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Chapter 1
“Do I know you?”
I glanced up from the book I wasn’t reading to find one of the inmates—I mean patients—of the Northern Wisconsin Mental Health Facility hovering at the edge of my personal space. In a place like this, people learn quickly not to get too close to anyone without warning them first. Bad things happen, and they happen quickly.
“I’m Willow,” I said. “Willow Black. But I don’t think we’ve met.”
I’d seen the woman around. The others called her “Crazy Mary,” which was very pot/kettle in my opinion, but no one had asked me. She was heroin-addict skinny. I gathered she’d done a lot of “self-medicating” on the outside. A lot of nutty people did. When you saw things, heard things that no one else did, you’d think you’d be more inclined not to take drugs that might make you see and hear more. The opposite was true. Trust me.
“Mary McAllister.” She shuffled her feet, glanced at the empty chair next to me, and I nodded. She scurried over, sat, smiled.
She still had all of her teeth, which was an accomplishment around here. I had mine, sure, but I was only twenty-seven. Mary had to be … it was hard to say. I’d take a stab and guess between thirty and sixty. Give or take a few years.
Mary looked good today. Or as good as she got. Her long, wavy graying hair had been brushed free of tangles. She’d had a shower recently, but she still wore the tan jumpsuit issued to problem patients. The more you behaved like a human being, the more you were allowed to dress like one. I, myself, was wearing hot-pink scrub pants and a white T-shirt that read NWMHF, which placed me somewhere between Mary’s solitary-confinement jumpsuit and the jeans and Green Bay Packer designer wear of the majority of the visitors. Not that I ever had any visitors, but I’d observed others.
Mary had been incarcerated a while. The powers that be didn’t like to call us “incarcerated,” but a spade was a spade in my opinion, and if you couldn’t waltz out the front door whenever you wanted to, I considered that “incarcerated.” Mary spent a lot of time either doped into zombieville or locked away from everyone else. She was schizophrenic, but around here that was more the norm than not. Sadly, Mary was on the violent side of the spectrum—hence the doping and the locking away.
“Willow.” She rubbed her head. “I don’t think that’s right.”
“What isn’t right?”
“Your name isn’t Willow.”
“It is.”
“No!” The word was too loud. She hunched her shoulders, glanced around to make sure none of the orderlies were headed our way. None were.
Yet.
“It hasn’t always been. It was something else. Before.”
Very few people knew about my past, or lack of it. Mary McAllister certainly shouldn’t. Unless she was part of it.
I’d been abandoned at birth. Found beneath a black willow tree on the banks of a babbling brook. Luckily for me it had been July, and there’d been a huge town picnic going on nearby. I’d been found almost immediately, or I’d have been dead.
I’d often wondered why the State of Wisconsin hadn’t named me Brook instead of Willow, though I guess Brook Black is a bit of a tongue twister.
“Your hair was red.” Mary leaned in close. “Your eyes were greenish-brown.”
Mary might seem good today but she was still talking crazy instead of truth. Even if I’d dyed my hair from red to blond, which I hadn’t, I didn’t think I could change greenish-brown eyes to blue, unless I wore superexpensive contact lenses. As I didn’t have enough money for new shoes, and putting anything near—never mind in—my eyes wigged me out, that hadn’t happened either.
“You have me confused with someone else,” I said. “That’s okay. Happens to everyone.”
Mary shook her head. But she didn’t argue any more than that. The silence that descended went on so long, I nearly went back to my book.
“I know what you are.”
I hadn’t shared what I was with anyone, though I guess it wasn’t a secret that I was here for the same reason Mary was.
“What am I?” I asked.
Might as well get the truth out in the open, although murderer was a bit harsh. The man hadn’t actually died.
No thanks to me.
“A witch,” Mary answered.
I laughed, but when her eyes narrowed I stopped. I’d been in here long enough, with people like her, to know better.
“Why would you say that?” Had I done something to her without realizing it? Or did she just think that I had?
“Because I’m one too.”
“When you say witch, you mean…?” I’d been thinking bitch but—
Mary cackled like the Wicked Witch of the West.
Maybe not.
That interpretation made more sense. If Mary thought she was a witch, it followed that she’d think I was as well. Which meant everyone in here was a card-carrying broomstick rider—at least according to Mary.
“You see things,” she continued. “Then they happen.”
Since becoming a resident of this facility I’d told no one of what I saw when I looked into the water. I’d stopped insisting that those incidents would occur. I wanted to get out of here while I was still young. So how did Mary know about my visions?
“I don’t understand what you mean,” I lied.
There wasn’t much that could be done about what was wrong with me. No amount of medication made the visions stop. Talking about them with my shrink certainly hadn’t. Pretending I didn’t have them was my only option, and I was getting better at it.
“You know any spells?” Mary lifted a bottle of water to her lips and sipped. The sun sparkled in it like a beacon. Images danced.
I closed my eyes, turned my head. “No.”
“We’ll have to find some.”
“Find spells? How? Where?” I should have asked, Why? My first mistake.
The sound of water splashing onto the floor made my eyes snap open. Second mistake.
The puddle on the ground at my feet reflected the ceiling tiles and the fluorescent lights for just an instant before I saw something that should not, could not, be reflected there.
A room with books, books, more books. I recognized the library here at the facility even before I saw myself at the center—green scrubs, blue shirt, bare feet. I was alone. On the floor lay a volume. The title: Book of Shadows.
I seemed to be searching for something, or maybe someone. I appeared frantic—pale, scared, trembling. What had I done this time?
Then a face appeared in the water, blotting out both me and the library. A man slightly older than me. Longish dark hair, scruffy beard. I’d seen him many times before. He was important, but I didn’t know why. He would keep me safe; he would save me. But I didn’t know from what.
“Ladies.” The mouth in the vision formed the word; those lips curved.
Strange. It was almost as if—
I lifted m
y gaze. He stood in front of us. Had I conjured him from my vision in the water?
I snorted. Conjured. Right. Mary’s witch talk was invading my head.
“Something funny?” he asked.
I reached out, my fingers trembling as they had in the vision, and he took my hand with a gentle smile. A spark flared where we touched, and I tried to pull away, but he held on, though his smile faded to a frown. From the zap of electricity? Or my odd behavior?
This could not be him. He wasn’t real. Even though he felt very much so.
I got to my feet, lifting my free hand toward his face. He was so tall I had to stretch. In my dreams of him I’d known he was big, strong. How else would he protect me from … whatever it was that he would?
He stilled, gaze on mine, but he didn’t stop me from touching him. I pushed aside his tangled hair. The tiny golden hoop in his ear made my eyes sting.
“It really is you,” I whispered.
Then I fainted.
*
Sebastian Frasier caught the girl before she hit the ground, swung her into his arms then stood there uncertain what to do with her.
The other woman, older, wearing a tan jumpsuit, which seemed to have come from the In Custody Collection, beckoned. Sebastian followed her to a room halfway down the hall.
The Northern Wisconsin Mental Health Facility had been built to follow the Kirkbride Plan of asylums in the mid-nineteenth century. Psychiatrist Thomas Kirkbride had had the idea that the building itself could aid in a cure. With long, rambling wings that allowed for sunlight and air, the structures were massive enough to provide both privacy and treatment. Built of stone, they were set on equally large grounds, often former farmland where the inmates could work as a form of therapy. They were damn hard to escape from, which was why this one had been designated by the state as the go-to facility for the criminally insane.
Inside the room were two beds. Made. Two dressers—one with stuff on top, one empty of everything but dust. Two closets—one also with stuff, the second just dust.
“That one’s hers.” The woman jabbed a skinny finger at the bed next to the nondusty dresser.
“Hers?”
The woman jabbed her finger again, and Sebastian laid his burden upon the mattress she’d indicated. He’d thought the girl an employee—nurse, orderly, maybe another doctor. She was dressed in scrub pants and a facility T-shirt. No ID tag, but he didn’t have one either. At least not yet.
Nevertheless, her lack of one, and this being her room, meant she was a patient not staff. She hadn’t looked crazy. But he should know by now that a lot of them didn’t. Her companion wasn’t one of them. Sebastian knew a lifer when he saw one.
“I should probably…” He glanced around for a button, a phone, some way to call a nurse, but he didn’t find one.
He stepped to the door, glanced into the hall. No nurse. Although he apparently wasn’t very good at spotting them.
There was only one name on the door. WILLOW BLACK.
“Is this Willow?” He returned to her bedside.
“Yes.”
“Has she been ill?”
Though Willow was tall, she was also very thin, her skin so pale he could see a fine trace of veins at her temple. Her hair was so light a blond it seemed silver, and her eyes before they’d fluttered closed had been such a vivid blue they’d seemed feverish.
He set his palm on her forehead, but he couldn’t tell if she had a fever that way. The only way he’d ever been able to discern one with his sister had been to press his lips to her forehead.
In this case … bad idea.
“Would you get…” Sebastian paused. “What’s your name?”
“Mary McAllister,” the woman said, but her gaze remained on Willow and not on him.
“Would you get a nurse, Mary?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“First time she sees you and her eyes roll up, she goes down. You think I’m leaving you alone with her? I might be crazy, but I’m not crazy.”
“I’m Dr. Frasier, the new administrator.”
Mary eyed him up and down. “Sure you are.”
At six feet five, two-fifty, Sebastian was huge, and his hands, feet, biceps reflected that. People often backpedaled the first time they saw him. He didn’t blame Mary for being leery, though she didn’t appear scared, just protective. Considering the fey frailty of Willow, he could understand that. Even if he worked here, that didn’t mean he wasn’t a creep.
“You’re right,” he said. “You stay with her; I’ll get someone.”
“If you’re a doctor, why do you need to get anyone?”
“I specialized in psychiatry.”
Mary gave him another once-over. Sebastian didn’t look like a psychiatrist. Although, really, what did one look like? He’d never met any who looked quite like him.
He could have tried to fit in better. Wear a suit and tie rather than a leather jacket and motorcycle boots. But as he’d driven his late father’s Harley from Missouri, wearing a suit and shiny shoes would have been awkward. He could have changed. Should have changed. But there’d been an accident near Platteville, then construction north of Wausau. He’d been lucky to get here on time.
He’d figured he could transform himself—as much as was possible considering his hair, his beard, and his dead sister’s earring, which he would not take from his ear, ever—in his office. But he’d been distracted by Willow Black.
As a result he was still wearing a black leather jacket and black dusty boots. His overly long hair was matted from the helmet, and he hadn’t shaved in several days. The guard at the front door hadn’t wanted to let him inside until Sebastian had shown his license. Then the man had hesitated so long, frowning at the years-old photo of Sebastian sporting a nearly shaved head, a completely shaved face, and no earring that Sebastian had become concerned he’d never get inside.
“Head doctor’s still a doctor,” Mary said.
Sebastian did have medical training. Not that he’d used it much.
He sat on the bed, then set his fingers to the girl’s wrist. Her pulse fluttered too fast. Which could mean anything or nothing at all.
Now what? He had no stethoscope, no blood pressure cuff, no thermometer. He was out of options.
“You have any idea what happened?” he asked.
“She saw something that upset her.”
In the hall there’d been the two women and himself. Sebastian might seem big and tough and scary, but he’d never had anyone faint at the sight of him before.
Mary shook the half-empty bottle in her hand. “I dumped it on the floor.”
“Accidents happen.”
“Not an accident. I wanted her to stare into the water, to see.”
“Microbes?”
Mary wouldn’t be the first psychiatric patient he’d met who was a germophobe. She was probably nearer the hundredth.
Mary cast him a disgusted glance. “The future.”
“You think Willow can see the future in the water?”
“I know she can.”
“And does Willow believe this too?”
“She’s never said so.”
“Can’t imagine why.” Sebastian returned his gaze to Willow’s beautiful, still face. What was it about her that called to him? His ridiculous need to save everyone, which had gotten worse after he’d been unable to save his sister?
“Why do you think Willow can see the future?” Sebastian asked.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
As the explanation probably involved headache-inducing kooky talk, not really. Sebastian was saved from answering when Willow began to come around.
Her eyes opened. He was struck again by how very blue they were. Sebastian had never seen eyes the shade of a tropical ocean. He’d never seen an ocean—tropical or otherwise—although he’d always wanted to. It was on his to-do list.
Willow smiled as if she knew him, as if she’d known him a long time, and just as she had
before, she reached out to touch his face. He should have gotten to his feet. He should not have let her touch him, but he was captivated by the expression in her eyes. Her palm cupped his cheek, and his heart stuttered.
“You’re here.”
Her voice made him shiver. Or maybe it was just her words, which also indicated that she thought she knew him. And that couldn’t be true no matter how much he might want it to be.
“Miss Black, I’m not—”
Her fingers flexed, her nails scratched against his three-day beard. “You are. I’m touching you. You’re real.”
“You have difficulty understanding what’s real and what isn’t?”
Her smile deepened. “Never.”
Sebastian lifted his eyebrows, and she laughed. This time his stomach twisted, and lower, in a place that had no business doing so anywhere near a patient, he leaped.
He stood so fast he bumped into Mary and had to grab her before she landed on her ass. “Sorry.”
She gave him a look like his mother always used to whenever he’d thought something he shouldn’t. Mothers were like that. Then she took his place on the bed next to Willow.
“Run along, doc. She’ll be fine now.”
“Doc?” Willow repeated.
“Sebastian Frasier,” he said. “I’m replacing Dr. Eversleigh.”
“Shiny new paper pusher,” Mary muttered.
“Among other things.” In a small place like this, the administrator also treated patients, just not as many as the rest of the doctors. It was one of the reasons he’d accepted this position over the others he’d been offered. Sebastian liked being a practicing psychiatrist. He also liked being the boss.
His superior, Dr. Janet Tronsted, was in charge of state health services. When she’d appointed him the administrator of this facility she’d said, “You’re in charge. Unless there’s a problem, you won’t be seeing me.” Then she’d peered at him over the top of her vintage cat’s-eye reading glasses. “You do not want to see me.”
As this Janet reminded him of another Janet—Janet Reno: same haircut, same biceps, same build—he had to agree. Her reputation preceded her. She was hands-off as long as you did your job. If you didn’t, her hands would be around your throat—figuratively, he hoped—and they’d definitely be all over your record, and you’d be lucky to get another job anywhere. Ever.
Smoke on the Water Page 1
