The kitchen gets hot as the meat browns on the stove.
Michael pulls taco seasoning down.
“Oh, no.” I shake my head. “You can’t use that.”
“Do you have a better plan?” He puts the packet back in the pantry.
“Of course.” This is fun, and feels good. I’m helping, and I’m alone with Michael.
There are peppers in the fridge, I chop them up, add a few onions and raid the spices for chili powder, cumin and oregano. Perfect.
I take off my sweatshirt in the heat. I’ve been afraid to take it off in front of anybody for over a month. It doesn’t matter here. Everyone knows.
I come back to the stove and pull out a few more seasonings to add to the browning meat, and my short sleeves feel good. I turn toward the fridge to get oil for shells when Michael notices me.
“Wow.” He stares at my stomach.
I’m suddenly embarrassed. It was stupid to take off my sweatshirt. My stomach is sticking out just enough to not be mistaken for anything else.
“I’m sorry.” He shakes his head. “That was rude. I just can’t believe how well your clothes hide that.” He smiles. “Don’t worry, you look good.”
“Right.” I roll my eyes but really, I’m flattered.
“No, really. It just took me by surprise that’s all.” He points. “May I?”
I nod and his hand touches my stomach, making it hard to find words or coherent thoughts.
He drops his hand, and turns back to the counter where he’s cutting lettuce and tomatoes. “It’s kind of incredible, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know, yet. Mostly it’s just been terrifying.”
“Well, I hope you’re able to soak in some of the miracle of it all, too.”
How can one person hold so much goodness?
“Wow, it smells great in here!” Collette’s voice carries from the entry. She and Tracy step into the dining room just as we finish. I’m proud of myself. There are a lot fewer people to cook for here.
“Michael! What happened to your face?” His mom says as soon as she steps into the kitchen.
Stabs of horrible guilt hit me again.
He laughs. “You can blame John for that one. We were playing ball after school and he got me with his elbow.”
His mom rolled her eyes, “You boys and your sports.”
Yeah. Boys and sports. That’s the problem here. I’m suddenly not sure if I can eat.
10
I get Tracy alone after dinner. She explains that Michael and John were playing ball after school. Daniel busted into the middle of it and got Michael right in the eye without a word. John and Calvin were immediately at his side, and Daniel backed down. I guess I should feel lucky that neither were expelled.
Collette offers for me to stay home on Friday, but I want to keep my grades up. Missing more than one day of trigonometry is generally fatal for me. She drives me to school at the regular time because Michael and Tracy left early for Seminary.
Word of the fight between Michael and Daniel has travelled fast. Apparently most of the student body knows I’m pregnant, and knows I’ve been kicked out of my house. They also know I’m staying with Michael and Tracy, thanks to Daniel. The rumor continues on to say that Michael’s the dad.
Why else would Daniel punch him and why else would I be staying at their house? I feel sick. I deserve for Michael to hate me forever.
I should have known this would happen. I’m the stupid girl who put herself in this situation. I want to run to the office and steal the microphone so I can make some announcement to the school about me and Michael. But really, I just want to go home. I suddenly don’t care about Trig, at least it’s next. Maybe after that I’ll just hide.
I keep my large sweatshirt on, but pull my ponytail out to let the hair fall over my face. I don’t want to be approached, and I don’t want to answer any more questions. I just want the school day to be over so I can have the weekend.
By third period, I realize that without saying a word, either John, Calvin or one of the Mormon girls has made sure to sit next to me. I can’t believe how they’re standing up for me. I wonder if they’d gotten together before the school day or if this just sort of happens when you’re friends. Are we friends? Does running into one another at church and sharing a lunch table make us friends?
Michael takes my hand and slides it through his arm at lunchtime. My heart stops. He feels so good. I haven’t seen him all morning, and I want to apologize. Though I don’t see how a stupid apology can possibly cover it.
“We’re getting out of here.” His voice is quiet.
“Great. I had math this morning so I’m done.” I love the idea of leaving early.
“Tracy’s already out at the car.”
“Wow, okay. Do we need to check out or anything?”
“Nope. All taken care of.”
I raise an eyebrow.
“Taken care of.” His smile is sly.
I wonder how he did it. He’s such a good student he probably just walked to the main office and signed us all out. Who would question Michael Mason?
The moment we step outside, I have to make this mess better, or at least try. “Michael. I am so sorry. I never thought people would think that—”
“Dani.” His voice is soft, and his eyes are so deep. I wait for his hand to touch my face again, but it doesn’t come. “I don’t care what people think.” His voice is so relaxed I almost believe him.
I climb into the car beyond relieved.
“Let’s go grab something delicious and terrible for you.” Tracy says from the back.
“Pizza Hut?” Michael offers.
“Great,” she answers back.
“Does that sound okay to you?” He glances my direction as we pull out.
“I don’t have any money. I mean none.” I can feel my stomach sinking, I feel bad… again.
He laughs. “Don’t worry about it. My dad sends me a bit of an allowance every month. I got it.”
“Always let Michael pay,” Tracy says from the backseat. I can tell she’s smiling without looking.
We bring the pizza home and Tracy turns on Despicable Me. I’m laughing in a way I haven’t in a long time. I change into my pajama pants and take off my bulky sweatshirt. I’m starting to get used to my small belly, and I can’t keep from touching it all the time. Besides, it gets itchier, the more it stretches out. We sit together and laugh and life feels almost normal. Almost.
When Collette gets home, there’s only a few slices left. We’ve all stuffed ourselves silly.
“Dani, I should have waited and taken you with me, but I got you a few things that I’m guessing you’re missing.” She hands me a large grocery bag of toiletries. More than what I’ve ever had at home. “I also got you a pair of maternity jeans. Yours can’t be comfortable.”
She’s right. Mine are killing me.
I can’t even conceive of how I’d pay her back. “I’m sorry, I don’t have…”
She laughs in the same way that both Michael and Tracy had. “We know Dani. Its’ okay.”
“Well, um…thanks.” Again, it just doesn’t seem like enough. Here I am in a practical stranger’s house, eating pizza Michael bought and holding what feels like an enormous, generous gift. How will I ever repay them?
~ ~ ~
For the first time since learning about their church, I’m able to go to church. I wake up on Sunday morning looking forward to my day. How did that happen? I come out of my room to see Tracy and her mother wearing dresses, and my stomach sinks when I realize that I have nothing to wear. Tracy takes my hand and leads me to her room. No words.
“Tracy, my belly’s too big.” I stop next to her bed as she shuts her door behind us.
“It’s not that big.” She rolls her eyes. “Besides you’re smaller than me, and I have a stretchy wrap around dress that I think will work.” She reaches into her closet. The whole thing is just her stuff—way more than I’ve ever had.
She pulls o
ut a soft plum colored material that feels like a T-shirt, and I slide it on. She helps me with the ties that move through the dress to tie it. I’ve never dressed up for church, and I’m not sure why.
My tummy is small but noticeable all the same. I wrap my hands self-consciously around me. “This is so weird.”
“You look cute. Don’t worry.” She digs in her closet. “I have a long black sweater you can wear.” She hands it out behind her. “And this for your hair. Sit.”
I sit on the floor, and she pulls on my hair for a few minutes. I remember doing this with my sisters for hours, but it’s been forever. My eyes close. After a few minutes my hair is all neatly tucked up on top of my head.
For the first time in a long time, I feel pretty. My face shows, and I don’t mind. She hands me some mascara, which I put on, even though we both know you’re not supposed to share.
“Thanks.” I slip on a pair of her black flats, they’re a little big but doable, and walk out to go to church. It’s the first time that pangs of missing my family have hit me hard.
“Oh Dani!” Collette smiles. “You look so pretty.”
“Your daughter said I could borrow clothes…” I start to explain. I’m worried she won’t approve.
“Yep, Tracy has a lot of clothes.” She widens her eyes in mock exasperation, gathers her bag and scriptures, and heads for the door.
Michael stops in his tracks when he sees me. I can’t mistake the look in his eyes for anything but interest. He keeps his eyes on mine as he holds open the door. I’m suddenly warm all over.
Michael drives, Collette rides in the passenger’s seat, and Tracy and I take the back. I’d feel good about this if I didn’t have a belly sticking out in front of me.
~ ~ ~
Everyone comes into the chapel slowly and fairly quietly. There are several big families and kids of every age. Even the babies sit through that hour-long meeting. I look up at Michael as he brings the sacrament to us—broken bread. He nods at me in encouragement to go ahead. I remember talking about this with the missionaries, and it’s fun to see the things I’ve learned being practiced. The room is quiet except for the occasional outburst from a small child or parents bringing children in and out.
It feels both more formal and more casual than what I’m used to. I don’t feel as out of place as I thought I might. I like the hymns and spend a good portion of the meeting looking through the hymnbook. New music to play. The meeting ends with a prayer.
I recognize a few kids I know from school that I didn’t know come here. I guess they’re not all as close as Tracy and Michael’s group.
John, Calvin, and April all come over to say hi before leaving for class.
“Well, Dani, since you’re an adult, you come with me. These two still go to their teenage classes because they like it.” Collette makes a face. Neither of them are moving quite yet.
“Oh. Okay.” I nod.
The Bishop comes toward us.
“Michael.” He reaches out his hand to Michael and then to me, Tracy and Collette. “We need to talk. I know you want to get your paperwork in. We have to set up a time for your official interview.” His eyes are on Michael’s.
“That’d be great.” Michael’s smiling wide. I’m guessing it has something to do with the mission I don’t want to think about.
“And you must be Dani LeClaire.”
“Yes sir,” I say. That’s one thing my father had drilled into me.
He laughs. “Do you have a minute Dani? I’d like to talk with you.”
My whole body tightens in anticipation. What does he want from me? My eyes go to Michael’s, and he nods at me briefly. But then he leans back like he’s trying to keep his distance, and I’m not sure why.
“Yeah. Sure.” But will my feet move to follow him? What does he want?
“I won’t keep you from class long.” Maybe he’s trying to make me feel better by smiling.
I follow him to his office with my arms folded in front of me, chewing on my lower lip, nerves running through me. I sit where he motions for me to sit, and I feel a little like I’m in the principal’s office, only I’ve never been called there before so I don’t know what to expect. I try to tell myself that this isn’t the principal’s office, and I’m not in trouble and everything’s going to be okay…
“Don’t look so nervous, Dani.” He smiles as he sits back in his chair. “I just want to get to know you, and I don’t want to make S ister Mason drive all the way back to the church later on today to do it.”
“Okay.” But I still have no idea what he wants.
“You’ve talked with the missionaries.” He says it like a statement, not a question, but I nod anyway. “With Michael and Tracy,” he continues.
“Yes. They’ve been really great.”
“They’re good kids.” He stops for a moment. “Now Dani, I don’t want you to feel like you need to answer me or like you’re going to be in trouble if you don’t want to talk with someone you barely know. Okay?”
“Okay.” I’m still nervous, and at this point I don’t think anything he can say will help me relax.
“Your father is the pastor over at the Christian Life Center.”
“Yes sir.” My brain can’t formulate what he’s after.
He laughs again. “This isn’t an inquisition. You don’t have to call me sir.”
“Okay.” I let out a breath, trying to relax. “My dad’s been the pastor there since we moved to Alaska when I was about ten.”
“And is this what he’s always done?”
“Yes. Since before he and my mother met.”
“But you don’t live there now.”
“No. I think he could have survived the pregnancy thing, maybe. But the Mormon thing put him over the edge. I don’t know why I told Michael. He’d just said something a long time ago about being adopted, and when I found out I was pregnant, I told him.”
“Well, that answers a few of my other questions.” His hands fold together. “Michael is the best kind of person.”
“They’ve all been really nice, sitting next to me, eating lunch with me. They all watch out for each other.” I’m afraid to agree with him about Michael. Would he get in trouble for liking someone like me? I’m not sure.
He smiles wide. “Well, that’s what we want our youth to do, that’s for sure.”
“Is that all you wanted from me?” I ask. It wasn’t so bad.
“Almost. I’m curious about you. You’ve spent a lot of time learning about our church. Do you think you’ll get baptized?”
“I…um…I don’t know. I started to learn because something about the adoption process felt good, and I’ve just been trying to do things that keep that good feeling around.” I hope he understands because I don’t know how to explain it any better than that.
“That’s great, Dani. Keep following that. It will always lead you down the right path. But, you should also remember that there’s always more than one way to get what you want. You may head down an unexpected path and still make it to the end you set out for in the beginning.”
“Okay.” I have no idea what he’s talking about.
“Michael likes you a lot.”
“He’s been a great friend,” I answer. I’m worried people will think there’s more going on, and I would guess that Michael would rather not have people think that.
“Good.” He rests his hands together in his lap. “You’re in need of good friends right now. If you ever need somewhere to stay, my wife and I are rattling around in our house. All the kids are gone, and you’d have a choice of rooms.”
“Thank you.”
And that’s it. No pressure, no hard questions. He really did just want to know me a little. I feel surprised and then relieved. Tracy sees me walking down the hallway and grabs me so I can spend the rest of church with our high school friends instead of with the adults. I realize it was Collette’s idea. She might be okay with me living there, but she still has her reservations about how much I’m
socializing with other kids my age.
~ ~ ~
When we get home from church, the house stays quiet. Such a change from home. I’m sitting in my bed, using an old laptop of Michaels. Tracy has another one of his old ones. It’s bizarre. What high school student has more laptops than they know what to do with? I’m looking through the pictures I’ve taken when I hear a knock on my door.
“Come in.”
My Forever (The Next Door Boys) Page 8
