by Kat Bostick
Chapter 11
Mari
Mari dreamt of the red haired man again. The setting was the same—dark, empty but for gnarled trees—but the man’s actions were not. It started as it had before, with her already in song, her voice more piercing than it had ever been in waking moments. The wolfish howl rose to harmonize with her. When she stopped, he was there in front of her.
That sad, beautiful man with his stunning eyes. Mari looked into those eyes and her heart trilled like a gleeful song bird. It hurt to see him forlorn. Her first instinct was to reach out to him, to soothe his pain with skin on skin. But she remembered how he faded away last time and she resisted the temptation.
“It’s you.” Mari whispered.
“And it’s you.” He answered with a smile that stole the breath from her lungs. Then he took a step toward her and made the same plea from their previous meeting. “See me.”
“I see you.”
His voice was like the smooth surface of a slow moving creek. “You do.”
“I know you.” Mari hadn’t consciously said the words but they were hers.
They were almost touching. Yet, Mari knew the moment they made contact, he would be gone. Her heart ached for him. It was so lonely here. But where was here, exactly? No corporeal place like this existed. How was she to find him if he wasn’t outside of the dream realm? Mari needed to find him. When her gaze met those viridescent eyes it felt like a missing piece finally clicked into place. A piece of what puzzle, she couldn’t say. It was too muddled, different than any other magic dream.
Click.
What was Mari missing?
Click, click.
What was this man that she knew but had never met doing in her dreams?
Click, click, click.
What did he need from her? Mari would give it to him if only she knew.
The clicking grew louder until she couldn’t focus on him anymore. As before, he faded away like fog dissipating in sunlight. Then Mari woke enough to recognize the clicking wasn’t coming from her head, it was coming from the bedroom floor. She sat up and rubbed sleep form her eyes, squinting to find the source of that rapid sound.
Puff after puff of anxious breath rolled off Jasper’s tongue. He was pacing beside the bed, the sporadic clicking caused by his claws knocking against the hardwood floors. Mari had never seen him so distraught. Immediately her heart sank when she remembered the chocolate chip cookie dough. It would be hard to walk him into an emergency vet clinic and claim he was merely a dog. And she had no idea if it would even be safe to bring him around other people. Just because Jasper didn’t hurt her didn’t mean he was harmless.
“Are you sick?” It was silly to ask him because there was no way for him to answer.
Jasper propped his forepaws on the bed beside her. His eyes glowed eerily with nothing more than the distant security light over the garage reflecting through the window. There was such a sense of urgency about him that it made her pulse spike. Mari lifted the covers and went to kick her legs off the bed, hoping he simply needed to go outside. Jasper pressed his chest down on her waist, preventing her from moving.
“What’s wrong?” She rubbed gentle fingers along the side of his jaw. He jerked his head away from her hand and pinned her with a gaze so intense it startled her. “What do you need?”
He couldn’t tell her and nothing had frustrated Mari more in her life. She got the feeling that there was something very important that she was missing.
Eventually Jasper let her up but when she headed down the hallway, he didn’t follow. The red wolf sat beside the bed with his shoulders hunched, looking absolutely lost. A heavy aura of sadness shrouded him. It reminded Mari of the beautiful man from her dreams, his heartbreak so real that tears slipped from the corners of her eyes.
She dropped to the floor and hugged Jasper’s neck. Right then, he looked like he really needed it. Jasper leaned his weight into her and stooped to press his forehead against her shoulder. A low whine pierced the silence. The sound was so pained that it pulled a sob from her chest. Mari was overwhelmed with a mixture of frustration, confusion, and sorrow.
Jasper seemed to share in those feelings. It must be the confinement. He was accustomed to a life of freedom. Though her intentions were good, Mari was only hurting him by keeping him here, even for a few short days.
“I’m sorry.” She sniffled “I’ll make it better, okay? I promise I’ll fix this.”
Mari had to set the wolf free.
✽✽✽
Jasper
Mari saw him. Jasper couldn’t explain how or why but she saw the man within the wolf. He’d fallen into an unexpectedly deep sleep and with it, a dream. Only, it wasn’t his dream. It was Mari’s. It didn’t make any sense but Jasper knew that just as he was there in spirit, so was she. Now that he’d experienced the dream he could recall a similar one from the night before. It had been forgotten in the overwhelm of new sights and smells.
Jasper woke remembering much more than that single dream. Floods of memory from life on two legs were coming to him in rapid fire images and sounds. There still weren’t words and names to go with some of the faces and locations his mind replayed but they were familiar. There was home; a beautiful house with dark wood floors and rooms decorated with paintings that perfectly captured the feeling of pack. And of course, there was the forest. That was also home.
All of them came back to him because Mari saw him. The only problem was that she didn’t understand that she saw him. Not in the way that he’d been asking her to. By the way she cried he knew that she felt his turmoil, but it wasn’t clear that she made the connection between wolf and man. He feared that in her mind the two were separate entities, each with their own sentience.
How was he supposed to show her what he was?
“I’m sorry, Jas.” She sniffed, pulling away to wipe her eyes. A clump of red hair clung to her damp cheeks.
Don’t cry, little witch. He wanted to soothe her too. She kept promising to make it better but this problem wasn’t hers to fix.
And yet, maybe she could help him. That could be precisely why the divine brought them together. Mari was fierce, powerful, and nothing if not determined. Somehow Jasper would make her understand. Somehow he would share himself with her and she would help him become unbroken.
The red wolf arched over the witch, meeting her eyes and pouring himself into her, opening his heart and soul for her to look upon.
See me. He urged.
Jasper wouldn’t give up until she did. He wouldn’t stop until the witch knew the man as she knew the wolf.
Chapter 12
Jasper
“Alright Jas, remember the rules.” This was the third time Mari clarified her expectations for him since late morning. Usually wolves weren’t very good at promises but the ones she was asking him to make were easy. Why would he run towards a road? Or a camp full of people, for that matter? Both were to be avoided at all costs.
Mari had a lot of rules. He wasn’t allowed to bust through any windows or brutally attack any of the upholstery. Under no circumstances should he bite the driver while she was driving—hardly a necessary rule because it’s not as if he bit her for his own entertainment. Well, okay, sometimes he did. It was fun to make her squeal.
Jasper tried not be exasperated by all of Mari’s silly directions as they slipped through the back gate.
He had to remind himself that witches had their own packs with their own laws and etiquettes. Witch manners were obviously different from wolf manners. Very well, he would simply have to teach her more about wolf packs. Tonight was perfect for that. Tonight, they were forest bound. What better way to spend the full moon?
That promise of freedom was more than enough to make him comply without a grumble. At least until she opened the side door and insisted that he sit in the backseat. The leather was slippery and he would skid back and forth every time she made a turn. Once Mari was buckled into her seat, he clambered over the center console and
, rather gracelessly, flopped into the passenger seat.
“Jasper! Your claws are going to poke holes in the seats!” Mari frantically lifted his front paws to insure there was no damage. “Dad will kill me if I scratch his seats.”
A low rumble of threat in his throat stopped Mari’s fussing. Then I will kill him first.
“Okay, jeez. You can ride shotgun.”
The front seat was too small. He was already scrabbling just to stay in it without the repeated turns that smacked his chest against the dash or the door. When they went through a roundabout he snarled at the dashboard which didn’t keep him from flying into it again. At first he was angry enough to bury his teeth into the offending plastic—wolf anger could be irrational—but Mari snorted with laughter at his skirmish and his anger receded.
If only he could reach out and touch that laughter. Jasper stretched his neck so he could lay his head in Mari’s lap. His body barely fit between the gearshift and the center console but he wiggled and squeezed to reach her. That made her laugh again but once her joy died down he sensed agitation.
Mari spent most of the afternoon anxiously talking to herself and pacing in different rooms of her house. Obviously pacing was a habit of hers because there were tread marks on the living room rug that matched her path perfectly. Maybe his witch grew restless during the full moon too. Maybe she needed to run through the trees and taste the blood of deer and feel the cool night air kiss her naked skin.
An image of her bare in the moonlight flashed in his mind’s eye and something roused within him—something man. It was the same something that wanted to take her laughter as a tangible gift. He wanted to touch her skin as much as he wanted to touch her joy. And not with the end of his tongue, but with his hands. It had been too long since Jasper had hands.
He didn’t regret becoming man who was also wolf. If he was not born a predator, he was born to become one. The power and prowess that came with his wolf skin gratified Jasper like nothing else could. Yet, he was suddenly aware of another form of gratification that he could achieve only as man. The craving might be as carnal as the hunger for the hunt but the result would be the opposite. To hunt was to bring death. To make love was to create life.
Wolf was death, man was life. Neither was wrong or evil. Both were forces of nature that had a place in the wild world. Wolf who was also man served the Earth Mother in that way. She called for death and he brought it. And when she called for new life, he could bring her that too.
The road to their destination was long but eventually it straightened out until there were no more twists and turns to make the car lurch. Jasper let himself doze with the heat of Mari’s sweet belly against his head, once again dreaming of home.
✽✽✽
Mari
The drive to the national forest took longer than Mari anticipated. There wasn’t much traffic on the highway but her GPS had trouble finding the exact location she was looking for and miscalculated the trip by almost ten miles.
By the time they were passing Pennington, the sun had disappeared behind the forest and the trees became whirling blurs of dull brown and grey. When they turned onto the forest service road, she had to flick the headlights on. Mari wanted secluded? This place would definitely cut it. If Dad hadn’t loaned her his jeep, she couldn’t have made the drive into the forest without losing necessary parts from the bottom of her car.
As soon as the first wheel left the smooth asphalt surface and skidded onto gravel, Jasper bolted upright in the passenger seat. There was a radiance to his green eyes that lit up the dark cab. He blinked against the bright headlights and scanned the shadowy trees as they passed at the unhurried pace the unpaved road called for.
Tonight the moon would be full and Jasper seemed to be affected by it, as she was. The pull of the Blue Goddess was stronger under the open sky, surrounded by trees. Her magic danced with that of Earth Mother, weaving a tapestry of power between the earth and the sky. Mari always felt the primal draw during this time of the month but her few experiences worshipping under the moon never fully satisfied the ache that awakened inside of her. She wasn’t entirely sure what was missing—a coven, perhaps?—but maybe tonight this experience would finally fulfill her.
At the very least, she hoped it soothed the restless need prickling along her skin.
Jasper’s tension would soon be eased as well. The further into the woods Mari drove them, the heavier his breathing became. When she found a short turn off with a dead end to park the jeep, he was impatiently tapping his feet on the seat. With a doleful sigh she put the car in park and unlocked the doors. Seeing his reaction to the forest, the open space for him to roam, Mari knew she was making the right decision, even if it was a hard one.
The short month and a half she spent with the beast would always be treasured memories. They might not be able to properly communicate but sometimes Mari felt like Jasper understood her better than anyone. It was a shame—heartbreaking, actually—that she wasn’t some powerful witch that knew how to handle him. Then she could create a space for him in her life, spend her nights walking as a shadow and feeling fearless with the wolf by her side.
It wasn’t meant to be.
That didn’t mean she wasn’t still determined to find out what he was before they parted ways. Mari had no plan—casting on him the way she did plants didn’t sound like it would give promising results—but she would try everything she could think of. It was a last desperate attempt to give her an excuse to keep him. If Mari discovered that her magic did, in fact, interact with Jasper in some way then maybe it was meant to be. The divine were known to play games with fate.
“This is it.” Said Mari, leaning in front of him to open the passenger door.
Despite his barely contained excitement, he stayed put. Jasper glanced out the door with a look of longing then turned his summery gaze on her with a heavy dose of wariness. Almost as if he knew what she planned to do. Mari wasn’t going to wait until he got out of the car then speed away like some jerk abandoning an unwanted dog but she had hoped he would be so thrilled to be in the wild that he would dart into the trees and make this goodbye easier.
She climbed out of the driver’s seat with another sigh. When she came around to close Jasper’s door, he was standing at the edge of the forest with his snout raised high. He glanced over his shoulder at her, tail whipping violently. Apparently he was very pleased with her choice of forest. Overhead, the first silvery tendrils of moonlight were beginning to paint the tops of the trees.
Absently, she remembered that today was the summer solstice. According to Gran, the power of Earth Mother was at its most potent during the solstice. Among old trees, during a powerful natural event such as this, the witch within was more awakened. Mari could feel her looking out at the wolf, the forest, and the moon with wonder and wisdom.
Jasper yipped and took off into the dark. She lost sight of him quickly as he wove gracefully between the trunks of oak, maple, and pine. Two minutes later he returned, cocking his head at her in question.
“You really do belong here.” She answered.
Jasper made a bounding leap in her direction, nearly knocking her to the ground when he hit her legs. He sat at her feet and met her eyes with that same questioning look.
“I want to know what you are but either way, I think this is right for you.” Mari felt the sadness swelling up in her chest, making her voice crack. “I know that you’re special, Jasper. I’m not. I’m not a powerful witch and I can’t give you what you need.” She brushed a hand over his ear. “I won’t confine you. I can’t watch you slowly starve for freedom and go mad because I tried to tame you. You are wild as they come. It would break my heart to stifle that.”
A whirlwind of red fur blurred in front of her at the same time a rumbling growl echoed through the trees. Before Mari could react, Jasper had her stumbling backwards and falling ungracefully onto her butt. As soon as her legs hit the ground, he pounced on her. The entire weight of his body came crashing d
own on her torso, forcing the air from her lungs in a startled gasp.
Hot wolf breath bathed her throat in moisture. Jasper’s teeth grazed the soft skin there briefly. Though her heart was frantically pumping adrenaline through her veins, she forced herself to relax and trust that the wolf, whatever he was, meant her no harm.
“What are you doing?”
He ignored her and replaced his teeth with his tongue. He followed the blood that moved through the throbbing artery on the side of her neck with slow strokes. For the first minute she was careful to remain very still, not wanting to startle him. When she couldn’t take anymore licking without getting totally grossed out, she wiggled her hips.
Apparently Jasper hadn’t been using all of his weight to pin her. Her attempted escape made him lower his belly and press into her shoulders with his elbows. Mari grunted and gasped again, barely able to draw a breath beneath several hundred pounds of dense muscle. Satisfied that she couldn’t escape, Jasper rested his chin directly on top of her face.
“Holy crap, Jasper!” she croaked. “You’re going to crush me.”
He raised his head to gaze down at her. How strangely human that behavior was.
“You don’t want me to leave you here.” She whispered.
The smack of his tail against her thigh agreed with her statement.
“Are you a demon?” She’d asked him before but since he was communicating so clearly, she decided to double check before gallivanting off into a dark forest with him.
Jasper snorted and flipped his head back like that was the most absurd thing she could have asked.
“Good to know. Can you please get off me now, not demon?” Mari bucked her hips in futility. “I wasn’t just going to slam the car door and drive away! Give me some credit, dude.”
Jasper glared at her with a mistrustful expression before standing. Technically he didn’t get off her, he just got over her. The red wolf stood above her at his full height, reminding her once again that he was a predator built for ferocity and violence.
