by Rob Favre
A gravelly crunch. A second later, another. Then another.
Renay and I looked at each other. Footsteps. And they were getting closer.
Maybe this was our help. We walked up the street to the corner. Whatever was making that noise was getting closer now. We looked around the corner.
I laughed out loud.
Standing in the middle of the next intersection was a towering creature, at least five meters high. It stood on its hind legs, had a long tail, and a huge mouth full of daggerlike teeth. Its scales were bright red, with a distinct, bright yellow “M” on its side.
Yes, a Tyrannosaurus Rex, decorated like a McDonald’s billboard.
It spotted us and roared.
I stopped laughing.
It lunged toward us, gaining three meters with each thunderous stride.
Without a word, we dashed back around the corner. The grass and weeds growing out of the street whipped against my bare shins. Trees and buildings sped past in a blur. Renay was right beside me, stride for stride. I had no idea where Mustard was. I risked a quick glance behind me. The scaly red monster was still stomping our way, head low to the ground. It roared again.
My foot caught on a jagged chunk of pavement hidden under the grass, and I tumbled to the ground in a heap.
Luckily, I mostly landed on foliage, so I wasn’t too hurt apart from some scrapes on my knees and elbows. Unluckily, I knew that if a Tyrannosaurus caught up to me, scrapes were going to be the least of my concerns.
“Come on, get up!” Renay had stopped and come back for me. Her black hair stuck to her damp forehead and drops of sweat had carved paths through the dust on her face. She helped me to my feet and we took off again.
“We cannot outrun it!” she shouted as we ran. “We must hide!”
I looked for a building that might still be mostly intact, but it’s tough to evaluate architecture when you’re running for your life. My brain, trying to be helpful in this moment of crisis, wondered if our pursuer would consider us a Happy Meal.
It roared again, close enough now that I felt the heat and stench of its breath on wash over me in a rancid wave. We couldn’t be more than a couple steps ahead. I didn’t turn to look.
My legs were churning as fast as they ever have. I felt nothing but the sour wind whipping through my hair. Renay was a few steps in front of me. She spotted a building on the corner that looked promising, tried to turn to get there, slipped and fell with a cry of surprise.
I stopped, turned back to try to help her.
It was too late.
The great red beast was looming over her, over both of us. Between its nostrils, I could make out individual apple-red scales the size of quarters. It roared down at us again, and hot, putrid breath engulfed us. Renay was almost back on her feet, but there was nothing we could do. We were lunch.
Without thinking about it or really meaning to, I did something completely crazy: I roared back.
Into that roar went all of my frustration, my anger at coming all this way for nothing, at being wrong about where to look for help, at knowing that Renay was going to die because of me, that everyone back on the colony was going to die because of me, that I would never eat another burrito, that nobody would ever know I had been here, and nobody would ever hear the tale of how I got eaten by a nightmarish mashup of two of my very favorite things as a little boy, dinosaurs and McDonald’s. All that went into the fiercest, most terrifying shriek I could muster.
There was a blinding flash of purple light, and the T-rex tumbled to the ground in a heap. I heard a faint sizzle and the air smelled of cooked meat.
The flash had been bright enough to blind me for a moment. I blinked, but all I could see was the color green. What had happened? Had I done that? For just a moment, I thought that I might actually have a mutant superpower.
Slowly, cautiously, Renay and I approached the motionless beast. It wasn’t too long before we saw that something had burned a ten-centimeter hole clean through the center of its skull, blackening the flesh around the edges.
“You okay?” I asked her.
She nodded. “You?”
“Alright, I think. I’d rather not do that again. Hold still, it looks like you got cut.” I brushed the damp hair back from her forehead. There was a cut, not too deep. Probably looked worse than it was. I tore a strip of relish-colored fabric from my sleeve and applied pressure.
“Tell me, Old one – what could have done that?” She pointed at the smoking ruin of the dinosaur’s skull.
Hopes for superpowers aside, I certainly had no idea, but once we started looking we found the answer right away. A few blocks away was a sleek black vehicle, smooth and low to the ground.
And, standing next to the truck, there was a man wrapped in brown and black and blue.
He waved.
We were too far away to see if the weapon that had just slain a dinosaur was pointed at us.
“We drew these for you, Auntie!” the boys shouted in unison as they burst into the chamber. There was an explosion of jumping, a cacophony of laughter. Somehow, she ended up holding a handful of crumpled paper. And, just as quickly as they’d appeared, the boys were gone, echoes of shouts and laughter following them as they vanished down the corridor.
Her sister looked at the pictures. A stick figure hitting a baseball. A black dog chasing a brown goat. “I do not think I will ever get used to being an aunt.”
“I am still not used to being their mother, so you are not alone.”
Her sister sighed, set down the papers. “I thought if I waited, perhaps I would end up with this. The happy ending. The life you seem to have. I wagered wrong.”
“It is far too soon to give up all hope. And you wagered everything on getting what you wanted, instead of settling for what life gave you. You inspired a lot of us, you know. They’ve made movies about you.”
“Movies? Who plays me?”
“Ronica McAdams, most recently. She is quite talented, though she plays you a bit too whimsical.”
“How does it turn out? Happy ending?”
“I do not wish to spoil it. You may want to watch it someday.”
“I will take my chances. What happens?”
“He comes back. A happy ending. I… cried when I saw it the first time.”
Her sister smiled thoughtfully. “That makes me feel a little better, somehow. In a way, I did get my happy ending.”
“Yes,” she said. “In a way.”
Chapter 15
The strange figure waved at us again, motioning for us to come toward him. I wanted to trust him. But we had encountered a lot of surprises already today, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for more.
“You think we should go say ‘hi’?” I asked.
Renay shrugged. “If he wanted us harmed, he would not have saved us from this large, hairless dog.”
I knew she was right. But I didn’t feel very confident as we walked slowly up the block. Buzzards lined the tops of the buildings on each side. They stared down at us as we walked.
“What are those, Tom?”
“Vultures.”
“What do they want?”
“They eat dead things.”
She made a face. “They are disgusting.”
I hoped the dinosaur was the only thing they would have a chance to snack on today.
We stopped about ten meters from our rescuer. He was wrapped in layers of black and gray cloth. He had brown skin, a close-cropped black beard, and dark, curious eyes. He was smirking. And he had a blue hat. I smiled when I saw it.
It was a Dodgers hat.
“Thank you for your help,” Renay said.
He said something back, which didn’t make any sense to me at all. It sounded like Chinese mixed with Spanish mixed with surfer slang.
Renay and I told him our names.
Our rescuer pointed to himself and smiled. “Chang.”
“Can we… come with you?” I pointed to his car and made a gesture that I really hoped meant
I wanted us to drive away with him, and not that I wanted his family to be eaten by weasels.
He held up a hand. A thousand years later, did that still mean “Wait?” I didn’t know what else to do, so we waited. He started talking into a little black device.
I jumped when a reddish shape moved in the corner of my eye.
“How’s it hanging, dudes?”
“Jeez, Mustard, you scared me. Where have you been?”
“I was looking for a hot dog cart. I haven’t found one yet.”
“Did you notice the giant dinosaur that tried to eat us?”
“Eat you? Why? You aren’t even covered in cheese.” Mustard tentacled toward Chang. “Who’s this guy?”
I explained what had happened. “He couldn’t have been too far away. Did you not notice him when you scanned for humans earlier?”
“Oh, no, of course I noticed him. But you said you were looking for humans.”
Before I could unpack any of that, Chan put down his device, and waved us toward him.
Up close, his vehicle looked like wide, a six-wheeled Humvee with gentle curves, painted flat black. It was high enough off the ground that we had to step up a small ladder to get in. My hand touched the black coating as I climbed, and even out here in the scorching afternoon sun, it was still surprisingly cool to the touch.
The inside of the vehicle was cramped and cluttered. We had to move piles of unfamiliar electronic devices and spare parts to make enough room for Renay and me to crowd in. I ended up in the middle, squashed between Renay and Chang. Mustard was about to climb on top of Renay, but Chang shouted at him, and he climbed up on top of the vehicle instead, fixing himself in place with his tentacles. Renay and I were still wearing relish onesies, and our bare legs were pressed up against each other in the cramped cabin. In all the months we’d spent together since leaving New Newton, this was the closest we had ever been.
The doors slid closed with a hiss, and we were off. Sudden violent acceleration, no engine noise. This either meant the motor was very quiet, or we couldn’t hear it over the thundering music that was pounding into the cabin. Renay and I covered our ears. Chang turned it down and said something that sounded apologetic.
This vehicle had been through a lot. The control panel was one flat piece of glass, scratched and dusty but still functional, with colored displays gliding around as Chang tapped the glass with his left hand and steered with a small stick in his right. The seats were made of soft fabric, scuffed and faded. But the whole thing felt solidly built, and the ride was fast and smooth and silent as we tore down a weed-covered highway toward the mountains.
I pointed to Chang’s hat. “Dodgers fan, huh?”
He smiled, and nodded, and said something I couldn’t make out, but I was pretty sure I heard the word “Dodgers” in there. I found myself hoping that maybe baseball was still a thing here, and that maybe the Dodgers were still a team. It would make this place feel more like home.
Another voice came over the speakers and had a rapid-fire conversation with Chang. I turned to Renay. “You okay?”
She nodded. “That animal – I believe I see why the Old Ones did not bring one along on our journey.”
“Yeah, we didn’t really have a choice. Those weren’t around when I lived here. They all died off millions of years before I was alive.”
“Not all of them, it seems.”
Renay stared out the window for a while, and I stared at the way her hair curled around behind her ear. It had a glint of red in it, when the light hit it just right. I’d never noticed that before. Outside, green-gray scrub brush was whipping by in a blur under the bright blue sky.
I turned to Chang. “How much farther?” I held my hands up and spread them apart in a gesture I hoped meant distance. His response was quick and completely incomprehensible. He smiled. I smiled back.
I turned to Renay. “Glad we got that cleared up.”
She covered her face with her hand. I think she was blushing. She leaned toward me and whispered “I do not understand what he is saying! Why is he talking like that?”
I suddenly realized something – Renay had never heard someone speaking a language she didn’t know. Everyone on the original Heifer crew had spoken English. Lots of us had also spoken other languages, of course – mine was “bad introductory Spanish” – but the mission planners had felt it was important that everyone on board share one common language. And Renay, of course, was descended from those crew members. There was a pretty good chance she’d never heard any language except the Heifer-specific dialect of English that I’d had to learn when I first thawed out.
“It’s another language. On Earth, different groups of people have different ways of talking.”
“Oh, like how people in Lower Stoor Edge say words wrong?”
“Kind of. Only instead of saying the same words but pronouncing them wrong, they would just use totally different words.”
She looked confused. “But why? Wouldn’t that make it hard for them to understand each other?”
I smiled. “Yeah. Plus, it means you have to learn other languages in school, which means even more homework. It’s just a bad idea all around.”
We spent the next few minutes talking about how my dad used to order from the Chinese delivery place around the corner, and they would, without fail, bring rice when he wanted noodles. Outside of the city, things didn’t look all that different than I remembered – dry hills covered in scrubby bushes. The road was covered with a lot more weeds and a lot fewer cars. We drove past a big glass dome, cracked open like an egg and covered in vines. It was too far away to see much of what was inside, but I thought I saw trees growing in there. I felt the warmth of Renay’s leg against mine and found myself idly wondering why we had kept so much distance between us during the trip here.
We crested the top of a hill and looked down onto a plain shimmering with heat. It was covered with low bushes, a single cactus, and what looked like a traveling carnival. Chang pointed and started chattering excitedly. I nodded and smiled, and hoped we weren’t about to become exhibits in a human zoo, or food for their pet T-Rex to eat in the arena before a roaring crowd.
As we got closer, I could make out more detail. I saw ten big black trucks, twenty circular structures that looked like above-ground swimming pools, dozens of small black vehicles, hundreds of small black solar cells, and a maze of snaking cables connecting every structure and vehicle.
Also, I could not help but notice, zero spaceships.
Renay noticed the same thing. “I do not see any space ships, Tom.” She sounded worried.
I tried a little light humor. “Maybe all their spaceships are invisible?”
This did not make her laugh.
We came to a stop outside the camp. A group of four guys dressed in dark wraps like Chang’s were waiting for us. They were all wearing blue Dodgers caps too. We’d stumbled into a whole nest of Dodgers fans. Chang jumped down and began an animated conversation with his comrades. Renay and I climbed down the other side, and began looking around in awkward silence, trying to figure out what was happening.
It was hot. Blistering, desert-afternoon-in-the-full-sun hot. So hot that it felt heavy on my shoulders. The camp was quiet. Apart from our welcoming committee, the only signs of life were a couple of solitary, dark-clad figures moving silently among the dozens of vehicles. High overhead circled a hawk, or maybe a drone, a dark speck in the bright blue sky.
“Hey, dudes!” Mustard tumbled down from the top of the vehicle and curled his way over to us. He looked excited. His face was covered with splattered bugs. If this bothered him in any way, it didn’t show.
“Hello, Mustard.” Renay gave him a hug. He wrapped four tentacles around her tenderly. “How was riding on the top of the vehicle?”
“It was fantastic! I haven’t ever traveled that fast before. Well, I mean if you don’t count everything before today. Like, we just spent many days traveling at close to light speed. But this… this was better! Wi
nd in my hair!”
She smiled at him. “Mustard, you don’t have any hair.”
“It was extreme!”
Chang must have said something funny, because his four buddies all laughed loudly and one of them started clapping. Then Chang motioned for us to follow him, and we walked into the heart of the camp. Chang and his friends formed a loose perimeter around me and Renay. They weren’t armed, as far as I could tell, but I thought I caught a glint of metal tucked into the folds of one guy’s garments. Maybe it was a knife. Maybe it was something else.
We walked a winding path between solar panels and scuffed black vehicles, carefully stepping over the dusty cables that coiled underfoot in every direction. We went past one of the circular swimming pools, and the walls were too high to see what was inside, but a sharp, sour odor hung heavy in the air around it. A deep, rumbling roar broke the heavy silence and I jumped a little. It sounded like a lion. It did not sound like a Tyrannosaurus, something I could now say from experience. I looked around in panic, trying to see where the noise was coming from. Chang said something, and all his friends cracked up. Nobody pointed at me or anything, but I got the distinct idea that I was part of whatever they found funny. None of them looked worried, so I was pretty sure we weren’t all about to be mauled by a wild animal. Probably.
We approached one of the big trucks. Up close it was even bigger than it looked from up on top of the hill, like someone put two school buses side by side, and then stacked two more on top of them. It rode on ten huge tires, each one almost as tall as me. It was flat black, just like Chang’s ride, except for a huge blue circle on the side with the LA Dodgers logo painted in white. On top was a giant dish-shaped antenna pointed at the sky. We climbed up a narrow spiral staircase to a small door and stepped inside.
It took my eyes a while to adjust from the searing sun to the darkness inside. When they did, I jumped.
Chang and his friends laughed again. One of them kneeled and scratched the ears of the cat that was asleep by the door. Normally I wouldn’t jump at the sight of a cat, but this one was unusual in a couple of ways. He was striped, deep green and black, and I thought I caught a glimpse of silver on his side, but I couldn’t make out what it was. He was also about two meters long and had twenty-centimeter fangs. But he made a contented rumbling as he got his ears scratched, rolled over on his back and stretched. I wondered if maybe he wasn’t as scary as he looked. But I didn’t exactly feel ready to rub his belly, either.
