop? The man who threw himself off the Maple Avenue Bridge?”
“Yes.”
“His name was Bill Standnik. He left a suicide note that his family shared with me. He said his girlfriend ruined him. She convinced him to get credit cards, a line of credit, and a car loan in his name. She left him $56,000.00 in debt. A debt he couldn’t pay off. He decided suicide was his only way out. He named her in the note: Kimberly.”
Alan’s mouth dropped open.
“That’s no coincidence,” Alan said.
“No, I don’t think so either.”
“That – that—“
Alan wanted to curse and swear but didn’t because a man of God sat across from him.
“I can’t believe she did that,” Alan said. “She asked me to get her a credit card, but because of my bankruptcy, I don’t have a good credit rating. So no credit cards. Thank God. I bet she’s doing it to whoever she goes out and sees when she’s gone for hours. I bet she’s doing it right now.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know. I really blew it with Darla. Does she still go to church?”
“Yes, she does. She asked me to come and see you. To see how you’re doing. She’s concerned you might try to hurt yourself.”
“I’m stronger than that now. Is she seeing anyone now?”
“I think she’s gone on a few coffee dates but nothing serious.”
Alan felt a pang of jealousy then relief.
“I should call her,” Alan said.
“Will you come back to church? That would make a big difference.”
“Yes, I will.”
“Good. I look forward to seeing you there. It’s getting late, and I’ve got an early service in the morning that I still have to prepare for. See you there.”
They shook hands, and Jim left.
Alan paced the living room and thought about what he would say to Kim. As the night wore on, he looked forward to it more and more. It was 11:10pm.
Chapter Seventeen
At 1:30am, Alan heard Kim try to slide her key into the lock. She failed
.
Too drunk.
Alan unlocked and yanked the door open. He glared at her. She stumbled in and reeked of liquor with her clothes disheveled.
“What happened to Bill?” he asked her.
“Bill who? I don’t know.”
“I’ll tell you. He killed himself because of you. You broke him just like you did to me.”
“I didn’t ‘break’ anyone,” Kim said and swore.
“You broke me. I almost commit suicide because of what you did. Bill didn’t make you charge up my credit cards and steal my money. You did it yourself.”
“Yeah, so. You know, you’re lucky to have me. You can’t do any better than me. You’re short...fat…ugly. A loser.”
“I’m a loser? The only way you get by is by stealing from guys you make fall in love with you. Using your looks and sex to manipulate them.”
“At least, I have looks. Not like your ‘fiancé.’ Oh, wait. She’s no longer your fiancé.”
“Darla is beautiful.”
“Ugly redhead with too many freckles.”
“She loved me. Me. ‘A loser’.”
“Where is she now? Not here. I’m here. Right now.”
“I’d rather live here alone with Poof than spend one more minute with you.”
“I hate that cat. I hate all cats.”
“Darla loves Poof. I never should’ve gotten back together with you. I don’t deserve you. You’re filth. I cannot love a woman like you, especially if she hates cats.”
“Sshhh,” she said. “Calm down, lover. We can go back to Oshawa. That’s what you want, isn’t it? She won’t go there. And you can keep Poof.”
“I’d stay if I could get her back. Besides, you’re messing around with some guy or guys. I don’t know. You’ll do the same thing to him. You’ll ruin him too. We’ve over. I want you out. Right now.”
“I will destroy you.”
The Christmas Cat Tails Page 8
