TEN
“ENOUGH WITH THE DOOM-AND-GLOOM TALK. Let’s talk about women. Where’s the pretty one?” asked Curt, stepping closer to Jake. “I had to spend my morning with the smelly delivery guy at the restaurant. Every time he bends over, his pants slide down and I get a glimpse of something that sort of burns my retinas. Point me in the direction of hot women.”
Jake spun and grabbed Curt by the front of his sweater. While the three men on the sidewalk were nearly matched in height and build, Jake suddenly felt as if he were ten feet tall as he lifted Curt off the ground, drawing upon his supernatural strength. “Do not even think about touching her.”
“Whoa!” said Hugh, attempting to pry Jake’s clenched fists from Curt’s sweater, without much in the way of success. “Let’s take a deep breath and not kill Curt.”
“Why? You threaten to kill him at least twice a week,” reminded Jake. It was true the men were the best of friends and super competitive.
Hugh nodded. “Fair point, but there are a lot of witnesses here. Might be best to kill him somewhere less public.”
“Gee, thanks,” said Curt, his hands going to Jake’s wrists. “I vote for not killing me at all.”
Jake released the man but glared at him. “Go near her and they’ll never find your body, Warrick.”
Curt fixed his sweater and flashed a huge smile, as if being manhandled was hilarious. To him, it probably was. Curt had a twisted sense of humor. “Oh man. This is great. The last time someone lost their mind like this around a woman it was Hugh with Penelope. I cannot wait to see how this plays out. Maybe the new girl will run you over with her car like Penelope did to Hugh. Worked out well in the end for them.”
“Don’t remind me that my wife hit me with a hybrid car,” grumbled Hugh. “That is so embarrassing.”
“And you running around saying ‘whoops-a-daisy’ wasn’t?” asked Curt, bringing up the fact Hugh had accidentally drunk a potion made by Polly that had left him saying child-friendly words in place of the curse ones he’d relied so heavily upon. The entire ordeal had been beyond comical to everyone but Hugh.
Hugh gave his friend a sideways stare. “Kiss my beehive, Warrick.”
“What did Wilber mean by you being suddenly ungraceful, Jake?” asked Curt.
Jake glanced in at the woman once more and knew Wilber would tell Hugh all about it later. There was no point in trying to hide it. “I might have taken one look at her and walked right into the gumball machine over there. Unfortunately, Wilber saw the whole thing.”
Curt and Hugh laughed but were nice enough to attempt to cover it with coughs.
Jake knew it could have been worse. Sigmund could have been back in Everlasting, joining in with them. Though he had a touch more class than Hugh and Curt. He’d have been polite enough to turn around before laughing at Jake’s predicament.
“This is going to be great,” said Curt out of the side of his mouth to Hugh, as if Jake couldn’t hear him. “Watching you wag your tail for Penelope was the highlight of my October. Well, that and finding out Sigmund nearly ate you.”
Hugh shoved Curt, making Curt laugh more.
Jake tensed. What did Curt mean by that? He couldn’t possibly think Jake was going to fall head over heels for a woman he hadn’t even officially met yet, did he?
Jake’s gaze returned to her. She was holding a vase, nodding as Wilber talked. She looked thoroughly engrossed. It was easy to see she had a love of old things. She tipped her head back and laughed, and the sight made Jake moan softly as need slammed through him.
Curt snorted. “This is perfect.”
Hugh stepped up next to him and glanced through the shop window. “Hey, we met her the other morning. It’s the girl from the bus.”
Curt perked and pushed between Hugh and Jake. “Oh, it is! What did she say her name was? Kelsey?”
“I think so, yeah,” said Hugh. “Oh no. If she’s hanging at the antiques shop, that means she’s probably met my wife. Just what Penelope needs, another strong-willed woman to bond with. Like I’m not ganged up on enough as it is by her and Anna.”
Curt laughed. “Must be hard to be surrounded by all that hotness.”
Jake and Hugh growled at Curt.
Curt shrugged. “What? Come on, admit it. Penelope and Kelsey are total babes.”
Hugh leaned back and stared past Curt at Jake. “Never mind. Go ahead and kill him.”
“You suck as a best friend,” said Curt, stepping back slightly as if he wasn’t sure if Jake might take Hugh up on the offer.
“What are we doing?” asked Petey Williams, who was suddenly behind them with a to-go cup from Chickadee’s Diner. “Are we window-shopping for antiques? Huh. Didn’t peg any of you for big antiques fans.”
Hugh stepped back from the window first. “Petey, you’ve been scarce around town the last few days. You’re not getting into any trouble, are you?”
Petey winked. “Me? Never.”
Jake took a deep breath and noticed Petey didn’t smell like whiskey like he normally did. Confused, he stared harder at the man. While he wasn’t what anyone would call clean-cut, he was put together more than normal. As if he’d spent more than four seconds getting dressed in the morning.
Hugh touched Petey. “You all right?”
“Yep, why?”
“I’m not sure how to say this, but, well…you’re sober and you don’t smell like you bathed in whiskey,” admitted Hugh. “Not that I’m complaining or anything. Plus, Monte and Sam mentioned you haven’t been up to the Magic Eight Ball the last couple of nights.”
“Been busy with other stuff,” said Petey nonchalantly, without going into depth. “So, what are we doing staring in Wil’s shop window? This is kind of strange, even for me.”
Curt motioned his head in the direction of the window. “We’re checking out the new girl in town.”
“Kelsey?” asked Petey, surprising all the men by knowing who the newcomer was.
“You know her?” asked Jake, his gaze returning to the woman.
She was deep in conversation with Wilber near the register. The two were smiling and talking.
“Oh sure. I think she has the hots for me. Most women do,” said Petey, adjusting his knit cap with one hand before taking a sip from the straw of his to-go cup. He slurped the liquid loudly and then burped. “I let her down easy though. Told her that I only have eyes for one woman. Kelsey took the news all right. Looks like she’s on the rebound with Wilber though. Sucks to be second choice.”
Hugh bent his head and laughed silently.
Curt looked pained as he tried to hold in his laughter.
Jake stared wide-eyed into the shop window. Wilber wouldn’t dare make a move on a woman so much younger than him, would he?
He’s younger than me.
The thought made him pale. Wilber was only two hundred. Jake had the man by three centuries. If anyone shouldn’t be entertaining romantic notions of the new woman in town, it was Jake.
Curt grabbed Jake’s shoulder and shook him in a playful manner. “Dude, breathe. I really don’t think she’s going to fall for Wilber or his charms.”
“Messing has charms?” asked Hugh. “Huh, news to me.”
“Oh, Messing has big-time game. Used to have all the women around here following around after him in his day. Some still do. Well, the ones I don’t want, that is.” Petey puffed out his chest.
“You’re a total player, Petey. A stud,” said Curt, giving the man a salute. “I want to be you when I grow up.”
Hugh laughed. “Careful, I found him walking around naked except for a pair of socks while he was reading the morning paper last week down at the marina. That could be your future.”
Curt winced.
Petey slurped his drink again. “What? I’d just got out of the bath and I was letting Mother Nature air dry me. When you get to my age, things sag and hold water where they shouldn’t. You take every ounce of help you can get.”
Jake and Hugh cringed.
<
br /> “It’s not exactly warm out,” said Curt, stating the obvious.
“Yep. That helps things be less saggy.”
Jake choked on nothing and pounded on his chest.
Hugh bent his head and rubbed above his eye as if Petey was giving him a headache.
Curt snorted.
Petey motioned to Hugh, who was in a t-shirt again. “He barely wears clothes.”
“Everything on me that should be covered is,” said Hugh.
“Because your wife would have your hide. I don’t have to answer to any woman. I’m my own man,” Petey said proudly. “No woman tells me what to do.”
“Oh Petey,” yelled Polly from across the street. “Can you take Herman for his afternoon walk?”
“Coming,” replied Petey, rushing away.
“Oh yeah. He’s his own man all right,” mocked Curt before joining Jake in watching the new woman in the shop. “Are you going in there or are you planning to stand out here all day? This might be creepy.”
“Might be?” asked Hugh. “Three grown men staring in a shop window at a woman. No. Not the least bit creepy.”
He had a point. Jake adjusted his gun belt, trying to get a handle on his nerves. “I’m going in.”
“Really? This century? Because it doesn’t look like you’re making any progress in the forward motion department,” said Curt, earning him a hard stare from Jake.
Jake didn’t budge. Turns out he was having trouble getting his feet to cooperate.
Curt knocked on the window, drawing the attention of both Wilber and the woman. He then proceeded to wave.
Jake wanted to duck out of view, as if he were a child rather than a grown man. The smug expression on Wilber’s face was the only thing that kept Jake from running the other way. He would not give the man the satisfaction of seeing him wimp out again.
Jake squared his shoulders and adjusted his gun belt yet again.
Curt nodded and patted Jake’s upper back. “You’ve got this.”
“Good luck,” said Hugh. “I’d go in as your wingman but Penelope has banned me from the premises because she says I hover and worry too much.”
Curt eyed him. “She’s not wrong.”
“I know, but I worry about her and the baby,” confessed Hugh. “Just wait. When you’re mated, you’ll see what I mean.”
“Not me,” said Curt with pride. “But Jake is looking like he might be the next victim of Cupid’s arrow.”
“What?” asked Jake, sweat beading quickly on his brow at the thought.
Hugh shook his head and dragged Curt down the street. “Break a leg, March.”
“But not Messing’s gumball machine, or he might really break your leg,” supplied Curt as the men headed away.
ELEVEN
NERVOUSLY, Jake entered the antiques shop and took a few paces in before glancing at the counter to find the woman still there. The second she looked at him, their gazes locked. For a moment, Jake forgot how to breathe as it felt like he was falling down a tunnel that led directly to her.
It wasn’t until Wilber grabbed him that the sensation stopped. Confused, Jake glanced at Wilber, wondering why it was the man was holding his arm and yanking him. It took Jake a second to realize he’d been close to knocking over a cabinet full of antique breakables.
“Sorry,” said Jake, knowing his cheeks were reddening.
There had never been a point in his long life when he could recall being this clumsy and this nervous around a woman. Around anyone for that matter.
Wilber wiped his hand over his mouth, failing to hide his amusement with the situation. “That’s the way of it then?”
“Way of what?” asked the woman, the very sound of her voice was like music to Jake’s ears. Short of a ray of light shining upon her, there was no way she could be more angelic.
Wilber put his hand on Jake’s shoulder. “Breathe, son.”
Great suggestion. Why hadn’t he thought of that?
Jake inhaled slowly, a bit worried he’d pass out.
“Are you okay?” asked the woman, concern on her face.
“Kelsey, it might be best you give Deputy March here a moment,” said Wilber, amusement in his voice. “I’m a bit afraid if you talk to him that, he’ll keep on like a bull in a china shop—or would it be a horse in a china shop? He’s already nearly taken out the gumball machine, the newspaper machine, and that cabinet back there. I’m a little worried to see what he’ll walk into next.”
Jake opened his mouth to dispute Wilber’s statement but found himself at a loss for words—totally and completely tongue-tied.
Think. Think. Think. He focused on how green Kelsey’s eyes were. All that did was make it harder for him to concentrate. Had he said anything yet? He wasn’t sure.
Wilber laughed, and it sounded genuine.
Kelsey came around from behind the counter, and Jake got a better look at her. He wasn’t sure how it was possible, but the woman managed to be even more attractive up close. “Wow.”
Wow? Tell me I did not just say wow. Crap. I said wow. I’ve got about as much game as Petey.
Wilber laughed again.
The sight of the man taking so much pleasure from Jake’s predicament helped him gain his focus. He cleared his throat, which suddenly felt very dry, and looked to Kelsey.
“You stole a ring,” he said, the words falling out before he could say what he wanted to say—not that he even fully remembered what he’d been about to say.
Her eyes widened. “What? No! I swear I didn’t take it.”
Wilber went to her side. “I know you didn’t take it, Kelsey. What I’d like to know is how Deputy March even found out a ring was missing, and why it is he thinks you took it?”
Kelsey’s hand went to her hip. “I’d like to know that too.”
Wilber gave him a pointed stare. “You really like accusing women you just met of crimes, don’t you? You’d think you’d have learned after what happened with my granddaughter. Guess old horses can’t learn new tricks.”
“Isn’t the saying about teaching dogs, not horses?” asked Kelsey, bewilderment showing on her face.
Wilber grinned. “Sorry. Slip of the tongue.”
“I didn’t…well, erm, I mean okay, I did accuse her.” Jake stopped speaking, realizing he wasn’t helping himself. Taking a deep, calming breath, he regained his composure at least slightly. Enough to think—somewhat. “I’m Deputy March, erm, Majoy. Deputy Majoy.”
Wilber didn’t bother to hide his rather loud snort. “You had it right the first time. Call him March. He loves it, Kelsey.”
She glanced at him and bit at her lower lip.
The tiny grasp Jake had on his focus was lost instantly as he thought about kissing the very lip she was biting.
Wilber stepped closer to him and put his back to Kelsey, his hand coming to rest on Jake’s shoulder. He leaned in and lowered his voice. “You okay?”
“I don’t think so,” replied Jake, his gaze never leaving Kelsey. “She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and have you smelled her? She smells like orange blossoms and water lilies.”
Wilber lifted a bushy brow. “Son, I didn’t know there was a romantic bone in your body. Might I suggest you get ahold of yourself before you frighten the poor girl off with talking about her smell?”
Jake locked gazes with Wilber. “It’s so perfect.”
Kelsey gasped, drawing Jake from the moment, and making him realize what he’d said in front of her. He wanted to kick himself. And the second Wilber told Hugh and the other guys, Jake would never live it down. They’d make fun of him for months.
Maybe longer.
Reluctantly, Jake’s gaze returned to Kelsey. When he found her smiling at him, his lips twitched before he returned the smile. He ran a hand nervously through his unruly hair. He was about to apologize for accusing her of stealing the missing ring when music suddenly came on from the corner of the shop.
Not just any music.
Barry White.
Wilber was there, near a record player, grinning innocently. Jake had never even heard the man walk away, he’d been that focused on Kelsey.
Wilber shrugged. “What? I found this the other day in one of my extra rooms and thought it might be nice to dust it off. Felt like a good time to see if it still worked.”
“Did it now?” asked Jake, his ire with the man rising.
Wilber clicked his tongue. “Yep. Think of it as a soundtrack to your awkward meeting of the shop’s newest employee.”
Jake gave the man a hard look until he finally stopped the music. Wilber continued to grin as he headed for the door that connected his home to the shop. “I need to get a fresh cup of tea. Will that give you long enough to ask her out to a proper dinner or would you rather grunt, fall into something expensive, and then run out of here?”
Jake opened his mouth to snap back but realized the man was trying to help him out. Never in a million years had Jake thought Wilber would end up being his wingman.
“And do try to avoid of accusing her of any more crimes,” said Wilber before he shut the door behind him.
Kelsey exhaled loudly. “This town is so weird. I love it.”
If she liked weird, she was in the right place. “Where are you from?”
She eyed him. “Why? Want to put it in your police report?”
“Trying my best to make small talk before I lead up to asking you out to dinner with me,” he said with all honesty. His palms felt sweaty, and his knees were a touch weak. Neither were things that had happened to him before.
“No offense, Deputy March, but you should really just skip straight to the asking-me-out-for-dinner part.” She winked, easing some of his nerves. “Those vases you’re standing near have really big price tags on them, and you seem to have two left feet.”
Laughing softly, Jake eased closer, wanting to touch her but resisting. It was difficult. “Would you like to have dinner with me, or go out for drinks maybe? You are old enough to drink, aren’t you? At my age, it’s hard to tell.”
She drew back slightly. “At your age? What are you, twenty-nine? Thirty maybe?”
Total Eclipse of The Hunt: A Cozy Paranormal Mystery (The Happily Everlasting Series Book 5) Page 8
