by Zoey Parker
Sarah sat down hard on the bed, thinking about the faces of the children outside and wondering if she was about to have one of her own. The thought seemed distant, unreal, especially in the middle of everything else she was dealing with—like a flying saucer suddenly appearing over a battlefield.
She'd need to take a test the next day. She'd need to be sure.
But if it turned out that she was pregnant, what then?
Chapter 26
Kurt
After a night in the infirmary's secure room, Kurt was sent back to his cell. River Oak's resources were limited, and usually, anyone who was injured seriously enough to stay for more than a day was shipped off to a secure wing in a regular hospital until they healed.
Kurt winced with each step forward, his ribs aching furiously. His nose and arm were still bandaged, and since prisoners weren't given painkillers once they left the infirmary—out of fear that they'd use them as currency—they still stung and throbbed. But he'd fought his way through plenty of pain before, and he was sure he'd be able to this time, too.
If one of his fellow inmates didn't kill him first, of course.
As he stepped out into the prison yard during rec time, Wilder approached him with a big smile. “Kurt, you're alive! Thank God, man. When we heard what happened to you in the showers, we feared the worst. If only you'd done the little thing Hawkeye asked of you instead of acting like some kind of hardass, we could've been there to protect you.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. Christ, even that made his face hurt. “What the fuck do you want, Wilder?”
Wilder pulled his shirt up for a second, flashing a shiv tucked into his waistband. “To give you a chance to square things with Hawkeye, dude. You've gotta know that none of this shit was personal. Hell, Hawkeye wasn't even gonna let those Sinners snuff you—he told Gable to come back after they'd cut you a little, just to teach you a lesson.”
“Four of them, one of me, and one of them had a blade. I'm curious, how many minutes did Hawkeye tell Gable to wait? What's the equation on that one? Sounds like a real exact science.”
“Hey, believe what you want, but Hawkeye still says you're too valuable an asset to waste if we can help it. We just need you to get with the program, that's all. We can't have you jumping bad in here, thinking you're too good for the likes of us. It makes us look like we can't handle our shit. But if you whack a couple of the Sinners—and I mean really fuck them up, like a total bloodbath—you'll be on Hawkeye's good side again, and you'll have our full protection.”
“Hawkeye still thinks he can send a message to the Sinners that way?” Kurt asked. “He really thinks that'll scare them off? It was a dumb plan when he first came up with it, and it's a dumb plan now. Not interested.”
Wilder sighed. “Fucking incorrigible, ain't you? Everything's got to be the hard way with you. Okay. But you should know that your girlfriend Martin won't always be there to watch your ass. We've got plenty of ways to take her out of the picture, if it comes to that. And the next time you get taken to the shower, it'll just be you and a bunch of Sinners pummeling you. Think it over. You've got until after lunch to change your mind.”
Kurt did think it over as he ate his lunch alone in the cafeteria, but no bright ideas came to him. He knew Wilder wasn't wrong—he'd gotten lucky yesterday when Sarah intervened, but Hawkeye could work lots of different angles to make sure he didn't get that lucky again.
Part of him wished he could just shrug, take the damn shiv, and end a couple of the Sinners to dig himself out of this hole, if only temporarily. He wouldn't exactly be taking an innocent life—there was a reason they were called the “Nation of Sinners,” after all. Most of them were in here for violent crimes of one kind or another.
But that was part of what bothered him. He was in River Oak for a violent crime too. Did that make him a fair target if someone else needed to get in good with their gang? Sure, maybe the Sinner he picked would be doing time for cold-blooded murders. But what if it was just some jerk like him, who stomped someone who needed to be stomped and found himself in this place?
For that matter, what if the target he chose wasn't in here for anything violent? What if he was just some low-level drug dealer from the projects who was trying to feed his family and got put away for his trouble? The Dogs had sold plenty of drugs in their time. It wasn't a capital offense.
Or what if it was some unlucky loser like Kareem, who was only in here because he'd been in the wrong place at the wrong time?
So if he made the decision to execute these guys, could he live with it? Probably not. And if he could, he'd probably still be caught, tried, convicted, and maybe even sentenced to lethal injection.
And if none of that happened, he'd still be Hawkeye's errand boy. And he'd be goddamned if he'd take orders from Nazis, no matter what the consequences to him personally.
But what about the consequences to Sarah? his mind whispered urgently. You can stand tall and be brave all you want, but you know they'll take it out on her. They want her to fall in line as much as they want you to—having another guard on their payroll would be a huge asset to them—but eventually, you know they'll find ways to punish her.
Kurt shook his head, trying to clear it. Every time his brain tried to find a way out of this predicament, the snare around it seemed to draw tighter and tighter. When they'd been together yesterday, Sarah told him they'd find a way out of this together, and he trusted her. She was smarter and braver than he'd ever imagined she could be.
Meanwhile, he'd just have to try to get through this mess one step at a time. And the first step was not to act from fear by trying to kill a couple of Sinners. That wouldn't solve his problems, no matter how much Wilder insisted that it would.
Kurt glanced at the table where the Peacekeepers were eating together, and briefly considered trying to join them. They were the only other group in River Oak who allowed people of his color to join, and there were so many of them, they might be able to protect him. Maybe they could even help him think of a way out of this shitstorm.
He chuckled to himself, returning to the food on his tray. It would never work. From the way Keith had looked at him, Kurt knew he'd sized him up as an unrepentant outlaw. Someone like Keith wouldn't be fooled by a cock-and-bull story about how Kurt had suddenly seen the light and become a do-gooder. He'd give another “stand up and be a man” sermon, no doubt, but he wouldn't stick his neck out for the likes of Kurt.
A few tables away from the Peacekeepers, the Brothers and Dogs were eating together. Most of the Aryans were leering at Kurt, and several of them whispered and laughed among themselves. Wilder drew his index finger across his throat in a “You're dead” gesture. The Dogs looked more subdued, and Bear had a look of concern on his face.
Kurt could almost hear Bear's thoughts from across the room: Do it. Just do what they say. Go along to get along. I know it sucks, but it worked for me, and it can work for you too.
Kurt hoped Bear could hear his thoughts in return: You're a coward. Fuck you.
He finished his bland meal, and the men were rounded up to head back to cell block G. As they got there, an alarm started blaring, and Gable rushed in with a dozen other COs.
“Lock down! Lock down! Get in your cells right now, and put your backs up against the walls.”
Kurt hurried into his cell, with Wilder right behind him. He waited for the barred doors to slide shut, but instead, he heard a cadre of guards going from cell to cell and searching them carefully. The rest stood in the center of the cell block, making sure the inmates stayed against the walls.
“What the fuck is this now?” Kurt asked.
“Gee, roomie, I don't know,” Wilder answered teasingly. “Maybe a couple of Sinners got sliced and diced real bad. Maybe the hacks just found the body, and now they're looking for the murder weapon.”
A horrible thought crept into Kurt's head as he looked at his own mattress. He started toward it, but one of the guards smacked her baton against the bars. “Get the
fuck back against the wall, before I put your head through it.”
Wilder smirked. “Easy there, killer. You heard them. Unless you've got something to hide...?”
Gable swaggered into their cell a few minutes later. He gave Kurt a toothy smile as he lifted the lower mattress, revealing a bloody shiv.
“Well, well, look what we have,” Gable sneered. The other guards moved to grab Kurt, dragging him out.
“That isn't mine. Someone else put it there.”
Gable threw his head back and laughed. “Now that's one I've never heard before.”
“Look at me, asshole,” Kurt said, gesturing to his injured arm and ribs. “Do I look like I'm in any shape to use that thing?”
“So I guess elves just flew into your cell and planted it, huh? Save it, pal. I’ve got two dead inmates and a bloody shiv. You're headed to the hole. What shape you're in when you get there is up to you.”
So Kurt let himself get led to the lowest level of River Oak, where thick iron doors lined a narrow concrete hallway. Gable threw him into the last cell on the left, and the door slammed hard behind him—a sound like fate itself.
“Now you just stay there and behave yourself,” Gable said through the grated slit on the door, “and if you're a real good boy, I'll send some guys down later to tuck you in.”
Then he was gone, and Kurt was alone to wonder what disaster would strike next.
Chapter 27
Sarah
News traveled fast in prison, and Sarah heard about what happened to Kurt less than an hour after the Ad-Seg door shut behind him. She heard London tell Rodriguez, but from the smug look on London's face and the way his eyes kept flickering over to her, she could tell the news was really meant for her.
Her heart felt like it had been replaced by a cannonball. Stealing a few private moments with Kurt in the infirmary or the stairwell was one thing, but Ad-Seg was kept under tight watch, due to the dangerous men down there. There were plenty of surveillance cameras, and the COs who were posted there were loyal to Gable. If she tried to visit Kurt or even get a message to him, she'd be found out immediately.
Worse, she knew that plenty of “accidents” and “suicides” had previously claimed the lives of inmates in Ad-Seg. It wasn't difficult for a group of guards—either on orders from a gang, or just for their own amusement—to cheat the cameras, string someone up or slit their wrists, then act surprised when the convict was found dead the next morning.
Kurt had been thrown into the most hazardous part of River Oak, and there was no way for her to protect him or even try to comfort him. Her mind kept flashing gory images of Gable and his men savaging Kurt in a million different ways.
When her shift ended, Sarah went to the women’s locker room and changed out of her uniform, desperately trying to think of a solution that would get her and Kurt out of there as soon as possible. But her thoughts were clouded by the previous night.
She needed to pick up a pregnancy test on the way home today to be sure, but if it was positive, she couldn't imagine what she'd do next. She'd done some quick research online and found out that female COs who got pregnant were able to work in prisons right up to maternity leave—but they were given light duty far from the inmates, to prevent lawsuits.
In other words, she'd be banished to some department where she wouldn't be able to help Kurt, or see him, even if he magically found a way out of the hole.
Once she'd crisply folded her uniform, Sarah reached for her civilian clothes and noticed something tucked under them. She reached under, picked it up, looked at it for half a second—and then gasped and tossed it away quickly, as though it were a venomous spider.
It was a small plastic bag filled with jagged beige rocks of crack cocaine.
“Why, Officer Martin,” a voice behind her drawled. “Shame on you.”
Sarah turned, putting her hands over her body protectively. She was still in her bra and panties. Captain Gable was leaning against the lockers with his huge arms folded in front of him. His scarred lip was twisted upward in a smile.
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” Sarah hissed angrily. “You're not supposed to be in the women's locker room! I could report you for this.”
Gable shrugged. “But I'm not in the women's locker room. I'm at the other end of the prison, with four other guards who could testify to that effect. So it'd be my word against yours, and once they found all that rock you've got there, who on earth would believe you?”
“That's not mine, and you know it.”
“How do I know that? It's in your locker. It's got your fingerprints on it. And if anyone looks into your background closely enough, they'll find out you're connected to the Dogs. So one plus one equals a guard getting paid to smuggle narcotics into a correctional facility. How do you think that'll end for you? Once you're locked away in some other prison, how long do you think it'll take the other girls on the cell block to find out you were a CO? How long do you think you'll survive?”
“Anyone could see through that,” Sarah replied. “Everyone knows the Dogs in here don't do drugs, and they don't sell them, either.”
“You think any of those details are going to matter? You think when these things go to trial, people give a hoot about what goes on between guards and convicts? They don't care. They don't want to hear about it. 'Out of sight, out of mind,' that's how the average person feels about prisons. The judge will smack his gavel, send you to the slam, and then go back to cases involving real people.”
Sarah sighed. “Fine. So what is this? Because we both know if you were really going to turn me in for what you planted in my locker, you wouldn't be standing there crowing about it.”
“You're right. I'm not planning to tell anyone about it this time. This is just a warning, and lady, you'd better believe it's your last one. No more stuff like what happened in the showers. No more sticking your neck out for Kurt. If I even suspect you're daydreaming about helping him, you're going to be in cuffs and doing the perp walk faster than you can say 'Harley Davidson.' Am I being fairly clear?”
Sarah swallowed hard, then nodded.
“Good,” Gable grunted, turning to leave. “Now get out of here. And get rid of that bag.”
Once he was gone, Sarah put on her clothes, staring hatefully at the crack rocks. She supposed she'd have to flush them when she got home, but the idea of having them in the car with her while she drove was unnerving. What if she got pulled over? What if they decided to search her car for some reason, or no reason at all?
“Goddamn you, Gable,” she thought fiercely. “I'll make you pay for this. I don't know how, but somehow, someday, I'll find a way to wipe that smirk off your ugly face.”
She walked out to the parking lot, turned on her car, and carefully circled it to make sure all the lights were working. Then she drove home, making sure to stay at least five miles below the speed limit.
She didn't stop to pick up the pregnancy test.
Instead, she went straight home, tossed the rocks into the toilet, flushed it...then vomited and flushed it again.
Chapter 28
Sarah
When Sarah woke up the next morning, she cursed herself for not buying the pregnancy test. Her fear of being pulled over the previous day seemed silly now, compared to the panic of not knowing whether there was a baby growing inside her.
Nothing for it now, though. She wouldn't have another chance to get one until that evening, after her shift. She briefly contemplated buying one on the way into work and running the test in the bathroom, but she was too concerned about being watched. For all she knew, Gable could have the other guards spying on her, and they might find the results in the trash and use them against her somehow. She didn't know how, but she'd become accustomed to the idea that these people would find a way to use just about anything against her.
Besides, whatever the results were, she couldn't allow herself to be distracted by them today. Not when she was trying to formulate a plan. She had the beginning of an
idea, but it would be extremely risky, and it could even open her up to additional threats to her well-being.
Still, she had to try. She had to do something. If she remained passive, and let bad things keep happening to her instead of going on the offensive, she knew she'd go insane.
She drove to River Oak and changed into her uniform in the locker room again. This time, she was careful to make sure she was alone, and she searched her locker for any more contraband that might have been planted there. She didn't find any.
Once she checked in for her shift at cell block G, Sarah went through her usual routine of ferrying inmates to and from the showers until all of them had had a chance to clean themselves. Then she casually stopped by Roberto Torres's cell, where he was playing checkers with his cellmate.
“Let's go, Torres. Dr. Spector wants to see you.”
