by Unknown
Penny looked up, eyes hooded as she peeped from beneath dark lashes.
He shuffled closer, until their upper bodies were touching, so close he could feel the beat of her heart against him.
“The feel of you,” he said, running his fingers through her hair again. “The smell of you.” He dipped his face closer to hers, inhaled the sweet fragrance of her perfume. “The taste of you.”
That time he paused, waited, gave her the chance to pull away.
But she didn’t.
Penny’s face, open and trusting, tilted upward. Her lower lip was trembling. She looked scared.
Daniel slowly placed a hand around her waist, the other still resting on her hair, fingers connected to each strand. He kissed her slowly, gently.
Her body was stiff, but only for a heartbeat. She molded against him, her body soft and supple.
“Danny,” she murmured as he pulled back, kissing her one last time before pulling himself away. He walked backwards, holding each of her hands clasped in his.
“I love you, Penny.” Daniel pulled her forward, linked her hands behind his back. “I love your nose,” he said, before kissing the tip of it. “Your eyes.” He ran a finger across her eyebrow then down the side of her face. “Your mouth.”
She offered her mouth up in response, kissing him deeply, arms tracing their way from his back up to his neck, cupped behind his head.
Daniel took it as an invitation, trailed his own hands down her shoulders and to her back, feeling for the zipper on her dress and pulling it slowly down.
“I’ve missed this. Missed you,” he murmured.
She sighed and found his mouth, lips searching out his. Not wanting to talk, wanting only to touch.
But this wasn’t just physical. Daniel wanted to talk. To tell her why he loved her, what he’d missed. To make sure she knew there was no one else who could ever make him feel like she did.
When he slid the zipper the entire way down, her dress fell, pooled on the ground at her feet.
Daniel stole his mouth from hers and kissed a slow trail down her body, starting at her neck and nibbling down her chest, hands lingering over her lace bra, lips searching out the skin on her belly then down her legs, until he was on his knees at her feet.
“Daniel,” she protested, voice shaky, hands raised to cover her body.
“Don’t even think about asking me to turn the lights out,”
he said, lifting first one of her high-heel-clad feet then the other so she could step out of the dress.
He straightened his body again and this time placed a hand on each of her shoulders, turning her until she stood with the bed behind her.
“When I tell you how beautiful you look, you can believe me,” he told her, holding her gently, supporting her weight, as he tipped her back onto the bed.
Penny’s eyes widened as he lifted his arms to pull his shirt off, before folding his own body down onto the bed, over hers.
Penny had never, ever felt so vulnerable.
She wnd ¡€as trying so hard to stay calm, but her heart was racing and she was starting to panic. She couldn’t shut her mind off.
“I want tonight to be perfect,” he whispered.
Daniel lowered himself, resting on one elbow as he touched her face with one hand and started to kiss her again.
But he must have felt her stiffen, because his lips withdrew. The warmth of his face no longer against her own.
“Penny?”
It was as if her heart was cracking open, piece by tiny piece.
She couldn’t go through with this.
Suddenly having him above her made her feel like she couldn’t breathe, like she was being suffocated.
“Daniel, I need to get up,” she said.
His brow creased, confused, but he didn’t move.
“Now!” she said, louder this time.
He rolled sideways and she leaped off the bed, trying to cover her breasts. Feeling vulnerable, scared.
“I can’t do this,” she sobbed as tears clouded her vision. “I can’t.” Penny stumbled, looking for her dress, hating that she was so bare, in her underwear and heels.
Daniel was behind her, his hands on her hips.
“Don’t touch me,” she cried. “Please don’t.”
“I didn’t mean to push you, Pen,” Daniel said, voice low and apologetic. “Let’s just sit here, let me hold you.”
“Where’s my dress!” She felt hysterical now. She needed to cover herself, to get out of here. Away from him. She couldn’t do it, no matter how much she’d wanted to. No matter how badly she wanted them to work.
The candles, the champagne, the room … it was all too much pressure. Made her wonder if this was what he’d done with the other woman, even though he’d told her what had happened. Was it her he really wanted to be entertaining here? Would she even shape up?
“Don’t go.” Daniel’s voice was flat, as if he knew there was nothing he could do to stop her.
She ignored him, ignored the intense pain within her body that made her feel like her heart was literally shattering into hundreds of tiny pieces. Ignored the pounding in her head, fought the words that wanted so desperately to be released.
Penny struggled into her dress, tears falling onto her bare arms.
She had to get out of here.
“I’m not letting you leave.” Daniel’s voice had lost the softness it had held earlier, and was now commanding. Determined. “Tonight is not ending like this.”
She shook her head, not ready to fight. Not wanting to argue.
She didn’t have the energy or will to take this out on Daniel any longer. She’d tried. Given it her best.
But in this case, her best was not good enough. “Let me past, Daniel.”
She had no idea how she was going to get home, what she was going to do, but she needed to be alone. “No.”
“Please.” It came out as a sob, tears clogging her throat.Not¡€
“I love you, Penny,” he said, blocking her from getting through the door. “Do you still love me? Or don’t you? Is that the problem here?”
A fresh wave of tears filled her eyes, but Penny angled her chin, forced herself to be brave. “I do love you, Daniel, that’s never been our problem.”
His face crumpled, there was no other way to describe it and she’d never seen such pain on another human being’s face before. He knew what the problem was, and he hated himself for being the cause of it.
Just like she hated herself for not being able to move on from what he’d done, for not being able to forget. For failing him when he needed her, for not realizing that everything wasn’t okay while she was away and pretending like it was.
“I can’t block it out,” she told him. “Every time you touch me, I think of you touching her. When I think about you making love to me, I wonder how I’ll compare.” They were the most honest, true words she’d ever spoken.
And also the hardest.
Penny touched Daniel’s face with her open palm, cupped his cheek.
She loved him, she did.
“I can forgive you, Danny,” she whispered, shaking her head from side to side, trying to shake off the emotion striking hot like an iron through her insides. “You were hurting and lonely, I understand that, I do. I hate what you did, but I will forgive you.”
“But?” he asked, his dark brown eyes filled with the same big tears she could feel in her own.
“But I don’t know how to forget, I can’t do it,” she said. “I’ve tried so hard, but I can’t. I need more time.”
They were both silent.
Penny wished she were angry, but it wasn’t anger that was hurting her. That was holding her back. “I need to go,” she said.
Daniel’s shoulders slumped forward. He ran a hand through his hair.
“I’ll stay here, give you some space.” “Thank you.”
Penny opened the door. “Goodbye, Daniel.” He didn’t answer and she kept walking.
Daniel closed
the door as gently as he could. His head was pounding, his hands were starting to shake, his body was rigid like it could snap with one wrong movement. Damn it!
He wiped furiously at the tears crowding his eyes, willed them away. Looked around the room like a mad man waiting to strike out.
And he did. He couldn’t contain his rage any longer.
Daniel reached for the bottle of champagne and threw it against the wall, jumping at the sound of it smashing. He reached for the glasses, hating everything about the room. About the perfect scene he’d tried to create.
He raised his arm to hurl his glass against the wall, too, but he couldn’t do it.
A sob burst from his mouth, so loud it sounded as if it had come from a wild animal. A noise he didn’t recognize.
Daniel dropped the glass at his feet before sinking onto the carpet beside it, knees hitting the floor.
Tears streaked down his cheeks and he didn’t have the energy to wipe them away.
He knew the meaning of a broken heart now. Knew how the pain of one could kill a man.
Because right now, the pain he felt, the sense of sinking, of isolation, of gut-wrenching agony, was as real as if someone had stabbed a knife through his stomach and left him to bleed out.
He’d lost her. And there was nothing he could do to make things right.
In two days’ time, she’d be gone.
His marriage was over and he had only himself to blame.
Back in the Soldier’s Arms/Here Comes the Groom
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CHAPTER FOURTEEN
PENNY’S eyes were sore and swollen from crying as she peeked into Gabby’s room. The cab ride home from the hotel had been the longest drive of her life, made her feel so desperately alone she’d wanted to curl into the fetal position and never emerge.
But that wasn’t an option for her. She was a mother and a soldier. She had to find the strength to continue, no matter how much pain she was in.
“Mommy?”
“Gabby?” She fumbled her way over to flick on the bedside lamp, not able to see clearly enough from the tiny sliver of light from the hall.
“Honey, what are you doing awake?”
Penny sat on the bed and stroked her hand through Gabby’s hair.
“I had a bad dream,” she said, tucking in tight against her mom. “Will you lie with me?”
Penny needed to touch, to hold Gabby, as much as Gabby needed her.
“Sure, honey, let me take my shoes off.”
Penny flicked off her heels and kicked them to the ground, tucking her legs up on the bed and shuffling sideways to put her head on the pillow beside Gabby’s.
“I can’t wait for you to come home next time, Mommy,” Gabby whispered, her tiny hands clasped between their faces.
Penny pushed the words away, not ready to deal with what it’d be like next time she came home. Not capable of thinking that far ahead, about what her future would be like.
About life without Daniel.
“Have I ever told you you’re the most the important person in my life?”
Gabby snuggled closer again. “Even more special than Daddy?”
Penny bit down hard on the inside of her mouth, curled one of her feet into the other in an effort to keep her emotions at bay.
“Yeah, even more special than Daddy, because you’re my baby girl.”
“I love you as much as I love Daddy, even though you’ll be gone again soon,” Gabby said.
Penny couldn’t help the sadlif;I ca smile that broke out on her face. All this time worrying that she’d ruined her relationship with her daughter by her absence, upset that she loved her father more than she loved her and that they’d never recover from it, for nothing.
“I love you, too. More than anything in the world.”
Gabby stayed quiet, enveloped in her arms, breathing steadily but not yet sleepy.
“Go to sleep now, honey. I’ll stay here with you.”
Gabby didn’t say anything, and Penny held her tight, leaning backward a smidge to turn the light off.
She wished things could have turned out differently, that she wasn’t shedding tears over the fact her marriage was over.
But it was. And there was nothing she could do to change that.
Daniel had tried his hardest and she’d done her best to forgive and forget. In the end, it had all been too much.
Too much pressure with the hotel room and the champagne and the flowers. Too soon to be in that position. Too fast for her to make such a huge decision and decide whether they could ever move past this and be the Danny and Pen of old.
Gabby started to softly snore.
She had her daughter, and that’s what she had to be thankful for.
She’d survived two terms serving her country, and she was healthy and whole.
Gabby’s hair was wet against her cheek and it took Penny a moment to realize it was from her tears, that they’d fallen into Gabby’s soft locks.
Goodnight, baby girl, she mouthed silently. Sweet dreams.
This was her second-to-last full night here. Then it was back to living in an army camp, wishing she was tucked up beside her daughter’s tiny, warm body all over again.
Daniel strode through the door silently, but with a determination that he hadn’t felt since he’d left the navy.
He’d lost it back there at the hotel, but he’d pulled himself together and he knew what he had to do.
Daniel walked quietly down the hall, careful not to make a sound, and went through the open door into his bedroom. It was dark, and when he flicked the lamp on he saw that the bed was still made.
His heart started to pound.
Had she even come home?
Daniel hurried back down the hall, panic creeping into his mind. He pushed the door of Gabby’s room open more fully and peeked in, but it was too dark to see.
He walked slowly, waiting for his eyes to adjust.
And when they did he saw a larger silhouette beside Gabby’s small one.
“Penny?” He dipped his mouth close to her ear, not wanting to wake Gabby. “Penny?” He nudged her shoulder gently. She stirred, then mumbled something he couldn’t decipher. “Pen, wake up.”
He took her by the hand, giving her a gentle tug. Her eyes popped open, he could see them flash in the dark. “Daniel?”
“Shh.” He encouraged her to get up and she did, following him out into the hall.
The light there was only low level, and he didn’t want to talk to her in hushed tones outside their daughter&#xPen±€2019;s bedroom.
“Daniel, what are you doing here?” her voice was a low hiss.
He beckoned for her to follow. “We need to talk.”
She followed but he could tell from her pace alone before she even spoke that she was going to resist.
“We’ve said everything, Daniel. Please, let’s not put ourselves through this again.”
He held his tongue until they were in their bedroom and he could close the door behind them.
“Penny, can you sit down?” he asked.
She looked reluctant, but she sat on the edge of the bed. He did the same, taking a deep breath for courage before saying the words he needed to say. The words that had entered his mind, come to him, after he’d broken down in the hotel room. Too late to tell her before she left, but not too late to say now.
“Penny, I know you don’t think you can forget, but the truth is, I can’t either.”
She looked uncomfortable, about to protest, but he launched into what he had to say before she could stop him.
Daniel took her hands in his, shuffled closer to her on the bed and looked into her eyes.
“I’ll always remember your eyes, Penny Cartwright, for as long as I live,” he said, willing her to listen, needing to tell her this for both of their sakes. “Do you know why?”
She moved her head ever so slowly from side to side.
Daniel touched his hand to the edge of her eye, stroking his
thumb lightly over the skin there. “Because these were the eyes I looked into on our wedding day,” he said gently. “The eyes that reassured me, without you needing to say a word, that I had nothing to be nervous about, that everything was going to be okay when we became man and wife.”
He watched as her eyes misted over, knew that he’d hit enough of a nerve for her to keep listening.
He was telling her the truth, nothing more, and it was the right thing to do. Daniel could feel in his heart that it was what he needed to say. No matter what happened, he owed it to both of them to be honest, to tell her how he felt.
“I looked into your eyes when you lost your mother, and I wished I could take away the pain I saw there, but I knew that by looking at you, you’d know how much I loved you.”
She reached to brush tears from her cheek, falling in a slow trickle.
“I’ll never forget your eyes because I looked into them seconds after our daughter was born and saw a happiness there I’ll never forget, and when you had to leave her to serve overseas, I’ll never forget the pain I saw there either.”
“Daniel …” She tried to stop him but he needed to say his fill, to get the words off his chest.
He moved his hand to her belly, resting it there.
“I’ll never forget your stomach, Penny, because I stroked it every night once I arrived home from overseas, talking to our little girl. I’ll never forget that you carried my child for nine months and made me the happiest man on the planet.”
Penny was crying now, silently crying as she listened to him, but she never broke his gaze. Her lower lip was caught between her teeth, and it stayed there as he brushed">H±€ his fingers across them.
“I’ll never forget your lips because of the times they’ve kissed and reassured me.” He tried to stop his voice from cracking as he said the next part. The hardest part. “And I’ll never forget the way you reassured me that I’d never be like my father.”
That made Penny shake her head, expression no longer sad, determined now.
“You’re not your father, Daniel.”
“No?” he asked. “I think I am, Penny. You gave me your trust and I stomped all over it.”
It was Penny who touched his face then, who took over where he’d left off. “You’re not like him, Daniel, because he hurt your mother on purpose. He left her and never came back.”
