by Unknown
“Penny, Gabby does love you. Please don’t think any differently.”
She didn’t say anything straight away. Sucked in deep breath after deep breath, as if trying to compose herself.
“I know.” She cleared her throat, voice stronger the second time. “I know, I do, but it doesn’t make it any easier.”
“It’s been hard on me, too, Penny. I know that might sound like a cop-out to you, but it has.”
Something flashed through her gaze then, something he could see even in the dark.
Anger maybe. Or perhaps disbelief.
“But you’ve been here, Daniel. You’ve been here and I’ve been away.” She shook her head. “It’s not fair, Daniel, none of this is fair.”
He stood, not wanting to sit any longer.
Not sure if he was ready to have this conversation yet after all.
“You think it’s been easy for me?” he said in a low voice, refusing to let anger creep into his tone. Unable to shoulder all the blame any longer. “You think it was easy for me to pretend to you like everything was okay when I was dying inside here? When I didn’t know how to be a full-time dad, when all I knew was how to be a pilot? I’d give up anything for my family, but leaving the navy behind was nothing like easy.”
PconÁd=“AFMC1”enny looked up then, too, drew her body up tall even though she was still seated.
“Let’s not talk about easy, Daniel.” Her tone was cold, angry. Like she hadn’t heard anything he’d said except that one word. “Don’t even get me started on easy.”
Fury built within him until he felt like a jug about to boil over. A volcano about to blow its top after centuries of being dormant.
“And what exactly is that meant to mean?”
The tears were gone now, only to be replaced by a strong, calm anger that made him realize why she was so good at her job. Why his young wife had made sergeant. Why the United States Army was so darn keen to keep her in their service.
“I take it you were pretty easy the night you cheated on me.” She spat the words at him now. “Or have you forgotten about that already? Forgotten that when all we had was trust, when I was on the other side of the world and couldn’t do anything about it, you decided to throw our marriage away like it wasn’t worth the paper it was written on.”
“How dare you.” His body was shaking. “How dare you make out like our marriage means nothing to me?”
“How dare I?” Penny jumped to her feet then. “I have never been unfaithful, Daniel. In all the years we’ve been together, I have never once been tempted by another man.”
They glared at one another. Yeah, he’d done something stupid, hated that he’d hurt her, but she didn’t understand. He hated himself for what he’d done. But he was hurting, too.
“You left me here, Penny. You left me and I had nothing.”
She laughed. “Nothing? You had our daughter, you had your family and you had your job.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. Sad now instead of angry. “I had no wife, I had to figure out how to look after a four-year-old girl on my own, and I had to deal with losing my identity. The navy had been my whole life, Penny, and it would have been different to give that up and come home to you. But it was the first time in my life that I’ve ever felt alone. Every time we spoke I pretended like everything was okay, but it wasn’t. I’ve never felt so sad and alone in all my life, okay? But I wanted to shield you from it and so I suffered on my own. I kept my mouth shut.”
She was still glaring at him, but she didn’t say a thing.
“Yeah, I stuffed up, but I would do anything to take that back. I’ve never, ever wanted to hurt you, and if I hadn’t been so damn drunk, so miserable, so lonely, I …”
“Am I meant to feel sorry for you?”
He reached for her hand, wanting this fight to be over. Wanting her to understand. Not knowing what to say or how to say it. Wishing he’d kept it all to himself again.
“If I could take it back, I would. I know it was wrong, but at the time, hell, I don’t know. I felt like I was sinking, at the bottom of a well with no hope of fighting my way to the top.
I was stupid-drunk, I know that’s no excuse, but I swear on my life that I’ll never, ever hurt you again.”
“My mother fell pregnant with me to a man she thought loved saÁught loveher. And what did he do once she told him? He left her. Because he had a wife he’d never told her about.” She crossed her arms tightly across her chest. “I grew up without a father as the result of infidelity. Your own father cheated on your mother and left you without a dad to rely on.”
He stared at her.
“Don’t ever compare me to my father.” He heard the coolness of his tone but was powerless to stop it. He despised the man.
“I grew up believing that I’d never find a man I could trust. That I could love. Because of what my mother had told me about my own father.” Tears started to fall down her cheeks again as she spoke. “But then I met you, Daniel, and I trusted you. I gave you my heart and never once doubted your love, or that you’d always be there for me. I loved you so much that it hurt sometimes, and now I have to think about that man whom I trusted so much with another woman. With his arms, his hands, his lips on another woman’s. And it’s something I don’t know how to forget.”
“I’m sorry, Penny. I know I’ve hurt you, but …”
“Screw you, Daniel.”
Penny spun around, his sweater falling from her shoulders, hair swinging as she flung the door open.
He stood still. He couldn’t do anything else.
In the ten years he’d been with Penny, in all that time of knowing her, he’d never seen such anger in her gaze. Never felt the sting like a slap to his cheek of Penny firing such venom-laced words at him.
Never. Not as a nineteen-year-old and not as a grown woman.
Daniel bent to retrieve his sweater, pulled it on then let himself out the gate. He needed to take a walk, even just down the street.
And he needed to give Penny some breathing space to gather her own thoughts, too.
Their discussion hadn’t gone well, but then he’d never really expected it to.
Although he’d never thought it would be quite that bad.
Penny was furious. Mind-jarring, body-shaking, wild kind of furious.
How dare he? How could he think that there was any excuse for the way he’d behaved? The way he’d hurt her?
She’d been away on tour with a huge number of men. All types of different guys, plenty of them handsome and charming, but she’d never once even considered giving in to temptation. No matter how sad or lonely she was.
Because her marriage meant too much to her.
Was she meant to feel sorry for him? Think it was okay that he’d been with another woman because he’d been lonely?
She would have traded anything not to have to go away again. To be here with Gabby instead of serving overseas. She’d done her time, fulfilled her duty, and now she wanted to come home. No matter how much she loved her unit, liked being part of a team and making a difference.
And Daniel was wrong. She knew exactly what it meant to be lonely.
She’d been living lonely ever since she’d flown out and left her husband standing beside her daughter. Looked over her shoulder and seen the pair of them holding hands while she had to board a plane and leave them for months on end. 201Áhs on endWhen she’d never expected to have to go on tour again. When her contract said that after four years of service she’d be free to be a civilian again.
She’d miss the people she served with, too, but she’d trade it all for being right back here at home.
Penny threw a pillow and a blanket out onto the sofa and hoped Daniel got the message.
Pretending or not, she had no intention of sharing a bed with him. Not tonight, and maybe not ever again.
Back in the Soldier’s Arms/Here Comes the Groom
CR!93BHZ3MAHS4NVAVVWQG1QCZMZ0ZB
CHAPTER EIGHT
&
nbsp; A KNOCK echoed out down the hall. Penny looked up. She was sitting on the sofa reading to Gabby. The last thing she needed was a visitor. Her head was still pounding from the night she’d spent tossing and turning, eyes no doubt verging on seriously bloodshot.
“I’ll get it!” Daniel called out.
She glimpsed him as he walked past the living room door, jeans slung low on his waist, towel still in his hand as he rubbed at his damp hair.
Penny wished she hadn’t seen him. The last thing she needed was to be reminded of how good he looked bare. The golden color of his flat torso, the breadth of his shoulders.
Clearly leaving the navy hadn’t taken a toll on his appearance.
“Oh, hey,” she heard him say.
Gabby jumped up. “Is that Grandma?”
Penny strained her ears but couldn’t hear. “I don’t know, hon. Why don’t you go take a look?”
She watched as her daughter bounded off down the hall, returning less than a minute later towing her grandmother.
“Hi, Penny.”
“Oh. Hi, Vicki,” she responded.
She ran her hands over her rumpled jeans before playing anxiously with her ponytail. She was suddenly conscious that the house was a mess. That she didn’t even have dinner on yet.
But she’d been having such a lovely time with Gabby, Daniel had spent the afternoon at work, and she was only talking to him when she had to, to make sure Gabby didn’t figure out there was anything wrong. She hadn’t even thought about what they were going to eat.
“I, ah, didn’t know you were coming over.” Why hadn’t Daniel told her? “I’ll rustle up something for dinner if you’re staying?”
Vicki sent a confused look at Daniel.
“I’m sorry, darling, was tonight supposed to be a surprise?”
Daniel groaned, the noise only just audible. “I forgot to cancel.”
Great.
“Daniel …” Penny#x2 D‡ started.
Vicki frowned before bending to talk to Gabby. “Why don’t you run and get some of your presents to show me again,” Vicki asked her. “Silly Grandma’s already forgotten what you got for your birthday.”
Gabby ran off with a smile on her face. Vicki’s face was more solemn.
“I don’t know what’s happened here today, but I’m not going to stand around and let you mope,” she said to both of them, her voice stern. “I’m here now so you may as well go out and enjoy yourselves.”
Penny held up her hands. “I’m sorry to waste your time, Vicki, but I think dinner’s off the cards.”
Daniel didn’t say anything. He looked at the ground, before raising his eyes slowly to meet Penny’s gaze.
“Are you sure?”
She glared at him. “Yes.” She had no intention of going through with their date night. “Besides, Gabby seems to have a bit of a cold or something coming on.”
Vicki looked deflated. Like she’d been looking forward to seeing the pair of them go out.
“What time was the booking, Daniel?” his mother asked. “Seven.”
Vicki took a step forward and touched Penny’s shoulder. “You’ve got an hour to get yourself ready,” she said, voice low. “Can you not both put aside your differences and enjoy a meal together? You can have your dinner, chat about your daughter and then come home. I’ll make Gabby dinner, then put her to bed.”
Penny felt her mother-in-law’s gentle squeeze to her arm. She looked at Daniel. His gaze was … hopeful.
Penny shut her eyes, thought for half a second, then gave in.
It would be nice to have a meal out. To discuss what they were going to do custody-wise once she was home for good. Talk about Gabby and how they were going to deal with her leaving. About telling her what had happened between them, and perhaps even being honest with her about what it was her mother did for a career. Daniel must have told her something, but it was about time they came clean about her being a soldier.
“Pen, why don’t you have a shower and think about it?” She forced a smile on her face. “You know what? Maybe it’s not such a bad idea.” So long as it wasn’t a date.
Vicki beamed at them both, reaching out for Gabby as she appeared, arms laden with goodies.
“Grandma, you do remember about my bike, don’t you?”
“Of course, sweetheart, it was all the other things I needed reminding about.”
Penny tried to avoid Daniel’s gaze as she went to the bathroom, but it wasn’t easy. His eyes followed hers, she could feel them burning into her as if his pupils were laced with acid.
Her stomach churned at the thought of a night out, just the two of them. After their argument last night, the words they’d said, the anger that had blasted between them … she wondered how they’d even manage to sit across from one another for an entire meal.
But maybe it was what they needed, she thought, as she stepped out of her clothes and under the hot stream of water in the shower. They couldn’t argue in pubintÑrgue in plic. She wouldn’t embarrass herself by walking out of a restaurant.
So maybe, just maybe, dinner wouldn’t be so bad. They could eat, have a civil conversation and head home, like Vicki had suggested.
Daniel tugged at the edge of his shirt.
He guessed it was nerves making him on edge, but he wasn’t sure.
He didn’t ever remember being this nervous before. Not before his first flight up in a helicopter. Or the first time he went up solo after joining the navy as a pilot.
He decided to tuck the shirt into his jeans. He’d snuck into the bedroom to grab clothes from his wardrobe while Penny was in the shower. He was still waiting for her to emerge.
“You look lovely.”
He smiled at his mother’s words, not having realized she’d been watching him. “Yeah, but you have to say that.”
Gabby laughed, slapping her hand down with glee on the table.
“I beat you again, Grandma!” she squealed, before coughing.
Daniel exchanged looks with his mother as she put up her hands in defeat. “So you did. But don’t forget to cover your mouth when you cough.”
Daniel went to sit on the sofa to wait, but his body stuttered to a stop. He didn’t even have a chance to ask Gabby how she was feeling.
Wow.
“You look fantastic.”
He couldn’t help but stare as Penny walked into the room. She had on jeans that were so snug he could see almost every contour of her legs, paired with a low-front, slinky looking T-shirt, and she had her favorite leather jacket on, hanging open.
Geez. He’d forgotten how incredible she looked dressed to go out.
And he’d always loved that worn biker-style jacket on her. “I haven’t worn this stuff in forever,” she said with a sigh, cheeks flushing ever-so as he watched her. “I hope it’s still okay.”
Daniel was struggling to stop his jaw from hitting the floor. “You look fantastic, Penny.” Good enough to eat. He saw Gabby move from the corner of his eye. “You okay, hon?” Penny asked.
Their daughter nodded, before moving slowly over to her mother. She took her hand, looking her up and down.
Daniel realized she probably didn’t remember Penny ever looking like this.
It was the Penny he knew before they’d gotten married and had Gabby. This was the smoking-hot Penny he’d first fallen in love with.
“You look so pretty, Mommy.” Gabby was clearly impressed with her mother. “Like, really pretty.”
Penny laughed and bent to kiss her on the cheek.
“Will you be okay with Grandma? Are you feeling okay?” She pressed her palm to Gabby’s forehead.
Gabby nodded. “Is Daddy going with you?”
He took a step forward, his body recovering from the shock of Penny standing in front of him.
From his wife.
Daniel grabbed his keys. “Yeah, I’m taking Mommy out for dinner.”
“Have a nice night, kids,” Vicki called from the table.
“We won’t be late,�
�� Penny told her, walking ahead of Daniel toward the front door.
Daniel ran a step ahead to grab the door for her, to hold it open for Penny to walk through.
“Thanks,” she said, eyes flickering over his as he passed.
It was the little things that counted, he knew that. Just like he knew that she’d always liked being treated like a lady. Liked the fact that she could be in a male-dominated career like the army and still feel like a woman when she was home.
Maybe it had been the little things he’d forgotten about. And maybe she had, too.
But tonight, he was going to remember every single little detail.
“I’m really glad we decided to go out,” he said, unlocking the car by remote as they walked.
Penny looked over her shoulder at him, eyes twinkling his way. There was a softness there he hadn’t seen since the day of Gabby’s party.
“Me, too,” she replied.
And from the look on her face, the openness he saw there, he knew she meant it.
Daniel jumped out of the driver’s side and moved quickly to open Penny’s door. If she was surprised, she didn’t show it, but she did manage to avoid taking his hand as she stepped out onto the sidewalk.
He watched as she tilted her head back to look at the front of the restaurant. It was an old building, rustic but pleasant, with a modest, solid timber door hiding stairs that led up to the restaurant. Wrought-iron placed over the windows was softened with pots of bright-colored flowers.
“Hasn’t changed a bit,” she said, sighing.
“That’s what I love about it,” he told her, locking the car and holding the heavy restaurant door open.
She paused before walking past him. “Have you been here lately?”
“You mean while you’ve been away?” She nodded. Hell, no. Never.
“I’d never come here without you, Penny. It’s always been our place.” Daniel couldn’t stop the huskiness in his tone. He’d never even considered coming here without her.
“I don’t even think I’ve been out for dinner since you left,” he told her, following her up the stairs. “To Mom’s place and through the drive-through with Gabby, but nowhere like this.”
