by Traci DePree
Valerie’s eyes crinkled in a smile. “We could work in the same hospital.”
“Absolutely,” Marissa agreed, then asked, “Do you like to sail?”
“I haven’t been much, but I do like the water. I go whitewater kayaking with my friends whenever I get the chance. I don’t own one or anything, but my boyfriend has a few, so we do that once in a while. There are some great rivers for kayaking in Tennessee.”
“That sounds awesome,” Marissa said, her gaze far away. “I’d love to get back out on the water again...”
Valerie touched her shoulder, drawing Marissa back.
Seeing the gesture, Kate choked up. These girls had missed so much by not being together, by not having shared their childhoods. Kate glanced at Patricia, who had tears streaming down her cheeks.
Just then a nurse came in with a tray of food for Marissa—a boiled dinner of potatoes, carrots, some sort of bland meat, and a cup of milk.
“I should have brought you a fried peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich,” Valerie said as she squinted at the boring-looking meal.
“Peanut butter and banana was one of Elvis’s favorites.”
Valerie nodded knowingly.
“Oh my goodness! You’re an Elvis fan?” Marissa practically shouted.
Valerie nodded again. “Kate told me you are too.” Then she added, “I’ll have to take you to the Sun Studio Café in Memphis. They have them on the menu there.”
“That’s near where Elvis made his first recording as a birthday present for his mother, right?”
“Next door.”
Filled with amazement, Marissa’s eyes flew to her mother, then back to Valerie. “You’ll have to come see my room,” Marissa went on. “It’s wall-to-wall Elvis. I’ve been collecting since...I can’t even remember when.”
Valerie was intent on Marissa, and in many ways, Kate was grateful for that. She knew Marissa was safe for Valerie. After all, her sister hadn’t caused any of the pain in Valerie’s life.
After the girls had had a while to talk and Marissa began to grow sleepy, Kate suggested they head out for a bite to eat. “No!” Marissa protested, “I want to hear everything!” But the exhausted look on her face said she needed rest.
Patricia leaned over and touched a gloved hand to her daughter’s forehead, even as Marissa’s eyes drooped shut. “I’ll take notes and tell you everything that we say later, okay? You get your sleep.”
“We’ll come back to talk some more,” Valerie promised. Mary nodded in agreement.
Finally Marissa acquiesced. Her eyes closed, and the soft breath of sleep overtook her.
The four of them crept from her room and agreed to meet at the Bristol, the new restaurant at the Hamilton Springs Hotel just east of downtown Copper Mill.
Valerie and Mary rode with Kate, and the trip was painfully quiet. Kate knew this would be the most difficult part of this day, when birth mother and daughter finally had the chance to talk. She’d sensed it in Patricia, the way her body stiffened and her glance kept shifting to Valerie when Kate had mentioned going out to eat. She sent up a prayer for both of them and pulled into the pine-tree-lined lot next to the Hamilton Springs Hotel. Formerly the Copper Creek Hotel, the historic building had recently been renovated after years of disrepair. Patricia’s car pulled in behind them alongside the two-story building. They climbed out and made their way to the hotel.
Wide double doors opened onto a stunning, massive foyer with double staircases that wound their way up to the floor above. The room was a warm honey tone, with a blazing fireplace in its center and mounted deer and elk trophies on the polished wood walls. The floors shone from years of visitors coming and going, and thick beams lifted toward the ceiling. Woven Indian rugs gave the room definition, with seating groups placed around them throughout the space.
Kate led them to the Bristol, which was to the left of the foyer, a sunny room with banks of divided windows on three sides. The waitstaff bustled between tables, and a gentleman wearing an expensive-looking suit showed them to a table overlooking a pond. Sensing her friend would need a boost of encouragement, Kate moved alongside Patricia and took the chair to her right.
“My house is on this road,” Patricia told Valerie and Mary as she pointed toward the woods to the west. “On the other side of town. I’ll have to show you Marissa’s Elvis collection.”
“Maybe...” Valerie said tentatively.
Kate could see the doubt her response caused in Patricia, who fingered the tablecloth awkwardly.
“I mean,” Valerie went on, “I’d hate to take away from Marissa the joy of showing it to me herself.”
“Oh...of course,” Patricia said. She breathed, catching Kate’s eye, and attempted to smile.
The waitress appeared to tell them about the daily specials and to hand out menus. They stared quietly at the tall laminated sheets for several long minutes before the waitress returned to take their orders. When she scooted off to the next table, Mary took a deep breath and said, “I know this can’t be easy for you, Patricia.” Her gaze shifted to her daughter. “It’s not for us, either. In so many ways, I wish we’d always known you.”
Patricia’s eyes widened. “But it was a closed adoption...”
“That was our mistake,” Mary said. She touched Valerie’s hand that rested on the table between them. “I think it would’ve been healthier for Valerie if she’d grown up knowing you and Marissa, instead of always wondering, having that mystery hanging over her head.”
Valerie raised her head, a tremulous smile on her lips.
“Because I didn’t know who my birth parents were or the circumstances around my adoption,” Valerie began, “I made up a fantasy about you.” Her face turned a deep shade of red.
“That’s normal,” Kate said.
“I always wondered why—that was my biggest question. Why?” Valerie looked at Patricia.
The anger and hurt in her face made Kate cringe. She sent up a prayer for Patricia, that she would be able to speak truthfully without breaking down.
Kate touched her arm, and Patricia gave her a quick smile of acknowledgment.
“I can’t make things right for you, Valerie,” she began. “I wish I could. I’d redo everything, but I made the best choice I could at the time. My options weren’t great.” She inhaled a ragged breath. “When my parents found out I was pregnant with you and Marissa, they disowned me. Till the day they died, they washed their hands of me, even after everything seemed okay.”
Valerie crossed her arms over her chest, but Patricia went on, “That left me with few options. I was eighteen, just out of high school. I had no way of getting a good-paying job, though I tried to keep you and Marissa together.”
Tears streamed down Valerie’s face.
“I wanted you and Marissa to be together. You need to know that.” She lifted her head to the ceiling. “I couldn’t come back to Copper Mill; small towns are hard places to be a single mom anyway—at least in the eighties they were. Still are, I’m sure. I wasn’t keeping up on my rent, not with the cost of day care for two babies. And there weren’t any subsidized apartments available in Chattanooga at the time...I was afraid the county would end up taking both of you. I couldn’t bear that.”
“So, why me and not Marissa?” Valerie swiped at her eyes, and Mary reached for her hand on the table.
“Marissa asked the same thing,” Patricia said. She inhaled, then looked Valerie in the eyes. “You were smaller, frail. I knew an adoptive family had more resources than I had to make sure you were healthy, and loved—” Her voice broke, and she lowered her head to cry.
Kate patted her back, and Mary offered a look of empathy. They sat in awkward silence while Patricia cried and dabbed at her cheeks with a tissue from her purse.
“You gave me the greatest gift of my life,” Mary finally said, her gaze firmly on Patricia. “The ability to be a mother.” She squeezed Valerie’s hand. “My husband and I had tried so long to have kids, but we just couldn’t. Then we
finally chose adoption...” She too dabbed at her face with a tissue. “You can’t imagine what a miracle that was for us, to finally be parents and to have this beautiful child to raise. I’ve counted it a privilege every day for the past twenty-two years, and I’m so grateful. I know it was hard for you to let her go, and I appreciate that.” Then she turned to her daughter. “And I know you’ve struggled too, Val, but I love you, and I’m glad you’re my daughter.”
By the time the food came, they were one big sobbing mess. Mascara streaked their cheeks, and used tissues dotted the table. The waitress looked at them curiously, but no one offered an explanation. Patricia gave Kate’s arm a squeeze, and the women exchanged glances. But Kate knew what she meant by the gesture—she’d found the forgiveness she’d been seeking. It had been there all along, but she’d finally taken hold of it.
Chapter Twenty
The next day, as Marissa and Valerie worked on a Sudoku puzzle together, and Kate, Patricia, and Mary looked at old photos of the girls, the news they’d been waiting for finally came. Dr. McLaughlin pushed open the door and entered the room. His blue eyes were somber, which gave Kate an uneasy feeling.
“I...uh...” He cleared his throat. “I have some news.” He turned toward Marissa, whose expression was hopeful. “The test results from the marrow match are in.” He shifted his gaze to Valerie. “You’re not a match.”
Valerie gasped.
“I thought since they were twins—” Kate began.
“The odds were good,” Dr. McLaughlin reassured, “especially since they’re twins.”
“But we’re not identical,” Marissa guessed.
The doctor nodded. “That would’ve been a sure match. As siblings, you had about a thirty percent likelihood of matching.”
Kate looked at the shocked expressions around her.
“We’d put so much hope in Valerie being a match,” Patricia said slowly. “I...I don’t even know what to do now.”
Marissa began to shake. Valerie reached her arms around her and held her. The doctor offered his sympathies and reminded them that there were still other options before quietly turning to leave. Everyone sat in stunned silence as they absorbed the news. Finally Marissa leaned back against her pillow. Her eyes were ringed in red, and her skin was blotchy. Kate handed her a tissue, and she dabbed at her face.
“I’d been hoping,” Marissa said.
“We all were,” Valerie said, her eyes welling with fresh tears.
BY THE NEXT DAY, Marissa seemed to have already slipped another notch. Her eyes were dull, a blank, empty look. When Kate, Valerie, and Mary came to say good-bye, she barely lifted her head from the pillow. Patricia sat next to her bed, poised, as if at any moment she would be gone.
“It’s not right,” Valerie whispered to Kate and her mother at the far end of the hospital room. “I can’t leave her like this. I told you this would happen,” she said to her mother. “My heart is breaking in two.”
Mary cupped Valerie’s face in her hands. “But you’re not alone, honey.” She sighed and glanced over at Marissa, whose gaze was fixed on the windows. “You have school, and I have work,” Mary whispered. “What else can we do?”
“I’m coming back,” Valerie insisted as she glanced at Marissa. “I’ll drive back this weekend.”
“It’s already Wednesday,” Kate reminded her gently. “You’d just be turning around once you got home.”
“Then I’ll move here,” Valerie said. “I can transfer to Chattanooga, get my nursing degree there.”
Mary patted her daughter’s hand, her expression serious. “We can talk about that,” she said. “I don’t want you to move across the state from me, but I do understand. Let’s talk on the drive back.”
Valerie finally nodded. Then she turned with a sigh and moved to Marissa’s bedside. “We’ve...got to get going,” she said. “I don’t want to go, but I have to. Mom has to. I promise I’ll be back, okay?”
Marissa nodded.
The sisters held each other for a few moments, both with closed eyes. “I’ll be okay,” Marissa said, though they all knew that wasn’t so.
They wrote down their e-mail addresses and promised to write daily until Valerie’s return, with Patricia promising to courier the messages between home and the hospital.
Then Kate and Patricia walked Valerie and Mary out to the parking lot. The sound of their shoes clicking on the tile corridor filled the silence between them.
When they reached the car, Valerie hesitated, then turned to Kate. “You’ve done so much,” she said, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know how to thank you.” Her dark eyes reflected her gratitude.
“That’s thanks enough.” Kate reached out to give the girl a hug.
Then Mary reached for Patricia. “We’ll keep in touch,” she said, patting her back.
“Absolutely,” Patricia said. She looked so fragile, Kate thought she would break apart at any moment.
Patricia’s gaze turned to Valerie. They paused in awk-wardness, then Patricia said, “Valerie, I’m so honored...” Her words trailed off. “I wish we’d met under different circumstances...”
Kate knew the two still had much to work out in their relationship, yet they’d taken a huge step. That was more than they’d done in the past twenty-two years.
Valerie moved to her birth mother’s side and reached for her hands. “I’m glad I met you too...I am.”
Then Mary and Valerie climbed into the small celery green economy car. Mary turned the key, bringing the vehicle to life, and with a wave, they pulled out of the parking lot and disappeared down the street.
Patricia took a heavy breath, then looked at Kate.
“Are you okay?” Kate asked.
“I’m stronger than I thought I was,” Patricia admitted.
“She’s a nice girl.” Kate’s gaze turned toward the street. She watched the cars pass by and tried to think of something better to say.
“That was her mother and father’s doing,” Patricia said.
Kate simply patted her shoulder, and they turned to walk back into the hospital.
WHEN KATE AND PATRICIA made their way back inside, something seemed different. There was a hubbub at the nurses’ station. Immediately both women looked at each other, then hurried toward Marissa’s room.
Marissa was where they’d left her, but a tall spidery-thin nurse was checking her vitals.
“Is something wrong?” Patricia asked.
The nurse finished whatever it was she’d been doing, then turned to face Patricia. “Nothing’s wrong,” she said. “They’ve found a marrow donor for your daughter.”
Perhaps it was the unadorned way she communicated the news or that it was simply too good to be true, but whatever the case, Kate couldn’t believe her ears. “What?” She closed her mouth, then opened it again, trying to form coherent words. “Who?”
“I know him,” Marissa said from the other side of the tall woman. “It’s a guy I went to high school with—Jack Wilson.” She smiled. “He asked me out once.”
“Jack Wilson?” Kate frowned. “Why is that name familiar to me?” Then it dawned on her. Jack was the man who’d been suing for custody of his dog. She immediately picked up her cell phone and dialed Paul at the church.
On the second ring, Paul’s secretary, Millie, answered. “Faith Briar.”
“Hello, Millie, is Paul there?”
“Who is this?” the aged secretary asked in her raspy voice.
“It’s me. Kate. His wife?”
“Oh.” She cleared her throat. Then there was a clicking sound, and the phone rang again.
This time Paul answered. “Faith Briar Church. This is Paul Hanlon.”
“It’s me, Paul. You know, you really need to help that woman with her people skills,” Kate said.
“Millie? I know. I think that’s my main job here. What’s up?”
“Did you know that Jack Wilson was tested?”
“You mean for Marissa?”
“Yes, fo
r Marissa.” Kate’s tone rose with her excitement.
“No...but I guess I did tell him and Carl about her the last time we were together, after visiting their dad. Why?”
“He’s a match!” She was practically shouting, but she didn’t care. “He’s the one we’ve been looking for.”
“Wow,” Paul said softly. “I didn’t see that one coming.” He laughed. “When will the transplant take place?”
“I don’t know yet, but tell him thank you if you see him. And honey, thank you too. I have no doubt that your wise counsel helped all of this come about.”
“It wasn’t me,” Paul said matter-of-factly. “God gets the credit.”
“THIS IS THE ANSWER to our prayers,” Marissa said weakly.
Kate nodded and smiled at the frail young woman laying on the gurney. Just two days ago, on Wednesday, they had thought all hope was lost. Then God had sent them a donor. Since then, life had shifted into hyperdrive. The previous day they had transferred Marissa to the larger hospital in Chattanooga to begin preparing her for the transplant, and now Marissa was about to be wheeled down the hallway to the ICU. There she’d be kept under complete sedation while she underwent two intensive days of chemotherapy and radiation. Nurses had constantly been at her side to check for infection and monitor her status.
These latest treatments were much more intensive than any treatment she’d had before. In her prior chemo, they’d only been killing cancer cells. In this treatment, they would be killing not only those pernicious cells but Marissa’s very bone marrow as well. Her ability to produce blood at all would be gone, if not for the donor. If something happened to him in the meantime, she would be dead. Kate realized that death was a very real possibility for Marissa no matter what. Many leukemia patients died before they ever received their transplant.
When the procedure was done, she would not only assume Jack’s blood type, if it was different than hers, but she’d also take on any of his allergies and antibodies and lose any she’d had prior to the procedure. In effect, the procedure was much more than a simple transfusion. This was no coming together; this was a complete blood transformation. The old would be completely dead. And if it went as planned, a new Marissa would rise.
