Protector shook her head sharply. "You know not of what you speak, little one. It is not yet time for us to leave this place."
The tone in her voice signaled the end of the conversation, and Lila sighed and dropped the subject. As she stared at her guardian's hunched, tense shoulders, she felt there was more to the story. She wished she dared press for more details, but she knew better than to push Protector when she was in this kind of mood. In a gesture of rebellion that Protector couldn't see, she stuck the end of her hair back in her mouth and chewed it thoughtfully as she studied the map in front of her.
Lila woke with a start when Seeker jumped up and began violently scratching at an itch on one ear. Grumbling, she rubbed her eyes and stretched gingerly, supressing a groan. Hard concrete did not make a very pleasant bed, even if it wasn't the worst place she had slept. She suddenly remembered the pot of water she had set near the fire, and found it boiling rapidly with about an inch of the water evaporated. Wrapping the hem of her shirt around her hand, she set the pot outside the ring of stones to cool, blowing on her fingers when the hot metal scorched her through the fabric. The steam rising from the pot wafted the smell of boiled deer meat and onions into her face, making her stomach growl loudly.
The bed across the fire was empty, and a quick glance around showed Lila that Katie was sitting at the mouth of the tunnel, silhouetted by the pink and gray of predawn light. Outside, a lone wolf howled. The sun had not yet risen above the horizon to the east. As Lila rose and quietly walked to sit a few feet away from Katie, the other girl gasped and jumped a little. "You are too quiet!"
"Sorry," Lila apologized, sitting down at the lip of the tunnel and hanging her legs over the edge. "I didn't mean to be." She dipped her hand in the little stream where it splashed over the edge and down the cliff to the ground below and splashed outward, watching the drops glisten in the still air. "Did you sleep well?"
Katie shook her head. Her color was better than last night, though there were still shadows under her eyes. "I'm not used to hearing the howls of wolves so close at night. It fills my dreams with the image of them standing all around me. How do you bear it?"
“It isn't easy, but you'll get used to it. Until the wolves learn to fly or climb like the squirrels, we are safe up here.”
Katie's lips twitched in a hint of a smile. “Good to know.” She fell silent, gazing out toward the rising sun. “I'm sure you have lots of questions,” She said after a while.
Lila bit back a sarcastic answer. “Yes.” That's the understatement of the millennium she thought, remembering one of Protector's favorite sayings.
“I know I've made it pretty obvious I'm not used to living out here like you do.”
When Lila realized that Katie wanted more of an answer than a nod, she shrugged and said “I guess so.”
Katie's shoulders slumped and she looked down, placing a hand on the ruffled purple fabric over her belly, running her fingers along a rip in the cloth. She was silent for so long that Lila began to wonder if the young woman had fallen asleep. When she finally spoke, it was with a vehemence that made Lila blink and Seeker sit up from where she was laying at Lila's side.
“We were exiled, offered to the wolves like a sacrifice to an angry god. And all for a few stupid loaves of bread!” Katie had pulled a leaf from her hair and flicked it violently off the edge of the tunnel. “When I first got pregnant, I was always hungry and weak. I was expected to work just like all of the other women, but I was too tired. My husband snuck some bread from the pantry for me. One day he was caught and we were both put on trial. In the Fox village, taking food is against the law, and nobody cared that I was hungry,” a stick joined the leaf “and needed the food to keep my energy up. We were found to be guilty, and we were carried on horseback in opposite directions and left in the forest with enough food and water for a few days.”
“Fox village?”
Katie nodded, looking out over the forest as she worked the fingers of one hand through her matted hair. “It's on the edge of Antoch, the old city. There's two villages, Fox is the stronger one. The village leader is a great, fat slug named Jarda. She's had it in for me ever since I married her son without her approval instead of the stupid grunt she wanted me to marry. Then I had the nerve to go and get pregnant and it just drove her crazy.” Katie flung another leaf out into the void. “I still can't believe she would exile her son, her own flesh and blood! And over food! She's just a horrible, vengeful, idiotic, gluttonous piece of...” Katie's angry demeanor crumpled and she burst into sobs, burying her face in her hands.
Lila sat watching her awkwardly, not sure what to do. Was she supposed to leave Katie alone, or keep talking? Her desire for more information struggled with a wish to comfort her sobbing companion. So it was true, what Protector had told her--not only were there survivors in the city ruins, they were exactly as the older woman had said. Harsh laws, unfriendly. Here, less than a dozen feet away from Lila, sat proof that not only was she not alone, there were many others--but there was also the sinking feeling that came with the knowledge that even if Lila were to find them, neither she nor Katie would be welcome. It went against everything Lila knew to think that there were people that did not wish to help fellow survivors of the wolves' tyranny, who would condemn a pregnant woman to almost certain death over stealing food. She could hardly imagine that such evil existed in human hearts--up until now she had always pictured humans as the good, wolves as the evil in her view of the harsh world she lived in. It was hard to comprehend that the world was not as black and white as she had always believed.
Katie continued to sob, and Lila shifted uncomfortably. Seeker whined, and padded over to nudge the crying girl gently with her nose, but Katie just jerked back. "Go away!" she yelled at the dog, shoving her with one hand. Seeker ran back to Lila's side.
Lila gasped in shock and jumped up. She often struck the dog, but always gently and usually in jest. To see someone else strike her best friend made her heart start to race. "Seeker did nothing to hurt you! Why would you hit her?"
Katie's hands dropped and she glared at Lila through her tears. "She's an animal! Just like those demon wolves! Why would you care if she gets hurt? She's just like them! She'll probably go off and lead the wolves right to us the first chance she gets! She's just a stupid, mindless, fat pig that should be ground into the dust under the foot of any decent human! I ought to wring her stupid little neck!" She pushed herself to her feet and stumbled forward, but Lila moved to stand between her and the cringing dog.
"You will not hurt her!" She cried, feeling the unfamiliar stinging of tears pricking at her eyes. "She has done nothing to you!"
There was a loud smack and pain blossomed on her face as Lila reeled back. Her hand came up to touch her cheek where Katie had slapped her. Seeker barked and lunged forward, but Lila crouched and caught the dog before she could attack. Katie staggered and seemed to fold in on herself, sinking down to the floor and clutching her knees, where she sat rocking back and forth. "She will betray you!" She cried. "They always betray you! You can't trust anyone! You trust someone and next thing you know they plunge a knife in your back! Just take her away," she sobbed, arms around her legs, hiccuping with the sobs that wracked her body.
Resisting the urge to grab Katie and shake her, Lila strode back to the fire, her hands shaking with anger. Her heart thudded with the unfamiliar emotion, and the burning in her eyes intensified as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. Pulling one of the strips of meat out of the pot, she ignored how the still hot water stung her hands. She bit off half of the strip and threw the rest to Seeker. Her stomach roiled even at this small amount of food, clenching with the intensity of the anger flooding through her veins. She didn't stop at the fire, but kept going until she reached the pile of her belongings. She tossed aside the box that held her dwindling stock of sewing supplies, the large pot that had rusted through and no longer held water, and the rock she kept for sharpening her knife. She pulled out the orange and bl
ack striped backpack, checking to make sure the yellow flashlight and batteries were still in there, then slung it on her back, the hard plastic end of the flashlight thumping painfully into her spine. In one smooth movement, contrary to the harsh rhythm of the anger flooding her veins, Lila jumped to her feet and took off down the tunnel away from the light of the rising sun, running upstream besides the trickling water that divided her home in two.
The dusky darkness of the tunnel soon welcomed her into its grasp as she passed beyond where her fire or the pink gleam of sunrise could reach. The ceiling soared into obscurity above her head, and in front of her loomed what would have been called a “grate” if it were smaller, but in this instance was a vast network of metal bars as thick as Lila's arms that created a grid spanning the width and height of the tunnel. Just beyond, the tunnel split into three dark circles.
Lila slid her backpack underneath the lowest horizontal bar and ducked through a square. Seeker crawled through on her belly just behind Lila.
A moment later, Lila had pulled the flashlight out and flicked the switch to allow the beam of light to shine ahead of her. She ran into the left branch, wanting as much space between her and Katie as possible lest she do something she regret. Eventually the angle of the tunnel took her out of sight of the grate and she sunk to the ground, the flashlight cradled loosely in her hands. Tears streamed freely down her face as sobs caught in her throat, making her feel as if her heart would suffocate her. Her chest ached and the tears burned as they ran down her face. Seeker whined, licking her face, and Lila wound a hand into the dog's fur, burying her face against one bony shoulder blade.
Why? She wanted to scream at the lifeless walls. How could I have been so wrong? How could I have been so stupid? She asked herself fiercely. Over the long, lonely years she had painted a glowing picture in her mind. She would find another survivor, perhaps rescue them from the wolves. She would bring them to her cave, they would be just as happy as she to have a friend, the two (or more) of them would live happily, taking an equal share of each day's burden, and she would have someone to talk to through the long and lonely nights.
How could she have forgotten that human hearts held evil too? Many days, that glowing picture in her head had been all that kept her going after a particularly exhausting night or a day when she had caught nothing and the growls of her stomach added to the sounds that filled the night. When her legs ached and her head spun with the dizziness of hunger, she would call up the thought of one day being free to rest, to breathe. The thought of finding another survivor had been the hope that kept her from giving up completely on the days when she wanted to lay on the ground in the forest and let the wolves take her. It was the thread that knitted her broken heart back together on the days when she felt like giving in to the creatures that so tirelessly sought her death.
For the first time since her mother's death, Lila allowed herself the luxury of tears. Protector always said that tears were weakness, and she must be strong. Protector had never cried. Protector had wiped Lila's tears away, pulled her to her feet, and smiled that little smile that said that despite what the harsh realities of the Arena made it necessary to do to survive, Protector understood and loved Lila regardless of weakness.
But Protector, with her gentle heart that always showed through despite her strict teaching...Protector was gone. Lila had been all alone for two years. She had lost everything, and she was truly alone.
So Lila cried, for lost innocence, for dashed hopes, for broken dreams. She wept for the knowledge that even in the company of another, she was still alone. She cried because now that she had seen the blackness in human hearts, there was no going back. No longer could she hold onto her belief that life was humans against wolves―the world had gained a level of complexity that she had never perceived before. For so many years she had refused to admit to any other reality. But now, in the face of a young woman who knew the searing pain of betrayal at the hand of her own kind, she saw that the world was not so simple as she had thought. Flashes of conversations had with her mentor flashed through her head, and with a sudden certainty Lila knew her heart had denied what her mind had always known.
For a long time, Lila sat in the dark with her face buried against Seeker's shoulder until the dog whined and squirmed away, then Lila pulled her knees to her chest and curled up as tightly as she could, turning the flashlight off so that they were plunged into complete darkness. She let the tears come until her chest and head began to ache and her breath came in hiccuping sobs. She could hear the faint echo of Katie calling her name, but she did not move to go back. She closed her eyes and drew the silence around her like a blanket, blocking out the sound as she had learned to do with the wolves. Finally the calls stopped, and the only sounds were Seeker's quiet breathing and her own heartbeat. The air was cool in here, with the faintest smell of moss and wet concrete. A gentle breeze tugged at her hair as it flowed back the way she had come, drying the tears on her cheeks.
A breeze. Lila's eyes shot open and she sat up, flicking the flashlight on. The light flow of air was coming from the depths of the tunnel, not from the outside. She shone the flashlight in that direction, but all she could see was the uniform gray of the concrete walls. She jumped to her feet, shaking off the throbbing headache her tears had caused, and trotted farther down the tunnel with Seeker at her side. The floor angled slightly upward as it ran farther back into the Cliffs. This branch was dry―the stream that ran through the main tunnel came from the center branch, not this one. She had explored that one with the thought that the water must come from somewhere, but had found nothing except more concrete.
Lila's feet thudded against the concrete as she settled into a ground-eating lope with the beam of the flashlight bouncing in front of her, Seeker's nails clicking behind her on the rough concrete as the dog followed.
Chapter 4: Hope and Despair
There was no sun to mark time in the deep darkness of the tunnel. Lila thought it was maybe a quarter of an hour later when she reached the second branch. These tunnels were even smaller than the one she was in now, each branch half the size of the parent tunnel. Lila could have reached her arms over her head and touch the ceiling with her fingertips if she had wished. Lila stood at the fork, eyes closed, waiting for another gust of air. It came from the branch to her right, which angled slightly upward. She paused, glancing backward, wondering if she should turn back. Eventually the pull of new discovery won over her reluctance and she trotted down the smaller tunnel. Her stomach growled its protest at her meager breakfast but was ignored. Her legs were still strong and this gave her something to do while she worked off her anger at the conversation with Katie. It wouldn't hurt to explore a little while longer.
The flashlight bounced with her steps, showing the way along a concrete floor that seemed different in a way that nagged at Lila but she couldn't quite place. She finally realized that it was covered in a light dusting of dirt interspersed with an occasional leaf. The air on her face was warm, a current of air that smelled of honeysuckle and pine needles. It was a stark contrast to the slightly musty smell of the rest of the tunnel.
At some point she realized that the dark in front of her was subtly changing. Flicking the flashlight off, she saw that the darkness around her was no longer complete, but rather a gray twilight that grew lighter as she kept running. There was a tiny spot of light in the ceiling far ahead that grew in brightness and size as she drew closer until she had to squint her eyes against the glare.
With a suddeness that made Seeker collide with her heels, Lila stopped. In front of her was a solid wall of rock leading upward to a jagged hole in the tunnel roof through which poured morning sunlight. She couldn't see far, but whas she could see looked exactly like the forest she knew. Tall, waving trees that sighed in the breeze that teased her hair. Trees that stood on the edge of some sort of sinkhole, at the bottom of which was the caved-in tunnel.
Gingerly, afraid to trigger another cave-in that would bring the roof dow
n on her head, Lila stood on the edge of the rock pile and placed her hands on two rocks higher up, causing both to break free in a shower of dirt that left her spluttering and sneezing. The dirt pile was too loose for her to climb on her own, and she couldn't hang from the edge of the hole without taking the risk of bringing the whole thing down on her. She needed help―or a ladder.
Lila sighed and scratched behind Seeker's ears as she stood at the bottom of the cave-in, out at the small bit of forest she could see. The Cliffs were impenetrable. This couldn't possibly be a way out. It couldn't possibly be this easy―or so close. It would be the greatest irony the world had ever known if she had spent her last two years within walking distance of an escape. Yes, she had explored the tunnels―but always the branches with water running through them, thinking that the stream must come from somewhere. And she had never had reason to search this far, assuming that the tunnels ended in solid rock, or smaller grates like the one she had passed through earlier.
A flash of anger burned through Lila's veins and she violently threw a rock up and out through the hole. Denial. Her whole life was one long string of denials and ignorance. And now, she had a possible escape from the life she had known―close enough to touch and yet so far away. She desperately wanted to scramble up and out, ignoring the danger, but what point was freedom if you were dead? Her years in the woods had been focused on survival. She wasn't about to throw all that away on a possibility.
The Arena (Ultimate Soldier Book 1) Page 4
