by Marta Perry
“Well, the ex-husband is still the most likely suspect.” And he was keeping Billy as a possibility, but he knew better than to say that to Deidre. “That’s why Carmichaels has got to find him.”
“I can’t go on living like this indefinitely—always waiting for something to happen, listening for the other shoe to drop.” Her face twisted as she struggled to hold on to her emotions.
He took her hands again, wanting to comfort her but not sure how. “You won’t have to. Something is going to break soon, I know it. If he’d left well enough alone and walked away once Dixie was dead, they might never have caught him. But now he’s making mistakes.”
“Like shooting at us.” Deidre grimaced. “It felt a lot worse than a mistake.”
“You know what I mean.” He put his arm around her, and she turned into his embrace so naturally that he wondered why he hadn’t done it sooner. “He’s panicking. Yes, that’s dangerous, but it means he’ll give himself away.” He smoothed his hand down the curve of her back. “You have a lot of people trying to look out for you. You know that.”
She nodded, and he felt the movement against his shoulder, felt her silky hair brush his cheek. “I know,” she murmured. “I trust you. I’m just worried about Kevin. How do I protect him? How do I keep him from being affected by all this?”
“You just go on the way you are.” He cradled her cheek in his hand, meeting her troubled gaze. “You’re a strong woman. As long as Kevin has you, he’ll be fine.”
He lowered his face to kiss her, but even as he did, her words kept replaying in his mind. I trust you. And when she knew that Judge Morris had used him to investigate her, what then?
He should be honest with her. He was back in the same quandary again. If he told her, she’d be angry. She’d push him away, and then who would be here to protect her? And if he didn’t tell her, she’d still find out eventually, and she’d hate him forever.
There wasn’t really a choice. For one of the few times in his life, he was putting someone else’s needs ahead of his own, no matter the cost.
* * *
DESPITE THE FEAR that clung relentlessly, Deidre couldn’t help being amused by the way Jason reacted to Judith and Eli’s insistence that he stay to supper. He had clearly never had a friendship with an Amish person before, and his usual calm self-assurance was dented.
“Don’t worry,” she murmured under cover of the clatter as the children trooped to the long table in the middle of the farmhouse kitchen. “Amish eat just like everybody else. And Judith’s a great cook.”
“I already know that.” He leaned over her as he pulled out her chair, and his whisper tickled her ear. “I’d rather not embarrass myself, though.”
She gave him a reassuring smile as Kevin claimed his attention.
“Sit next to me, okay?” He tugged on Jason’s hand, pulling him to the seat between himself and his mother.
“Sure thing, Kev.” Jason’s hand rested on her son’s shoulder for a moment, and Deidre’s heart clenched at the expression on Kev’s face as he looked up at Jason.
Once they were all seated, Deidre reached over to touch Jason’s hand in silent communication, glancing at Eli. Eli bowed his head for the silent prayer with which the Amish started every meal.
A mystery to outsiders was knowing when to raise their heads again. Long experience had taught Deidre that repeating the Lord’s Prayer silently provided just about the proper length of time. When she looked up again, Jason gave her a quick smile.
Serving bowls began to circle the table with bewildering speed, and the usual chatter broke out, but in English rather than Pennsylvania Dutch, in deference to their guests. Eli and Judith’s children were alike in their blond hair, blue eyes, ruddy faces and exuberant personalities. Benjamin was the quietest, and Deidre had always thought it was because he couldn’t get a word in edgewise with his four older siblings talking so much. At least the baby didn’t talk too much yet.
Joining in a lively conversation about whether fifteen-year-old Becky, the eldest, should make a pink dress or a green one for summer, Deidre shot a glance at Jason, to find him watching her with a bemused expression.
Eli leaned toward him, his lean, weathered face creasing in a smile. “Ach, how females can get so excited about the color of a dress is beyond understanding, ain’t so?”
Jason looked grateful. “I can’t say I know much about sewing dresses. I understand you have a dairy herd. Must keep you tied down, doesn’t it?”
“Chust as well,” Eli said. “Keeps the boys occupied, working with me. Farming is the best life for an Amish family, but not everyone can make a living that way.”
Did Jason get a glimmer of how the Amish felt about the land? She suspected not. The attitude was familiar to her, having grown up here. To the Amish, tending the land was as close to God as one could get on earth. Eli would be devastated if his boys didn’t want to keep working on the farm after him, but she didn’t think he needed to worry about that. The three boys took to dairy farming like a duck to water, and they all showed a sense of responsibility beyond their years.
Becky claimed her attention then with a plea for her opinion on the projected dress, and she found herself occupied with the two girls and Judith for the remainder of the meal.
She tried to get up and help clear the table, but Judith waved her back into her chair. “The girls will do that. You relax. You’ve had a trying day, ain’t so?”
Jason leaned over with a smile. “You’ll take good care of her tonight, I know.”
“We will.” Judith’s usually serene face grew somber. “All this trouble...it is not what we’re used to here in Echo Falls.”
Eli, rounding the table, put a hand on her shoulder. “Troubles come in different shapes, that’s all. This will pass, like all the rest.” His glance took in his sons and included Kevin. “Komm, boys. There are chores to be done.”
Kevin looked gratified to be included, and he jumped from his seat and scurried to the door with Benjamin. Once they’d gone out, only the clink of dishes and the girls’ soft chatter in Pennsylvania Dutch sounded.
Jason rose. “Wonderful meal, Judith. Thank you.” He held out his hand to Deidre. “I should get going. Walk out with me?”
Nodding, she took his hand and slipped outside with him. The sun had just dipped below the ridge, and dusk was settling into the valley. Jason had parked the car behind a huge fir tree where it was invisible from the road. He’d seemed confident that no one had been following to see where they went when they left the house.
Still, he stood for a long moment, surveying the surrounding landscape.
“I’m sure no one realizes I’m here. If I didn’t believe that, I wouldn’t stay. I don’t want to bring danger to Judith and Eli’s family.”
“You’re right.” He faced her, his palm moving down her arm until he clasped her wrist. “This situation just has me jumpy. I’d like to clap you in an anonymous safe house until it’s settled.”
“Or a jail cell?” She managed a light tone. “I can’t live my life that way. It’s important to keep things as normal as possible for Kevin.”
“And as safe as possible for both of you,” he added. He frowned, looking down at their clasped hands. “I don’t like leaving you.”
“We’ll be fine here. Really.” Odd to find herself reassuring him. Usually it was the other way around. “I just wish I felt this safe in my own house.”
“You will.” His grasp tightened. “You and Kev deserve that, and you’re going to have it. Believe me.”
The sudden yearning in his eyes startled her. She’d never seen him look quite like that before.
“I believe you. Don’t worry so. I know we can trust you.”
Jason seemed to wince at her words. “I’m glad. Especially when there’s a whole community of people who think
I can’t be trusted.”
“I...I don’t understand.” Deidre looked into his face, shaken by the intensity behind the words. “Who thinks that?”
He shrugged, seeming to retreat behind his usual facade. “Never mind. It’s a long story.”
Deidre glanced around. They had as much privacy here, sheltered by the fir tree and the car, as they would anywhere. “I have time. Tell me.” It seemed suddenly to be a measure of their relationship. If they were as close as she thought, he would confide in her.
Jason turned toward the car, letting go of her hands. But before her disappointment could grow, she realized he wasn’t opening the door. Instead he braced both hands against it, as if he’d push the whole car over.
“Haven’t you ever wondered why I gave up my job in Philadelphia and came here?”
“To the middle of nowhere?” She tried to lighten the moment. “I suppose I thought that you’d become tired of the pressure and wanted a simpler life.”
“Not a chance. At least not then.” He gave her a wry smile. “Now...well, now I might feel that way. But back then all I wanted was success.”
She tried to remember what she’d heard about his life in Philadelphia. “You were with the prosecutor’s office, weren’t you?”
“Prosecuting white-collar financial crimes—that was my specialty. The last case I worked on was the most important that had ever come my way. We—Leslie and I—thought it was a ticket to the big time. If I’d won that case, I could have walked away from the prosecutor’s office and joined any high-profile firm I wanted.”
Her mind had gotten stuck on the name. “Leslie?”
“Leslie was my fiancée.” His hands tightened into fists.
“Was?”
“Yes.” He shot a glance at her. “Whatever I felt for Leslie is as dead as...as yesterday’s news. Believe me. After what she did...”
The words trailed off, and she sensed that it was almost impossible for him to go on. But he couldn’t stop now—they couldn’t stop. Not until she knew the whole story.
She put her hand on his arm, feeling the taut muscles through the fabric of his shirt. Who was she? How did you meet? What was she like? She silenced all the questions that pressed at her lips and asked the only important one.
“What did she do?”
“She betrayed me.” His voice was harsh. The betrayal still had the power to infuriate him, obviously.
She waited, knowing there was more and sure now that he would tell her.
“Leslie was interested in my case. Natural, I thought. She was an attorney, too. I was stupid. I shared information I shouldn’t have with her. Chalk it up to insecurity—I wanted to know if she thought I was on the right track.”
“You were engaged. You should have been able to share anything.” Deidre could see what was coming, and her heart winced at the thought of hearing it.
“She wanted to encourage me, she said. I was going to win. She kept on saying it right up until the moment I walked into the office and found out the whole case had been shot to blazes. The company in question had learned details of the investigation they never should have known. The people I’d cultivated who were willing to testify were suddenly unavailable or had changed their minds. The DA was furious, knowing the leak had to have come from our office. And I was the person who had access.”
Deidre’s mind spun. “But...did you realize...”
“That it was Leslie?” His jaw was so hard it was a wonder he could speak. “Oh, yes. She didn’t even bother to hide it. She just walked away and stepped into the position they’d obviously promised her, and I was left holding the bag.”
Deidre longed to put her arms around him, to hold him close and comfort him, but nothing about his taut figure suggested that would be welcome. She contented herself with stroking his back, the tendons tight as guitar strings.
“You weren’t disbarred.” Obviously not, or he wouldn’t be practicing now.
“No. I’m not sure anyone believed me, but the DA was decent about it when he’d calmed down. There was enough doubt about who’d done what to keep him from pushing for disbarment. But I lost my job. And my reputation.”
Her heart hurt at the picture he’d painted. “But you must have had friends. People who believed in you.”
“Funny thing.” He clipped off the words. “I thought I had friends right up until everything hit the fan. Then I realized that all of them were people I knew through work. I’d been so busy trying to make a name for myself that I hadn’t taken time for anything else. Pitiful, isn’t it?”
The bitterness in his voice ran deep. He might think he’d gotten over it, but clearly he hadn’t.
“I’m sorry. But that person you’re talking about—ambitious, thinking of nothing but success—he doesn’t sound like the man I know.”
Jason was silent for a moment. And then he smiled, his face relaxing. “I hope that’s true. If so, I’m glad.”
The warmth of his smile, the strength of his back under her hand, his closeness, all combined to flow around her in a dizzying eddy that drew her ever closer.
She struggled to stay focused. “But I don’t understand how you ended up here.”
“Judge Morris.” His gaze shifted away, and he seemed to close up just a little. “He contacted me. Said he remembered me from when I was in law school with Frank. He must have known how bad things were for me, but he never mentioned that. He just said he had an opening in his firm now that Frank had passed away, and he thought Frank would have been pleased to know he’d offered it to me.”
“I’m sure he would have.”
“We were never close friends. You probably know that.”
“Frank wasn’t in touch very much the first couple of years in law school. It was only when he came back that summer that we actually got together.”
She smiled, remembering Frank looking at her as if he hadn’t ever really looked before. Maybe he hadn’t. She’d always been his friend, and then suddenly she’d become someone he loved.
“Yes, well, whatever his reason, I was in no state to turn down the judge’s offer. I figured if I came here even for a few years, built up a reputation again, I’d be in a position to start fresh. Not in Philly, but somewhere else.” He gave her a crooked smile. “I’m not so eager to get out of Echo Falls now, obviously.”
Deidre reached up to touch his face, longing to wipe away any pain that lingered there but needing to hear the answer to one more question. “What happened to Leslie?”
He pressed her palm against his cheek. “Last I heard she was happily enjoying the fruits of her new position as chief counsel to one of the most bent firms I’ve ever run across. And engaged to the firm’s CFO. So if you were hoping to hear she’d come by her just deserts, there’s no such luck.”
“It will catch up to her one day. You can’t prosper living a lie that’s based on betrayal and not end up being stung yourself.”
“Yes.” His face sobered. He looked down at the hand he was holding and pressed a kiss into her palm. “Promise me...”
“What?” She looked at him questioningly.
He seemed to struggle with himself, and then he shook his head. “Promise me you’ll take precautions and stay safe. You and Kevin both. No taking risks the minute my back is turned.”
Deidre had the strong impression that wasn’t what he’d intended to say. But he was looking at her so intently that all she could do was nod in agreement.
“All right. I promise. But I want the same promise from you. Don’t go off chasing Mike Hanlon or anyone else alone. Promise.”
He nodded, smiling a little, and then took a quick look around. “Any chance I can get a good-night kiss?”
“If you do it quickly. I don’t want Eli and the boys to come out of the barn and catch us at it.”
; He linked his arms around her, holding her easily. “Don’t the Amish go in for kissing?”
“They do, but not where kids can see them. That’s reserved for the courting buggy.”
He grinned. “Since I don’t have a courting buggy, I’ll have to make do with standing next to the car.”
Deidre lifted her face toward his, loving the scent of him, the warmth of his skin and the slight roughness of his cheek. His lips closed on hers, and she held on tight, longing with all her heart that nothing would happen to tear them apart.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
BY THE TIME she took Kevin to the pediatrician’s office the next afternoon, Deidre felt as if she’d recovered her balance. There was nothing like a good night’s sleep and a sunny day to restore her.
Her good spirits had been dented a little by a visit from Chief Carmichaels soon after she’d returned to her own house this morning. She’d been relieved in a way that no one had come near her place the previous night, but a little dismayed, too. If someone had, this might all have been over by now.
But Carmichaels had been pleased on one score. The gun had been recovered. It had been a high-powered hunting rifle that had been taken from one of the hunting cabins. They’d been in touch with the owner, who of course hadn’t even known the cabin had been broken into.
His description of the rifle had been enough to make Carmichaels sure that it was the gun his men had recovered from the stream a mile below the falls. Unfortunately, there was nothing to show who had fired it. It was so banged up it probably had gone over the falls.
As good a way as any to get rid of potentially damaging evidence, she supposed. Carmichaels had halfheartedly postulated a teen high on drugs stealing the gun and firing it off at random, but she’d been sure by his expression that even he didn’t believe that.
Deidre drew herself up short. She’d better get back her optimism before Kev realized something was wrong with her.
Kevin, however, was pouting on his own account. He didn’t see any good reason why he had to go to the doctor’s office.
