by Leela Ash
2
Jessa took a few minutes to watch the sunrise from the small apartment building’s window. There was a small balcony off of the sliding glass door, but they were too close to the city to actually step out on it. They couldn’t risk being spotted. She looked into the ruined town and felt a familiar sense of dread. Towns were dangerous places these days. Cities were worse. Jessa ran through her plan and questioned her tactics. They were alone on the outskirts of a place they shouldn’t be, but she had decided that it couldn’t be avoided.
The woman and her son had been holed up in the apartment building for two days now. She was stalling because she knew the decision to go straight through it was incredibly risky. She had been watching the city the entire time, scouting to find the best path and the best time to make the trip. She had left her son, Shane alone on two occasions for a few quick night recon trips. He was only five but had had to grow up twice as fast. It was clear that he was doing his best to pull his own weight and be strong, but in truth he was still just a young child. She could only learn so much without putting herself, or her son, at even greater risk. It was a mile through the mid-sized city or over forty to go around it considering the topography.
Scanning from the window, her eyes fell from the pink and orange hues of the new day’s sky, to the dark burnt out grays and browns of the gritty city below. It wasn’t even a city anymore really. It was just a series of burned out buildings and rubble. This was one of the cities hit by a nuclear device and what life was left looked a lot less like it should. The radiation had subsided over the years, but the mutations had taken hold and multiplied. Jessa had seen the packs of beasts herself. Their ancestors had probably been named “Fluffy” and “Spot”. Now they ran the destroyed city, like a disorganized pack of watchdogs – or watchcats- in a giant junkyard.
There appeared to be very little human activity, though she did see several lights on in the tops of some of the buildings that survived far enough away from the epicenter. Most people, if there were any here, were wise enough to stay in the shadows. What people she could detect had gone to the heights like she had. It just seemed safer with these creatures running around. This world’s version of an alley cat was the stuff of nightmares. She wondered if the people she saw – the lights at least - in the tall buildings were up that high for protection or a better view. Maybe they were one in the same, she realized. Either way, there were several issues to consider. Jessa was feeling anxious to move forward. The path she had mapped out in her mind was hardly ideal.
Looking back at her sleeping son, she wondered if it wouldn’t be better to just go around after all. There was no guarantee that traveling around would be any safer though either. God, this world sucked, she thought, half joking with herself to ease the tension. The only guarantee that she had was that it would be longer and instead of an hour or so, it would take several days.
Not for the first time, she said to the empty room, “Why did you leave him?”
The question came out as a whisper, as it was more in her head than on her lips. But she still did not have an answer. She had been asking herself this question to one degree or another ever since that morning when they slipped off. As a matter of fact, if she was honest with herself, she had been asking herself that question even before they took off on him. Of course then it was “Why are you going to leave him?” It just seemed to be in her nature now. This new reality demanded it. But she knew that she would have felt safer if Michael was with her.
No, she corrected herself, she would have been safer in reality if he were with her. She knew that. She still felt his touch when she laid down to sleep at night. Granted, she didn’t sleep much anymore, but when she did she remembered the feel of him beside her. Jessa only got a few hours’ sleep at a time now, and usually only in the daytime, when it was too risky to travel. She still had not fully adapted to the city ways, but it seemed like the opposite held true here. The nights were full of roaming animals, and the days, especially the early mornings, were calm and quiet.
A new plan formulated while she went into the kitchen and got a few plates down from the cabinet in her new kitchen. Vaguely she wondered if the woman of the house had picked out the plates herself, or if they had been a wedding present. They were nice blue glass. There was no food or useful items in the apartment that she could take with them, but there were these nice dishes. She liked the idea of eating in a civilized manner, even if just for a few minutes, on real glass plates. They had been on their own for a couple of weeks by then and while by old standards they were on the precipice of hell of earth, it was actually the most comfortable set up they had had since leaving the community. Shane was sleeping on an actual bed and she had a great view. She closed her eyes for a minute and allowed herself the luxury of pretending for a minute that it was the old days, and that if she opened her eyes she would see the beautiful bustling city below her. Of course when she did open her eyes, all she saw was the dead husk of civilization sprawled out below them.
“Good morning. It’s time to wake up sleepy head.”
“Why?”
“Because tomorrow we are going to be leaving early, so we need to get used to being up and ready to go.”
Shane nodded and got up dutifully, although his face was still a little grumpy. He most definitely did not like to be up early. He was more of a night person like his father had been.
“I’m hungry.”
“You always are,” she said with a wink. “Breakfast is on the table.”
Shane made a disparaging noise and sat down to the same food they had been eating since they got there.
“Why can’t we go find some fruit or something?”
“I don’t trust the food here. I am afraid it could make us sick. In fact the sooner we get away from the city the better.” She had heard stories about people who lived in the cities, and she didn’t want to take any chances.
“Oh. OK.”
Shane didn’t understand what it meant, but he knew that he was going to be eating more of the dried cakes until they got away from there.
“When are we leaving?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
“Good. I like this place. It’s different. And it’s cool to be up so high, but still, I would rather be able to go outside.”
“Me too. We are going to go through the city, so it might be a little scary, ok.”
He shook his head, though she didn’t think he really grasped how scary it might get. He looked at her with a trust that she hoped she had earned. She had had a sinking feeling in her gut ever since they had come upon the city, but she didn’t want to let him know that she felt so nervous.
“It’ll be fine. When we go all you have to do is stay close and be really quiet. Everything sleeps in the early morning, so we just need to make sure that we don’t wake them up.”
Shane nodded his head, but with just a hint less certainty, she thought. He seemed to know it might be better not to ask too many questions about whatever “things” she was talking about.
“Now eat up. We need to go through this place and see if there is anything useful we can take with us. I saw some comic books in the back bedroom. Did you see them?”
Shane brightened, as did Jessa. Ah, the power of a comic book to a boy’s happiness, she thought to herself. At least that hadn’t changed. The rest of the day went pretty smoothly and they were both tired by the time the sun started to go down. Jessa lay down with him until he fell asleep and then she went to the window to look out into the city again. As her eyes went to the few lights she had noticed in evenings past, she couldn’t decide if they represented a beacon of hope or a warning. They would just have to find out.
3
Michael passed through the city one last time before the sun went down. He had settled on taking shelter in one of the larger office buildings that had been right outside the blast zone from so many years before. He had kept up with the woman’s trail, even as it drew him closer and closer toward some un
named city that had appeared on the horizon. Along the windswept and often overgrown roads it had been relatively easy to follow her trail, but as the concrete closed in on all sides he had lost it.
His heart had sank as he had followed the trail closer and closer toward the danger of the city, but at least he had had a trail to follow. But now, with no trail and no sign of her, his worry had reached a peak. It seemed she had just vanished. Maybe that was good, he thought. She might be keeping a low profile. Besides, she could protect herself, after all. He had seen that first hand when she finished off that guy that had attacked her in the woods. She could definitely take care of herself. But still, this was all conjecture at this point. He hoped for the best, but until he could find her – and her son – she would have no idea, for sure, if they were alive or dead. His gut told him to stay near the city and that she would eventually show herself.
That assurance was what kept him going. Some guys might have gotten the hint after a woman ran out of them not just once, but twice, but he was a little more hard headed than most men. Besides, regardless of what she had done, he was not ready to give up on Jessa yet. He could still close his eyes and almost smell her hair, and could practically feel what it had felt like to hold her. He knew in his heart that despite whatever games she was playing on the outside, she did care for him deep down. She was just of those woman than ran away from that kind of loving, rather than running toward it. She would come around. At least he hoped she would, if he didn’t lose patience first, that is. He had to remind himself that the first order of business was tracking her down again.
Michael had come across a few people in the last two weeks, but he had remained out of sight and left them to their own devices. There was always a certain amount of risk in making contact with people these days, and in this situation he decided the risk was not worth the potential reward. There was no way she would have allowed herself to be seen by anyone anyhow. By apocalyptic wasteland standards, the city was virtually teeming with people, but they hid likes rats in the walls. And by teeming he estimated the whole place might have a few hundred people eking out an existence here amongst the ruins. Nature had moved in pretty quickly, so that here and there trees had even taken root in the smallest patches of dirt and cracked pavement. The animals had moved in when man was bombed out. Virtually anything you could have once found in a forest could be found here now, given the right situation. Dogs and cats abounded as did those unspeakable creatures that were mostly dog or cat. Raccoons, deer….squirrel; they were all still there. The animals were wilder now of course. Or maybe it was that man was wilder. It seemed pretty likely that man was here to stay. Opposable thumbs and frontal lobes were pretty hard to beat, after all. But when the bombs fell, a seed of doubt had been planted. Maybe man would not make it after all. When meeting those people that were scraping a way through the dust and decay, one was as often as not confronted with a deadness in the eyes that seemed more fitting to a possum than a man. Humanity had been forever changed and their place in the hierarchy of earth’s fauna had definitely taken a serious hit, to say the least.
Michael pulled away from the glass. He had selected this particular spot, high in the tower because of the excellent view it afforded. He had several candles burning near the windows, inviting her to him. He knew it could invite others as well, but that was a risk he was willing to take. Those who survived now had to know when to be careful and when to be bold. Mike thought that if Jessa knew he was there, she would come to him. That was his hope at least. The truth of it was that he was pretty powerless in this situation. At least this way he felt like he was doing something. It was not lost on him that it was she who had walked away in the first place. But he also knew that there was that third quality you had to have in this world. You had to know when to be careful and when to be bold, but you always had to have hope.
“Hey.”
Mike looked towards the locked door across the room. The now familiar voice came again, a little more insistently. He sighed and went to unlock it, somewhat annoyed by the interruption to his thoughts. In a rare lapse of judgment, he had revealed himself the day before in order to help the kid. He had just looked so pathetic shuffling down the street trying to push a cart while balancing an armful of books and drink some sort of brew through a straw all at once. He allowed himself to be cowed out of hiding by the ridiculousness of it, and some vestigial compassion he still had running through his veins. Maybe he had just longed for some human interaction. The kid certainly looked harmless enough. Trouble was that it was becoming apparent that Milo now considered him his new best friend. He wasn’t sure how to shake him.
“Hey Milo, come on in. You know you shouldn’t be out after dark.”
“Aww, those little puppies don’t scare me. Besides they don’t like their food burnt.”
The young man chuckled and the sound made Mike nervous. It was clear that Milo may not have been around for the bombs, but he certainly had lived in the cities aftermath long enough to be claimed by the ravaging of the radiation that permeated the city. Mike had asked him why he didn’t leave, but an answer was not forthcoming. Everyone knew it didn’t do to hang around the cities too long. This kid obviously hadn’t gotten the memo.
Milo sat down next to Michael and pulled out a bag of some sort.
“What do you got there?”
“It’s a surprise. But I looked high and low,” the kid quipped. “It’s pretty hard to find these days, but I know where to look. It’s actually not exactly what you said, but it’s close. You’re lucky you have simple tastes.” With that he started pouring some rice into bowl.
Michael had indulged in the favorite “what food do you miss most” game and of all things had come up with oatmeal with apples. His mom used to make it for him when he was a boy, and just the memory of it warmed his heart. Of course he hadn’t told the kid that part. He had just said he’d love some hot oatmeal with apple slices. By the looks of it, Milo had made it his mission to make that desire a reality.
“My mom had told me that rice is really about all that is left to eat from before. Sorry, but there’s no more oatmeal. My mom told me that too.” With that he pulled a few apples out of the bag now. “But there’s lots of apples,” he said brightly. With that the kid proceeded to the sink where he pulled further supplies out of his bag, including a gallon of water and matches. Michael watched with more than a little appreciation as the teen proceeded to build a small fire in the sink, and cook up the rice with apples like he was a master chef right in his own kitchen. The kid seemed oblivious to his skill. “My mom showed me a lot of stuff,” Was all he said. “But then she went away.” Whatever that meant, the kid seemed to have made peace with it, so Michael didn’t pry.
Eventually they sat down and enjoyed the hot meal, much to Michael’s delight. “Thanks Milo, that was pretty impressive…and I’ve decided that rice and apples is just as good as rice and oatmeal. Where are you staying for the night?”
Michael thought he already knew the answer, and really he didn’t mind the company. A little touched or not, the kid had come through with the meal. Besides, Milo was pretty quiet. And Michael was learning that he was far more useful than he first appeared. God only knew what else the kid knew about surviving in the city. Maybe if he just let the kid hang around a little he could learn something helpful to his cause, he thought. Besides, the kid was alright.
“I was hoping to stay here.”
“Of course. You are welcome here as long as I am in the city. So why are you still here? There are lots of little settlements that are not so destroyed and without the radiation.”
Michael looked over the chemical burns on the young man’s arms and face. He guessed they covered the rest of his body as well. It was hard to tell whether the kid had always been like that, or if the burns had developed over time. Maybe it was both. Regardless, he had to get through the city ASAP.
“You probably think I’m crazy to stay here, but it’s all I know. I’ve been here
my whole life. At first I stayed with my Mom. I’m not sure why she wanted to be here. But now I stay because I don’t know where else to go. I wouldn’t know what to do away from here. You think I could go with you when you leave?”
Michael had anticipated this, and the kid’s little cooking show had cemented it for him. He had already decided that he would take him with him. The kid had a simplicity, or maybe it was an innocence about him. Maybe it was the way he seemed to trust Michael. Maybe it was that this world was all he’d known. Whatever it was, Michael liked having the kid around. Maybe it reminded him a bit of what he once had himself. But he had to find Jessa and her son first. He still had hopes of finding her here in the city, but he had to think ahead as well. He had to anticipate her next move.
He wasn’t completely sure where she was going, but he had a pretty good idea. They were already headed toward the coast which he had taken as partial confirmation of his initial hunch. The morning she had ditched him (well, the first morning she had ditched him, he corrected himself), as he had looked over her home, he had seen a few crude drawings that she had made of an island in the sea. And she had a few other pictures up of the same. They were really little more than pictures ripped from old magazines, and many wouldn’t have given them a second thought, but it had gotten him thinking. It was really all he had to go on at this point anyhow. He would work with what he had.
“As soon as I find who I came here to find, we will leave together, Milo. Believe me, I want to be out of here as soon as I can. I am thinking we will head toward the ocean, maybe even find an island somewhere.”
The kid smiled at this. While Michael had first guessed him to be in his late teens, he saw that he actually looked closer to fourteen or fifteen when he smiled. The smile brought the kid through in him. There really wasn’t much room in this world for the kid in anyone, Michael thought. Nevertheless, it was nice to get glimpses.
