by Jo Zebedee
Apius stops, placing the quill down deliberately. He looks back at his hut, and with his written words fresh in his mind it suddenly feels very empty. The furs on the floor are made for only one, the table he sits at has only one chair. His larder contains food to sustain one person. Such things he has never considered before. Why did he refuse to be matched when the initial pairings of wefi and Hasban were made? What do those titles even mean to those within Genem? He has never had the chance to find out, and certainly has no inclination to ask. But why did the idea never appeal to him? When so many wanted companionship, he sought isolation. All had the option to live alone. Few took that up, but Apius was among them.
Was that the gods of the Animex somehow singling him out? His duty – his only duty – is to the Animex and to his people. And this book remains vital to that duty.
So all Animexians must unite, not only in those duties that they see fit, but in their pursuits of pleasure. A life filled with drudgery and labour is no life fit for the children of gods.
Apius places down the quill, content with his night's work. The book is almost complete, and soon he will be ready to reveal it to all of his congregation.
***
Life has begun to settle back into some kind of routine in Genem. For some life remains unaltered, but for others things have changed inexorably. They head to the temple each sunup, ready to hear the words of the Re'Nuck as handed down by the Animex, and again as the moons begin to rise. They talk much of the gods and their second-hand proclamations.
But none of them speaks of First Worship.
This is not out of shame, or disgust at their actions. No, they enjoy the secrecy, another element of the pleasure that night brought. They may smile at each other, or exchange meaningful glances, but there is nothing by way of words to communicate those feelings. Perhaps in the future the true meaning of First Worship can be passed on to all. But for now it stays a delicious secret.
Whatever duty they hold, they will always have that. Some of these pleasures are flaunted, while other truly remain unknown to those around them. In selective huts, feasts are held to echo that of First Worship itself, the gathered food wolfed down animalistically. Many people do just a minimum of duties before going on runs through the jungles, unsanctioned hunts, all carried out in the darkness of moonrise. Their lives are like they have never been before, the solidity of duty giving way to the fluidity of pleasure.
The division that was once just in attitude is now something far more.
Asha sees it, of course, or at least some of it. She knows who was in that crowd, and sees the change in them. They gave in to something that night, a part of themselves emerging that had never been seen before. Had it even existed before, she wonders, or did Apius somehow give rise to it with his rhetoric, inducing an otherwise impossible frenzy?
But what happened that night is none of her concern. She has another matter on her mind entirely – a single, precious object she holds tight in her hand. It takes her a few minutes to seek out Ajerus, who is checking on Leranus's work in his quadrant.
'Asha. A surprise to see you.'
'Surprise? Why?'
'Well... after what happened...'
'Look, we can forget about that. I find it hard to understand why you did it, but I know you were trying to act for the best.'
'Thank you, Asha.'
'But there is another reason I'm here.'
'Of course.'
'Out in my quadrant... well, I know we are on the outskirts, but...'
'What happened in your quadrant?'
Asha doesn't answer with words, but opens her hand to show the simple vegetable that sits in her palm. Ajerus's face is filled with shock as he leans down to take a closer look, not even daring to take it out of her hand at first.
'This grew in your quadrant?'
'Of course. Where else would it come from?'
'I can hardly believe it. This is wonderful. It feels like a miracle!'
'A miracle? Ajerus, must you get so carried away?'
'Carried away? We have waited so many sunups for this, and finally it is here!'
That does not make it a miracle, Ajerus.
She speaks forcefully into his mind, keeping this conversation between the two of them.
I do not want you to speak to me in this manner, Asha.
What do you mean? Against your religion?
Reaching into my mind.
Why not?
Because it unsettles me. I do not know how it is we can do this, but I dislike it.
How so?
It is only you who is willing to speak to me like this. It is not fitting.
Fitting? You would prefer if your wefi spoke to you in this manner?
I do not want anyone to speak to me in this manner. We were given tongues for a reason.
Perhaps we were also given this manner of speech for a reason.
Stop, Asha! We must stop speaking like this!
Why, Ajerus? Why is this matter so important to you?
It has... opened some kind of door, Asha? I cannot understand how it has happened, but...
Please, Ajerus. I have to know why.
I hear you, Asha. I... I had thought it would be the same for you.
You hear me? What do you mean, hear me?
There's no logic to it, Asha. But sometimes your thoughts will suddenly infiltrate my brain.
How much have you... how much do you listen to me?
I try to block it out, Asha. I am no voyeur. I have no wish to see into your mind. But... it is beyond my control.
How has this happened?
I do not know, Asha! If only I did know, I would make it cease!
I have never heard one of your thoughts. Not unbidden. Not without your permission.
This is precisely what I mean! You play with this way of communication as though it is nothing, but now you realise how little you understand! You have opened your thoughts to me, and now that access is somehow unchecked. I can only hope that by stopping, it will come to an end.
Asha pauses in a moment of decision.
'Very well, Ajerus. I am sorry this has come about.'
'There is no need to apologise. You had no way of knowing this would happen.'
'And neither did you.'
'Let us speak no more of it. I intended to bring you good news, Ajerus!'
His face breaks into a smile, so different from just moments before.
'Yes, indeed. This could signal a new food source, a new hope for a simpler life for all of us!'
'What will we do?'
'I suppose we need to concentrate out efforts on your quadrant, and this plant.'
'What do you call it?'
'The calionus. I've tried a few that have been foraged – quite delicious, in fact.'
'There's not much to it.'
'Still, if we could grow them in a sufficient quantity, they could prove to be quite a food source. Why don't you try it?'
'Try it? Don't we have to keep this?'
'Why would we have to keep it? We know about it, and you've shown it to me. I don't see any reason that we need it as a souvenir. Go ahead, you might enjoy it.'
Asha looks at him suspiciously. You might enjoy it.
'And I suppose that's just what you'd like, isn't it, Ajerus?'
'What do you mean?'
'For me to start enjoying myself. For me to give in to my... urges.'
'Urges? It's just a vegetable, Asha. Nothing more.'
'There is something more, and you and I both know it. I will not be like you. You can keep your pleasures to yourself!'
Her piece said, Asha throws the calionus at him, leaving him trying to catch it before it falls to the soil.
Words, Thoughts
Zerial returns to his hut to find Asha sat down on the floor. The chair and the furs are both undisturbed, and Zerial knows that his wefi has been there for some time. She doesn't even look up
at him as he comes in – she simply keeps her head down, face towards the floor. 'Asha? Wefi? Is something the matter?'
'Is something the matter? Such a question, Hasban Do you know me so little?'
'What is it, my love?'
'There is much wrong in Genem, Hasban This village has... suffered in recent sunups.'
'Suffered? Much seems the same to me.'
For the first time she looks up to him. Her eyes are rimmed with the red of tears, and they burn into him with fury.
'The same? Nothing is the same, Zerial! Do you need see the changes in the streets out there, the people around you?'
'What changes, wefi?'
'How can you be so blind to what goes on around you? Do you see anything? The sly grins, the secret meetings, the indulgences that happen beneath the surface?'
'Please, calm down, Asha. Tell me. I want to understand.'
'You notice the physical and nothing more. You have not seen the shift within our friends, our acquaintances. Our people are changing at their core!'
'You exaggerate, wefi. You have spent too much time worrying about this religion, sniffing around Apius and the temple.'
'I did all of that because I want to stop him!'
'Stop him. Stop him! Who says that he can be stopped? And what makes it your duty to do so?'
'No-one else has made it their duty. I notice you have not made efforts to help me!'
'Asha, you have a strong conscience, a powerful spirit. I knew all of these things when you and I became wefi and Hasban But I beg you not to pursue this. Apius has many people here in Genem in the palm of his hand, for better or worse. Our people are young, Asha. We are learning. We are changing. In a few sunups this whole thing may have passed us by, and everyone will have forgotten the name of Apius.'
'I don't think that will happen.'
'But you don't know that. Let this run its course. Trust your fellows.'
'You don't understand, Zerial. I knew that you could not.'
'And neither do you understand what I am saying. Let us speak no more of it!'
And do what? Sit here in silence until sunup?
Zerial stares at her, slack-jawed. His mouth moves but no words emerge. Asha realises that she has never spoken to her husband without words in this way, the mental projection new to him.
'What are you doing, Asha?'
'I am simply... speaking to you.'
'No you are not. This is speaking, voice to voice. What you did was... something else.'
'And what of it? Are you afraid?'
'Afraid...? Perhaps I am.'
What is there to be scared of? It is just another way of communicating.
Zerial continues to look uncertain, refusing to respond to her mind-words in kind.
'You know there is more to it than that.'
'It is not forbidden, or disallowed.'
'You have done it before, haven't you? You are too relaxed, it comes too easily.'
'What does it matter?'
'What does it matter? It matters because all of a sudden I found out my wefi is a woman I hardly know! I never had you down for an activist, but I have tried to live with that. But this... who else have you spoken to in this way?'
'Just Ajerus.'
'From the fields?' Why him? How did it happen?'
'I wish I knew why, or how. We were having a conversation... an argument, really, and then it just happened. Somehow we were talking with minds rather than lips. It could have been anyone...'
'Could it? Is that how it works?'
'What do we know about it, Zerial? I know nothing of how it works, because there is some... unspoken rule that we use our words and nothing else! In all our sunups we could have learned everything about this ability, but people are so afraid! People do not want to act for themselves!'
'You should watch your tongue, Asha.'
'Now you order me around as well? Is that what being a Hasban is all about?'
'I order you nothing, wefi. I know better than to expect you to listen to me. But you go too far with what you say.'
'I only speak the truth, Zerial!'
'And there is another who claims the very same. You risk becoming as bad as him!'
'Do not say that to me.'
'Are you so free to dispense the truth, yet so unwilling to hear it?'
'This conversation is over.'
Asha brushes past her Hasban as she says this, heading towards the doorway of their hut.
I will not be back, Zerial. If this is how you treat me, I will not be back.
Asha wanders the streets of Genem, unsure of where to go. She is furious at Zerial, but also rages at herself. She has been too soft for too long, standing by and watching as the cult that Apius has developed has grown and grown. She has been exiled from those she once shared a quadrant in the fields with, fallen out with her Hasban, and found herself wandering with no home. It is then that she hears something that heartens her, makes her smile.
Asha, are you there?
Ajerus?
You can hear me. I wasn't sure if you'd be able to.
Are you nearby?
I don't know, where are you?
Can you reach me anywhere? Is that how it works?
It might be. Perhaps the link gets stronger the more we talk like this.
That makes sense. Asha...
How much did you hear?
Most of it. More than I wanted to, rest assured.
I know, Ajerus. I have no reason to doubt you.
Do you know where my hut is?
Your hut? I think so. But what about your wefi...
What do you mean?
Would she not...
Asha lets the thought dangle, not quite sure how to complete it.
I invited you to help you, as a friend. I have no doubt Harila will understand.
Thank you, Ajerus.
I don't know what will happen after tonight. I cannot take you in indefinitely.
I know. Tonight will be enough. I will... have to figure something out after that.
I will talk to Harila before you arrive.
Asha wends her way round the pathways of Genem, again amazed at how much the simple village has developed around her. Despite everything, is it a strange pleasure to walk through the streets and know the progress the Noukari have made. She still recalls those first days trying to shelter under trees or in shallow-dug holes, wet and cold from the driving rains. So few sunups and here is a settlement, filled with homes robust enough to withstand Noukaria's weather and inhabited by couples where there were once only individuals. A swell of pride fills her, but is tinged with the sadness of recent developments. She knows as well as anyone that the partnership of wefi and Hasban is supposed to last until death, but how can she go back? She pushes the thought aside, focusing only on the present. Many things have changed of late – perhaps the unbreakable nature of those bonds can be altered also. Was it ever reasonable to expect every pairing to be compatible?
But she knows she cannot run from those problems forever.
Tonight she will stay with Ajerus, but on the sunup she knows she must face Zerial once more.
The Pages Revealed
Apius has barely slept as a result of his own excitement. He relishes the journey to the temple, taking the longest way round. This way he gets to see most of his followers. He greets each with warm smiles and simple prayers, and promises a special sermon today. There are still those who shy away from him, avoid eye contact, ignore his greetings. He feels a strange sort of frustration with them, not borne of anger but of disbelief. How could anyone on Noukaria still doubt? They will come around in time, he reassures himself. In sunups his faith has grown from a handful of followers to almost half of Genem. The rest will join them in time.
By the time he arrives at the temple, he is pleased to see the rows of seats already half-full and more people arriving by the moment. He smiles to himself, the nervousnes
s of his early days as Re'Nuck now gone. The title is his every bit as much as the very name he was granted.
Once the temple is full, Apius bids the doors to be closed and reaches down to the floor beneath his altar. The silence is expectant, and he allows it to play out for a moment before placing the bound papyrus on the table before him. As always, Viarus is sat in the front row, and he can feel the expectancy in him as their eyes meet.
Yes, this is it.
Apius feels the words slip from his mind rather than being pre-considered, the mind-speech beyond his control. Viarus simply smiles, either refusing or unable to reply into the Re'Nuck's thoughts. They have never communicated this way before, but it does not feel uncomfortable, the link between them is such.
'My brothers, my sisters, I have spoken much for many sunups about the Animex. At First Worship, we started down a most important road, taking our first steps towards the discovery of what gives us pleasure. Each one of us chose their own path.'
Apius is pleased to see a few nods and subtle grins among the crowd. They remember it well, and the shame that immediately followed it is now eradicated.
'I have been keeping a secret from you, brothers and sisters. But I have only kept this secret because I had to do so, until the time was right. You may have wondered where these sermons emerged from. The Animex have delivered their words and wishes to me. And I have not just heard them – I have committed them to page. Before me, on this very altar, sits the masterwork of Animexianism. I have worked beneath both sun and moons to create this book, with the help of the gods themselves! No longer will the way of the Animexian be merely spoken, but we will be able to read these words, share them with all Noukari. I give you my gift – The Book of Apius!'
