“Well, how about, I find out that my mother knows them? Told Charlie’s mom to “keep an eye on me.” Can you believe that? Anyway, the three of them, plus two other ladies, all went to Vegas, instead of mother staying home to visit with her only daughter.”
He cringed. “That’s kinda messed up. You good?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I am. I didn’t really want to go to Chicago anyway,” I giggled. “So now, here I am, getting in trouble for forgetting to put safety first.”
Sean stepped back, shaking his head as he tried not to smile. “In trouble?”
“Mmmhmm,” I nodded. “Getting in trouble, getting injured,” – I glanced down at my legs as they dried – “Getting ashy, after this little… impromptu spa treatment.”
Sean lifted an eyebrow as he looked over my legs. “You’re not ashy.”
“I will be in about five more minutes,” I laughed. “Let me go rectify that.”
I started to climb down from the counter, but Sean stopped me. “What?” he asked. “You’re gonna mess up the other foot now too?”
I sucked my teeth. “Okay, what should I do? I was going to be careful, but I have to get out of the kitchen someh—oh!” Sean swept me into his arms again, and this time I didn’t complain as he carried me out of the kitchen.
“Sorry, I know I’m all sweaty,” he said, as he stepped into the living room.
“But you smell good.” I put my face against his chest and inhaled, clenching my thighs as his scent filled my nostrils. Salty, but clean, with faint remnants of his familiar cologne… I closed my eyes and inhaled again.
He chuckled. “You don’t have to spare my feelings. I already told you I’ve been smelly and ugly since I was a little kid.” Still carrying me, he stopped by my front door to toe off his shoes, and then proceeded to carry me up my stairs.
“You don’t have to do this,” I said, running my fingers over the back of his ear. “And I’ve told you already, you definitely left the ugly and the funk behind.”
Sean groaned, then shook his head moving away from my touch. “You can’t be touching me like that, Fal. Unless you’re trying to start something.”
Our eyes met in the semi darkness of my bedroom, and with a little grin, I raised my hand again, biting my lip as I cupped his ear again. “This is starting something?”
“Hell yes,” he chuckled, moving his head away from me again. “Got me giving away my weaknesses and shit. Will you – stop!” he laughed, as I grabbed his ears one more time before he lowered me onto the end of my bed. “Why are you messing with me like that?”
I giggled. “I can’t help it. You’re so damn laid back that it makes me want to bother you.”
“You realize you said that out loud?” Sean asked, laughing as he lifted his hands in a what the hell gesture.
I shrugged. “Hey, just being honest. You know you like me messing with you, don’t you?”
Sean shook his head, looking up toward the ceiling, but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “Fallon, you are…”
“I am… what?” I asked, leaning back onto my elbows after he didn’t finish his sentence.
“Never mind. Where’s your lotion?”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Where’s my… are you serious?”
“Nah, I’m playing,” he laughed. “Come on, where’s the lotion?”
“Brown jar with a tan label on the bathroom counter.”
A few moments later, Sean was rubbing my body butter together in his hands before he spread it onto my skin. He’d pulled the bench away from the end of the bed to sit on it and face me, and from this position, I had a perfect vantage point of my spur-of-the-moment foot massage.
“You’re really serious about this, huh?” I asked, eyes closed as his hands moved firmly over the ball of my foot. I was so glad my legs were shaved.
“This is a hell of a lot more fun than what I was doing before.”
Sean’s hands were, quite frankly, amazing. His touch was firm, but careful, especially over the foot I’d cut, and his calloused palms were somehow soothing against my skin. Or… maybe it was just the fact that he was touching me.
I could say all I wanted that I wasn’t ready to be involved, but everything about tonight told a different story. A friend had never picked me up like Sean had – hell, no man, period, but that was a whole other thing. A friend had never carried me to my bedroom. I’d never flirted with a friend like I had with Sean. I’d never gotten a foot massage from a friend. And… a friend had never looked at me the way Sean was looking at me when I opened my eyes.
My breath caught in my throat.
No, the look he was giving me now, like nothing would please him more than snatching me out of my already minimal clothes… a friend had never looked at me like that.
“You have nice feet,” he said, dropping his gaze to my toes as he squeezed them between his fingers. I had to bite my lip to suppress a moan as he ran his hands up and over my calves, smoothing more moisturizer into my skin.
“Don’t tell me you’ve got a foot fetish or something,” I mumbled under my breath as I closed my eyes again.
Sean laughed. “Nah, nothing like that. I just… think you have pretty feet. How is it that everything about you looks good?”
“Not everything. You haven’t seen my stretch marks or the dimples on my ass yet.”
I loved every bit of my curvy size fourteen body, but seriously? Loving on myself didn’t mean negate the fact that it wasn’t as perfect as he was making it seem – at least not to my eyes.
“Stretch marks and dimples make the ass a little more interesting,” he said, chuckling as he pressed his thumbs into my arches. “And just to put this out there – my list of services does include ass massage.”
I opened my eyes. “Ass massage?”
“Hell yeah.” He grinned. “You ever need somebody to come and rub on your booty, you know my number, just give me a call.” I burst into laughter, shaking my head as Sean moved his hands away from my feet, resting them at my ankles. “How does your foot feel?”
I shrugged. “Like I snagged it on a jagged floor plank.”
Sean cringed. “I thought the foot massage might help you feel better.”
“The foot massage made me feel great,” I said with a smile, leaving out that I was also turned the hell on. “But I’m still in pain. Maybe if you kiss it…”
I meant that as a joke, but my eyes went wide when Sean lifted my foot, placing a kiss against the bandage. I giggled a little, and started to say something about it, but the words caught in my throat when he kissed it again, and again, moving up to my toes.
I felt it between my legs when he covered my pinky toe with his mouth. My breath came in little gasps as one by one, he sucked each of my toes, and then began kissing his way up to my ankle. By the time his lips had traveled the length of my calf, up to my knee, I was panting. He eased my legs open, then looked up at me with a little grin that sent more moisture rushing to my panties, then kissed his way up the inside of my thigh.
Sean put his face right against the seat of my panties and inhaled deep, and the air rushing over my skin made me whimper. Before my pointless trip to the airport, I’d showered, and then debated on my choice of underwear. Now, I was beyond grateful for my pick of comfortable lace hipsters, because when he covered me with his mouth and sucked, the rasp of the fabric was heavenly against my skin.
After that, he went straight for my mouth. He came for me as if he’d been waiting forever to taste my lips and tongue. He buried his hands in my hair, keeping me in place as he devoured my mouth with a passion that took my breath away. I moaned against him as he sucked my tongue, then lips, then pushed his tongue in to explore my mouth again.
My hands found their way to his belt, and I had it in unbuckled in seconds. I unbuttoned and unzipped and pushed down, wriggled my fingers under the waistband of his boxers and past the soft hair that started low on his pelvis.
And then I had him in my hands. He groaned
against my mouth as I wrapped my fingers around him and squeezed, keeping my grip tender but firm. With the other hand, I tugged his waistband down, freeing him from the confines of his boxers. He dropped his mouth to my neck as I stroked him, gently, letting my fingers dance over his velvety skin.
“Fallon,” he murmured against my ear, then grazed it with his teeth as he grasped my panties. “Protection?”
I lifted up so he could take my panties off, then grinned as he tossed them somewhere across the room. “Where? Your wallet?”
His lips pressed against my throat, and I closed my eyes. “My wallet is in my truck… you don’t have any here?”
“No,” I whimpered, as his hand moved between my legs, and his thumb slipped over my clit. “I… I haven’t bought condoms in a while, didn’t have a reason.”
Until now.
Instantly, a lump built in my throat. I opened my eyes, and out of nowhere, a wave of sadness swept over me, with the realization that this was just another way Ray was still affecting my life. We’d been together for three years, gotten tested together, all of that. I was on birth control, and I trusted Ray with my health, because I thought he was faithful. And he loved me. What need did we have for condoms?
And now… that was just another level of trust, destroyed. I’d been tested at my last trip to the doctor, and hadn’t been with Ray since then. So no, he hadn’t passed anything to me, from his side chick and whoever else he was screwing, but… still.
“I thought I was done with that,” I said, meeting Sean’s eyes. He was intuitive enough to know the mood had shifted, and was pulling his boxers up, looking at me as if he was waiting for an explanation. “Done with needing to use protection, done with having that fear in my mind. You know it didn’t even occur to me to use a condom? I was so used to being with a partner I thought I could trust to keep me safe, but now… that’s gone. He destroyed that for me, and now… it’s like… what next?”
I didn’t realize I was crying until Sean wiped my face, and immediately, I was swept with embarrassment. At this point, he had to think I was a crazy person, and there was yet another thing Ray had stripped from me. How could I move on when the depths of how the breakup affected me hadn’t completely sunk in yet?
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, sniffling as I dropped my gaze. “This was a complete disaster.”
Sean cupped my face in his hands, wiping away more tears with the pads of his thumbs. “It was a disaster,” he chuckled. “But don’t be sorry. I told you… I’ve been through this before.”
“You had an emotional breakdown with somebody’s dick in your hands?”
“Fallon, what?!” He dropped his head backwards, letting out a shout of laughter. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “I definitely have not. But, the realization you’re having… that you’re starting over, having to build that level of trust with someone new, from scratch… I had to have that realization too. And it wasn’t fun.”
“But you remembered protection.”
“Yeah. But my divorce was over a year ago. For you, it’s barely been a month,” he said, smiling as he caressed my face, then dropped his hands down to my waist. “I think it takes time to feel normal again, when you’ve been with somebody for a long time, and it unexpectedly ends. Hell, I’m still working on it myself.”
I shook my head. “But what does it mean, if I do feel normal… when I’m with you?”
It wasn’t something I even intended to say out loud, but it was true. The emotional and mental anguish of the breakup hadn’t been easy, but somehow, when I was around Sean, it was the furthest thing from my mind.
Usually.
“I don’t know,” Sean said, tipping my chin up so that I was looking at him. “But… since we’re having a little truth moment here… I feel pretty damn normal around you too.”
I closed my eyes as he brought his lips to mine. Our first kiss, at my front door, had been exploratory… curious and sweet. The second, just a few minutes ago, had been hungry and passionate. This time, though… I got the distinct impression that Sean was… savoring me. So, I basked in the kiss, soaking up his worshipful attention.
The bullshit with Ray was quickly forgotten. Between the sweet caress of his tongue against mine, punctuated by the velvety touch of his lips, the subtle roughness of his hands as they dropped to my thighs, then slid under me to grip and squeeze my ass, and the arousing, salty scent of his skin, my mind was otherwise occupied. I was damn near ready to pick up where we’d left off, but Sean ended the kiss and pulled back, looking at me with a smile.
“You hungry?”
I lifted my eyebrow at the question first, but then I laughed, because… “Yes, actually. I am.”
“Okay then. How about we order some takeout. While we wait for it, I’m gonna grab my gym bag so I can shower – if you’re okay with me using yours. And then, we’ll just chill.”
I leaned forward, pressing myself against him as I grazed my fingers along his waistband. “Just chill?”
“Yes,” he said, with a soft chuckle as he covered my hands with his. “Three weeks ago, you told me you weren’t ready to get involved. And after what happened a few minutes ago…”
“I’m picking up what you’re putting down.” I smiled up at him, and then wrapped my arms around him, lowering my head to his chest. “Thank you, for… being yourself, I guess. Being so patient, and so… delicate with me.”
He shrugged. “You don’t have to thank me for that. It’s common courtesy.”
“It’s not, though. Really. Maybe for you, and for the men you associate yourself with, but in general, it’s not. I feel completely comfortable telling you that I haven’t been as cautious with my feelings as I should after this breakup. I’m all over the place. Reeling from the sucker-punch of getting dumped over the phone. You could have taken advantage of that. A lot of men would have. But you didn’t… and I appreciate you for that.”
Sean scratched his head, giving me an embarrassed half smile. “Seriously, I just—”
“Just take the compliment,” I said, tugging at his shirt. “You’re a sweetheart, Sean, accept it. You’re fine, you smell good, and even though you’re all big and strong and muscly, and all that… you are a teddy bear.”
He shook his head, swiping a hand over his face to try to cover his smile. “Chill.”
“I will not chill, look at you! You’re blushing, oh my God!”
“I’m not.”
“You so are!”
He definitely was, and something about that made me like him even more. I could practically feel my internal “hell yes, he’ll do” meter shooting through the roof. This six foot tall, at least two hundred fifty pound, manly-ass man was blushing over something I’d said to him. My heart was going to explode.
“Why are you like this?” he asked, chuckling as he pulled my hands up to kiss my fingers.
“Like what?”
His lips parted as if he had something to say, but then he shook his head. “Never mind.”
“Nuh-uh,” I said, pulling my hands from his to cup his face, keeping him turned toward me. “You almost said something before, and you told me never mind then too. Don’t do that. Just… tell me. Why am I like what?”
His eyes were warm, and focused right on me, filled with a kind of admiration I hadn’t felt in a long time, and hadn’t realized I was missing. The corners of his mouth turned up in a smile, but he shook his head again. “I… I can’t figure how to put it into words. But, it’s a good thing.”
“So whatever way I am… you like it.”
He nodded. “Fallon… I like you.” He pressed his lips to mine for a soft kiss that was much shorter than I wanted it to be. “I’m gonna go grab my bag, and then we can talk about food. Okay?”
“Okay.”
I watched as he left the room, and then flopped back onto my bed, thinking about the events of the night. Honestly… Sean was right to remind me of my own declaration of not being ready to get involved with anybody. I
couldn’t let physical desire trump my emotional well-being. I needed to give myself more time to process, more time to heal.
I just needed more time. But… the warmth I felt deep in my chest, knowing that Sean would be back up those stairs in a few minutes, knowing that my night would be spent in his arms… I don’t think my heart got the whole “give it more time” memo.
Eight.
“Will you get your fingers out of my plate, please?!”
I shooed Fallon’s hands away from my side of the table, but not before she snagged a handful of fries, then proceeded to eat them triumphantly while looking me dead in the face. I really wanted to laugh, but I had to maintain some semblance of disapproval here.
I was supposed to be irritated about her picking food off my plate.
Not because it was a societal norm – even though that was true as well – but because historically, a woman who wanted to eat what I had instead of what she ordered annoyed the shit out of me. Even my damn wife, when things were still good, couldn’t even look at my plate too long without my eyebrow starting to twitch a little bit. Silly pet peeve? Maybe so. But still… keep your damn hands to yourself.
But somehow, with Fallon, I couldn’t find that displeasure. Hell, I was honestly tempted to push the whole plate at her, if that would bring a smile to her pretty face. I wasn’t ready yet to explore the implications of my impulse to make sure she had whatever she wanted.
“You weren’t even eating them,” she shrugged, happily chewing the last fry before she delicately wiped her hands and mouth with her napkin.
I shook my head as I stood up, leaving enough money to cover our lunch bill plus a tip on the table. “That’s beside the point. You didn’t see me with my fingers in your plate did you?”
“No,” she said, accepting my hand to lead her outside to my truck. “But don’t act like you wouldn’t love to get your hands in my cookie jar, Sean.”
She murmured those words in my ear, and then released my hand to go to her side of the car. I was right behind her, catching the door handle to open it for her before she did it for herself. I guess Ray had her used to opening her own doors.
The Way Love Goes (Serendipitous Love Book 4) Page 8
